Venus square Pluto: In Theory and Practice

Dear Friend and Reader:

Today, Venus retrograde is in an exact square to Pluto, inching her way toward the Aries Point. The square was exact at 6:21 am ET and because Venus is slow and powerful in the sky, it’s within exact orb as you read this.

Venus is visible above Earths moon, which is illuminated solely by light reflected from Earth. Because of Venus nearness to Earth and the way its clouds reflect sunlight, it appears to be the brightest planet in the night sky. Photograph courtesy NASA.
Venus is visible above Earth's moon, which is illuminated solely by light reflected from Earth. Because of Venus' nearness to Earth and the way its clouds reflect sunlight, it appears to be the brightest planet in the night sky. Photograph courtesy NASA.

I’ve been working up to this aspect in previous columns all year, and the Venus retrograde series of events are described in the most precise astrological and psychological detail in the Next World Stories editions for Taurus and Libra (the signs with which Venus is most closely associated).

Let’s consider the theory of the square for a moment. Remember that the square aspect is about inner tension that the psyche is trying to resolve and build on. In natal astrology, typically when we’re younger, squares create a kind of split personality. We will jump from one side of the square to the other, living it out in pieces. This can feel like a deep inner division that cannot be reconciled, but it will keep demanding our attention.

As we grow and grow older, if things are going well, we’ll gradually integrate the two sides of the energy dynamic, which results in an increasingly mature, consistent person. If things are not going well, some people will camp out in one side of the square, in denial of a crucial, deeply influential side of their nature. This other, neglected side will erupt from time to time (usually when under transit) and can cause a lot of problems. We’ve all met these folks, we meet them every day and we may even live with one.

With a transiting square, we all go through a similar process. Venus square Pluto is particularly strong because it happens three times in close proximity: Feb. 6, 2009 (with Venus direct), April 3, 2009 (with Venus retrograde) and May 2, 2009 (with Venus direct).

When a pattern like this takes place, nearby standing points in our chart will also be activated repeatedly, and from two directions (from each side of the square). Many people can seem to be going through the same kind of change, crisis or growth process at the same time.

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19 thoughts on “Venus square Pluto: In Theory and Practice”

  1. L: Exactly! Thank you very much for your response and the fine-tuning. And Eric is right: you are very clear -and considerate- in the way you spell out.
    Lots of layers to explore, a general theory of love shows a way to ‘play with’ that. With my sun in the 8th I almost automatically I guess am aware of dark soul movements within me and others. It’s scary and fascinating. Just as being me and just as relating. Long live the limbic resonance, the highs and lows are what I am made of.
    Hug for the touching,
    Heleen

  2. himmetje, Your response is written very well and conveys volumes .

    I think that intensity can be experienced in two different ways. One type in the begining has a positve exuberance because a long standing void seems to disappear or be filled because of a certain person. While this is a powerful experience the intensity becomes anxious because of the overpowering need and being needed nature. When really they just triggered and awakened an essential part of you that got lost in the shuffle long before you met. They can never be this for you nor can they give you it . The place where it can be found can only be accessed by you and you alone and that is within yourself . We can spend years in a realtionship filled with this type of intensity draining ourselves in bondage trying to do the impossible completely unaware of this fact. Its like if your lover expresses a real desire to excercise loose a few pounds, then you putting on your sneakers, go jog a 2 mile while he/she stays home eating Ben and Jerrys .

    The other type of intensity is far more yummy … Eric had many qualities contained in his post above that are essential for experiencing it.
    Love on ya
    L

  3. Masturbating, I have learned to see this as a real act of self-love. It feels so totally different the last couple of years than when I was young. Being free and honest with my own body took me more than 20 years. I have no memory of damaging or abusing experiences, so I think religion has a lot to do with the feelings of guilt and shame I had. I knew somehow it was a selfdamaging act, but still wasn’t able to believe my own natural attraction to myself. It was in my 40-ies I found masturbation to be really liberating. And great to share with someone, because it carries a perfect (to me) gesture of intimacy and juiciness. An autonomous act, yes Eric. Playing all the cards face-up. And being aware of the curiosity, the fantasy and the exploring. The naked truth.
    PS, referring to the ritual at Burning Man: I would not let anybody else make me marry myself. I do the asking, when I am ready for it. And I strongly believe in having sex before marriage…..just to be ready for me as the right person!

  4. 3 police officers shot and killed following an alleged domestic arguement between a mother and a 23 year old son this morning in Pittsburgh, Pa.———the astrology, I think ,for today is Mars opposite Saturn……this follows along with the discussion on this thread of anger and frustrations between the familial males and females.

  5. In response to 7Towers’ original post: from what you are saying, I can see with new eyes why I lack a sexual meeting point with the overwhelming majority of the women I meet. It’s not just that I have my simple guidelines: that we both be in a position to say yes; that neither of us has to lie or be the subject of a lie. That’s my basic threshold. Also, I don’t mess with pregnancy and I take only minimal risks with health; this requires a lot of awareness and the willingness to be honest before sex happens.

    I also don’t make a presumption of monogamy from the first experience. [As an aside, Genevieve said to me a few times that she assumed that she had to move in with any guy she had sex with; and this is coming from a witch. I think she’s been rearranging her values on this lately.] I am willing and would be happy to move toward monogamy or bonding with the right person, gently, staying open and aware of the world around us. When I bond with a woman, I tend to evoke a kind of organic monogamy that does not require me to shut down to the universe.

    But it’s not the starting point; the starting point is: we share, we drink one another’s essence, see and feel the experience of other; experience life. I honor these values as a conscious act. I don’t stuff them when the time comes; I don’t pretend they don’t exist, or cheat myself. Sometimes it takes me a while to figure out that a woman is lying to someone else.

    I am figuring out how many games this basic set of values subverts.

    I am also figuring out how much sex it subverts. It is so rare that someone, knowing that I play all the cards face-up, is actually interested – and I don’t think it’s about sex per se. It’s that I strive to keep it honest, and I allow in actual feelings, recognition and sharing an experience; and despite the depth of that experience I am willing to admit that it’s not ‘permanent’. We don’t just shut down to the world; we remain available, independent and free. And you actually can ‘couple’ and bond loyally from there – it really is not only possible but exquisite fun.

    The form of sex I’ve found that can touch on most of these values is sharing masturbation; or if you prefer, sharing selflove-making. It’s like an energy check and a field to explore in: a field of reality where self is honored, where autonomy is honored, where individual experience is something real. We can have an experience but we don’t have to ‘merge’. From there it is certainly possible to explore other forms of contact, but I think that it’s clearer with this as a starting point. Also in an environment where we talk about ‘safer sex’, this is like a psychic version of the same thing – though this kind of sexual pleasure subtracting the risk of pregnancy, of disease and of over-bonding is something of an amazing treat.

    I love all forms of sex as much as ever. I will try anything new and reasonably safe at least three times. But I need to be available for myself, for my life, and for the people who count on me. I can speak of freedom because I walk the road, the forest, the journey: it’s not a story I’m making up. And my love of female sexual autonomy is growing stronger every day. I may be one of the few people on the planet who can get off on the fact that a woman is sexually free, and that she chooses. I am so wide open here that I am willing to be chosen, if the choice is honest and made freely.

  6. About 1.5 years ago, when I moved back to sf, there was a woman running around town in a wedding dress – she had married herself. I cannot find the article online that appeared in local rags, but here is a reference to an earlier event by a dutch person in 2003:

    absintheducrosfille.blogspot.com/2007/02/woman-marries-herself.html

    I also have not seen much written about women taking responsibility for the awesome job of raising children into people, women and men. I was at a conference in 2008 where women spoke about the abuse done to them by men, but no one (and I never got called upon when my hand went up, plus it wasn’t exactly appropriate timing as people do need a safe environment into which to express their hurt and grief) referenced the fact that MEN are raised mostly by women. That anger that comes out later via rape, hitting, control, jealousy started somewhere, you know? And, if it didn’t start via the boy’s mom, then maybe it started via the female partner’s responses to disowning herself which she might have learned from her mom.

    We all gotta get beyond US vs THEM, sexuality, politically, personally, emotionally, spiritually, soulfully, imho, though it is tough – that’s true too.

  7. 7Towers – it is true. When we are angry at the husband we take it out on the kids in very subtle ways. My mom resented the Catholic church for having 5 kids – like it was the church’s fault. I guess it was. Anyway, we’ve spent our entire adult lives wondering if we had our mother’s affection. Mom can damage the girls as much as the boys and yes it is easy for we women to abuse men. Too easy. So is the abusive father abusive because of his mom? His wife? I don’t know but we have it in our power to stop it. When the anger boils up, it helps to just say the words, ‘I forgive myself for feeling anger at —–. I forgive ——- for ———. It isn’t his fault.’ What follows can seem almost miraculous.

    It really is about loving yourself, and loving your neighbor (spouse, child, friends, neighbors, fellow countrymen, foreigners, etc). It’s even one of the ten commandments.

    It’s like loving the US President even when you disagree with him. It is important to send out loving thoughts and affirming words. We invite evil in with anger and hate. We have it in our power to banish anger and hate, in personal relationships as well as relationships in the world. I don’t know what happened in New York yesterday, but the shooter was absent self-love.

    Astrology can point out where we might have a few problems in life, but the problems are not set in concrete. We still have free will, which is largely tempered by our ability to love, or not.

  8. 7Towers – ‘Many times women use sex as a tool to punish, to manipulate and a mans need for sexual expression is seen as excessive for which they are shamed. I’m sure that this does cause anxiety about their ability to satisfy or if they are even desired by the woman in their life.

    Can anyone relate to what I am describing? I have come across very little written about this and I think it needs far more exposure if we are going to see healing happen.’

    I believe this is very possible!!! 🙂 Though I find it easier if I translate it as ‘some’ women and ‘some’ men do this or do that.

    And I reckon there’s a whole lot more that some women do to men (that men allow them to do) besides. I wrote about this – not in any way as eloquently as you have here – on a post at PW a month or so back, as it has been something I have become more and more aware of amongst the couples within my group of friends. I recognised that I had also been guilty of it previously.

    As part of the work I do, I am increasingly coming across men who reveal (in the course of time) the same or similar scenarios playing out in their relationships – wives, girlfriends, mistresses…mothers???! Bosses.

    I am still searching for great reading on this – anyone who has ideas here, welcome.

    As a slightly wayward addition, in my earlier life I was at the abusive end of some men, (some I knew, some strangers), sexually and psychologically. And it left me, for a while, somewhat skewed in my view of people, men, the world. Many years have gone by along with quite a bit of self-love, therapy, discovery, adventure, great friends, great love and lovers etc., and I do find it strange that I am now drawing to me ‘healing work’ with men who are being, (or have been) being abused by women…

    Hazel.

  9. Hey. You know, I avoid most comparisons of myself to Brezny, but in early 2001 I described a self-marriage ritual in Planet Waves; in an Aries horoscope — and then voila, that summer he appeared at Burning Man and married everyone to themselves. Personally, I would propose this as a much more daring ritual, and I’ve been suggesting that we directly involve one another on our journeys to selflove – that sets something free emotionally, spiritually, sexually, whatever. I would propose that you imagine just where this might ‘get embarrassing’ and that is exactly the place to go. What I’m getting at here is that what we think of as ‘sex’ and as ‘love’ have a whole different connotation when we get into the act of helping others be self-supporting; and involving others in our process of being self-supporting. This may seem like a contradiction, I know; but it’s actually just honest relating.

    In honor of marrying oneself and all that is involved, I would offer the Compersion series – It’s Not About Sex, It’s About Self – at http://compersion.org/

  10. And L: I really think you could be right when you say we women can be jealous about the fact that man have such a ‘right-on’ relationship with sex and sexuality. I know for myself that when I am not in love, having sex with someone is much more at ease and curious and focused on my own feelings too. It feels stronger. And coming with that focus I am much more able to really relate to the man I am with as the person he is or shows to me. For me it was very liberating to have sex in this way and to notice that I was not afraid that he didn’t like my body or my being. I became very curious about my own thoughts of relating and sex and self. So it really is simple: we have to love ourselves first and then relate. And if you think I get it now…no, I still make mistakes! (And if my words are not that clear or a bit ‘simple’, I am dutch so I don’t have the ability to fine-tune my words as much as you guys do: forgive me please!)
    Heleen

  11. “Marry yourself”, Rob Breszny wrote somewhere last week. Combined with this beautiful article and lots of reflection I am getting to the point to aks myself to marry me. I am almost there….and I feel the beat of my heart pounding.

  12. Hey Eric ,
    I have a great difficulty when I’m trying to convey my thoughts in written form having what I want to convey clearly understood . I usually can’t do this well but

    I’m going to give this a shot anyway…

    What I think has not been given enough exposure is the abuse done by women to the men in their lives in reaction to what is instilled by society.

    This abuse is of a more subtle form but none the less damaging to men. It too starts from the cradle and the onslaughts to their emotional nature come from many avenues. A large formitive facet coming from the mother with nurture being the primary weapon to manipulate for control. Growing up I think females learn and cultivate this weapon while the males adapt ways to protect themselves from it.
    The anger behind the abuse is not so obvious being weilded with finesse refined by a femine quality.

    It seems to me that females seem to vacillate between a clingy over emotional martyr stance to a complete withdrawl cutting off all nurture becoming emotionally vindictive using well placed language targeting the male masculinity negitively.

    Could it be jealous anger for the fact that men can detach emotionally more often then not what seems to be with ease.? This is interperted as being selfish and uncaring, but could it be we are too invasive , unable to let go give proper space? Could it also be that the insecurity which can never be obtained in a relationship cause women to interpert behaviors and things said by men irrationally, suscribing meanings that are so off base leaving men confused , completely at a loss as what to do.

    Many times women use sex as a tool to punish, to manipulate and a mans need for sexual expression is seen as excessive for which they are shamed. I’m sure that this does cause anxiety about their ability to satisfy or if they are even desired by the woman in their life.

    Can anyone relate to what I am describing? I have come across very little written about this and I think it needs far more exposure if we are going to see healing happen.
    L

  13. ‘Tis the management of change……………and in my experience….the multi tasking feminine energy has been to the summit too many times …for the singular….results driven….. masculine……. points scoring….. evolutionary hunter killer to complain!!

    I…as a male….can only strive to create an environment in which the female can genuinely flourish…..grow strong….confident…and mature……and then actually relate to the original in front of me….not the replica illustration created by media hype….!!

    If…….. the woman is also committed to such a path…………..enjoying every breath of the journey…….even when there is “trouble at mill…..” it is conceivable that there is a future….and the Sun will indeed rise tomorrow……

    There is no evidence to support the conclusion….only a stirring in my loins that I want to…….. pick her up…………. throw her on a camel………………and carry her off to a cave…in the mountains…………!!

    We are ….however….at this time……..in a McDonalds…..in a shopping mall in Liverpool …UK

    Where the f**k did I leave the camel….??

    PH

  14. I also think I am in the right track for this subject.
    I recently hurt my arm and the smallest movement hurted so much that I started to embrace the arm with the other one, to hold it with extreme care and love and protection, as if it was a broken wing. I felt a new sense of love that I had never felt before towards a part of me. And I felt all that love from the doctors too. I perceived like a world of love inside the ‘normal’ world, it was just enough to focus on it. It felt so good.
    Now the arm goes better, and in the last two days I’ve felt quite sad and miserable. Suddenly today I realized that I have never given to myself that kind of love, complete attention and extreme care that I experienced with my arm. I realized that I have never even started to really love myself in the deep sense of the word, that involves total acceptance and space for whatever is.
    I am 47, I am starting now.

  15. Wow, there’s a lot I have to say here….

    Over the years, and you have said it quite clearly. You are in alignment with the feminist. That I respect, so am I. Often I find myself in matters of ignorant patriarchal thought, wondering how anyone could possibly view their mindframes, with such ambition.

    This though, is where I fail. (I exist in a reality where all is equal, and all is allocated through equanimity.) Women, Men, it’s all cool.

    Don’t get me wrong, DIVISION is a fine substance/method when put to fine use….

    This is what it is, YOU, are the ONE who makes this reality what it is…..

    (Gender is a TRAP). I, You, don’t need it…. (ouch, those first head bonks suck, but…. if we continue on, with some awareness, we’ll get to a point where we are all EQUAL.) Huh, equal? Ouch!!! YES! EQUAL! Strange word, no?

    Equality is a concept no less a vision. THIS is where YOU come to mind.

    (YOU is all of us)

    I honestly don’t know what I just said, but I think it was cool…. I’m a male feminist so all the anti-male shit that flows through our reality has got to go… I’ll take up the cause for equanimity, I’ll be the dude who has a penis, AND still respects vulvas… Who, similarily to Eric, (although perhaps not in such an on my knees worshipping sense) (although, if agreed to beforehand can be an extremely righteous experience), works to make this lifetime’s environment the space that it needs to be in order to elicit the connections that all of us need in order to evolve throughout this realm.

    I just have to smile while rereading that last line.

    Wow, (do you ever find that when you say something that has gravity, it wears you out? I get so tired from words sometimes….)

    Love and all the good shit,

    Jere

  16. Interestingly enough, I went last night to a presentation by the co-author of ‘The Mother-Daughter Project’, Renee Schultz. The tagline reads: how mothers and daughters can band together, beat the odds and thrive through adolescence.

    This is a recipe for a mother-daughter support group, encouraging the mothers to first get together on their own and discuss their own experiences around sexuality, menstruation, violence against women, etc. After 6 months of Mom prep, the project brings in the daughters and provides guidance for the mother-daughter group to navigate all the issues surrounding the feminine.

    It was profound to see many of the moms in my community attend this event and encouraging to find guidance for raising girls with awareness.

    I feel that the current planetary feminine/masculine imbalance is at the root of many of the major problems facing humanity. It’s time for women to step into their power.

    Thanks Eric for encouraging everyone to find wholeness and balance inside themselves.

  17. I just can’t pass on commenting how “freaky” this article is to me; Eric mentioned specific “props” that have been in my own thoughts. Guess that means I am on the right track of introspection?

    For the past few days I have been reminiscing about my childhood…about “me” (my likes and dislikes and how I’ve tried to be aware and present with my own children and allow them to “be” because I wasn’t given that)…about major decisions I allowed others to make for myself (not that I “blame” them…I am the one that made the final decision).

    Most of these thoughts have been spinning around the core idea of who I am as person, daughter, wife (and ex-wife), mother, friend, and how these attributes/experiences started to layer around “me”

    I just started my monthly cycle yesterday…which made me think about my first menses at age 12 for some reason, which made me remember buying Our Bodies, Our Selves at age 13, going on the pill at 15, making the “grown-up” decision to eschew hormones at 16 and get a diaphragm instead, which led to being at a party that led to an unplanned overnight without having my diaphragm and my boyfriend begging, conjoling, pleading to have unprotected sex until I relented which resulted in an abortion at age 17. I could write a book about what happened next, but the decision to marry this person at 18 was where I diverged from my path for the first time in a major way.

    For me this article can be digested personally, and it gave me a wonderful feeling of synchronicity today, which I am grateful for. Thanks!

  18. I immediately thought of this aspect this morning when I heard on BBC radio about the new law they’re about to enact in Afghanistan that legalizes rape within marriage and only allows women to leave the house with their husband’s permission. I’m hoping that Pluto being in Capricorn now means that all the international pressure against this law will kill it in the end. I can’t even fathom how they even justify it; one of the major changes that Islam brought was giving women equality and property rights back in the 7th century.

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