What a week that was. They seem to be coming one after the next. I’m not writing about half of what I’m experiencing; the half I am writing about is enough for a couple of lives. Many years ago I had a dream that I was on a seashore, and the waves were coming in, bigger and closer. I knew this was a real threat. Off to the back somewhere, on high ground, were my two cats, Ling Ling and William Pen, and my file cabinet — they were all safe and dry. I was on the shore facing the raging sea. I knew that my cats and my files were safe, and I also felt confident that I was just fine where I was.
There is an old saying about there being no atheists in foxholes. We are gradually moving into an astrological dynamic that will recall the wisdom of this adage. By gradually, I mean during the next three years, as Saturn, Uranus and Pluto create a cardinal T-square on the Aries Point. We are close enough to be feeling and seeing the effects of this dynamic now. This came up in a brief email dialog with Rick Tarnas late this week about Kaila’s chart — her natal Saturn-Uranus conjunction, which is being activated now by the current Saturn-Uranus opposition. In 2007, Pluto went over the 1988 Sat/Ur conjunction, setting off an explosive dynamic for all of these 19 year old kids. They are 20 or 21 now and are still under the effects of this transit, because such powerful Pluto transits tend to be among what I call ‘threshold transits’ — they are gateways, rather than transient events; and they have aftershocks.
Here is Kaila’s chart, if you want to see it. From the chart is linked Friday’s full edition of Planet Waves Astrology News.
From one generation to the next, many of the configurations of Saturn and the outer planets change, so one generation is clueless what is happening to the next generation or two, unless somebody asks an astrologer and the astrologer is familiar with some outer planet theory. (I got lucky, because my early teachers [particularly David Arner and Laurie Burnett] were very good at this, and I discovered Rick Tarnas’s writing in 1995, one year after Laurie turned me onto Chiron.)
I would say that to those who want to make helpful use of astrology, to understand Saturn and the outer planets it helps a lot to get an understanding of Chiron. That is a key to opening up Saturn and making the energetic qualities outer planets directly accessible. It’s not entirely necessary — some astrologers do well without it. But Chiron is a potent utility that serves like an interface between ‘normal consciousness’ and the transformative energies of the outer planets, which most people simply do not grasp. That is why they are simply experienced as disruptive or devastating forces; and it’s one picture of why some people appear to have no clue about the deeper levels of consciousness available to their own minds.
This would appear to be one definition of a ‘spiritually aware’ person. Not just ethically aware (which helps a lot), but energetically aware, and dimensionally aware. This is not about having hunches and it’s not about being perfect (Chiron is far from that). It’s about having access to healing energy when you call on it.
One question is how Spirit manifests for everyone; for each of us as an individual, and for us in relationship to one another. We are going to need new sources of strength other than the ones we have, or think we have. This will be happening during a time when we will be (and in fact are) witnessing a good bit of unnecessary desperation — and more than a good bit of confusion. Actually, my sense is that quite a few people are at the snapping point right now and I’ll say this; if you’re one of them and you don’t want to snap, I suggest you get yourself to a new level. There are a lot of other, less-dense altitudes to fly at than the ones that are jammed up exclusively by fear and its first cousin, hope.
So yes in my view we have a serious spiritual issue, and we also have an emotional/biological one. That would be this thing commonly referred to as sex; which is the cosmic creative process. Anything that can spontaneously shuffle the DNA and make a human being would qualify as cosmic and creative. And it would have many other powers as well, and most of the time I think we tend to either play with them like a game of Russian roulette beside a bottle of cheap vodka; or we go into denial. Anyone who tells you that sex or your sexuality is bad is (in my view) evil by definition, because that is a self-destructive concept to plant in someones head. It can take many subtle forms, including programming people to be ignorant; and teaching them things that are subjective values as if they were incontrovertible truths.
I was just flipping through some TV channels a little while ago and ended up on the Mega Nanny show; about this British chick coming to stay with an American family teaching them how to be great parents. There was a sex ed scene for a teenage boy, wherein they give him the STD and pregnancy lecture as he slumped in his chair and admitted he could get a girl pregnant or catch a really bad disease; fair enough; and then a lecture about how he had to save himself for someone who really, really mattered. That the first sex he had needed to be “special” and with someone special.
I wonder, would anyone except for me question the wisdom of that instruction? Once we lose the ability to play in our own biology; to explore our feelings for their own sake; once we set the admonition of “importance” on eroticism in young people or in anyone, we deny that there is a vast universe between the two extremes of piety and MTV. We could say to this boy something like, “Sex is a conducting medium for many feelings and it opens doorways to things you’re not expecting. Here’s a few ideas for how to handle the feelings when they come up. Sex can create attachment to people you don’t really know and it can divide you from people you think you do know.”
When we subtract the full spectrum, the rigidity and bipolarity basically puts us at war with existence and with ourselves, sets up false expectations and either mystifies or profanes something that is perfectly natural. And yes, cosmically creative, just like we are, when we notice.
And when we don’t — that’s when the creative force can go dark.
“That would be this thing commonly referred to as sex; which is the cosmic creative process.”
Sex, the cosmic creative process….wow, hitting the nail on the head with this one Eric.
As I watched the development of our cosmos, it was shown to me that usually it is a process of mitosis that creates a universe. Not so with the one we live in. It was a sexual union of two separate creations. It caused kundalini energy and DNA to enter this space, separate from our consciousness…. the separation of mind of god, in mathmatical code, from the body of consciousness that we were.
What we are dealing with now is unraveling incredible delusion of ancient times. Such darkness, that I constantly erase from memory as it projected unto the surfaces of the celestial bodies, has created unimaginable variety of frequency color and harmonics.
Sex is a coveted cosmic creative process, very special to my heart.
First encounter with sex was when I was a child. In Holland we call it ‘playing doctor’, do you have the same expression for it? Such a natural thing to do really, but it still felt kind of ‘oh boy, what if someones sees us’. Sex is all about curiosity I guess, being curious about intimacy and that sense of yammie. It’s an adventure in the dark room of intimacy. Rules have made this curiosity, about relating with ourselves and others, less than natural. I hate that, I really do. I really hate the fact that because of these stupid rules my (and others’) curiosity can hurt others. It is not the curiosity that hurts tough, it’s those stupid rules. Rules that force us to relate in a correct way, because in that way we show respect. ???!!! I very much doubt the respectfulness when we have to live that respect in a non-transparant way. Living a lie is the most disrespectful thing to do with life itself, with ourselves and with others. I exist and I am curious. Curiosity brings me to learning, understanding, emerging. I am curious, so I relate and in the relating I have sex. Because that brings me to intimacy. The more curious I am, the more intimate I get. It’s not easy, but you have to admit: it really is stimulating!
Well I am coming back to this one…………….!!
Being human…..a human being…..what is all that about…….!!
Sex…..Procreation…..or Lust….? Taurus or Scorpio……? Condom or Barebacked…….?
What exactly is all this about….?
Lets suppose for just one teeny weeny minute that we breathe…….primal drive…….air intake…….life support……..lung capacity……….”Exhale”……..great piece of music…… Whitney Houston….!!
So ….the debate about “Love”…is actually complete b******s…… Loving is a word that describes what we actually do…… when we breathe…. we love…. psychic and physical descriptions of the same experience…….!!
Cogito Ergo Sum….(thankyou Mr. Descartes….)
When I am having sex…..doing sex…..experiencing sex……am I positive…. giving …. sharing……..understanding that this experience is called …..”making love….” because that is exactly what I am doing……..??
Or am I simply masturbating….giving nothing…..locked out of my experience …..sharing zilch…..and allowing a logical….albeit psychotic thought process to ruin what should be an all embracing emotional and spiritual experience…..!!
We are already in pole position so to speak……it is only our doubts and fears that renders us anything less than the way we already are supposed to be……!!
I sat in a bar in Dublin ….one night….. many years ago…..and after copious amounts of Guinness….noticed a flashing neon sign ….outside on the wall….!!
“You are perfect….just the way you are…….”
If you start believing…….accepting the “here and now”……and communicate with your partner…..that you are completely involved in the “now”…
You might find…to quote….from “Let It Bleed…” Gospel choir and all samples…… that “You get what you need…..!!!”
In a nutshell…..we are wired to be ….and do….all of the things that we seem to have difficulty doing……!!
We have difficulty doing them….because we are bombarded by the media….who focus on the difficulties…….!!
So we then spend our time focussing on the difficulties and our failures….self fulfilling prophecies…….and play right into the hands of the Salesmen with the cure….!!
And then it really does get worse……!!
True story……
I was at Island Records one night in 1976/7 and caught Mick Jagger …looking at me…the way I always thought I would be looking at him…….. now that is a wake up call…..!! Staring…as if to say….who the fuck is that….?? I still question the validity of that mornings’ experience….!!
Imagine you get up one morning…..go round the corner to Mcdonalds….and there sitting opposte …as you eat…is your one time childhood hero…. role model……dream fuck….etc…..
And you finally realise…….as George Michael once said……..that a star is what you DID NOT have as a child……..ie…love….and affection……!!
Most famous people will actually admit that they do it for the applause….the sense of belonging….when they are being loved by an audience…..!!!
Is that what you do when you have sex….?
Or are you contributing to the planetary wave….??
Making Love….???
PH
oops – I meant Peter Sellers was a Pisces, but I would have loved Peter O’Toole as much! My bad.
Oh yeah… if you are reading from the Central Texas area, please feel free to drop by Central Market (the one near Lamar and 42nd) around 7. We’ll be the merriment on the left side of the deck. (Bobosattvas Party!) I’m the one with the green hair, jeans, black shirt – possibly covered with hummus. Introduce yourself!
oh, and did i mention that the salsa teacher is a pisces? any insight on that?
wow… yeah. eric, i appreciate your latest post in response to neisha’s question as much as the original essay. it brings up a lot, which i don’t really have time to dive into right now & fully figure out.
but that edict of needing to “wait for someone special”… it reminds me of a conversation in a loud club a few months ago with the salsa teacher i’ve been hot for… the conversation started out rather casual and irreverent about how the renovations to the club’s bathrooms would no longer allow for sex, and he’s had sex in both; i forget what flip comment i made next. then out of nowhere he comments that “sex should at least be special.” it threw me; all of a sudden he’d gotten all serious & introspective, and i wanted to somehow explain that sex is *always* very special for me, but that putting it on a pedestal does not help; that i’m in a process of reclaiming a level of freedom and function that had been lost to me for a long time, so really any time sex “works” and i can connect with someone, it is very meaningful to me with or without feeling “in love” or having a “special” relationship. but i don’t change gears that fast sometimes, and trying to shout all this into his ear seemed futile and destined to miss the mark.
and it reminds me of just a few weeks ago, trying to explain to my mom some of the stuff in my chart pointing to my taking on of her fears, etc, regarding sex & relationships, and her response was, “well, yes — i did teach you to guard your reputation like all good mothers do.” UGH!!! at that moment, i didn’t have the energy to try and explain why that very notion of women *having* to “guard their reputations” was so infuriating to me; i don’t think i had the words that she needed to wrap her head around why that whole assumption is misguided b/c it’s so a product of centuries of patriarchal control & socialization… *sigh* we women really are so stretched… or are we compressed?… between poles of seeming impossibility when it comes to experiencing and expressing ourselves as whole beings.
and lastly, this thread seems to confirm that it really is ok that for the last three or four days, i have wanted nothing more than to randomly grab my cast-mate in the play i’m in, make out with him with full primal force, and take him home and fuck him. i’m not looking for romance. i’m not looking for him to be my “boyfriend.” and i’m not lacking other “options” for sex. i am quite sure there are hormones at play here. i like him, i am not in love with him, i love the theater we are creating together, and i hold the connection i have with people i act with on stage to be just as important and special as the connection with the people i have sex with — just not necessarily “Special” with a capital “S.” and i guess i’m curious to see if i have the guts to follow through on my urge, or whether i’ll chicken out due to fears of “messing up” our stage rapport… or worse, fear that my old arousal dysfunction will rear its head again.
yikes… gotta run & go over my lines so that last night’s dream of discovering, an hour before showtime, whole pages of script i’ve never seen before does not feel like it’s coming true. then again, the director in the dream said, “i love it when actors fly by the seat of their pants; it feels so ALIVE!” 🙂
here’s to staying present and open to the moment…
Yeah… Jere “”Still, I feel alone. Not that I don’t know you are there or anything, it’s beyond evident in any capacity. Just, I know, this is my trip. You cats are some of the coolest that ever floated this realm. I respect that (sorry to gush),””
No gush, all appreciation.
Yeah, I get the isolation… I am organizing, preparing and cooking for two parties –this weekend and next– that are centered around ecstatic awareness. One –today’s– is about art and poetry (and we just happened to have lucked into the Djembabes as our music – an all-girl drumming group); next week is the opening of an ecstatic improv dance studio. Both are going to be mob scenes.
Both are consciously gathered in to get ready for this shift we all see coming. Find your neighbors! They are not just here in PW, they are all around you! Look especially at the edges of your art scene.
And I am working 50 hour conventional workspace, still writing Tantra for Bobos, doing Kaila’s bardo practice as well as watching closely what the New Moon delivered, while trying to shape an apologia for Meeting the Girl in the Bone Bikini. Busy? Oh that was about three levels ago…
(The good part is that I have moved my office into the kitchen. So I can read and stir at the same time)
This is not a time for filter-feeding, Jere… you’ll need to put out a little zazu, but we’re here…
Love,
m
Ahhhh Pisces in Love…..that’s it – the key to the mystery of life. I remember reading once that Peter O’Toole’s (famous Pisces) leading ladies always fell head over heels with him because he paid them the very sincere compliment of falling ln love with each and every one, however briefly it would last.
I asked Neisha to rephrase her question below. She wrote:
“So, how did you come to question the opposition between playing with our own biology and the stereotypical expectation that sex should be a ‘special’ experience?”
I replied:
Sex is about more for me than playing with my biology, but that is an essential aspect of it. I think that women who deny the biological element are going to get pregnant and wonder how it happened.
To me, sex is inherently relational and self-relational. I experience someone I’m with on every level, and I experience myself on every level too. More and more, I find it strange that people just don’t get it…that sex can be this thing they call “spiritual.” But how can connecting with a person not be “spiritual”? Well, if you don’t connect…if you use that person and don’t say that’s what you’re doing…if you have no regard for yourself and spread that poison to them.
The question of a polarity kept being blown back into my face in the form of either women reverting into jealous/controlling/possessing mode like a gag reflex, almost any time we had sex where feelings were involved; and not being able to grasp my need to remain open despite our encounter. In turn, I would feel enormously guilty for wanting to be open, because it seemed to threaten this thing that was supposedly “more precious” — the “guarantee” of exclusivity. There are so few cultural templates that affirm the need for freedom, without calling it sleazy or disrespectful in the same breath, that we can hardly name one.
And I would immediately feel smothered, which would provoke my need for freedom. So I began to question that feeling of being smothered and the presumption that jealousy is somehow sacred and/or the goal of all relating. I began to notice that this was about what I felt and thought more than about what I did — since when I am with a partner, I tend to be monogamous. But my mind and my feelings and my senses want to remain free; for me, monogamy is about freedom.
I began to find the guilt unbearable, and I began to question that. Finally I figured out that the only sex that someone could not make wrong is the sex that I have with myself. And at the same time, I found out how much of what people think of as sex is really about using another person to masturbate, but their guilt is assuaged because that other person is there. I discovered that this threw a veil over a vast erotic territory where sex, masturbation, fantasy and desire all merge, and merge with shame, guilt, embarrassment and many other shadow feelings. The thing with sex is, it can all come up; anything can come up. It’s never cut and dried; well, there’s always prostitution, which is about as cut and dried as sex gets.
In the past five or so years, the dynamic started to shift, and I met partners who wanted the sex to be “just sex” and did not appreciate that I get emotionally involved when I experience sex. So, a little reversal of the perceived roles.
Going back to the substance of your question, sex in any form is always a special feeling for me, and like your mom, I have loved everyone I’ve ever had any form of sex with, if only in that moment. Sex is a vector. We have a choice in the matter of what we want to spread; whether we want to give, take, create, or whatever.
By defining some relationships as relationships and some as something else, we create a false division. This whole experience we are in is relational. There are many people who will read this who I have never met, never talked to, never heard from — and I am aware that I am relating to you, speaking directly to you.
I still find it confusing that more women do not share this sense of universal embrace; that they still play divide and conquer against themselves, and that so few do not figure out how much they have to share, what pleasure they can bestow, receive or exchange. But it may be this privilege or sense of what they have has deliberately been taken from them; we do, after all, live under patriarchy at the moment. And that is neither friendly to women nor to sex. And in the end, we all lose.
I know the enormous social pressure to seem good and pure. As you said to me once Neisha, women are good at denying themselves what they want. This is about guilt, shame and false pride. I felt enough of these things to know they were making me sick and denying my ability to love, create and relate.
This is from Neisha, by email. She’s the subject of a series of photos and articles on the current thread at book of blue (a few down from Ms Kaila)
My Mom once told me that everyone she ever had sex with, she loved. Each one was special.
After reading the newest blog, I realized something, I was never told that the first person I had sex with had to be special. In fact, I was jokingly told that I was the family outcast because I, very much actually, wanted to be the person who did only have sex with people I thought were “special” (and for the most part my sister and my mother say that I failed in perpetuating the family HO legacy, hahaha). And you know what that did….
It caused me to force the “special” concept on the people I’ve slept with. Some of which were definitely not, at all, special. But I do notice that, for a woman especially, as I do not see this in men, sex is so multi-leveled that even sex with a person we aren’t in love with is a special feeling.
I am really interested in exploring this thing that I am seeing; the idea of playing in our own biology. I think that women may see it as more of a “playing in our own emotions” sort of thing. And are these similar concepts being described by two, masculine and feminine, different perspectives? Is this why we think the sexes are so different?
I mention this because, even with all the sexual restriction I’ve put on myself, I see even the masturbation experiences with you are emotionally revealing experiences for me, they are pushing me to look at myself.
Sooo, where within you did your expressed views on those ideas come from (playing with our own biology vs. sex being the stereotypical “special” experience), as I am seriously into knowing what internal drive brings you to those conclusions….
Sorry for the heady thought process, I think this may have been spurred on by my sex and gender class… :)))
Rick suggests such a positive self-motivated “to be”,…I’m with ya on that one. I already understand it’s the language, (also the take on the language, that holds consequence…). Also the way in which one grasps, and handles that language. All one in the same. I, as well as many others are ready to accept the rite of responsibility, and physically ground myself in the worlds of creativity and classical dialogue. (Not much I dig more than an historian, and an artist, kickin’ it together, shootin’ the ether.)
Still, I feel alone. Not that I don’t know you are there or anything, it’s beyond evident in any capacity. Just, I know, this is my trip. You cats are some of the coolest that ever floated this realm. I respect that (sorry to gush), I get over the shit in nanoseconds.
There seems to be this disconnection on the realm of connection (if that isn’t totally ridiculously redundant), that creates an atmosphere of disconnection (owww, I’m hurting myself with laughter), that allows us to flow into the channels of disconnection. (I hope that was as hillarious for you…).
Eric, you know what you’re doing.
We’re all points in the continuum, (have a fine point, YOU ARE! o.k.?)
Thanks for the mirrors,
Jere
Wow, yeah. I would like to question that advice as well, especially considering he is “slumping” … not a good position to be in for muscle memory, to associate with his sexuality, organs unable to breathe fully. And they didn’t ask him anything, so, already his sexuality is defined from without!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey…
This is one of the most strategically-helpful things you’ve written for a while. I’ll be passing it to my cohort.
Kaila’s transition has proved to be bigger, much more complicated than I had originally expected. Still working it, but there is so much else going on that I had to create a sub-routine and assign the Bardo practice to it. All is well, just immense.
Thanks for the bit (which I’ll absorb on the fly) about the outer planets. This has been in my ‘N’ box for a while. Last night dreamed that I was helping an astronomer open a portal between the merc/venus orbit and the sun – that is, an sub-solar gate that sets things up for this galactic gate that is starting to yawn.
Big doin’s, darlings. Sleep well, eat well, fuck well, and look for the waltz rhythm under the jitterbug. It’ll all fit, just think about layers instead of lines.
Lovelove,
m
Via email from Richard Tarnas. This is like a concentrated dose of Cosmos and Psyche.
====
I think many astrologers don’t realize that the T-square, though it’s certainly building, as you rightly put it, has already begun. The UR-PL square first moved within 10 degrees two years ago, and all the characteristic UR-PL themes — which were only starting to surface in the year beforehand, in France for example — have been strongly in evidence since then: the overwhelming collective impulse to reform and transform the world, make it new, political activation of youth (2008 campaign), empowerment of minorities and civil rights impulses (Obama’s election), empowerment of women (Hillary’s campaign), activation of ecological movements, the voice of nature and the earth, renewal of the sexual revolution, intensification of populism, intensified artistic creativity, scientific and technological advance intensifying, manned space exploration, widespread recognition of the 1960s as archetypally connected to the present time, social-political turmoil and chaotic lawlessness (piracy off Africa, drug cartel war in Mexico), sense of things potentially spinning wildly out of control, etc. etc. The SA-UR of course is very tight with its litany of classic themes happening in every headline, from economic collapses to airplane and satellite accidents to the old vs. new/young, right-wing maverick vs. cautious progressive dialectic of the campaign, to the present general ambience of crisis management. But without the UR-PL present, we wouldn’t be seeing the volcanic pressure and danger driving and intensifying all the SA-UR phenomena. The SA-PL square first moved within 10 degrees in the past half-year — again, the characteristic intensification of the Cold War (Russia, Putin) and the Israeli-Palestine conflict is evident, among other signs. We’re basically in about 1930 in the SA-UR-PL trajectory, but the nice thing is that this time Obama has come about three years earlier in the process than FDR did, and with a lot more collective knowledge and experience to draw on.
It’s just a matter of time before the serious astrological research community fully recognizes the 15-20 orb for the axial outer-planet world transit alignments and the 10-15 degree orb for the squares. The enormous body of evidence is pretty unambiguous. It’s just a matter of opening the paradigm’s vision; otherwise, the correlating data escapes the observer’s purview. The contributors to the Archai Journal will be exploring this paradigm in the coming issues.
Got to run . . . I have to give a five-hour lecture seminar on Nietzsche tomorrow, at the SF Jung Institute.
Rick
These paragraphs are indeed as close to anything that I have ever read…..that so succintly describes the point at which our creative juice is manifest in light…….or indeed …can go dark!!
“Saving yourself for someone special”……..is simply challenging the self to either recognise that we are all sacred….Gods’ children……and spiritually active……..and indeed very very special …….or alternatively caving in to the weight of a sack of rocks around the neck…….poor self esteem…… addictions……. media mood elevators…..et al……. and thus using oneself and others for destructive purposes.
We all really matter……we all are someone special…..the problem is that each of us as individuals does not necessarily have the equipment to feel such joy!
I guess …we 1960s teenagers were a whole lot luckier than we ever realised at the time!
Steven Stills “Love the One you’re With”… comes to mind ! We felt a moral duty to our cause ….to explore our sexuality with loving…….and sensuality…….while freeing ourselves of all of the binding hands of our parents “war generation”….!!
The imperative was to commune as free spirits…….and wandering souls……and sex became the supreme way of communicating a “higher spiritual principle”…!
How we understood the necessity to confront our serious spiritual issues…… I guess the fact we all tuned in….turned on….and dropped out …..of the hype ridden game being played out now in new media circles…… gave us the space and time to assimilate the true meaning of our formative years…!!
We …as PW readers ….know well the effects of a suppressed sexuality……Wilhelm Reich has appeared regularly…….but the stroke of a feather can be more devastating than an explosion of ordnance…!!
To tell an adolescent….on the verge of their most exciting exploratory years……to wait for someone special…….is basically telling them that they are not special…..that they should hang around while mixing with all the other unspecial ones…..and finally succumb to their wildest pleasure….while reeling under the weight of 100 tons of guilt..!!
That is the gateway to Armageddon….World War….Terrorism….Fascism….Social Dysfunction et al…..
Marvin Gaye …..on the other hand…….!!
“Lets get it on……”
That one really did tick all of the boxes Eric….
Nice one….!!
PH