I’ve been enjoying comp subscriptions to Planet Waves for a while now and this afternoon I am happy to say I am sending you the full price for a year’s subscription. I am so glad to be able to do this and think it is cheap at the price. Heretofore I have just not had the ‘extra’. Planet Waves makes a huge difference in my life and helps me feel I can make a difference in the world, no matter how stuck we still seem to be. I am delighted to be able to do a little bit to support this. The combination of clear astrology, clear-eyed global news, and warm-hearted attitudes is unlike much else out there, and I think quite powerful in its own quiet way. –Kyla

Dear Friend and Reader:

We are approaching the Cancer New Moon and Mercury exiting shadow phase. Here are some of the week’s highlights. Check this entry a few more times — I will be adding additional highlights.

Make no mistake, we are still unwinding the effects of the recent Mercury retrograde, which is still working itself out for a few more days. Even though Mercury is direct, it is re-crossing the degrees where it was retrograde, stirring up so much uncertainty. In a sense, uncertainty is the perfect remedy for “stuck.” And stuck — in patterns, or in holding patterns — is one of the themes of our time.

This week the Cancer New Moon, and the current position of the Moon in Gemini (extreme waning phase) is calling on us to wrap up the emotional business of the past few months and move on into new territory.

30 Monday: Moon enters Gemini at 3 am EDT. Sun sesquiquadrate Neptune. Mars trines Pluto. Vesta enters Taurus today, heading straight for the Chiron discovery degree at 3+ Taurus. Genevieve offers this interpretation of today’s astrology:

This may be a time where you find it very easy to say exactly what is on your mind. However, be aware of the possibility that you may be projecting onto other people what is really something that is going on inside of you. No one can make you feel obligated to do something, until you agree to let them do it to you. This is what is called devoted procrastination as far as letting other people find distractions for you. It is also very possible at this time to come into contact with deep seated feelings of alienation. But with the Moon where it is, gathering the Shadows around it and settling in for a long, deep darkness in Cancer, now is one of the best times to reflect upon the darker side of your own mind/soul, and see what that person inside of you has to say. You have as much to say to the world around you as that inner person has to say about you.

1 Tuesday: Mars enters Virgo. The second sign change of Mars since the retrograde of last winter. Mercury opposes Juno.

Mars has trined Pluto, a palpable aspect in itself, before changing signs. For the next couple of months, everything that changes signs will aspect Pluto first, giving even ordinary planetary sign changes a feeling of deep transformation each time they occur.

2 Wednesday: Moon enters Cancer at 3:35 am EDT, crossing the Aries Point. After making a conjunction to Ceres, it then makes a conjunction to the Sun (this is the Cancer New Moon) at 10:19 pm. Moon is at the slowest right now as well (most distant from Earth), adding to the introspective feeling of the New Moon.

Genevieve writes: The Moon is at its slowest during this aspect. As with all New Moons, this is an invaluable time to take a step back from pushing ahead with your plans, and leave the space open for new ones to announce themselves. Since this is a Cancer Moon, the energy is fertile, comforting, and tender. You may find this is a good time to address goals that you have for getting your mentality in an order that is more suitable for your dreams. It is often the case that we are our own worst enemies. The New Moon in Cancer, conjunct the Sun in the same sign is a good place to be with these emotions. Does fear sometimes get the best of you? Do you feel like you are being used? Use this current aspect to navigate the roots of the matter.

3 Thursday: Psyche stations direct (11+ Scorpio). Psyche has been retrograde for most of the year, and that feels like heavy going in Scorpio. It’s nice that she goes direct the same time as Mercury leaves shadow phase, as this should offer some additional relief and the ability to look outward, past our own sense of personal lack, loss, injury or an obsessive focus on a ‘missing piece’. Most of us associate Mercury with our psyche. The two are closely related, though Psyche is an experience more than idea.

4 Friday: Moon enters Leo 4:15 am EDT. Mercury sextile Eris. Sextiles are said to be aspects of balance. Triangles are stable, and when you impose two on one another (such as the Star of David) you get an exceptionally stable structure. The number six is about pleasure, reaching the center, feeling the core of existence; it is about reaching the place (in mysticism called Kether) where all roads lead and from which all roads emanate.

5 Saturday: Mercury (22+ Gemini) square Uranus (22+ Pisces Rx). I am declaring the Mercury shadow phase over with this aspect. There is a ’stunning revelation’ associated with this aspect, which has been long and slow in the tease. This is because just prior to stationing retrograde, Mercury approached the exact square to Uranus, then backed off and in a sense made us go through some vast process of preparation before coming back to this place two months later.

6 Sunday: Mercury trine Neptune. Venus trine Uranus. This is a magnificent release into the future — a gateway to the future; to imagining and inventing what is possible.

Yours & truly,

Monday 30 June 2008

Sun (8+ Cancer) trine Pandora (8+ Scorpio)
Amor (23+ Taurus) square Neptune (23+ Aquarius Rx)
Vesta enters Taurus (direct)
Mars (29+ Leo) semisquare Atlantis (14+ Libra)
Sun (8+ Cancer) sesquiquadrate Neptune (23+ Aquarius Rx)
Mercury (17+ Gemini) opposite Quaoar (17+ Sagittarius Rx)
Sun (9+ Cancer) semisquare Amor (24+ Taurus)
Eros (17+ Cancer) quincunx Quaoar (17+ Sagittarius Rx)
Mars (29+ Leo) trine Pluto (29+ Sagittarius Rx)

Today’s Oracle takes us to Mar 01, 2006 - Aries - Monthly

Make sure the women in your life are happy, particularly those you class as friends rather than lovers. It is true that you have many of your own changes in progress, but a lot of those involve redefining the role you play in the lives of others. You have plenty of emotional capacity and a distinctly healing vibe going in your home, and you can be generous with invitations. You’d be surprised what a friendly ear and a lovingly prepared meal can do for someone who is struggling with feelings they can’t quite express. Listen with your heart as well as your ears.

I just renewed my subscription to your wonderful site…best bang for MY hard earned buck!! I wanted you to know that I consider you one of the most brilliant, evocative writers of our times. You have an uncanny ability to put your finger exactly on what is happening in these times of ours and are blessed with the gift of putting it out there, exactly as it is. You guide my life each day and make me feel that I am a contributing part of society, simply because your insights are clear, concise and you are NOT afraid to speak the TRUTH!

Dear Friend and Reader:

Today, we have a guest writer, Eric’s astrology assistant Genevive Salerno, who covers Uranus stationing retrograde in Pisces, and Jupiter semisquare Saturn; two minor aspects from today and Thursday.

Uranus stations retrograde; Jupiter semisquare Saturn

This is an excellent time to look within yourself for problems that arise from your conditioning. There is a part of you that longs to be free, to break away from everything that you know, but at the same time, you are very attached to the map that your past experiences have drawn out for you. Do not get fear confused with caution or intuition with neurosis. There is a way to blend tradition with originality. If the wheel has already been invented, which it has, perhaps you should make it new again, but turning it on its side.

Yours and truly,
Genevive

Friday 27 June 2008

Uranus stations retrograde (22+ Pisces)
Sun (5+ Cancer) quintile 1992 QB1 (23+ Aries)
Eros (14+ Cancer) quincunx Nessus (14+ Aquarius Rx)
Eros (14+ Cancer) quincunx Great Attractor (14+ Sagittarius)
Mercury (15+ Gemini) septile 1992 QB1 (23+ Aries)
Mars (27+ Leo) sextile Hades (27+ Gemini)
Sun (5+ Cancer) septile Mars (27+ Leo)
Venus (10+ Cancer) quintile Vesta (28+ Aries)
Sun (6+ Cancer) semisquare Sedna (21+ Taurus)
Eros (14+ Cancer) septile Amor (22+ Taurus)
Apollo (13+ Leo) trine Ixion (13+ Sagittarius Rx)
Vesta (29+ Aries) sesquiquadrate Great Attractor (14+ Sagittarius)
Ceres (6+ Cancer) septile Orcus (28+ Leo)
Juno (18+ Sagittarius Rx) quincunx Varuna (18+ Cancer)
Sun (6+ Cancer) trine Hidalgo (6+ Scorpio Rx)
Venus (11+ Cancer) trine Psyche (11+ Scorpio Rx)
Chariklo (5+ Scorpio Rx) septile Galactic Center (26+ Sagittarius)

Today’s Oracle takes us to Mar 09, 2007 - TAURUS - Weekly

You have so much going on internally and at the same time you’ve never been more visible. The gap between the interior you, and the one that people perceive, may never have seemed to be more obviously separate. They are not separate, however; perception tends to divide things into categories, and the body’s eyes do not see the interior world. Yet in an odd way, the outer world reflects the interior, and you can at the moment make this a conscious process: of feeling, looking, seeing and weaving the layers together.

Dear Friend and Reader:

We received several responses to yesterday’s edition. Please feel free to send yours to editorial (at) planetwaves.net.

Dear Planet Waves,

My name is O. and I have been reading Planet Waves for maybe 8 months or so, and yesterday’s article was particularly interesting to me, touching as it did on some of the sex and self topics. I am a deeply, widely sexual person, and pretty comfortable that way. Open would be more or less fair in describing me, but I just don’t care about masturbation at all.

I have gotten myself off plenty, with others and alone, and while definitely a skill worth having, I just find sex with myself dull. So much of the pleasure involved in sex, to me, is all about exploring the other, and the self through the other. I am not especially given to fantasy, nor do I have much in the way of guilt, and I do think these can be related.

I am rarely jealous, though I can be, like everything else it depends on how much you feel you have to lose, and how long it takes you to remember that everyone loses everything anyway, or, put another way, that you never “had” anything in the first place.

Masturbation seems so central to so much of your thoughts on sexuality, and as a part of self acceptance I do think this is key, but I wonder, in your thinking, if there is room for the idea that although masturbation with others can be a way to share yourself as you are, for some people, it just might be way more hot to focus on what together you might become.

Be well,
O.

Dear Planet Waves,

You articles on defining “queerness” and more importantly on relationships was awesome. Redefining monogamy and self-love are essential if one is to grow and truly enjoy being with partners. Bringing up how other primates (mainly bonobos) relate sexually is a great point. We humans tend to forget WE ARE PRIMATES as well. Bonobos also use sex to resolve conflict, reduce the tensions that lead to battles, and also to show love and affection. Great work, Eric Francis and Dani Katz!

Christine

Dear Planet Waves,

I SO agree with you about masturbation. I discovered it at the tender age of 43, after my boyfriend left me. I saw long, desert years ahead, with no sex - so I thought I’d better do something about it, and started teaching myself to masturbate. It was a life changing experience, the feeling that not only could I support myself economically, but I was also autonomous in my ability to give myself sexual satisfaction. It’s made me less vulnerable to desire and yukky relationships with men.

Much as I find women amazing, and have some extremely close women friends, I love male bodies, and also their company. The trouble is there are a lot of wanky men out there! Anyway as the song goes: “I’ve got my masturbation to keep me warm!”

By the way - am still single 4 years on - and doing ok.

Thanks for everything.

Warmest wishes,
L.

Dear Planet Waves,

Yeah, I’m with you on much of what you write on the sexuality factor. Men are my primary orientation but have enjoyed another female or two experience along with my male partner of the time. It was delighful to share that with him. Honesty is a sadly lacking factor in most marriages, even when lots of love exists; I suspect this missing piece in regards to sex with another is partially responsible for holding back the progress of society.

Wow, I just wrote a big statement but I’d be willing to wager it as truth.

Have to run to work…

Best and truly,
L.

Thursday 26 June 2008

Mars (26+ Leo) quintile Pandora (8+ Scorpio Rx)
Apollo (12+ Leo) septile Arachne (3+ Libra)
Eros (13+ Cancer) quincunx Ixion (13+ Sagittarius Rx)
Eros (13+ Cancer) semisquare Orcus (28+ Leo)
Jupiter (19+ Capricorn Rx) sesquiquadrate Saturn (4+ Virgo)
Amor (22+ Taurus) sextile Uranus (22+ Pisces)
Eros (13+ Cancer) square Atlantis (13+ Libra)
Mars (26+ Leo) trine Galactic Center (26+ Sagittarius)
Venus (10+ Cancer) semisquare Admetos (25+ Taurus)
Sun (5+ Cancer) trine Chariklo (5+ Scorpio Rx)
Ceres (6+ Cancer) trine Hidalgo (6+ Scorpio Rx)
Sun (5+ Cancer) sesquiquadrate Chiron (20+ Aquarius Rx)
Pallas (15 Taurus) semisquare Aries Point (0 Aries)

Today’s Oracle takes us to Jan 07, 2000 - GEMINI - Weekly

All you need to do is push gently and the walls and structures that seem to surround you will fall away like they never existed. Beyond these boundaries, which are really the shadows, conceptual frameworks and limits of the past, and those of the people who influenced you over the years, you are nicely set up to find something, or someone, very new. But as it turns out, although the past is over, we have the power to keep it alive in our minds and emotions, so the ultimate responsibility for finding the present rests upon your own power of decision, your own recognition of what you now want, and most important, your choice to be aware of who is in your environment at this moment, and to appreciate them fully.

Dear Friend and Reader:

YESTERDAY we brought up the topic of queer, which is actually not a new topic for Planet Waves; we just don’t usually call it that. Queer means different, and it’s not that difficult to be different when it comes to sex. In fact, it’s the easiest thing in the world — we’re all different. However, many factors, such as social condition to act a certain way, or to seem a certain way, so that people think you’re not a certain something else, influence how people act. The truth is, we’re all different and we feel different on the inside. As my friend Beth once said, we’re all baskets inside of boxes.

Since this is about sex, it might help to take a moment and define that term; we all have a different concept. I mean a psychic, emotional, physical and spiritual conducting medium that helps us celebrate and perpetuate existence. When I say sex, I speak of an exploration of self-awareness and other-awareness. I believe it’s one of the highest forms of communication; but when it’s really working, we create as we communicate.

We all want and indeed need to do this differently, even if the differences are subtle. We all have different things to learn, even if we are lucky enough to find common ground with a partner or partners. More often, the feeling of being different is usually palpable and sometimes it’s overwhelming. And we don’t know how to handle it, usually.

I don’t know anyone who, when you get them in a space where they are willing to open up, does not state that they feel different: than their friends; different than their spouse; different than their family — and, notably, quite often not able to discuss it. And I don’t mean a conversation on the hobbled, agonizing level of Sex and the City. If the real discussion could go to a depth of 10, that kind of discussion to me counts for about .02.

Many, many spouses have exceedingly little in common sexually, and their lives are at the brink of bursting with sexual tension. Yes, there are monogamous marriages that work — but the quality control test doesn’t come back like kids are told it will. We are promised a flawless product, despite the experiences of our parents; we get something else.

Who is the more sexually open party in a relationship often shakes out along gender lines in the way exactly opposite you would expect — women being the ones craving exploration, and guys wanting the usual thing (or wicked jealous that his girl is gonna get laid). So in that case she usually gets her extracurricular excitement through masturbation, which includes a lot of fantasy. However, women tend to live with the fact, more or less willingly, that guys tend to fuck other women. (This basically means that a small few women are getting most of the sex.)

There are also plenty of marriages and partnerships where the female partner shuts down and the guy is left wanting, waiting and masturbating. So neither gender has a monopoly on being sexually withdrawn. Or on depending on themselves for sex. I have not done an official study, but I’m sure that masturbation is the hottest sex that most people have. It’s just not counted as sex! Or, it’s too embarrassing to claim and talk about.

Here is another example of feeling different and being closeted that I think makes someone queer.

And here is one last: a lot, a lot, a lot of people are secretly bisexual or gay inside of heterosexual marriages.

I would suggest that if you feel like this (any of the above), you consider your situation. Why exactly can’t you come out of the closet? There are all the usual reasons. Most of them involve money — that is, there are so many mutual assets held in the context of a relationship, and often children, that you may fear the apple cart may be upset. Someone can’t (for example) have the sex they want, even if it’s available, because of the house they live in or the car they drive. We can see from this how marriage is one of those building blocks that keeps society going exactly as it was going (and why I now feel that monogamy reform, not polyamory, is the first step in our freedom).

Personally, I am involved with both. I have had nonmonogamous feelings since around the 2nd or 3rd grade (sometime around 8 years old). It was simple — I was in love with two girls. That was normal for me. I’m also bisexual, which came a bit later in life (late teens/early 20s). I’ve had some very, very good sex with men. My primary erotic, emotional and affectual orientation is women. Like a lot of people, I find most women easier to relate to emotionally, more empathic and receptive, and more open to my feelings than nearly all men. There is no substitute for sex with a man, so I have to live with this dichotomy, at least for now.

I am an unabashed cunt worshipper. I often wonder what they smell and taste like, along with the psychic impression that comes with the pleasure of giving her that. This response is usually inspired by eye contact or the sight of someone’s face. Fucking women, especially the right woman, is gorgeous and necessary for me. But it is the experience of women from the perspective of being a man that makes me most grateful for being male.

With women, a great part of my erotic orientation involves the practice of compersion. That is, I am closely attuned to the full spectrum of the sexual life of the women who are close to me. It’s not enough for me to “have” a woman in a limited way; rather, I need to connect with all of who she is, including (when appropriate) her fantasy life, her relationships with past and current lovers, and her relationship to me. I live with the truth that the women in my life, including my primary partner, will have other lovers in the future.

Gradually I’ve been focusing my thoughts on polyamory and compersion. Here is an email I sent to Dani Katz, who as you may remember wrote the essay “The Magician” two weeks ago as the lead of Planet Waves Astrology News.

One of the distinctions of monogamy versus polyamory in terms of mindset is that monogamy is heavily focused on the goal of happily ever after; of finding the ‘right person’ and calling it a wrap. This obsession with The One, Forever defines the whole mating dance and many other aspects of life, and it denies the changes that are inherent in life and in death.

The thinking is that you are then relieved of the burden of any mystery in a relationship and in most cases this works out to be true. Often we are relieved of growth as well — many relationships function as pacts not to grow or change. You are expected to be the person you were, the day you got together or got married.

Polyamory, in whatever form it may take (there are dozens of them), is focused on process: of discovery, of communication, of the processes of change and growth and the adventure of the unknown with many more variables involved, and many fewer presumptions. It is necessary to consider different ideas about relationships, which often means considering any ideas at all. When you don’t set an end goal and define that as happiness (such as the search for, and marriage to, The One, Forever), what happens along the way hopefully counts for more.

Think of how ridiculous it would be if a polyamorous person said, “My goal is to have two husbands.” But somehow if makes sense if you say, “My goal is to get married.”

Finally, I am discovering and exploring what I call the third sexual orientation — self-sexuality. Really, it should be the first orientation; if we taught and practiced emotionally grounded masturbation, life would be simpler and there would be less pressure to date and/or marry. Self-sexuality is when someone’s primary sexual orientation is on oneself. It might be expressed through masturbation, or it could be expressed through having sex with a partner that is only minimally relational. In other words, one’s experience of sex is not inherently about the other but about oneself. I think this is the less honest form of self-sexuality, and I think that a great many people (conveniently) use sex as a substitute for masturbation.

In its more honest form, self-sexuality experiences masturbation and fantasy as a conscious journey. From there, both fantasy play and masturbation can be shared by two or more people; the individual sexual journey of each person, their feelings and the content of their emotions, can be embraced by themselves and certain key people around them, and expressed whether solo or together.

Our closest primate cousins, the bonobos, masturbate together for pleasure and communal expression of feelings, and many people have discovered this. It just has not been given a name. When you spend a lot of time exploring in this space, partnersex changes. It’s easier to recognize your partner for who he or she is; easier to feel compersion; easier to make the choices that are right for you, rather than what you think you’re supposed to do.

We live in a time when it’s considered dangerous to experiment. A faux conservatism has taken over, but I feel people getting sick of it: sick of not having options, tired of not being able to be themselves, angry about not feeling safe feeling what you feel, sick of living your life in cloaked fantasy or locked into virtual reality.

For years, I have been calling for a discussion, but I am more lately calling for action: conscious community, open discussion, and a movement to get our exploration going on Earth, not just in virtualty. Action includes coming out of the closet, considering and working through the barriers that keep us from doing so, and on the inner level, addressing our rampant self-esteem issues that prevent us from thinking we have a right to exist. Among the major elements of healing self esteem, I think that satisfying, shockingly honest masturbation is a potent one. I consider it a yoga of self acceptance.

And this all is what I mean by queer — and what I mean by coming out of the basement. I would say if I have a personal goal, it is to be out to every person in my life; to be acknowledged with at least eye contact and a nod for my erotic identity; and to recognize the erotic identity of everyone in my life. This is about witnessing humanity.

With compersion, I get to feel the overflow of the pleasure everyone has, even if I’m not directly involved.

And I want as much good, loving sex as I can get, give or exchange.

I know I’m not alone in this general perspective; this bird’s eye view of Self.

If you’re interested in taking a step in your life and would like to dialog, contact me at info (at) planetwaves.net with a little about yourself (such as what you feel you have to offer to a shared community).

To you, and you, and you, and me — come out, come out, wherever you are.

This is a Sag horoscope from last year; I erased the exact date.

You have little patience for politics, perhaps too little. On our planet, when people get together, the collective power created by the encounter must be distributed. People have a synergistic effect, that is, greater than the sum of the parts. Any group can only hope to have someone in its midst who has some worthwhile ideas about what is fair and what is not, what is necessary and what is not — and who has the strength to stand up for them. Yes, there are honest and ethical people all around, but few give a voice to their heartfelt values. Too few are bold and creative. Too many fear ’stepping on the toes’ of those who step on heads. These days you not only have little choice in the matter of whether to voice your ideas, you also have every reason to speak up for the world you want to see born around you, indeed, a world you can live in and where you are welcome. That world needs you to act — before it takes up a life of its own, not after.

Wednesday 25 June 2008

Vesta (28+ Aries) sesquiquadrate Ixion (13+ Sagittarius Rx)
Sun (3+ Cancer) conjunct Kronos (3+ Cancer Rx)
Pandora (8+ Scorpio Rx) septile Pluto (29+ Sagittarius Rx) - Near Miss Only
Sun (4+ Cancer) sextile Saturn (4+ Virgo)
Eros (12+ Cancer) septile Sedna (21+ Taurus)
Apollo (12+ Leo) semisquare Hades (27+ Gemini)
Venus (8+ Cancer) trine Pandora (8+ Scorpio Rx)
Mercury (14+ Gemini) quintile Mars (26+ Leo)
Vesta (28+ Aries) trine Orcus (28+ Leo)
Eros (12+ Cancer) septile Saturn (4+ Virgo)
Venus (9+ Cancer) sesquiquadrate Neptune (24+ Aquarius Rx)
Asbolus (7+ Taurus) quincunx Pholus (7+ Sagittarius Rx)
Ceres (6+ Cancer) semisquare Sedna (21+ Taurus)
Arachne (3+ Libra) square Kronos (3+ Cancer)

The Emerald Warriors, Dublin’s gay rugby team, in the Pride Parade last weekend in Dublin. Photo by Rachel Asher.

Editor’s Note: Rachel Asher, our associate editor (she coordinates this blog, the front cover and the Tuesday and Friday editions), has been pinging me on doing a little something for Gay Pride Week, and I asked her to put together a short essay for this space.

Planet Waves has always taken an “out” position on sexuality. We’ve done so whether the accolades come in, or the complaints, or whether someone in England has a heart attack when he discovers the Sexuality Resources Area. It’s impressive how simultaneously popular and unpopular of a topic sex can be, even within the confines of one individual.

However, regardless of public opinion, ignorance prevails most of the time. Most people are ignorant and neglectful of their bodies, and many seem to lack the basic emotional literacy necessary to connect sexual experiences with their ideas about intimacy.

Hopefully times are changing, but I’ve heard waaaay too many stories from clients about not being given basic information on such things as menstruation. And who exactly is qualified to educate their kids about how to handle relationships? Yet it’s more significant to me how little true self-understanding exists about sexuality, given the papered-over version of reality that we are typically handed by nuns, school teachers and our parents. Add in the crime of abstinence-only sex education and you can see we have not been heading in such a good direction the past couple of decades, and we have a lot of reason to be on the alert for blatant ignorance.

It’s my sincere belief that everyone needs to come out of the closet — not just people who are queer. I sometimes call it coming out of the basement, because that’s where most of us keep our sexuality.

People wonder why exactly gay, bi, lesbian and trans people, and the many other forms of queer, have to come out to their parents and friends. I’ve thought about this or years, and I think the question is a reflection on the prevailing state of heterosexuality. Coming out is a crucial ritual in the life of someone queer, because through the process of being queer, they [we] invariably discover how close to the core of their emotional and psychic reality their sexuality is; and they cannot keep being different hidden.

It is a rite of passage, and I think that heterosexuals decidedly lack this to their extreme detriment. We have no established sexual rites of passage in Western culture, except in the queer community. I think we all have something to learn here. Tomorrow I’ll come back to the Pride theme with some coming out thoughts of my own. I now leave you in the very capable hands of Rachel…besides myself, I think the first openly queer person besides me to serve Planet Waves. (As for myself, I’ll tell you what I mean by ‘queer’ in the next edition.)

Dear Friend and Reader:

“Do you think I’m stupid? You think I don’t know what’s been going on with you and J. this whole time?”

A shiver of shock and melancholy snakes up my back when remember his words like this, so precise, so vivid. My father died almost seven years ago and, for those of you reading who have lost someone close to you, you know that from that moment of loss, you will struggle to maintain their memory: the sound of their voice, their mannerisms, how they’d react to this or that news.

People under rainbow umbrella at the Pride rally last weekend in Dublin. Photo by Rachel Asher.

There are a couple of memories of my father that I know will never fade: one of them is the goofy dance he did in the living room to The Beatles’ “I am the Walrus” and how he pronounced, “goo goo gu choob.” Another is the day I came out to him.

It’s raining this morning in Dublin and, before you roll your eyes at the predictability of the Irish weather, it was actually a sunny spring. In a few hours, I will be attending the Gay Pride Parade, huddled under an umbrella with my girlfriend as the largest rainbow flag I’ve ever seen winds from Parnell Square on the North Side to the top of Dames Street on the southern side of the city.

I’ve earned my right to stand there amidst the floats and fanfare: eight years ago, I sat my father down at the dining room table with an informative packet on sexuality, a recently broken heart and open ears, absorbing his response to my coming out speech.

I don’t think there’s anything more difficult for a teenage girl than talking about sex to her father, and straight girls can avoid this confrontation well into adulthood if they want to. It didn’t work that way for me, though; both because I was bisexual and an activist, and because I was having a lot of sex. My queer sexuality was central to my life as a teenager: I formed the first gay-straight alliance in my high school, my friends were primarily bisexual and gay and, if they were straight, they were in Drama Club.

Coming out is a relatively recent phenomenon, it originated with the gay rights movement which rose like a pheonix out of the Stonewall Riots on June 28, 1969. When sodomy was still illegal in New York, policemen were permitted to raid bars that were known to have gay clientele and arrest people for dancing with members of the same sex. (For a personal account of what this pre-liberation time period was like, Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg is a beautifully written book.)

Gay men were automatically considered perverts and child molesters. Homosexuality itself was considered a mental disorder, like having bipolar or borderline personality.

When a bunch of drag queens, gay men and lesbians resisted arrest during a raid of the Stonewall Inn, a popular gay bar in New York City’s West Village (that is, Greenwich Village), the gay rights movement began.

The movement raged on into the 1970s and 1980s with groups like ACT UP and Queer Nation marching through the streets, demanding the decriminalization of sodomy laws, to fight AIDS, to be equal citizens socially and legally.

That fight has mollified in most Western countries as queer people have gained many more civil rights, though there are notable exceptions like Poland, whose Warsaw Mayor Lech Kaczynski banned the pride parade two years in a row, claiming it supports a homosexual lifestyle. The European Court of Human Rights finally overturned the ban this past September.

While we can’t forget instances in the United States like Matthew Shephard and the fight for marriage equality, the gay rights movement has turned into more of a celebration and less of a fight. Coming out has become the primary right of passage for a queer person; it’s a story we tell our friends over and over, a badge that we wear that says “I own who I am, and I’m secure enough in myself to tell those around me.”

We may be different from the mainstream (or not, in truth, because everyone secretly thinks there is something queer about their sexuality), but we each found our courage, at some point, to buck that trend and force our loved ones to accept us for who we are. To steal the words from Queer Nation: “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!”

And, for me anyway, it seemed my father already had.

Happy Pride,

Today’s Oracle takes us to Aug 08, 2005 - Aries - Daily

Invest a little effort today into solving what you’ve come to think of as impossible problems at work and you’ll make months of progress. You’ve had more than enough brilliant ideas the past couple of days; you really should be working on cracking the riddles of theoretical physics. What’s different about today is that you’ll have the diplomatic skills to share your wisdom in ways that people will appreciate. It’s really simple — they will be as patient with you as you are with them. The best approach is to ask their opinions and give them credit for your ideas. Just remember the goal which is making life easier for everyone.

Saturday 21 June 2008

Eros (8+ Cancer) quintile Vesta (26+ Aries)
Arachne (3+ Libra) sextile Hylonome (3+ Sagittarius Rx)
Eros (8+ Cancer) trine Pandora (8+ Scorpio Rx)
Hidalgo (6+ Scorpio Rx) opposite Asbolus (6+ Taurus)
Venus (3+ Cancer) sextile Saturn (3+ Virgo)
Venus (3+ Cancer) quintile Eris (21+ Aries)
Amor (20+ Taurus) square Chiron (20+ Aquarius Rx)
Venus (3+ Cancer) conjunct Kronos (3+ Cancer)
Eros (9+ Cancer) semisquare Mars (24+ Leo)
Eros (9+ Cancer) sesquiquadrate Neptune (24+ Aquarius Rx)
Mars (24+ Leo) opposite Neptune (24+ Aquarius Rx)
Jupiter (19+ Capricorn Rx) trine Logos (19+ Virgo)
Mercury (13+ Gemini) septile Eris (21+ Aries)
Vesta (26+ Aries) trine Galactic Center (26+ Sagittarius)
Venus (4+ Cancer) conjunct Ceres (4+ Cancer)

Sunday 22 June 2008

Venus (4+ Cancer) septile Pallas (13+ Taurus)
Atlantis (13+ Libra) quincunx Pallas (13+ Taurus)
Psyche (11+ Scorpio Rx) semisquare Galactic Center (26+ Sagittarius)
Sun (1+ Cancer) square M87 (1+ Libra)
Amor (21+ Taurus) conjunct Sedna (21+ Taurus)
Mercury (13+ Gemini) opposite Ixion (13+ Sagittarius Rx)
Ceres (4+ Cancer) septile Pallas (13+ Taurus)
Pallas (13+ Taurus) quincunx Ixion (13+ Sagittarius Rx)
Vesta (27+ Aries) sextile Hades (27+ Gemini)
Eros (10+ Cancer) semisquare Admetos (25+ Taurus)
Mars (24+ Leo) quintile Hidalgo (6+ Scorpio Rx)
Nessus (14+ Aquarius Rx) semisquare Pluto (29+ Sagittarius Rx) - Near Miss Only
Venus (5+ Cancer) trine Chariklo (5+ Scorpio Rx)
Venus (5+ Cancer) quintile 1992 QB1 (23+ Aries)