Good morning,

The diversity of aspects every day is so incredibly interesting. Every day there are at least five I could riff on. Asteroid Apollo is always worth a good ponder, commenting on the way we learn or don’t learn lessons from repeated experiences. Today Apollo is conjunct Mars and square Venus. The Ceres-Pholus opposition brings in a newer influence (Pholus, the second Centaur, after Chiron) and one we need to be paying a lot more attention to — the first-ever minor planet, Ceres (which started as a planet, then became an asteroid and is now considered a dwarf planet, along with Pluto and Eris). Many of these planets are covered in Small World Stories, by the way.

And then there is Eris. This is the discovery that shook up the solar system: it forced astronomers to define this elusive and wandering word, planet, and in the process conclude that there is this new thing called a dwarf planet. In my view it’s a meaningless phrase, but today’s not the day for a rant on this. [Here is an article from right when the "dwarf planet" class was created, in the summer of 2006.]

There are two aspects to Eris today — Venus conjunct Eris and Mars square Eris. That’s another way of saying that Venus and Mars are in a square aspect and that Eris is caught in the middle — a reasonable enough illustration of the relationships between men and women. Yes, things used to be easier: when sex roles were clearly defined and everyone supposedly knew who was boss. I am referring to days when the family structure was more predictable and when there were higher expectations on proper behavior.

Some would say that men were boss and some would say that women knew how to top from the bottom. Some would say that there was a complex power sharing arrangement in a world where men were supposedly in charge. Whatever you may believe about the days of yore, we live in an era when sex roles, sexual orientation and gender itself are in flux and in question.

Eris illustrates this point beautifully. The ‘discord’ to which she refers is precisely the kind of situation where there is a measure of anarchy, and this we have in our gender relations. It is true that many people cling to the old rules: men ask women out, gay and lesbian people don’t get married and if you have any alt tendencies, you stay in the closet.

I know I live in the supposedly blue state of New York, but I also live in a small rural city and on a street corner that I pass every day on the way into my studio, there is a huge sign for the LGBTQ Center (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer). Note, I will soon embark on a campaign to get an M stuck on that sign because I believe that masturbation is a kind of sexual orientation.

In any event, Eris to me represents some of the gender chaos we live with here in the early 21st century, which represents a change in the structure of society far greater than we can actually see with our own eyes so close to the events and developments. It looks perhaps like fashion; it is actually the world changing.

Another way the world is changing is the dioxin level. By dioxin, I mean all chemicals which disrupt the hormones — we are swimming in an ocean of them. Heavy metals (like mercury in your tuna salad) do the same thing. And this, I believe, is partly to account for all the Viagra ads that you get in your inbox, and for many things besides, for example, the apparent loss of sexual instinct that many people in our society are suffering from. I don’t believe that this is caused only by conservatism and abstinence only sex indoctrination in schools: it has a chemical aspect as well.

Eris is about a lot more than this. Psychically, she is about reclaiming the lost woman within; the castaway powerhouse; the archetype of the the female shaman, the healer, the witch, the whore, the independent woman of any stripe who is depicted in myth as one who allegedly causes chaos in society. Everything that represents independence is attributed to catastrophe. And every group in our society that claims any sexual independence, for the history of the puritanical Western world, has been blamed with the imminent collapse of civilization.

Venus conjunct this factor is about a return to this core of the disowned female archetype. Mars square Eris is about men clashing with that new-found power, if they act unconsciously. Mars happens to be conjunct Apollo, which can have a feeling of bucking the odds or doing something the same way over and over, hoping for a different result.

In a world of changing roles, men and women need to do things differently. I believe that heterosexuals also need to follow the example of that assorted thing called LGBTQ and come out of the closet. Modern views of heterosexuality have cast it as a form of perversion or deviance, which in the view of many we cannot talk about, describe or be open about in other ways. It’s extremely common to keep secrets from or partners (a form of being a closet case) and it’s considered dangerous to step outside the box (to live openly as polyamorous or one who has more than one lover or partner, even though nearly everyone wishes they could at least one day a week).

And then there is masturbation, the biggest closet of them all.

Eris challenges us to live openly, to let those secrets out of the dark basement, and to experience the freedom of living in the open air and the light of day. If not, she will surely give us a taste of what she’s so famous for.

Wednesday 23 April 2008

Venus (20+ Aries) square Apollo (20+ Cancer)
Mars (21+ Cancer) square Eris (21+ Aries)
Mercury (11+ Taurus) semisquare Hades (26+ Gemini)
Sisyphus (17+ Libra Rx) quintile Juno (29+ Sagittarius Rx)
Vesta (1+ Aries) quincunx Saturn (1+ Virgo Rx)
Saturn (1+ Virgo Rx) trine Asbolus (1+ Taurus)
Venus (21+ Aries) quintile Kronos (3+ Cancer)
Sisyphus (17+ Libra Rx) square Varuna (17+ Cancer)
Mercury (11+ Taurus) septile Kronos (3+ Cancer)
Venus (21+ Aries) conjunct Eris (21+ Aries)
Eros (17+ Taurus) quincunx Sisyphus (17+ Libra Rx)
Ceres (9+ Gemini) opposite Pholus (9+ Sagittarius Rx)
Mercury (11+ Taurus) sesquiquadrate Galactic Center (26+ Sagittarius)
Sun (3+ Taurus) sesquiquadrate Quaoar (18+ Sagittarius Rx)
Eros (17+ Taurus) sextile Varuna (17+ Cancer)
Venus (21+ Aries) square Mars (21+ Cancer)
Mercury (12+ Taurus) septile Uranus (21+ Pisces)
Venus (21+ Aries) quincunx Psyche (21+ Scorpio Rx)

Today’s Oracle takes us back to…Jan. 27, 2006, Virgo - Weekly

Whatever pressures you’ve been under lately, you seem to be getting accustomed to them. You thrive on demands because you thrive on being in service, and we are certainly living through high times in that regard. People such as yourself are the ones who will in fact help the world through its current mess, because you have the vision, you have the energy and you have the completely overdeveloped sense of responsibility that doing anything with integrity demands in these strange years. Just make sure you take care of yourself; get away from the structure from time to time, and give yourself space.

Good morning world,

Before we get into today’s blog, Planet Waves is about to issue two new publications.

First is the horoscope from the series, It’s Not About Sex, It’s About Self. This was originally our Valentine’s Day series and it has stretched from one cross-quarter day (Imbolc/Valentine’s Day) to another — Beltane.

The horoscope was written by Paloma Todd, our longtime friend and collaborator in Barcelona (formerly of Paris and Puerto Rico). It was originally written as material that I could work with to develop into the horoscope, but the writing was so magnificent I could not make a single edit in her poetry. Here is a sample, from the Taurus edition:

I want it all. I want sex atop the Himalayas. I want cherry blossom sex in Japan. I want to expand, explore and explode. I want to feel the cosmic universe by meeting you, all of you. I want them all, on a plate to be eaten as a cosmic gourmet buffet; I want all the tastes melting as truth enlightens me, while I surrender the weight of my body into the smells of the skin of others. I am as hungry for orgasmic wisdom as I am for having sexes in my mouth and skins under my teeth. I ask for it all, and as much as I want, I am willing to give back to my lovers, as they are the cosmic stars of my voraciousness. I am such a laugh, such a gift. The energy I bring into meeting the other is overwhelming, overboard, even abrasive, but I do bring something joyful into other people’s lives. Others enjoy me devouring them.

It’s Not About Sex, It’s About Self was planned as a single essay and horoscope. It has grown into an online book. The horoscopes cover about 500 words per sign and there are six additional sections (with a conclusion and resources section forthcoming). If you sign up today, you’ll get the horoscopes for all 12 signs, plus the previous six parts which explore jealousy, compersion, self-disclosure, sexual independence in relationships and some ideas for new models of monogamy. There is a lot of very useful information about masturbation and its history, an enlightened view of solo sex.

And you’ll receive any additional mailings we do as the project concludes.

The series is based on a decade of my work as a presenter at sexuality workshops in New York and California, and I consider it my best writing to date on the subject of thinking outside the box as a sexual critter. I also consider Paloma’s horoscope one of the very best we have ever published at Planet Waves, and I am truly proud to make it available to you.

Next, my May monthly horoscope is about to be published in a few minutes. The monthly stars are now available only through our two main subscriber services — Small World Stories and Planet Waves Astrology News. If you need a comp subscription, please check this link for instructions.

Here is the Taurus horoscope for May 2008.

Taurus (April 19-May 20)

As a stunning New Moon sweeps through your birth sign this month, I suggest you ask yourself one question: is what you want based on what you want, or is it based on some extreme external conditioning? One’s work or mission must be based on an inner process in order to be authentic. While it’s impossible to sort out all external factors, there are a few you need to be aware of. These principally involve the effects of what you were told you could not do. The equation parses out like this. If you were blocked, chastised, or punished for expressing your talents, this can trigger a kind of obsession with ambition. The effect would be to make you object oriented rather than process oriented; in spiritual terms, you could stay hung up on the supposed destination rather than the journey. You will have a clue about whether this is happening if in some way you emphasize image over substance; if you are concerned more about what people think than how you feel. The most helpful thing you can do at this point is discern whether your goals are really your goals. Where exactly did they come from, and what other options do you see? For where you are at now, is it necessary to have goals at all, or do they conceal something deeper — something you truly want and need?

This morning’s blog is written by Genevieve Salerno. Genevieve strolled into my life one afternoon as a model candidate for my photo project, Book of Blue. She came in for her interview as her boyfriend Joe waited out in the car in case I turned out to be a weirdo. We became friends in an hour, and spent most of the time talking about Norse mythology — one of her specialties (an understatement). By the time she walked out of my apartment she had joined the Planet Waves staff as an astrology assistant. (We finally got to doing photos a few months later. She is a bold and creative photo model.)

Have a great day, and I leave you in the capable hands of Genevieve.

Psyche in Scorpio retrograde sextile Jupiter in Capricorn.

A few nights ago I was sitting in a field of grass that went outwards in all directions about as far as I could see. Beyond that, thin trees provided a buffer of more textured darkness before the mountains rose up like flat shadows of something much bigger against the wall of night. The night sky itself was a gorgeous polished lazuli, the Moon was almost full and it seemed like the light was as palpable as a spider’s silk when you walk into it. I was completely alone in that space, trembling on the very edge of hallucination, chilly enough to stay away from a trance, and I began to cry.

Looking back on that now, I know it was the delicacy of the moment that brought me to that state of complete helplessness, and brought in there before an almost Full Moon, the feeling, instead of the terrifying, as most people would anticipate, I found it revealing and safe. The culture we live in today, the emotions we most readily associate ourselves with, are ones of fear and worry. We try so hard to prevent things, it’s as though we live in constant flinch mode. But every so often, we get a chance to get a glimpse of things as a whole instead of just little parts, and instead of fragmented, jarring and stormy; it is unrolling, vast, and sublime.

The Moon was just leaving Libra, slipping into that dark, contemplative energy that is Scorpio, like a widow retiring from a party into a darker, secret room to reflect on the turns her life has taken. I felt a relinquishing of all the armor that helped build my personal niche, which I have outgrown, and slid out of it like the lambs that just got born out in the backyard from where I write this now. I wonder to myself, what was I so afraid of in the first place? What kind of pain did I carry so long and horde away from the Night, from the Earth, that I doubted it could be made into something more useful and more beautiful if I buried it and left it in that field to be nurtured by the milky moonlight and the lulling western breeze?

I find that tonight’s aspect reflects this feeling perfectly: the pushing outward from boundaries that, at first, strove to protect us, and instead became our tourniquets and collars. Jupiter in Capricorn makes a window where there was just a wall, and offers the Psyche in us to relish in the night that for so long held bitter memories of loss, and instead surprise with the tranquility of the new hunger for experience. And of course, since Psyche is retrograde, it is also a call to look within, because; after all, to find the answer to any mystery, we must look within, before we look without.

– Genevieve Salerno

Aspects for Tuesday 22 April 2008, courtesy of Serennu.

Eros (16+ Taurus) semisquare Vesta (1+ Aries)
Nessus (14+ Aquarius) sextile Ixion (14+ Sagittarius Rx)
Atlantis (18+ Libra Rx) sextile Quaoar (18+ Sagittarius Rx)
Venus (19+ Aries) quincunx Logos (19+ Virgo Rx)
Sun (2+ Taurus) quintile Chiron (20+ Aquarius)
Eros (16+ Taurus) sesquiquadrate Arachne (1+ Libra Rx)
Atlantis (18+ Libra Rx) opposite Pallas (18+ Aries)
Pallas (18+ Aries) trine Quaoar (18+ Sagittarius Rx)
Mercury (9+ Taurus) quincunx Pholus (9+ Sagittarius Rx)
Vesta (1+ Aries) opposite Arachne (1+ Libra Rx)
Venus (20+ Aries) sesquiquadrate Hylonome (5+ Sagittarius Rx)
Amor (28+ Aries) trine Orcus (28+ Leo Rx)
Apollo (20+ Cancer) quincunx Chiron (20+ Aquarius)
Mars (21+ Cancer) trine Uranus (21+ Pisces)
Pandora (18+ Scorpio Rx) quincunx Pallas (18+ Aries)
Sun (3+ Taurus) sextile Kronos (3+ Cancer)
Venus (20+ Aries) sextile Chiron (20+ Aquarius)
Psyche (21+ Scorpio Rx) sextile Jupiter (21+ Capricorn)

Oracle returns: Jan 31, 2003 - Aquarius - Weekly

You get to decide anything you want right now: to live or die, to know or to forget, to condemn yourself for the past pain of others, or to release and forgive and understand without words. There has been no time like this in your life so far. There are elements present in your environment and in your consciousness that no person could have foreseen, or perhaps a great master: someone named Ammachi comes to mind. We could say you are standing in the door to all truth, which is the same as the door to all lies. It just depends on which way you go, what you are willing to feel, what your soul needs, and the extent to which you are willing to set aside the fears of your parents, and of theirs. Check it out. It’s not your fear. It belongs to someone else. You can put it down.

This weekend’s special subscription offer is still valid today! Click here for more information.

Welcome to Monday,

Well, I did not read the Pope’s chart, but I did see his motorcade go by heading northbound on FDR Drive on Sunday afternoon, and it was extremely impressive. I think I got a look at several Lexus 2012 model SUVs which seemed to be chasing about 100 motorcycle cops and were followed by a fleet of ambulances and then three Good Humor men ringing their bells. I did not see the Pope, but when I asked a traffic cop at the 96th St. exit if that was indeed his motorcade, he smiled and — obviously kidding — said yep, the closest thing to God.

Along with reading the Pope’s chart, I was having fantasies of Eliot Spitzer confessing his whole scene to Pope Ratzinger, but I’m pretty sure that didn’t happen. I think if you’re Jewish you have to confess to a rabbi, though the pope was wearing a yarmulke.

Today the Sun is conjunct Asbolus and trine Saturn. Asbolus is Centaur #4, after Chiron, Pholus and Nessus. Asbolus was discovered going around our Sun in 1994. These first few Centaurs are easy to work with. Asbolus leaped out of the charts for me about five years ago. When you’re an astrologer, you hear a lot of intense stories about how fucked up life can be. This really teaches us compassion: it’s necessary to be fully present but not take on the pain directly; indeed the whole point is to help everyone let go of the pain.

I kept noticing that Asbolus would show up on an angle (such as the ascendant or descendant) of people who had some of the most harrowing childhood stories. I picked up quickly that it would be possible to “blame Asbolus” for the kind of stuff they went through, and then I realized that the common thread was that they had survived. So I began to think of Asbolus as the archetype of the survivor.

Now, there is something lonely about surviving. There is something desperate. As the Sun has approached this Centaur, what I’ve notice as the weather has warmed up is that people seem less obsessed by fear and more willing to be open and friendly. This is merely what I’m noticing from walking on the streets of my town and to some extent on the Internet. Anybody picking this up?

If you look with some sense of context, it’s possible to see that the turn of the century era has come with an obsession with fear; I mean fear of things like terrorists being used against everyone but also the rising tide of many people being paranoid to be real and talk to people, even down to social situations. I have a friend in LA working on an article about how people are too freaked out about one another to socialize or have sex. In California?

And the past 10 years all our TV programs on the UK and the US have had the theme of “getting voted off the island” or competing to see “who is the best.” We get Top Chef judging scenes that make military tribunals at Guantanamo look cheerful.

I think some of us can finally say we’re striving to go beyond surviving, and by that I mean emotionally, socially and creatively. I’ll tell you something else I’m noticing now, which is a lot of people saying they want to do this, but they seem to have no idea how; how to break the patterns and slip into their creative mental space or socially relevant mental space.

How do you get out of your routines and give yourself some freedom? How do you slip out of the state of mind that conditions you to believe that what you’re doing is irrelevant, and move into something that feels right? This is THE spiritual challenge of our times. How do WE personally change, to get in alignment with our purpose and then gradually get together and change the course of what is happening on our planet? I can tell you that we’re not going to do it from a place of strife, misery and certainty that our lives are meaningless. We may need some of that good old Human Survivor Spirit, but it’s going to take a lot more than that.

We have a clue in Saturn and Pluto, which are closely trine the Sun at the moment. These are the two planets whose energy we need to master. Saturn helps us have sane boundaries. In other words, we have to do better than “say no till you’re good and drunk.” That is not a healthy boundary. We need to be able to negotiate. Walls must have a door; doors need locks and locks need keys. Who gets the keys? And when can they come over? This is how you can start thinking of healthy boundaries.

Pluto gives us the ability to change; to evolve; to let go of our old forms and develop into new ones that serve us better. It can, at times, be a harrowing process. It helps a lot and I do mean a lot to embrace Pluto every single day; to be willing to change and grow and not be set in your ways.

Today the Sun is conjunct Asbolus, which means “carbon dust.” This is a reminder of what all life has in common. The answer includes carbon and it includes the need to survive — but what else? What do we have in common with our neighbors, our boss, our enemies, and our friends? I mean really have in common?

Here are today’s aspects, and the Oracle takes us back to Taurus time in 1999 — when I was preparing my readers for the imminent total solar eclipse later that year.

Monday 21 April 2008

Venus (18+ Aries) conjunct Pallas (18+ Aries)
Apollo (20+ Cancer) sesquiquadrate Hylonome (5+ Sagittarius Rx)
Mars (20+ Cancer) sextile Sedna (20+ Taurus)
Venus (18+ Aries) opposite Sisyphus (18+ Libra Rx)
Pluto (1+ Capricorn Rx) square M87 (1+ Libra)
Atlantis (19+ Libra Rx) quintile Pluto (1+ Capricorn Rx)
Ceres (8+ Gemini) quincunx Chariklo (8+ Scorpio Rx)
Sun (1+ Taurus) conjunct Asbolus (1+ Taurus)
Sisyphus (18+ Libra Rx) opposite Pallas (18+ Aries)
Sun (1+ Taurus) quincunx Arachne (1+ Libra Rx)
Venus (18+ Aries) trine Quaoar (18+ Sagittarius Rx)
Sun (1+ Taurus) trine Saturn (1+ Virgo Rx)
Apollo (20+ Cancer) sextile Sedna (20+ Taurus)
Venus (18+ Aries) opposite Atlantis (18+ Libra Rx)
Vesta (1+ Aries) square Pluto (1+ Capricorn Rx)
Vesta (1+ Aries) opposite M87 (1+ Libra)
Mars (20+ Cancer) quincunx Chiron (20+ Aquarius)
Arachne (1+ Libra Rx) quincunx Asbolus (1+ Taurus)
Sisyphus (18+ Libra Rx) septile Pholus (9+ Sagittarius Rx)
Venus (19+ Aries) quincunx Pandora (19+ Scorpio Rx)
Eros (16+ Taurus) sesquiquadrate Pluto (1+ Capricorn Rx)
Eros (16+ Taurus) sesquiquadrate M87 (1+ Libra)
Mercury (8+ Taurus) quintile Apollo (20+ Cancer)
Mercury (8+ Taurus) opposite Chariklo (8+ Scorpio Rx)
Mercury (8+ Taurus) quintile Mars (20+ Cancer)

Monday’s Oracle Sept. 17, 1999 - TAURUS - Weekly

When I get all confuddled exploring the complexities of Taurus, I have to remind myself that difficult as it may be to comprehend what is happening over in the part of the sky known as your life, you are the one who has to live with yourself. For the moment, that is taking some patience, which you’ve got plenty of, but patience can work for us as well as it can work against us. You may feel you have all kinds of catching up to yourself to do, but as far as I can see things, it looks like you have everything you need, and know all of everything you need to know, and possess all the emotional readiness you’ve been working out, in order to take the next big step; in fact, you may have already taken it.

Heyo Internet Dweller or Visitor,

I am gonna call it a week, and also place today’s edition of Planet Waves Astrology News in the public domain.

Today’s lead article covers the sequence of Full Moon - Beltane New Moon - Full Moon across the Taurus - Scorpio axis. For those with any inclination to ritual, natural religion, or sacred/conscious sexuality, this is the time to stoke the fires in your heart and connect to the world on and in which we live.

I once got a Chinese fortune that said, “Be resolutely what you are. Be humbly what you aspire to be.” I am resolutely a story teller of astrology: not in what’s called the pier tradition of fortune telling (such as at the end of a pier, though it was such an astrologer who drew me into the work); not in the scientific practice of astrology and not in the karmic sense. I am more in the tradition of the people who made up the early myths than their much later interpreters. These new stories are rooted in tradition and set in a modern context. This, as we stand here at the threshold of an extremely uncertain time, or one where we discover that whatever certainty we were feeling no longer holds atoms.

Here is what I humbly aspire to: open the doors to what is considered journalism on a cultural level, so that we can take an integrated approach to covering the news and therefore use journalism as a mirror of existence — and as a way into the matrix; a way to participate.

I’ll take a moment of your time with some ideas about this. Most publications, columns, blogs and websites take on one subject. Generally, they specialize, even if such pertains to “the news” in a general sense. Nearly every one of these outlets bans discussion of most other aspects of life. The distortion is so pervasive we hardly notice it. Operating in this mode relieves nearly all writers and editors of the burden of context. The cosmic order, sexuality, art and even history are eliminated from nearly everything we consider news. In this environment, our minds and senses fragment because not only are the connections between things not made, they are specifically denied and concealed.

Planet Waves aspires to create a prototype news venue that allows the cosmos to speak. I am a seasoned journalist and experienced astrologer, and everyone who passes through our organization gets some training in how to integrate both of these crafts. We aspire to help open up consciousness for all of us to see ourselves and the world for what we are, to express our creative passions, and to listen when love whispers.

I recognize that the journey to freedom, maturity, sanity and adapting to the changes our society is going through requires resources, imagry, a sense of community and life-giving information, and that is what we humbly aspire to do at Planet Waves.

We admit and acknowledge the existence of the universe in every word and image we publish, and we venture what we do not just well, but beautifully. This is an a editorial model we feel reflects more accurately the content of your mind and the sensibilities of your heart. Moreover, we strive to be useful in everything we do. I have a grand earth trine in my chart, and while I am very Pisces, my plan is to feed your dreams, inner explorations and growth in a practical way.

Our work is supported by you. Not by advertisers: we are beholden only to what you need and what we feel we must do every day.

Planet Waves Astrology News is published Tuesday and Friday mornings. Included each week is my 12-sign horoscope column that started the whole pwaves project. And there are two (soon to be three) monthly horoscopes as well.

Sign up this weekend for six months or a year and you’ll receive access to Small World Stories, our innovative annual edition for 2008, in fact, the 10th annual edition of Planet Waves. It covers all 12 signs with detailed explorations of the current astrology, and has many other unique features that will give you things to discover month after month. Sign up for six months here, or one year here. There are less expensive subscription options here.

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I’m not going to assume this goes without saying: even for the bold and brave among us, even in the first weeks of springtime, this world can be a cold and lonely place sometimes. By the grace of Vesta, we strive to maintain a constant fire next to which those who visit here can warm our collective soul.

It’s good to be with you on your journey, and to have you with me on mine.

dreams - at - planetwaves.net. Also I’ll be visiting Manhattan this weekend (I have been asked by the Vatican to read Pope Benedict’s natal chart at the Waldorf Astoria), with no plans for late morning into early afternoon Sunday. If you’re a Planet Waves reader, it would be fun to make a new friend. I’ll probably have access to email, tho my cell is (845) 797-3458. I don’t play messages but I return all missed calls. (If I don’t answer, pls call twice.)

Dear Friend and Reader:We all know that we need to have more honest conversations about the important things in life — and we all know what they are. There is nothing like a trine from Mercury to Pluto — supported by Saturn — to help get the conversation going. The astrology is pretty simple: trines open a flow. Mercury trine anything opens the flow of communication (specifically) about the topic of the other planet involved.

With Pluto this is about that delightful shadowy material of deep, dark eroticism, change, death and letting go, and our true emotional needs. Saturn addresses boundaries, the ego structure, and our willingness to change. These are all related topics — see if you can figure out the common thread.

One of the aversions to a real conversation is how we might feel the next day: about things we expressed (expressing a feeling is a form of a commitment, which is why we might shy away from it), needs expressed (also a form of a commitment), or secrets revealed.

“It hasn’t the same effect the next morning, when I’m in a different head space,” a friend wrote to me recently. “It’s like two different worlds. I wake up and see your emails and think of our conversation the night before and don’t necessarily want to go there in the daylight.”

We have all experienced this. It takes some time to get accustomed to the coexistence of the nocturnal self with the diurnal self; the self with fewer borders who can say, feel and need some unusual things; and the cognitive, rational ego self that is all about protecting its image, maintaining stability, and in general keeping a grip on reality.

If you open up under the influence of this weekend’s aspects, carried by the momentum of the Full Moon, be prepared at least to experience this effect. I call it the ritual effect. In doing any form of ritual — and honest conversation counts, particularly with the Full Moon coming through town this weekend — there is always an opportunity to deny or eschew what occurred; it can seem strange, inappropriate, or the part of your brain that the Christians, the U.S. government and the advertising industry have colonized can really wonder what you were ever doing.

This is the part of the brain that feels like the “uncreative self” that drags us through the day like a locomotive. When we open up in the reduced boundary world of the night, we make a subtle pathway out of that hard-edged world of money and limits and enter another space. I think that when people say they want to be more creative, what they mean is to get in contact with this softer, nocturnal, and more fantasy-driven aspect of their nature. That usually feels really good, though there can be odd things we find in the shadows that we simply need to accept or allow to be released.

And yes, there is the next day, were you need to accept who you became “last night.”

That ritual, exploration or intimate conversation is taking place in emotional and psychic territory (the limbic system). The rest of life is being lived in cognitive territory (the forebrain). Growth is the process of integrating the different aspects of consciousness, the various lobes of the brain, the different identities, and getting them all talking.

Part of the hitch there is we create relationships where people expect us to be a certain person; not only can’t we be “inappropriate” in those relationships, we might feel strange having any contact with this inner other identity. Image means a lot in our society, but it’s a prison. And remember — people never see you the way you think they do. You may turn on the prude, and someone who plays it totally cool who you see every day can’t stop thinking about eating your pussy.

Artists do something interesting: create something in one state of mind, and then deal with it the next morning in another. If you do drugs, all your fantasies and hallucinations evaporate; if you dream a really wild dream, it disappears, leaving you with a feeling. If you talk to someone, the words vanish. If you make art, you have evidence of your journey through consciousness; you have evidence of where you were, what you touched and what risks you took.

With sexuality and sex itself, the distinction between the “erotic person” and the “normal person” can be profound — and the two selves can quite literally deny the existence of one another. That is a huge split in awareness or consciousness. Where you have art to work with, you have a chance to reabsorb the product of one “personality” into the “other personality” due to the presence of physical evidence.

With sex, emotions and revealing secrets, you may need to stretch to accept this strange other person who you are — the one who did ________ last night or who admitted to _______ and still love and accept that person the next day — really claim this entity as yourself.

Otherwise, we run the risk of compartmentalizing ourselves out of existence. What we need, I think (it has worked for me as an artist, writer and to some extent as a lover) is to have the whole brain, the whole personality, be friends with itself, open up those compartments and allow ourselves the room to be a whole person, all the time.

“It takes some work to integrate and almost easier in the short term to let them be two different worlds,” my friend wrote to me this morning. Yes, and it’s a lot more than two. Here, we have a window into that odd experience of the ego, when you’re doing something really intense, you know what I mean, you’re stretched into this unusual shape (feelings and body) and you wonder: what would my father think if he saw me like this?

Indeed.

Yours & truly,

What could she say to the fantastic foolybear
and what could she say to brother
and what could she say
                      to the cat with future feet
and what could she say to mother
after that time that she lay lush
                                 among the lolly flowers
         on that hot riverbank
                 where ferns fell away in the broken air
                         of the breath of her lover
     and birds went mad
                       and threw themselves from trees
   to taste still hot upon the ground
                                     the spilled sperm seed

Lawrence Ferlinghetti

EVERYBODY LOVES A DISCOUNT! Yes, we have the two sides of our brain — the side that desires, and the side that rationalizes! Today I am speaking to both. If you subscribe to Planet Waves Astrology News (our weekly subscriber edition) for six months, you will get Small World Stories included. Astrology News arrives twice a week — you get seven horoscopes a month, many excellent articles, the monthly birthday report and six years of archives…and with Small World Stories, you have the annual horoscope for all 12 signs, many articles and our minor planet encyclopedia. This offer is good for this weekend only! So sign up today, get some fabulous services and help sponsor Planet Waves. (Note, if you want to subscribe for a year, we have an even better offer — call Chelsea at (877) 453-8265 and if you don’t get her leave a message — she’ll call you back.

Aspects for April 18 are courtesy of Serennu

Amor (26+ Aries) quintile Nessus (14+ Aquarius)
Mars (18+ Cancer) quincunx Quaoar (18+ Sagittarius Rx)
Mercury (1+ Taurus) quincunx M87 (1+ Libra)
Mercury (1+ Taurus) trine Pluto (1+ Capricorn Rx)
Mercury (1+ Taurus) conjunct Asbolus (1+ Taurus)
Juno (29+ Sagittarius) square Aries Point (0+ Aries) - Near Miss
Juno stations retrograde (29+ Sagittarius)
Vesta (29+ Pisces) square Juno (29+ Sagittarius Rx)
Venus (15+ Aries) septile Neptune (23+ Aquarius)
Apollo (19+ Cancer) square Sisyphus (19+ Libra Rx)
Mars (19+ Cancer) quintile M87 (1+ Libra)
Sisyphus (19+ Libra Rx) septile Orcus (28+ Leo Rx)
Mercury (1+ Taurus) trine Saturn (1+ Virgo Rx)
Sun (29+ Aries) sesquiquadrate Great Attractor (14+ Sagittarius)
Arachne (2+ Libra Rx) quintile Great Attractor (14+ Sagittarius)
Mercury (2+ Taurus) quincunx Arachne (2+ Libra Rx)
Eros (13+ Taurus) opposite Hidalgo (13+ Scorpio Rx)

Aug 08, 2003 - Aquarius - Weekly

This week’s stunning Aquarius lunation may not assuage your fears and misgivings permanently, but you feel the possibility of a life in which you can meet the world on equal terms. Part of your insecurity is the result of Neptune’s presence in your sign, which is melting all those crystals you usually use to hold your personality together. It’s also working through the layers of faux Aquarian certainty that do little other than isolate you from people and new information. Feelings are subtle, and you will never quite feel the way the people around you do. But they are offering you a lot of very constructive guidance right now, and a fine lesson in being alive.