Dear Friend and Reader,
If you find yourself sitting around over the holidays, unable to decide between watching It’s a Wonderful Life (again) and Four Christmases, then I’d like to recommend a great indie film:В Varnum v. Brien. It has a cliff-hanger of an ending, and it’s on limited release on Iowa’s local news sites, but it’s — by far — the best performance I’ve ever seen from Santa Clause.
In it, the Grinch Who Stole Marriage (Assistant Polk County Attorney Roger Kuhle) is trying to stop the people of Iowa from achieving marriage equality.В “Marriage and procreation are central to the survival of the human race,” the Grinch cackled, waving a bony finger at Iowa’s supreme court justices.
When pushed on the procreation argument, the Grinch argued that children need to be raised by their biological parents. The justices argued that closed adoption is legal in Iowa, meaning the state believes that biology is not necessary for good parenting. Also, infertile heterosexual couples are allowed to marry, so procreation can’t be central to the definition of marriage.В
I believe this is when the Grinch replied, “I’m five minutes over my time.”
And a few minutes after that, Santa (Attorney Dennis Johnson) stood up to state his case.
He mentioned one of the plaintiffs’ children, a 10 year old girl, who was told by her teacher that she couldn’t talk about her family on “family day” because her parents weren’t married. He referenced theВ Brown v. Board of Ed decision,В which criminalized separate-but-equal facilities:В “to separate them from others of similar age and qualifications solely because of their race generates a feeling of inferiority as to their status in the community that may affect their hearts and minds in a way unlikely ever to be undone.”