Hi there Dr.Jan!
I’ve been wanting to ask something I find hard to put into words, but I’ll try. I’m not sure how much astrological information to give either but here’s what I’d love some help with, if possible.
I’ve never really ‘fit in’ with this culture very well. I am extremely sensitive both emotionally and psychically and am a professional artist who lives a quiet, solitary life that is deeply rich and spiritually active. I have a packed 12th house in Scorpio (Sun, Venus, Mercury-Rx, Saturn, Pallas, Juno) and an 11th house Libra moon exactly conjunct Neptune; Sagittarius rising is conjunct Ceres.
As I get older (I am now in my mid-50’s) I feel myself retreating even further from what is going on in this culture because it is so exceedingly out of balance and an anathema to everything that I value personally. Is it healthy to choose to disconnect with ‘the world’ when it seems that most of what is happening ‘out there’ (in our American culture especially) is toxic, dysfunctional and verging on the point of madness? When I was younger I used to feel that I could ‘make a difference’ by contributing my energy and time in various ways. But now it seems as if who I am and what I have cultivated in terms of inner process is not anything that is useful to anyone else except myself.
I do not mean this in an elitist way, it is just that I see the struggle between the warring factions is reaching a fever pitch out in the outer world, and I refuse to be a part of that war any more. I am not depressed or suicidal, I’m just deeply spiritual and inwardly oriented but living in a culture that seems to have gone mad and is terribly out of balance. I cannot fix that. I can only attend to what is here within me, and in that case, I prefer to minimize my contact with what most people consider is ‘normal’.
So my question is: Is it healthy for some people to withdraw from society and ‘culture’ when it is simply too toxic to be immersed in it any more?
A second question that may spark a good article would be about dreams. How does one know when a dream is more of a ‘personal’ type dream or when one is more of a ‘collective’ type dream? I’ve always been curious to hear how people feel about these different kinds of dreams.
Thanks so much for this rare and wonderful opportunity! I look forward to any and all of your writings.
Very Sincerely,
Sally
Dear Sally,
I am not an astrological expert, so I would love to hear what readers with more knowledge than I have to say about your planets. I do know enough to know that you have been on a deeply spiritual journey which seems to have reached a culmination; I’ve also recently been introduced to Hellenistic astrology, which shows how the planets in our natal chart move into new houses at mid-life. Your experience of a significant shift in your being supports that movement.
I can, however, answer the psychological part of your question, “Is it healthy for some people to withdraw from society and ‘culture’ when it is simply too toxic to be immersed in it any more?” with a resounding YES! I’m guessing those reading are agreeing with me and thinking it doesn’t take advanced study in psychology to know that you are on the right path. Just for good measure, though, I’ll add that a true measure of psychological health (and remember, psychology has its roots in the word ‘soul’) is having the self-awareness to understand when an environment is toxic and out of balance, and to have the courage and self-determination to choose another path — even when it means you must walk that path alone. Carl Jung said “Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakes.” Your thoughtful insights show that you are awake to the dream that most people consider to be reality.
And speaking of dreams, ”How does one know when a dream is a more ‘personal’ type dream or when one is more of a ‘collective type’ dream?” Great question, and this time, the answer is ‘both’; dreams are always a consolidation and representation of both the personal and the collective. While this is not to discount those dreams that feel like ‘big’ dreams, the ones that stay with us for a long time and may even change the course of our conscious lives forever, it is safe to say that every dream contains an element of each.
A great, fun way to work with our dreams is to see how the symbols that are deeply personal can also represent the collective, and vice versa. An example from the personal archives: my daughter recently had a dream that she went to a doctor, who told her that she had three days to live. This came as a surprise to her, because she was feeling great! But based on the doctor’s prognosis, she got her affairs in order, collected a box of things from myself, her dad, and her grandmother to go with her to the afterlife, died, and was buried. After several days of being buried, she ‘woke up’ and came back to join us all in the regular world.
When my daughter awoke from this dream in real life, she asked me to help her to analyze the dream. We discussed how the dream had to do with transitions she is making in her life (her birthday is this week), and how it is natural to feel like you are dying when transitions happen. We also talked about how I sometimes over-worry that she is not on the right track, and then I induce that worry in her. This upsets and confuses her, because in general she feels that she is doing great (which, of course, she is!). We also spoke about the dentist appointment she would be having later that morning, and her anxieties about it. And then my daughter, ever pragmatic, said “You know, Mom, the real problem is that the doctor I went to (in the dream) was not a very good doctor!” And we agreed that, given a prognosis of only three days to live, you should always get a second opinion.
What I didn’t mention to her is that in her astrological chart, Hades is conjunct Saturn and she is destined, like Persephone, to be in the underworld part of the time. (I figure I’ll save that for when she’s turning ten.) In this way we see how her very personal concerns mingle with her unconscious awareness of one of the major collective archetypes that will describe her life journey.
Sally, I hope this was helpful, and thank you for the rare and wonderful opportunity to share your journey and answer your questions! It has been my privilege over these past several weeks to engage in a dialogue with so many thoughtful, awake, sensitive, aware individuals. Planet Waves readers rock! Keep your letters coming.
Blessings,
Jan
As a Libra Sun, Moon in Leo, Mercury in Libra, Venus in Libra, and Chiron in Aquarius, I have always been sensitive to energy and emotions in others. An old pattern of mine was to just leave the scene energetically which leaves a void in my childhood remembrances. I had to learn a couple of years ago by attending a school specializing in energy and psychological boundaries, etc., that I could stay in my body in spite of what I was sensing and allow each person their own expression of their experience without their energy freaking me out – grounding has become an art form for me as well as staying in the present moment – thank you Eckhart Tolle!
We are all impacting and impacted by everything that occurs on this planet and beyond and so whether you are living a physically isolated life or not, you are still contributing to the mass consciousness exchange. I too went through quite a long period of isolation, not one that I chose consciousnessly, and now that I am 52 (really!!!), I now feel comfortable around all energy. Yes, I still get triggered, as we all do, but the name of the game is how you respond to it. Allowing your awareness to experience all energies is spreading the love of the universe all around; love is the only energy anyway. And what you give, you will always receive many times over.
Take each day as a wonderful experiment or game in which we get to play with the energy we are sensing; notice how you feel without judgment, just notice the feeling you have, focus on grounding if necessary or just notice your breath, your diaphram moving. Then tell yourself, that’s interesting, smile and enjoy your day! Yes, this takes practice but being mindful or having awareness will present the choice to others energetically, that they are safe to do the same. Life becomes an energetic school and playground where no one is graded or put in a corner. Life respects life.
Blessings to you on your journey…
I’m someone with a 12th House Sun, Chiron and Mercury, though Mars in Aries in the 1st makes things interesting — people think, when they meet me, that I am a fire sign.
With Pluto, Venus, and Mars in fire signs in the 6th, 10th and 1st, and sun in the 12th, I am less a swirling mass of contradictions, but a swirl of energy that heats up the furnaces in my public life.
I tell you though, having a Pisces Ascendant does add a particular poignancy — that’s the part where I can only be the life of the party so long until I make a break to my bedroom, shut the door, and tune out all the guests in my own house. The stimulus gets to be too much!
Dr. Seward: Thank you for a response that many of us will find especially validating in these times when conscience is either questioned or neglected. Also, many thanks for the useful advice on dreams – the recent Neptune influence seems to have corresponded with increased dream activity for many people.
Sally :
Just a few things on your astrology (leaving the floor open for others). The most striking thing is how you described yourself to Dr. Seward and the question you posed. All of that is very so characteristic of a 12th house Sun. Clearly you are in touch with it. It’s not the easiest placement be cause the Sun has a lot to do with ego and the 12th house has a lot to do with dissolving ego boundaries. Dr Seward’s answer to you is a good way to approach that potentially self-critical combination.
The late Robert Blaschke said people with a natal retrograde Mercury “are more aware of their own internal stream of thought than thy are of what is going on around them.”. In the 12th house that tendency would be reinforced. Once again, be aware of being too critical of yourself. You deserve and need affirmation and validation and need to be your own best friend in that way.
Hello Sally
Two thoughts — one is what exactly do you mean by withdraw? That really would seem to be more of a shift of emphasis; for as long as you’re in a body, you’re going to be part of society. But given the degree that we tend to negate our inner lives by being part of society, looking inward can feel radical and the idea of doing so can feel daunting.
Vis a vis dreams, your question reminds me of something that Melanie Reinhart once said about sorting out “collective” dreams. Dreams can indeed represent the collective, but they manifest in our personal consciousness. We need to follow an order of operations: taking them as personal material first, then as collective material (if applicable) second.
“This is a boundary issue,” she said. Work with the material; integrate it for yourself, then see in what ways it influences the larger realm of the society you’re in. This would make sense considering that you seem to be shifting your emphasis in the direction of your inner life.
Eric Francis
Jan,
Thanks for sharing this. This part resonates with me: “I’ve never really ‘fit in’ with this culture very well. I am extremely sensitive both emotionally and psychically..”
I am also very practical and down-to-earth. Being a Global Nomad (aka Third-Culture Kid) has left me unable to know how to be a friend or make friends. I don’t fit in anywhere (though PW is a pretty good place for me….most of the time).
I love your advice about being healthy enough to get away from toxic relationships or situations; that is perfect.
Thanks for being a part of PW.