Too Many Bananas in This Bunch

By Maria Padhila

It is the last day of vacation, and we’re down to the last banana. This is a miracle of timing and targeted consumption, because I managed to get way too many bananas, for which Isaac has been teasing me all week. “Heh heh, why don’t you eat another banana? Oh, you already had one banana this morning?” etc., in his best Beavis and Butthead style.

Poly Paradise at Burning Man. Photo by Eric.

So this is why you’re getting a random bunch of bananas this week.

First, the Showtime poly show, Married and Dating, is back for another season. In the quad, Jen, is always the black sheep, the one who asks questions and pushes the group; I’ve got a soft spot for her — well, she’s dating a mono guy. This synopsis on Gawker is remarkable for its combination of empathy and critical eye. Here’s a chunk:

What “Polyamory” captures so precisely is the joy of talking about sex — the great American pastime of sitting down with friends (or lovers) and unpacking whatever crazy relationship situation you find yourself in at any given moment.

There’s a particular exhilaration when it comes to polyamory because there’s no normative model, nor could there be. The complex interplay of feelings and comfort levels expands and alters as more people are added to the mix. A new consensus dictates new rules. And even as you determine how everything fits in the first place, you find yourself relating to society hand-in-hand-in-hand — a different way of presenting all together.

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8 Responses to Too Many Bananas in This Bunch

  1. skipntro says:

    Maria, thank you for your love. Thank you for the love you put out into the World.

  2. Geoff says:

    P.S. Ms Winterson is a favourite author of mine, too. Not only that, she selected one of the best collections of eight records on the BBC’s long-running Desert Island Discs program(me).
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/player/p0093q7x

  3. Geoff says:

    Thanks for the reply, Maria. I’m not sure I’m the right person to answer a q&a on matters sexual – Sun and Moon Aquarius, celibate gay man, now sterilised by chemo/radiotherapy for cancer (my 8th house, of course). Sorry if I gave the wrong impression (Venus conjunct natal Neptune today) but wanted to give you a little encouraging input from this side of the pond.
    I would guess that facebook or Twitter would be a better option for finding out what Britain thinks of polyamory in this seemingly unswinging 21st century. There’s probably a lot more going on under the surface than ever could have been imagined.
    All good wishes.
    Geoff

  4. DivaCarla DivaCarla says:

    Polyamory – Greek for “loving many” – is the practice of being in multiple emotionally invested relationships with the full consent of all parties involved.

    succinct definition! Thanks Jude,

    And thank you Maria. I read you every time, quietly from the edges of my mono world, gazing over into the unknown relationship terrain of the rest of my life.

  5. mariapadhila says:

    Thank you for adding to the bunch! More bananas please, and peaches and mangoes and what all! Bananas are not the only fruit, to paraphrase a writer I like ;) @geoff I saw that programme (supercool I get to use extra letters) also written about today–with a more inflammatory headline proclaiming something like the death of monogamy–well, no, and neither is there any reason for it to die. Might you or another person you know be interested on doing a q&a from your culture’s perspective? We get the same kind of thing here–”oh, that’s something those people in Sweden or Brazil do” attitude. I think difference is a backhanded pride in America’s weirdos and eccentrics–there’s still a spirit of, see, we allow for anything out here on the wild and free frontier!

  6. Judith Gayle Judith Gayle says:

    I so enjoy your column, Maria, and appreciate your writing style but I confess that I don’t follow the topic too closely so I don’t know if this article I ran across has been posted here before, but I thought the info added to the discussion.
    http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/08/love-without-boundaries/

  7. Geoff says:

    As you may be aware, Maria, polyamory is almost never discussed in the British media. There is, I think, a general feeling that we just don’t do that sort of thing! You can imagine my surprise, therefore, when I looked at the Top 10 list of most-read articles on today’s BBC website and found:
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23726120
    Like many articles in the Magazine section it trails a programme, in this case on Radio 4, the BBC’s talk and drama station. It will be downloadable after transmission on Tuesday (EDT), although I’m not sure it will be available in all domains. Word is spreading!
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b038c0fj

  8. Sarah Taylor Sarah Taylor says:

    Superb, Maria – thank you!

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