Note: We’ll have a fresh, new column from Maria tomorrow (Feb. 15) in the afternoon. But to commemorate Valentine’s Day (and to remind anyone struggling with relationships that Eric’s horoscopes are the best in the business for shifting to a more holistic perspective in that realm), I wanted to offer this column from last year. — Amanda
By Maria Padhila
I’ve been reading horoscopes since I was 12 and they were telling me that Aries was my super sexy love match. I like to think I grew up; most of the horoscopes didn’t.
I do a lot of searching and consolidating so I can get a lot of different points of view out there. I do that with horoscopes, too. So I can tell you pretty authoritatively that if you’re getting the Planet Waves subscriber horoscopes, you’re getting the best weekly and monthly horoscopes out there. I’ve cried — and occasionally done the spit-take — reading the Friday horoscopes before because they just managed to capture the whole picture so precisely.
I know there’s a lot of other content that goes with the twice-weekly emails to subscribers, and that a subscription comes with a lot of extra access to content in all the areas that Planet Waves writers are subject-matter experts: astrology, tarot, sex, politics, trees, humor. But people really want horoscopes, and they deserve really great ones — and Planet Waves is about the only great source I’ve found. Here’s why — and then I’ll get to a little commentary on the latest from the poly scene, as we approach that cultural relationship panic-button that is Valentine’s Day:
Most other horoscopes are short. Even the really good ones, like dailies from Cainer or weeklies from Rob Brezney’s Free Will Astrology, don’t give the combination length and depth, weekly and monthly, of Eric’s at Planet Waves.
They’re not all in one voice, all the time. While the weekly horoscopes and primary monthly horoscopes are written by Eric, Planet Waves has a staff and functions somewhat like a collective. You also get the Moonshine Horoscopes (twice-monthly horoscopes for your Moon sign) and input from other writers.
They’re by thoughtful people for thoughtful people. Grown-ups, like I said before. These aren’t coming from the perspective of some kind of fake guru telling you what to do or a con person telling you what you want to hear. They’re really the product of an effort to get a clue or two about how individual humans, in their complexity, fit into a moving, interesting, diverse universe of relationships.
They’re by people. Many horoscopes you find online are written by machines. A collection of phrases are cobbled together depending on aspect or position, without taking the events of the day or the relationships among the objects into consideration. Even if the raw material is by an excellent astrologer, it’s still cut-and-pasted and loses much of its richness in the process. You get all the signs.
For poly people, that’s pretty important. I mean I’m reading my sign, my ascendant, my husband’s sign and ascendant, my boyfriend’s sign and ascendant, and often a few other folks as well. So it helps that Isaac is a triple Virgo and Chris, Virgo ascendant; that’s one less sign to check out. But still. Some services only give you one sign at a time.
No ads. Even some of the subscriber services out there will give you something popping up in your face. There’s a whole class of horoscopes that throw out a line or two about your love stars and then tell you that the planets recommend you buy a certain brand of (poisonous) lip gloss or conditioner or dress differently, believe it or not. I know it’s unlikely that men run into this kind, but they’re out there, and they’re dull. Beyond these annoyances is the way you never know if you’re helping to support something you would rather not give money to, from Monsanto crops to a right-wing-owned fast-food franchise. Which leads us to…
Transparency. I’ve subscribed to Planet Waves for at least a dozen years — I know I’ve been following Eric’s writing for at least 15 years, but I can’t remember when I started subscribing. The deal is, I know where the money for my subscription is going: to Eric and his staff. It’s like buying a piece of art from the artist or a CD from the musician at the show. It’s the kind of direct understanding that’s getting harder to get today. (I don’t get paid to write for Planet Waves, by the way. I get paid to write by other people so I can pay other writers to read their work. There are some things to like about the marketplace!)
So those are all the reasons why the Planet Waves horoscopes make sense to a consumer. But as with anything we buy — exchanging money, which is a form of energy, in return for another kind of energy — we need to think about our part in the exchange as well. A product may be great and green and well produced to fill a need, but if the place where it comes from doesn’t reflect your values, it’s not a good place to put your energy.
My early experiences with horoscopes came from Cosmopolitan magazine, which was highly committed to astrology, especially in the early 1970s. Each year, the magazine would issue a special, small supplement booklet called “The Cosmo Girl’s Bedside Astrologer,” which my friends and I would pore over into the night at slumber parties. At 13, it told me to wear green in March — shocking — and on the day I did, I got my first kiss. That Cosmo had some good astrologers, all right!
I actually love the Cosmo scopes, because they’re so camp. Once at a poetry reading, a guy I know used his Sun sign description from the Cosmo Bedside Astrologer as his introduction bio, substituting his name for his sign, and everyone was looking confused and askance at Austin Powers-era lines like “But look out when Barrett’s feeling randy — his delightfully earthy bedroom style will have you grateful that he never leaves a job unfinished!” Except the trashy types like me, who recognized where it was coming from. Truth or dare: I dare you to try this next time you have to give a speech.
The most important reason I subscribed to Planet Waves is that it’s the only astrology provider committed, as a high priority, not to come from a heteronormative perspective. Eric has taken this chance and made this commitment for years; he’s not recently to the table. It takes a lot to stand up for this way of being as legit and livable.
This isn’t a simple matter of, oh, well we’ll mention gay couples once in a while, too. It goes the whole nine yards. It recognizes every form of relationship, and puts directly at the center the relationship with self, the one given short shrift. You’re not supposed to have a deep relationship with yourself, you know. Back in my slumber party days, they called that “conceited”; today, you’ll get branded a “narcissist.” But the reality is that fear or profit means some people benefit from you not being too deeply in touch with what you want and need most. Planet Waves horoscopes, each week, direct people back to that essential core of relationship. At Planet Waves, you are your own Super Sexy Sun Sign Love Match.
Hey, I’m a Libra — I know all about relationship. And what’s more, my friends, I have never slept with an Aries. Yeah, that’s right. It may take me a while to remember every name, but the sign data, that I’ve got down.
Currently in poly world, the heteronormative is getting a workout and a throwdown. Along with the big bubble in media and general buzz that’s happening with polyamory is coming a lot of re-examination, and it’s extremely exciting.
The whole sense of “OK, we’re willing to accept this poly thing if it means a couple and their girlfriend” thing is exploding. Poly people are looking at ways to define themselves and their own relationships that don’t involve talking about what we’re NOT, but what our relationships ARE. And some people aren’t even looking to define them at all, not in any terms that would be recognized.
It’s a time of birth of a new way of looking at relationship itself, at identity, and at orientation, and there are a lot more questions than answers. I’m looking hard into how I can loosen up the heteronormativity of my own relationships, and whether it’s possible to step outside the heterosexual couple model when one is raising children.
I’ll leave you with this essay from the Sex Geek blog that went viral and has been provoking a lot of discussion. I hope it gets you talking as well:
Polyamory is presented as a thing that a couple does, as opposed to a relationship philosophy and approach that individual people ascribe to, as a result of which they may end up as part of a couple but — because poly! — may just as well be partnered with six people, or part of a triad, or single, or what have you. With this norm, the whole premise of multiple relationships is narrowed down to what sounds, essentially, like a hobby that a traditionally committed pair of people decide to do together, like taking up ballroom dancing or learning to ski. So much for a radical re-thinking of human relationships. So much for anyone who doesn’t come pre-paired.
Have you tried the Planet Waves premium membership? Sign up for a six-month membership and receive weekly and monthly horoscopes by Eric Francis, plus more. Eric’s horoscopes offer perspectives on your relationships, family dynamics, career and creativity like no other horoscopes online.