13 thoughts on “With love from the American Midwest”
well then, this meditation, paid me six fold. I still find myself in awe of the manifestations of the mind. Self transformation . . . what can I say?
eric, I am curious as to how you feel when you become aware that you are in the gaze?
Okay, I could blame this one on mom. It’s not polite to stare.
What happened to what are you lookin at? Take a picture, it lasts longer (you got that one right). Breaking the gaze, you know.
Let me dig back in the files, the files of the special relationship. We shared the same digs and sometimes we were there at the same time. I might be focussed on something and I look to him and he has been watching me and is in that deep gaze. I am feeling pretty warm about that right now. Where he is I have not a clue,I could ask, he could try to tell, but I can never really know what he is experiencing in those moments. There is indeed a mystery to that gaze.
Then there is Debby’s mom. I would run into her somewhere and we would chat and she would stare at my breasts the whole time. I got to the point where I said to myself why is she staring at my breasts? Check the mirror, oh yeah, they are quite prominent.
This is good for me to look at. I know I have experienced discomfort when speaking with men while we both stand. We talk but then their eyes start the body scan. I am thinking now that I will allow that to happen.
And I know I had to work through mr special casting the gaze in a different direction. Fear of loss is a tuff one. Loss of my love. Never crossed the joint account line. Like loss of that other thing.
Mr special once bought a playboy mag. There’s like an end of the year body bonanza or something. He was spending time gazing between the tv and the mag with his feet propped up on his desk (very small digs). I gazed at this activity for a few evenings and then I took a bottle of glue and spread it all over the centerfold and closed the mag. So next night he takes his position. And is, like usual turning the pages while watching the tube. I am on watch for this one. His fingers start rubbing the corner of the page ever more furiously while his eyes are on the tube. Then he focuses on the mag and with two hands is trying to pry the pages apart. He looks to me smiling at him and says, you glued these pages together. Me? Naa.
I have my own special problem. I oftentimes can better hear content of words and concepts in conversation if I don’t make eye contact. I find it easier to focus on what is being said. Visual stimuli overload.
What I keep getting in all this is variations of speed. There is something in the brain called the corpus colloscum (?), it’s the information highway. Female’s look like the super highway. And male’s, the donkey trail. It’s got to do with processing speed. Females are naturally able to process faster and multi task, due to the child rearing factor. The great thing about working awareness, is that I can choose what to process, or not. It’s got nothing to do with intuition, I think both sexes run on it. This is getting really sloppy. All I really see is a roll of movie film, the separate frames and the space between.
That reminded me of something I read in “Brida” by Paulo Coelho that really stood out for me.
The Magus says to Brida, “When you have sex, take with you to bed only love and your senses, all five of them.”
I love that line.
It’s getting out of the trappings of one’s mind – what’s right, what’s wrong, memories, judgments, fears, desire, guilt, expectations, assumptions, the list goes on – and allowing the moment to be pure, visceral, wondrous. Beautiful.
For a long time I had an idea that my book of blue project was about shifting the male gaze through the use of mirrors, in various contexts, which in part implied self-awareness. At the same time I was claiming the privilege of visual pleasure when looking at women. Then I learned that part of the male gaze theory involved denying that very pleasure as ostensibly ‘pornographic’, and shattering a concept of beauty that I felt I was gently transforming into something soulful and clear. I love the idea of creating a space to appreciate the visual pleasure of women with full awareness and without an ulterior motive or any presumed prejudice that it is taking something away from the humanity of women.
Photographic “screw ups” can be some of the best. I really miss the old double exposures.
The new exhibit sounds good.
the orbs are lens flare, as I am photographing straight into the sun, something one is allegedly not supposed to do
It’s lens flare.
I am thinking of doing an exhibition called The Male Gaze, celebrating this.
I was just thinking, it sure takes alot of trust or something.
I missed the male glaze. I’m not sure. The sun suggests heat. Don’t fry your brain lassie.
How did those three orbs get there? What is that?
yes.
If I think this is a hot photo, is it just my Male Gaze acting up?
Do cheerleaders fly?
Old pom poms never die.
Thanks for sharing this, it brings back memories of my time at UW-Madison. Grins!
well then, this meditation, paid me six fold. I still find myself in awe of the manifestations of the mind. Self transformation . . . what can I say?
eric, I am curious as to how you feel when you become aware that you are in the gaze?
Okay, I could blame this one on mom. It’s not polite to stare.
What happened to what are you lookin at? Take a picture, it lasts longer (you got that one right). Breaking the gaze, you know.
Let me dig back in the files, the files of the special relationship. We shared the same digs and sometimes we were there at the same time. I might be focussed on something and I look to him and he has been watching me and is in that deep gaze. I am feeling pretty warm about that right now. Where he is I have not a clue,I could ask, he could try to tell, but I can never really know what he is experiencing in those moments. There is indeed a mystery to that gaze.
Then there is Debby’s mom. I would run into her somewhere and we would chat and she would stare at my breasts the whole time. I got to the point where I said to myself why is she staring at my breasts? Check the mirror, oh yeah, they are quite prominent.
This is good for me to look at. I know I have experienced discomfort when speaking with men while we both stand. We talk but then their eyes start the body scan. I am thinking now that I will allow that to happen.
And I know I had to work through mr special casting the gaze in a different direction. Fear of loss is a tuff one. Loss of my love. Never crossed the joint account line. Like loss of that other thing.
Mr special once bought a playboy mag. There’s like an end of the year body bonanza or something. He was spending time gazing between the tv and the mag with his feet propped up on his desk (very small digs). I gazed at this activity for a few evenings and then I took a bottle of glue and spread it all over the centerfold and closed the mag. So next night he takes his position. And is, like usual turning the pages while watching the tube. I am on watch for this one. His fingers start rubbing the corner of the page ever more furiously while his eyes are on the tube. Then he focuses on the mag and with two hands is trying to pry the pages apart. He looks to me smiling at him and says, you glued these pages together. Me? Naa.
I have my own special problem. I oftentimes can better hear content of words and concepts in conversation if I don’t make eye contact. I find it easier to focus on what is being said. Visual stimuli overload.
What I keep getting in all this is variations of speed. There is something in the brain called the corpus colloscum (?), it’s the information highway. Female’s look like the super highway. And male’s, the donkey trail. It’s got to do with processing speed. Females are naturally able to process faster and multi task, due to the child rearing factor. The great thing about working awareness, is that I can choose what to process, or not. It’s got nothing to do with intuition, I think both sexes run on it. This is getting really sloppy. All I really see is a roll of movie film, the separate frames and the space between.
That reminded me of something I read in “Brida” by Paulo Coelho that really stood out for me.
The Magus says to Brida, “When you have sex, take with you to bed only love and your senses, all five of them.”
I love that line.
It’s getting out of the trappings of one’s mind – what’s right, what’s wrong, memories, judgments, fears, desire, guilt, expectations, assumptions, the list goes on – and allowing the moment to be pure, visceral, wondrous. Beautiful.
For a long time I had an idea that my book of blue project was about shifting the male gaze through the use of mirrors, in various contexts, which in part implied self-awareness. At the same time I was claiming the privilege of visual pleasure when looking at women. Then I learned that part of the male gaze theory involved denying that very pleasure as ostensibly ‘pornographic’, and shattering a concept of beauty that I felt I was gently transforming into something soulful and clear. I love the idea of creating a space to appreciate the visual pleasure of women with full awareness and without an ulterior motive or any presumed prejudice that it is taking something away from the humanity of women.
Photographic “screw ups” can be some of the best. I really miss the old double exposures.
The new exhibit sounds good.
the orbs are lens flare, as I am photographing straight into the sun, something one is allegedly not supposed to do
It’s lens flare.
I am thinking of doing an exhibition called The Male Gaze, celebrating this.
I was just thinking, it sure takes alot of trust or something.
I missed the male glaze. I’m not sure. The sun suggests heat. Don’t fry your brain lassie.
How did those three orbs get there? What is that?
yes.
If I think this is a hot photo, is it just my Male Gaze acting up?
Do cheerleaders fly?
Old pom poms never die.
Thanks for sharing this, it brings back memories of my time at UW-Madison. Grins!