Yesterday’s first quarter Moon may very well have brought to your emotional awareness a certain inner tension that your consciousness (represented by the Sun) will continue to work through over the next couple days. The main players are the Sun, newly in Gemini, making a T-square with centaur object Nessus in Pisces and asteroid Pallas in Virgo (exact today).
One of the hallmarks of the Sun in Gemini is the need to recognize duality, but to do so in a way that gives you an inroad to synthesizing opposing concepts. Without that sense of synthesis, it can be easy to slip into compartmentalization, or into a sense of being divided against oneself in a way that leads to confusion (and often negative thought loops that ping-pong from one extreme to another and back again). It’s hard to make progress if you can’t identify what you really want, or how you really feel, or what would truly be best for you.
The Gemini Sun squaring Nessus in Pisces is a picture of the inner tension generated when early caregivers transgress the boundary between themselves and ourselves by projecting their own negativity about creative expression onto us. Chances are, anyone doing so was similarly transgressed against and is unconsciously (usually) passing along their own hurt to us.
In part the link to early caregivers comes through Gemini’s symbol being twin youths; it is emphasized by the connection Nessus has to abusive or potentially inappropriate contact as an intergenerational pattern. Often Nessus is linked to sexual themes, but sexual energy and creative energy share the same root. In Pisces, that connection is even more vibrant.
Nessus also carries the theme of ‘stopping the buck’; the question is, how?
That brings us to Pallas in Virgo, which is opposite Nessus and also square the Sun. In mythology, the goddess Pallas Athene was a warrior, strategist and politician. In Virgo, those themes can take on a practical, grounded, precise quality — yet depending on the stimulus, the energy of Pallas can also take the shape of defensiveness in the form of being hypercritical.
Square the Gemini Sun, that could even be a form of self-criticism; say, the kind people engage in as a way of ‘protecting’ the ego from the criticism of others. If you beat them to it, if you practice the art of being too much of a perfectionist ever to express yourself fully, then you don’t have to face down those parents/relatives/authorities who’ve already undercut you.
The Gemini Sun is shining the light on both sides of that equation so you can see it for what it is: a dead-end loop, a seesaw between a message from the past and a present-day defense mechanism. Once you can see that, you can choose how to reconcile the energies.
That is, you can engage the Gemini Sun’s power to mirror yourself to yourself: “Internalized fuzzy boundary between me and that early caregiver, say hello to the way I’ve misused that pain as a defense mechanism. Creativity, please say hello to the small but practical skills I need to learn and steps I can take (including therapy) as I plan my strategy for healing and expressing what I have to offer.”
Consider also that Mars is still barely moving after having stationed direct in Libra on Monday. The “what do I want” question may still be hanging in the air without a clear answer; it’s another seesaw image. However, yesterday’s square between the Pisces Moon and the Sun may have offered some hints through your emotional body.
As the Sun continues to look for leverage between Nessus and Pallas today, keep that information in mind. It might very well feel scary. Ask yourself what’s scarier, though: acknowledging what gets your creative juices flowing, or continuing to defend yourself from living.