The astrology this week is asking a question: what is your relationship to truth? It seems like such a simple and obvious question at first, but there are many ways we compromise that relationship, with various levels of awareness.
Take, for example, the cultural imperative to ‘try to be nice’ — which often amounts to just being passive in place of being clear, direct and honest. And then when problems arise because the other person doesn’t ‘get it’, it’s that person’s fault for overstepping boundaries or ‘pushing’. It’s rarely seen to be the fault of the person who avoided clear honesty in favor of ‘being nice’.
People of both genders do it, but I’ve particularly noticed this self-defeating dynamic in women (including myself at times) when a man whom they’re not attracted to expresses interest. Maybe he’s a little too persistent; maybe he’s just lonely and socially awkward. But if all you keep saying is, ‘I’m busy that night’ when he asks you to a movie, can you blame him if he still has hope?
And if he continues to act on that hope, to the point where you feel uncomfortable in social situations, what is the more honest course of action: to ask friends and authority figures to exclude him for your protection because you think he’s ‘creepy’, or to let him know, clearly but compassionately, that you are not interested in dating him — but surely someone else will be?
That illustration is gender-weighted in one direction, but really, most of us get caught in the trap of ‘just trying to be nice’ at one time or another. Some make it a way of life, and find themselves pulled by guilt and obligations into all kinds of contortions and ‘white’ lies. We hate to feel ‘mean’, but often forget that the alternative can be much more cruel.
Or how about when we say, ‘Oh, I don’t have time,’ or ‘Oh, I don’t have any money,’ when what we really mean is, ‘I don’t have time/money for that.’
There is such a thing as having priorities, and budgeting time and money for those things, people and experiences we value most. But how can we tell when that’s the case, as opposed to using the ‘no time/money’ trope as a cover, so that we don’t have to express (to ourselves or others) that we simply are not interested? It’s kind of an extension of the ‘nice’ problem, since it means that thing, event or person in question just is not important to us. Are we afraid to be known for our values? Are we ashamed?
If there is a difference between having clear priorities and using an excuse, how often are we clear with ourselves about it? And if we are clear with ourselves, do we let that clarity shape our exchanges with others to reflect it? My sense is that often many of us allow things to get blurry — and that blurriness can work in both directions.
Since we’re talking about ideas, words and actions, what about this: how do you discern the difference between intuition versus paranoia or wishful thinking? Is there a system of objective checks and balances for such things? If you rely on your own inner moral/ethical compass, do you have a way to run some kind of systems check on it once in a while?
Along similar lines, there is something to be said about the power of positive thinking and the law of attraction. From what I understand, there is collective benefit in individual joy and healing. But where is the line between delusional optimism (lying to oneself) and ‘raising one’s vibration’ by focusing on the joyful and the best possible outcome? Is there a difference, or is it just a matter of perspective?
Today’s square between Mercury in Sagittarius and Neptune in Pisces, and Mercury’s subsequent square to Chiron (also in Pisces) on Dec. 14, bring particular focus to questions about the places where our fuzzy thinking and evasive communication influence each other — and the potential for our attention to these issues to alter something fundamental within and without us. Mercury in a fire sign is trying to burn through the fog.
The Sagittarius Sun’s conjunctions to several shadow-raising centaurs points the arrow of our attention to family patterns around ‘truth’ that we may be continuing, giving us the opportunity to incorporate what we learn and make new choices. The Sun’s upcoming conjunction to the Galactic Core gets to the heart of the matter: if we could feel our connection to source all the time, how would it change our relationship to truth?
Or to put it a bit more tangibly: why are so many of us so afraid to believe fully that we are lovable as we are, without having to deceive anyone? What would have to change if we chose to be real, in those small, ordinary circumstances?