Venus opposite Neptune: Loving beyond projection

On Friday, just before 8:08 am EDT, Venus in Virgo will be exactly opposite Neptune in Pisces. Aspects to Neptune are notoriously slippery and tricky to work with; Venus aspecting Neptune tends to bring that slipperiness and some of Neptune’s more challenging qualities into the realm of love and attraction. What does it take to get a little traction with Venus and Neptune?

Poppy seed pods. Photo by Amanda Painter

Traditionally, an opposition between Venus and Neptune is described as being a caution against self-delusion and wearing rose-colored glasses. It can seem to offer a choice: satisfy your desire for personal love, or serve the higher vibration of love through sacrificing your personal interests.

It’s not very encouraging for most mere mortals.

So let’s try re-framing it. What would it take to love beyond delusion and projection?

Delusion could be defined as wanting to see things as we wish them to be, rather than as they are. What happens when we see things as they truly are?

It means that we have to admit we were wrong, and allow ourselves some grace for being human. That alone can be difficult.

In a relationship situation, allowing the other person that same grace for being human could lead to loving them more wholly for who they really are — or you could realize that it’s time to find a partner who is truly on the same page with you. You might have to find a situation that doesn’t require lots of rationalization to keep it going.

We can define projection as taking our own desires, fears, and baggage — our entire subjective experience — and assuming it is true for another person. What happens when we own all of our ‘stuff’ and allow another person to own all of their ‘stuff’? Can you stand the potential momentary jolt of feeling alone and individual, and hang with it long enough to feel a powerful clarity, or something like the two poles on a battery making a charge?

You could call it frisson via fission. The trick is to brave the thought of standing alone with yourself long enough and solidly enough to feel your own boundaries and that of the other person. It’s letting love come from a place of awe and joy — rather than ‘loving’ out of need or lack, and then looking to another to fill those areas.

So what do we have in the sky to help us move into a more enlightened take on Venus opposite Neptune? Well, Venus is in Virgo, where she’s a little cooler and has her feet on the ground and a keen mind. Neptune is swimming in the cosmic, creative, loving bath of Pisces.

But Venus is also sextile Saturn in Scorpio, and Saturn is still early in its process of dredging out a lot emotional gunk in the sign of sex, secrets and transformation. (Neptune is still trine Saturn, part of the evolving grand water trine.) Think of that channel that Saturn is clearing as being a space where Venus can set things in order — a safe container where you can get your hands a little muddy while you take responsibility for your projections, cut any delusions down to size, and let your heart flow with a clear current.

13 thoughts on “Venus opposite Neptune: Loving beyond projection”

  1. Thanks so much, dear Stormi and Daniel! Glad this week is better for you, am beginning to calm down too now and enjoy that full moon just gone by. But at the time it was as if all the spook and goblins were coming out to play – literally! I spent my birthday with friends who live in an old house in a village near the sea, and on the night before my birthday, was woken up by loud banging and creaking in the room off my bedroom, which then moved into my bedroom and somethng banged at one of the cupboard doors continuously and relentlessly. Terrifying!

  2. mia — for sure, there are many gifted artists in PW’s readership. my understanding is that eric scaled back quite a while ago on the amount of art we feature on the blog so that we can keep it more astrology-focused. i took a liberty with today’s post partly b/c it’s hard to show an opposition in just a section of a chart — you pretty much have to show the whole chart. and sometimes i just need a visual break from chart sections.

    🙂

  3. daniel and stormi — thank you for expanding the conversation!

    “Like any good relationship, there needs to be a quality of communication where I’m pushed off the ledge I’ve been clinging to and to see how my actions affect the other – and vice versa. There is a kindness being called upon here to say “I was wrong about that” not “I was wrong about you.” If it’s there, both individuals grow and there is a commitment to tomorrow.”

    for sure. thank you for rounding things out. by the light of day, i much prefer your phrasing to my own. it is more centered, has greater perspective, and perfectly connects individual growth to “a commitment to tomorrow.” for i think when love is truly in the mix, that consideration reaches in all directions, beyond just “here and now.”

  4. Thanks, Amanda!

    It looks like a UFO is peeking through the poppies. It would be great if PW would expand the art offered on it’s website. There are many readers who are gifted artists as well.

    Mia

  5. nicely said Stormi, nicely said.

    And I hope Lizzy you are okay! I had one of the most stressful weeks last week. Got mildly sick, had confrontations with bosses and VIPS that were tense and nasty toward me, and culminated in an insanely busy festival I worked. The heat here was beyond tolerable and it seemed to push everyone over the edge. I had to stand up and speak up for myself that was ultimately a good process for me. This week feels better and slowly more reconcilable, thank god…

  6. “…further to owning our own stuff, there is the allowance of perspective and of speaking up. This will no doubt push buttons but it is in our relating that we open a space in the relationship to go past just our own stuff and see how in fact we stonewall the other.”

    exactly the kind of dialogue i engage in. have found the communication starts within (owning my stuff) so that we can breathe it out to open up new space and consciously co-create that “safe container where you can get your hands a little muddy while you take responsibility for your projections, cut any delusions down to size, and let your heart flow with a clear current.” easier said than done, and done than said in some cases, but absolutely possible, and definitely preferable.

    happy belated birthday lizzie! you share it with another good friend of mine, what a blessed moon to have for it this year. cheers!

  7. Thank you, Amanda for a very thoughtful and grounded piece on a challenging subject. Given how Venus is so dominant in the westerns sky, and Neptune so dominant on the zodiac, it’s not only appropriate subject matter for the moment, it’s something to keep up front and center for the long term.

    Separate and grateful kudos for the photo which, like all great art, causes us to re-examine our consciousness. In my case, the iconic palm trees of Los Angeles will never look the same again.

  8. Right on. But further to owning our own stuff, there is the allowance of perspective and of speaking up. This will no doubt push buttons but it is in our relating that we open a space in the relationship to go past just our own stuff and see how in fact we stonewall the other. Like any good relationship, there needs to be a quality of communication where I’m pushed off the ledge I’ve been clinging to and to see how my actions affect the other – and vice versa. There is a kindness being called upon here to say “I was wrong about that” not “I was wrong about you.” If it’s there, both individuals grow and there is a commitment to tomorrow.

  9. “…satisfy your desire for personal love, or serve the higher vibration of love through sacrificing your personal interests.”
    I feel more comfortable with the second one 😉

  10. This is just beautiful, dear Amanda. Thank you, Just coming out of one of the hardest full moons in a long time, maybe cos it fell on my bday (yes, same day as a rather famous baby!), and many of the things you mention here are hitting me hard – not easy, but v necessary.

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