What would it take to bring on a sexual revolution? What about a relationship revolution? Perhaps more to the point, why do we need these things?
This week, Venus, a planet representing values, love and sex (among a few other things), passes through the Uranus-Pluto square. That’s the rare, slow-moving planetary pattern that I’ve been calling the 2012-era aspect.
Though I don’t toss the word around lightly, this is revolutionary astrology; according to astro-historian Rick Tarnas, the word ‘revolution’, in the political sense, came into common usage during a Uranus-Pluto phase associated with the French Revolution era in the late 18th century.
This happens as the Scorpio Sun and Taurus Moon approach full opposition — the Taurus Full Moon on Sunday. I’ll come back to that in a moment, though this month there is a third point in the Full Moon equation, the centaur planet Nessus in Aquarius. (View full chart here.) Nessus is taking the deeply personal material of Taurus/Scorpio and running all that intimate subject matter through the question of ‘what everyone else might think’.
Let’s stick to Venus for now, which is the ‘ruler’ of Taurus, and is also the ‘dispositor’ of the Full Moon. When we experience an inner planet such as Venus making direct contact with a vast, generation-defining aspect like Uranus square Pluto, the qualities of outer planets manifest personally, in ways we can feel, see and often experience directly.
That’s happening this week, as Venus in Capricorn makes a square to Uranus on Thursday evening and a conjunction to Pluto less than 24 hours later. The aspect has been in effect all week and will continue to have an influence through the weekend and perhaps a bit beyond, carried by the momentum of the Full Moon.
Venus contacting outer planets in this way is deep astrology, provoking both inner shifts and direct, physical experiences that might lead you to question your various relationship situations. You might be experiencing some form of desire that goes against the presumed rules. You might find yourself thinking, wanting to do, or actually doing things that would shock your mother.
This scenario takes the revolutionary energy of Uranus-Pluto and makes it as personal as it gets. In the sprit of this astrology, here is my handy five-point guide to sexual revolution.
1. Make friends with your desire — whatever you may want. Consider the idea that what you want is natural. Agonizing over ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ is a form of self-judgment. If you want to conduct yourself in a clear-headed and ethical way, judgment is not going to help. Making peace with how you feel and your most basic desire nature will definitely help.
2. Tell the truth about what you want, especially to the people you hold as intimates. Concealing desire and one’s true needs, it’s possible to live within a relationship in a totally deceptive way, as these needs really can represent our bottom line. I recognize that speaking the truth can have serious implications — a fact that is highly informative on its own. Make a list of everything you have not told your partner but want to, and see what that tells you.
3. Understand how you came to believe that the rules you think you’re supposed to follow are THE rules. Do you really think they are helpful or even possible to use meaningfully, or are you following along just because it seems like the thing to do?
4. Notice the ways you might project one thing but want or feel another. Are you trying to create an image of being prim, proper and pristine, while secretly wrestling with all kinds of murky and/or yummy stuff? Is this leading you to be something of a hypocrite, or to be caught in approach-avoid behavior? If you’re trying to convince yourself and everyone else that you’re a prude, what purpose is that serving?
5. Make contact with the dark side of desire — which could be jealousy, control, guilt or some form of self-destructive tendency. This can include what you think of as wrong. Where there is light there is shadow, especially here on the planet of dualism. The dark side needs to be in the conversation. When it’s denied, it becomes chaos. When engaged consciously, it has a way of becoming enlightenment, creativity and passion.
Here is a bonus sixth theme — what would it take for you to be an individual in your relationships? Often individuality is the first thing sacrificed for a relationship, which can only go so far. Eventually your ‘real self’ wakes up and wants to participate. The ‘real self’/’relationship self’ issue deserves a good look — and under the current astrology it just may get one.
This weekend’s Full Moon in Taurus (with the Sun in Scorpio) is likely to raise these questions even more poignantly than Venus-Uranus-Pluto would by itself, though there is a deeper issue: the extent to which the sexual wounding of others has a contagious quality. This Full Moon raises the issue of peer pressure, which is something that can stalk us all our lives unless we actually do something about it. In other words, many people respond to their own sense of injury by attempting to limit others, and this can result in some harsh cultural rules about what is supposedly appropriate.
You not only have the right to make decisions about what is right for you, based on your own values, you have a deep responsibility to yourself to do so. This is especially true when it comes to the decisions you make based on your physical body and your emotional state; decisions that are based on the love and sexual contact you want.
Mercury is still in Scorpio, moving with slow intensity after its recent retrograde. It’s approaching a trine to Chiron. You might find that people you’re close to are more open to a real conversation than you would have expected. If you are telling yourself you cannot talk about something because someone else might get upset, look deeper. Your choices certainly impact others, but your life is about you before it’s about anyone else.
It’s not a matter of either/or. It’s a matter of priorities.
Thanks for this interesting extract from Ed Strong, Eric. “Macaulay complained that he knew of “no spectacle so ridiculous as the British public in one of its periodical fits of morality”. They can also be dangerous, like the time they had a witch hunt against paedophilia (quite a few years ago) and many innocent peple were accused.
Ed Strong writes:
Beautiful! Thank you everyone for your insights : ) Seeing the relationship between the cards really confirms what I already know, and it fuels my desire to bring studying tarot to the forefront of my “Desire List” in order to incorporate it into the other modalities I currently use. Blessings friends!
ps Mariapadhila . . I just wanted to add that the King of Swords as it relates to my emotional resistance totally includes my discernment for not only my kids lives but for our conscious intentions for our reality in all areas.
I appreciate your mentioning that; however, I just wanted to add that our desire to create a Life of Love unlimited involves raising our children from birth, by example, that people (and things) come and go in our lives all of the time. They are not ours to own. Some are here for the short-term and some for the long-term. Some we are more intimate with than others.
We do not set a pre-conceived notion of how that should look and we do not compartmentalize ourselves by only allowing our children to see certain aspects of our Selves. With that said, obviously we do not invite them in to watch us have sex – that’s not the type of involvement I’m talking about. However, we also do not change who we are at the core and censor our Selves in order to keep them sheltered from the fears that have prevented Love from shining for eons.
We are totally transparent in all of our dealings, and that includes what we share with our children. They are fully surrounded by Love and their homeschool environment allows us to expose them to “non-traditional” ideas and experiences so that when they get older they are not having to “unlearn” something that wasn’t Truth.
I appreciate the concept you were conveying and understand the root of your point, but I just wanted to include a little further discussion for others reading about it since again, a new way of Loving and Living is the topic of the times, and “what about the children” always seems to be the first thing mentioned in poly or community-type living arrangements.
An example would be, we do not prevent our children from making friends with someone that may some day move away. We do not prevent them from taking a class from a teacher knowing someday they will graduate from that course. We do not pass on buying a camper for summer vacations knowing that in a year or two we’ll be selling it when Life sends us another direction. Our children have a foundation with a loving mother and father that they can come to for anything.
We do not insult or confuse their “intuition” by pretending that things are anything other than what they sense them to be. We do, however, limit their contact with those that unconsciously think, speak, and act (grandparents, friends, and other family members included) – at least until they are old enough to consciously know how to guard themselves from another’s lower level vibration (they are only 4 & 2).
Again, this last statement is very similar to the root point you were making – protecting them from someone until they are able to protect themselves. However, the people that even get close enough to become intimate with us have been scrutinized by the King well before they even meet our children. ; )
Maria, thank you for picking this up. I am clear that there are situations and circumstances when disclosure of the information is of benefit to me personally, within my relationships, and to a wider community: the provision of adequate health care, advice, guidance and treatment is one; the provision of appropriate education in formal and informal settings is another. If self-disclosure, my choice to share information, serves my well-being and the well-being of others, all to the good.
Also Suria: who and what does it serve, indeed. !!!
What Sarah said. Also king of swords could be the sharp analytic power in a fuzzy, moony situation–cut thru the bull 😉 you’re entitled to open up discussion to get the info you want. I can also share that my big concern with having anyone move in is my daughter–will she benefit, will this person she may get close to,if he needs to move on, be respectful of what she needs in transitioning? That is, even if this guy departs your life again for a while after a while, will that hurt your kids’ feelings? Not meaning this in a tsk way at all, please understand! Kids don’t have to be involved in every relationship we have, anyhow. It’s just one more question to ask.
ixchelsspells – I’ve read your posts and I would align my response with Eric’s: this feels like it is really about getting clear about intentions. The sticking point here is that you have The Moon as what you are resisting. This, coupled with The Devil, indicates the presence of a fair amount of self-talk that is deliberately (if unconsciously) diverting attention away from the heart of the matter – what lies in the shadows. The King of Swords will be part of this content that is hidden.
If you draw The Devil as what you want, you will no doubt have a transformational experience; the corollary to this is the adage of being careful – or at least vigilant – about what it is that you want.
That your prospective housemate appeared during Mercury Rx is something I would also pay attention to.
Salamander, thank you sweetheart! Feeling rough but a lot better.
hmmm . . . thinking . . . feeling . . . resonating but with some confusion
I’m sharing my thoughts below not necessarily because I expect an answer right now but because I have no problems transparently sharing real-life “poly” stuff so that others can get a glimpse of how that looks. We’re already here so why not share it, right?
My first thought would be that clearly creating my intention for the relationship is exactly what I’ve been doing for the past 2 weeks since the mention of him possibly moving in first came up in conversation. It truly was a surprise that we even reconnected and none of us ever expected we’d be talking about him moving in.
We are all cautiously interested in a relationship more than just friends helping a friend, but we are all also very aware that his recent introduction to the fact that there’s more options than just one man and one woman still has him unsure how he would be able to handle “sharing me” as he called it (lol . . . that opened the door for much explanation on my part about not being his to share – even if we were in a relationship.)
He claims to be truly in love with me – flattering but again another sign to be cautious so no one gets hurt. The most ironic part about this entire thing is that I broke up with him for repeatedly cheating on me 17 years ago. He told me then not to take it personally. He just liked “variety.” It wasn’t necessarily the variety I had a problem with but the deception and sneaking around. Now all these years later, here he is wanting to be monogamous with me only and I’m telling him that’s fine but I will not be monogamous with just him and if he wants a relationship with me he is going to have to embrace that. Funny how Life always seems to give us the opportunity to see & experience the other side of the coin.
But back to the reading. I still have some confusion how the #8 and #10 – both possible outcomes – can be so drastically different. Based on the description of what the #8 place means, if things continue on exactly as they are now, the most likely outcome would be the Five of Pentacles. Does that mean that if I continue to be overly cautious on who I allow into my intimate circle, I will invite this Five of Pentacles energy to myself? (because at this moment in time my husband and I are leaning more toward not having him move in) Or possibly by allowing fear of hurt & drama overpower the desire to lend a helping hand, we are keeping him outside in the cold? (figuratively not literally. He has a place to stay, it’s just in a small town with “no opportunity”. We are in the city.) Or is this card the most likely outcome if I allow this particular person into my life and my intimate circle (since that was the topic of the question)?
The alternate outcome #10 is the Nine of Cups and appears to be drastically different than the #8. It’s really where I feel I’m already in my life right now. As I was reading someone’s description of the Nine of Cups, it said, “The Cup’s Man now knows the value of his Cup’s contents and is not willing to let people treat them as they wish. He has placed them deliberately out of easy reach. Only those most trusted and those who can appreciate them will be given access. He had fought hard to find this new peace and happiness and he will be very careful to keep it away from anything or anyone who may wish to taint it.”
That is exactly how I currently am with anyone that wants to “love” me – whether family, friend, or romantically. I know who I am and I know most people don’t know who they are. I know how others’ “love” and admiration can turn to contempt and jealousy. Many who come across my path want to be with me, but my discernment and sense of underlying motive always stops anything serious from developing.
I know I have a tendency to be very calculated and mental about love and friendship. Most things in life to me truly are a cost-benefit analysis. My mom calls it cold-hearted. My dad calls it being a realist. I call it being true to myself. But this one’s different. For the first time in our journey of attracting another, I see all of this guys shadows yet I don’t put up a wall and turn off any and all interest. I have a soft spot in my heart for him – not like you have for a stray puppy but like you have for someone that you share an inexplicable connection with. Since reconnecting, we’ve had sex once. He’s stayed the night with us twice. Honestly when I wake up in the morning it’s all I can do to refrain myself from cuddling up with him on the couch. But I stop myself because I don’t know what I want. We’re so different in so many ways.
Which brings me back to my final confusion about the #8 and #10 . . . not just for my scenario but for doing a reading with anyone – these really appear to be very opposing outcomes. You say to get clear about the intentions and do it consciously. Does that mean it’s irrelevant what the decision made is as long as it’s conscious intention? Or is it cut and dry that one decision (whether to or not to allow this) results in one outcome and the opposing decision results in the other outcome?
I really am new to tarot and could be wrong, but this appears to be a very interesting spread.
The main sticking point I see in this spread is in the 4th position — The Devil in the position of intentions. This is about a materializing influence; it’s about the structure or form rather than the content. The ‘remedy’ would be to look at the content of the relationship rather than the arrangement itself. It’s also saying: get clear about your intent for the content, whatever that might be, however you would choose to define it — just do it consciously.
How is that resonating with you?
Okay so I was going to email Eric a question but when I got to the webpage, I saw this article and thought it was too much of a coincidence to not share here instead and see what others say.
2 nights ago I found the Celtic Wings tarot app on this website and decided to do a reading for myself. The question (energy) I held in my consciousness was whether to move in another man into the house with my husband and our family. We are poly-open minded but to date have never found an energetic match for what we’re looking for. We have no problem with another person moving in, my specific question was how this guy would fit with our long-term vision.
The guy is my ex-boyfriend from 17 years ago – half a lifetime ago. We didn’t have contact for 15 years and suddenly he appeared back into my life last month. He and my husband get along well. There’s still a chemistry between us (although at times I wonder if his current self-limiting beliefs will bring down the energy level of our house or if our positive vibes will raise his.) I decided to post this here because when I got to the part above about “shocking your mother” – – this would definitely shock our mothers! I can hear his mom now, “They moved a BLACK man into their house with those kids?” lol It doesn’t matter to us, though. That is not my concern. I share that here so you can see my train of thought as to why I felt it a fitting post.
My tarot reading confused me. I’m just beginning to learn this way of reading so I am having trouble fully understanding this particular spread – particularly #4 (I want the devil? I’m not afraid of the devil or anything this represents because I’ve spent years exploring shadow stuff and really feel balanced and at home with my entire self. Hell, my sexual healing work is looked at by many as of “the devil”. I vaguely remember a week or so ago reading another take on the devil card anyway and how it is a good exploration in these sexual revolution times. I thought it was on this website that I read that, but I wasn’t able to find it again.) #6 (what am I really resisting? In my work with clients, I work with the moon and feel in touch with my emotions. . . . hmmm) & #8 (which appears to totally contradict #7. Is my desire #4 going to cause me to ruin my other possible outcomes of joy and ascension by putting me into sorrow and poverty?) And who is the king of swords anyway?
Anyway, I’m slightly clueless on what this is saying (to say the least). But I am very intrigued. Other people in my life aside, I’m curious what this spread is sharing with me and the vibration that I am currently holding. However, to qualify further this other guy – moving him in wouldn’t necessarily right off the bat be a “relationship” between us. He loves me (or the idea of me?) and I care about him in ways I thought were behind me long ago. But right now he is needing a place to stay to get back on his feet and we offer that to people all of the time. I just don’t want to bring someone into our home that has emotional attachments to me that I can’t fulfill and that causes problems – all because he hasn’t done his own work and found his completeness within himself.
Okay, I’ll be quiet now and let the cards speak.
Here is what I got and I welcome your insights
1. Four of Cups
2. Temperance XIV
3. The Hanged Man XII
4. The Devil XV
5. Ten of Pentacles
6. The Moon XVIII
7. Three of Cups
8. Five of Pentacles
9. King of Swords
10. Nine of Cups
11. Strength VIII
@Lizzy
I hope you’ll feel better, take good care of yourself.
I am using this energy to reform the way I relate to others, the way I present myself, and improve the way I look. I have also noticed how one important relationship in my past life is repeating itself over and over again in this lifetime, and I need to make sure to provide respect and service to such people in order to heal the karma.
Eric, I understand what you are saying, especially the part where you talk about the gender tension in relationships. I don’t have the inclination to be in a relationship for numerous reasons, but with an intense Venus in Leo square Pluto in Scorpio and an 8th house Mercury in Libra, I have a sophisticated view of sexuality that I keep to myself (my main outlets for this energy are reading articles about sexuality from Planet Waves and Vice News, and watching shows such as The Tudors, or Almodovar movies).
I’m noticing how different countries in different eras have different strong points and weak points. In the case of the 21st century United States, I think there are many Saturn and Mars lessons a person can benefit from, but it’s a lot harder to learn Venus, Mercury or Neptune lessons. If I have any wit and grace, it’s from a previous lifetime.
Emile Autumn has good songs about the reality of the female sexual experience. It is all a frightening mess. Nobody wants to look at the trap. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axPe_p0OLcY#t=41
Thank you, Eric, for this wonderful, really helpful piece. Once again am pretty overwhelmed by the current astrology, which is bringing up some really challenging stuff about relationships and being true to myself. and in fact, have been home sick all day.
As long as people equate relationships and partnership with ‘ownership’, there will be issues.
I greatly appreciate all that has been written in this thread.
As I am very interested in the topic as you are Eric, I’ve been more of a societal observer (not an actual voyeur in other bedrooms) than participant the last several years – not with regret – and it has been fascinating to observe not only my story about sex and the creative force, but society’s as well. I’m learning intimacy and sexiness can be found in unexpected places.
Thank you for continuing the dialogue and creating the forum.
It seems to me that as long as misogyny is woven through every thread of the patriarchy, matters of sexuality, sexual identity and sexual expression are essentially issues of how sexual power is understood and expressed by individuals and in various collectivities.
The choice between being perceived as either a ‘slut’ or a ‘prude’ does not present women, especially young women (or girls – to me the distinction is an important one), with much scope for developing a sexuality and consequent behaviours that are integrated with a complete sense of identify or ‘self’. Both constructs are impositions that serve patriarchy by locating a woman’s power in how she is perceived, rather than who she is and how she chooses to express herself. These constructs also maintain the idea of men as sexual predators and feed them false categories of womanhood with which to engage; and there begins a vicious cycle of dehumanisation.
There is no more value in a woman being able to have sex with ‘a penis’ than a man being able to brag about his conquests. As long as we continue to have the conversation in terms of body parts, numbers, and labels, someone somewhere is going to find a way to work their way into individuals’ consciousness with carefully constructed marketing, and sell something to improve the quality, performance or other aspect of specification of the ‘saleable commodity’.
Who and what does it serve to monitor, regulate, and influence the actions of consenting adults, especially those carried out in private – sexual or otherwise? Why should anyone else be interested other than the parties concerned? Why the obsession with the appearance of things? And when (and how) did it become normalised for sexual activity to be treated as a competitive sport? But if every other part of human activity has been reframed as necessarily competitive, why not sex?
Perhaps it’s all a big distraction from the actual human potential and power that can be realised through knowledge of one’s own sexual self (a self that is at least physical, emotional, mental, relational, aware) through sexual engagement and the energetics of sexual exchange. And for many women, moreso than men, that includes knowledge and awareness of the relation between one’s reproductive capacity (and why others would want to control it) and one’s own creative and re-creative self.
When I talk about self-disclosure, I am not talking about bragging. I am talking about intimacy, which is the opposite of bragging.
When examining a stereotype it’s essential to examine observed exceptions to it, and to look at it from a diversity of points of view. When I talk about personal disclosure, this is for the purpose of intimacy, not bragging to one’s buddies, or for gossip.
That said, I have long been puzzled by the perception that it’s OK for men to brag about their sexuality (at least their ‘conquests’) but not for women. If this gets some men more sex, we would then need to ask: is this a turn-on for the women involved?
Or is it just more sexist bullshit (which, to some, could serve as a turn-on), such as women cannot ask out men, women must always decline dates at first (and any day past Tuesday, if for the upcoming weekend, so as not to seem desperate), women must not say anything intelligent or have an opinion, etc.?
Mainly, I’ve been puzzled by my own experience as someone who writes about sex, relationships and tantra. The fact that I write about the subject give the impression that I’m a lot more sexually active than I am. My observation, measured over the past 17 years or so that I’ve been writing on these topics in my own community and in various others, is that this makes me something of an untouchable (i.e., not eligible for dating and relationships among most to whom this fact is known), since it’s presumed either that my supposed promiscuity or alternative views are a menace to society, or that I will not play the marriage game.
I could get a lot more sex then I currently do by lying and concealing my point of view. As I’ve suggested before, as a general guide, the less integrity you have, the more sex you can have. So is the take-away here that women can get the sex they want by deceiving others about their sexual history?
This is too true and it feels like an enormous challenge. I am suddenly rediscovering my ‘old’ self all over again and it’s flooding all over me with an electrifying intensity. This old self is of course all against my current set up, habits, rules and judiciousness.
It wants nothing to do with that, and it’s so powerful I feel burning on the inside and frozen on the outside. I know it will not belong before the fire is out. I just cannot go on otherwise.
Singer Lily Allen addresses this issue with the release of her new song.
Her song “Hard out here (for a bitch)” is very a catchy tune and the lyrics are written to address sexism, double standards and a host of issues young women are confronted by.
Lyrics
“If I told you about my sex life you’d call me a slut/When boys be talking about their bitches no one’s making a fuss”….
“Always trust the injustice cause it’s not going away” and if you are still missing the her messages she does a little dance in front of an inflated sign declaring “Lily Allen has a baggy pussy” ..(the opening clip of her video shows her getting liposuction under duress from her manager when he says, “how do women allow themselves to get this way” (read:fat) and she responds meekly “well I had two children” (hence her baggy pussy)
Her messages are sarcastic and directed toward several other artists, like Miley Cyrus and Robert Thicke.
I really like her song
video link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0CazRHB0so