Today is Monday, November 28, 2011. The Moon is in Capricorn, which, incidentally, is the sign of one of the featured aspects this week. Venus has recently entered Capricorn; it is square Uranus and making a beeline for a conjunction with Pluto. Translation: This is Venus joining the revolution. It’s a sexual revolution, and it’s about the overthrowing of guilt.
We keep making these comparisons between the current nascent protest movement in Western culture and the 1960s. One involved an explosion of creative culture and an anti-war movement complete with draft-dodging, fueled by psychedelic drugs; the other features an economic protest finally making the connection between corporate crime and our endless, unjust wars, fueled by psychedelic social media. The 1960s saw ‘free love’ and ‘women’s lib’, but how far did those externally focused movements really get us? And where is the sexual revolution in the Occupy movement? Unconfirmed allegations by FOX News of fornication in tents don’t quite count. Despite the incredibly creative signs held aloft by Occupiers, excellent spelling ability doesn’t quite tap into our original creative drive enough to count either.
What we have here this week is something more internally located. It’s not about women climbing the corporate ladder or men and women sleeping around in communes. It’s about claiming our sexual space where it really counts the most: inside our own minds.
Although, come to think of it, the astrology does seem to be telling us, “GET LAID!” So — what’s stopping you? Actual lack of opportunity or some inner voice? When you’re in the middle of a hot, primal fantasy about you and someone you barely know, have you ever found your fantasy-self suddenly thinking, “Oh god — what kind of person must he think I am, doing this on our first date and grunting like a pig in heat?” And then you had to remind yourself that there is no judgment in fantasy — you can be whoever you need to be in that moment, with no requirement to supply criticism?
That’s an example of how pervasive the guilt can be that we carry. It can even invade our fantasies, those supposedly free-range spaces with no rules and no consequences and no one watching. If we’re not worried about what mom would think, we’re worried about our peers knowing what we want and who we are. If it’s not our peers, it’s our significant other we’re afraid of hurting or offending. If it’s not our S.O., it’s the person we’re actually with, if we think we’re jumping into sex sooner than ‘society’ deems proper. Amazing how trained we are to assume that someone might cast judgment on us for engaging in a sexual act with them — but yet we also assume that they would not judge themselves as well.
So what do we do about that? How do we get past the whole ‘prim and proper’ thing that Venus in Capricorn presents, so we can get real, and drop all this guilt we’ve been lugging around? At this point, we may barely even recognize it for what it is, it’s so ingrained. First, take it in small steps as things present themselves. Keep your eyes, ears, heart and imagination open to spot clues. We have a rich astrology week ahead of us, and all of the themes the Daily Astrology space will explore are connected. For one thing, we just had an eclipse Friday across the Sagittarius/Gemini axis, and we’re headed for another eclipse across those same signs in a couple weeks. This means we’re in a phase where there is likely to be a lot surfacing about projection and recognizing self versus other, or the recognition of mirroring. It also means we’re in a span of time when small moves to adjust course in these areas have the potential to move us much further along than usual.
Layered over that is Mercury retrograde in Sagittarius, calling an overarching theme of deep, spiritual-styled reflection. Moving backwards through Sagittarius, it will connect again with Pholus and company. As it does so, we get an opportunity to consider how far back our sexual guilt and grief go (generationally speaking) and how they relate to the use of alcohol as a means of faux liberation. Mars in Virgo picks up the theme with its own angle on sexual healing as it squares the Sun in Sagittarius. At the end of the day any form of sexual healing we apply now is going to involve working through and resolving guilt. Welcome to the revolution.
Looking for insights on how this week’s astrology affects your personal Sun and rising signs? Try out Planet Waves Light, our streamlined horoscope service. For deeper cultural context and astrological investigation, the premium Planet Waves subscription includes the same horoscopes, plus extensively-researched articles on Fridays.
One last note; if I do go until next June with no period it means I am finished and truly done. Then I will be a crone and all that the word (wise woman) implies. I will have a croning celebration ceremony then because I can. Burning pads and tampons and all. I can hardly wait! No more irregular periods, no more flooding, cramps, mess, periods that last 11 weeks, periods that come whenever and wherever. It even means I can have sex with whomever I want and not get pregnant (not that I have anyone in mind). FREEDOM sounds ever so sweet!
I celebrated the first time I had children (yes I had twins my first pregnancy) and marveled that my womb carried and birthed them after all the fertility problems. Now I can marvel at the freedom to be not fertile and the social status that gives me.
Women around the world are shackled from puberty until menopause because males and society want to control their fertility. After menses stops, a woman is again free to be herself; mouthy, bossy, and in charge of her own body and sexuality. That’s why I will celebrate.
Watch out! I am building energy until that day! It rises slowly within me. :::laughing a full-bodied laugh with a twinkle in my eye::::
starry,
I am almost there. Six more months sans period and I will be DONE. So I wanted to pass on some very good information that may or may not be of interest to you and any other menopausal woman.
Bioidentical hormones. Yep, they are the “good” hormones because unlike those synthetic ERTs the Big Pharma folks pushed on women (which can cause increased risk of cancer) these are not carcinogetic.
I began taking bioidentical progesterone (suspended in coconut oil so no parabens), added bio estrogen cream (that helps with the “wet” part and with the orgasm part) and added bio testosterone (which helps with the libido part). The orgasms are amazing! I have my desire back, my orgasms back, my wet back and I feel wonderful about sex again.
These also helped with the hot flashes, the fatigue, the moods, and the night sweats too. The progesterone especially helped with the moodiness.
These are a work in progress (you have to try doses, mixing and working with these until you find what works best for YOU) but they have made such a difference in my life. Finding a really good compounding pharmacy is a start.
Sex isn’t the same as it was when I was in my 20’s (it takes me a bit longer now to orgasm) but that’s ok because DH is older so he takes longer, too. Sex is not the fast, quickie it used to be for me (I was really good at having fast orgasms, 5 minutes from start to finish) but it is very good and enjoyable. Outside things affect my libido more (fatigue, stress, kids, lack of time, lack of privacy) but otherwise my life is back and I feel good.
I just wanted to throw that out there in case anyone here is interested. If you want to know where I got the progesterone (it was not from a compounding pharmacy) email me at carecare7atmsndotcom.
Huffy (and aword) to StarryNight: lovely healing messages here. Everyone’s sexuality is their own vital force of living and loving and expressing/creating. We all have an evolutionary path that should always be nourished and cultivated in our own way. As long as that energy is never repressed, either out of current conditions or past patterns/trauma, then the expression of that energy can propel us to experience our higher selves without the actual physical sex act.
starrynight. Interesting discussion, yes? interesting too, that I hadn’t meant “still wet” in the sense of phpysical but rather coming from this Pisces that my sexual desires are still lubricated – and I have worked at that BTW. I have been living through a decade when it would have been “easy” perhaps, to let go of my sexuality — my main focus has been raising my kids (single mom with other parent who insisted on constantly “making trouble”) — but I knew I wanted to come out of the wash with my Self not only “Intact” but having grown and developed. I made a conscious choice that my Sexuality is part of that Self.
also since we’re trading info – which I agree should not be taboo secrets – I too went through early menopause and had no “symptoms” whatsoever (what’s a hot flash?). I’m just older and wiser and don’t menstruate anymore. (which I miss – it was a wonderful monthly cleansing releasing) — and so now there must be other “rituals” – yes?
I could write on, but the day is waiting. Much love and “wetness” to you; however that river flows for you.
PS Mystes – as always you said it So Well! Thx!
xo
Starrynight, I haven’t had sex for a long time – and haven’t looked for it for a long time now(am in menopause too..). Know the Woody Allen quote about masturbation? “Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone you love”. That’s me these days, though the loving the self part is a little harder! But I understand where you’re coming from – because there’s huge pressure to be sexual beings – it’s considered a sign of being a healthy and fully integrated person. I had a really high libido in my twenties and early thirties, and was fairly rampant, but that’s changed over the years. I certainly don’t rule out having wild and wonderful sex again, but it’s not something that I ‘ache’ for any more. On the other hand, one of my closest friends who is a bit older than me and coming out the other side of her menopause has rediscovered her sexuality and is doing tantric seminars, meeting lots of men and having a great time. What I’m trying to say is that I think we all have different needs at different times of our lives, and that it’s important to respect that and not feel pressured to conform in any way.
…just as fast as dishonest and hypocritical.
Sometimes faster.
Poor and dry will get you voted off the island.
You know Awordedge…
Your signature “still wet” reminds me of my perceived worth As a woman in our society, and as the “second sex”, of my lowered status as a post-menopausal woman. Just sayin,
Happy for you that you in your liberated state remain juicy.
I, on the other hand, must be a “dry” female now, versus your and other females “wet”, which makes me…?
Unliberated?
Interesting.
Just re-read the title…My Libido Went To The Revolution and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt.
Made me laugh…out loud!
Mystes, your comment:
And when the reproductive fire cools down a bit, you start being able to hear some green energy differently. It’s as though the photosynthetic world is waiting for us to shut the hell up and listen to its listening.
Sounds right and true; you’ve found words where I cannot.
Not just out of the gate however; rather 15 years out (it was natural and premature menopause probably so young because I had children so young)
Aword…hmm…I have heard it is still there and even better for some women. But most significantly I sure don’t hear much else…or how…or why…or well, much at all. Like I said…taboo?
Starrynight… are you just through the menopause gate? If so, I might gently suggest that it *will* shift again. My friend Jade has a great photo entitled :: The Death of My Libido and boy, could I relate. The transition –about a year in length– was quite weird and not-at-all pleasant. But after all was said and done, it was in fact a transition to another level of sexual happiness.
And when the reproductive fire cools down a bit, you start being able to hear some green energy differently. It’s as though the photosynthetic world is waiting for us to shut the hell up and listen to its listening.
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starrynight….I must submit, sex after menopause is just as awesome as prior to — different indeed, but isn’t everything? oh what a journey it is!
“If we had more experiences of people getting excited by our expressed ‘deviance’, the world would be a MUCH healthier place, sexual, kinky or not.” Alex – oh yes, for sure – but why all the words? It’s about Feeeeling, and Experience, isn’t it?
And I – for one who is both very water and very fire – am up to my little rim with people wanting to “use me” for getting at the kinkier side of sex. It’s only kinky or deviant if that’s what you want to call it. I just call it intimacy, relating, sex and even Love.
Still wet,
xo
Alexander: Excellent point on the modalities (or qualities). Yes, the mutable does seem to have something extra going for it right now. Not to make too fine a point of it, but my own suggestion for “rejection” evaluation had to do with the houses for natal lunar nodes.
Howdy Len!
Element I can dig but mode even more so, especially on the angles – kind of the compass/co-ordinates of the whole chart. Mutable angles you know, SO apologetic, like trying to nail Jello to the wall. Put that in the mix with fixed energy I WILL nail you to that wall oh slippery, elusive Jello!
Yup! Mutable can be a curse for getting rejected but then blames everyone else for it! “I merely sidestepped the unreasonable fixed person and rejection is the thanks I get – so aggressive and stubborn those fixed types, whereas I’m so.. well.. flexible! YES that’s what I am” 😉
Eric and Alexander: Call me a geek, but it’s a privilege to witness two masters of language holding forth on language. That is especially so when it comes to such important subject matter. Thank you for taking my thoughts to new channels.
Eric: Your speculation regarding the sign element is well taken regarding the rejecting-rejected dichotomy. May i also suggest that it could have something to do with the node placement?
Eris67 (aka: Patricia): Love the part about the hats. Willing to bet that rainbow suits you very well.
Ok. I’m going to break a real taboo and report that sex after menopause is very very very different than before. In fact, I’d say, from personal experience, that it’s essentially a completely different world, one in which sex and physical pleasure are no longer the main reference point in life. Distressing? Indeed. Especially in a culture where sex (or repression of same) is the be all end all of existence. Yet, true. On this side of the line, the biological urge all but completely gone, observing its effects in others is tantamount to – well- I’m simply without words and don’t know how to describe it, just that it seems so clear from here. I’ll keep words like “good” and “bad” out if it. I’ll just say that it seems I (can’t speak for others) was allotted so much gas with which to fill the tank. Now it’s run out, I discover that, here on earth, it seems we only get one tankful of the stuff and no refills. That makes it difficult, given the taboo, to adjust, to say the least.
We might want to analyze the effects of that philosophy on, for example, those with fiery charts and those with dominantly watery charts.
There is a big difference. And frankly it seems that some people do all the getting rejected, and others do all the rejecting.
“If you want true acceptance then take the risk of being rejected.”
Bravo!
I’m thinking now of meaningful distinction between ritual and the formulaic..
What makes the difference apart from the attribution of meaning? If the meaning is found only in the ritual per se then we are into magic and formula.
Many of our approaches to other folk in interpersonal settings are formulaic. They could be considered rituals if they could be steered into sequences that take one somewhere different than the prescriptions, dependent upon responses.
Instead, choreographed behavior traps people with the result that at times the calculation needs to be that the stock responses need detonating.
It’s like all the ‘unacceptable’ conversation has been sanitized by being replaced with euphemism galore – anything other than what feels real and spontaneous.
It doesn’t have to be sexual. But my point was really that many established couples never get round to discussing their desires – which is utterly ridiculous! Sometimes we need to get candid early doors about our desires (non-sexual also) and our preferences.
Talking about astrology to some people gets you viewed as ‘flaky’. If you start talking about shamanic practice and communing with trees, for example, you are one step short of the lock-up and manacles.
This brings me back to ritual and formula. This is an easy auto-pilot ‘out’.. when in Rome.. If you want inauthentic acceptance then don’t push the envelope. If you want true acceptance then take the risk of being rejected. If we had more experiences of people getting excited by our expressed ‘deviance’, the world would be a MUCH healthier place, sexual, kinky or not.
Alex, the rim job or ball licking are boutique items in that they might arrive a little later in the process of getting acquainted. What about expressing interest in a way that does not evoke the pressures of the marketplace or the presumed expectations of one’s ancestors?
I think we’ve become so numb to the chill on direct communication that we don’t feel it any more.
We can help by tossing euphemisms — “sleep with,” “seeing,” “dating,” “get laid,” and about 1,001 others. Of course these euphemisms serve as markers of insecurities, which have numerous expressions before anyone says a word. Insecurities are reinforced by repeated experiences of rejection and betrayal, and we reinforce them ourselves by not facing them down, and by not refusing to be enslaved by them.
Well, sexual urges ebb and flow as does opportunity. Just fucking for the sake of fucking is (still) fun but is different now than it was at 20. I guess I don’t understand prim and proper or such re: sex. What’s ever been prim and proper about sex? And the whole internal sexual revolution can be about, well, an internal sexual revolution.
My wet-t-shirt says nothing. It’s me inside of it that speaks.
Here! Here! to Venus in Cap, although this little fish doesn’t quite get why everyone doesn’t just enjoy and/or go with their sexual fantasies always. Oh, and what I’m really seeing during/before/after/around/up/down sex? Those are my visions and fantasies. Sure, there are plenty to share outloud, but the deepest ones? Ha! Those are Mine.
Splish, Splash
xo
‘Would you consider rimming me?’ or ‘Please.. tongue my balls’ is not something we would usually say in polite company.
The problem is that we often won’t say it in ANY company. I think we need to say *daring* things that are expressive of our true/deep desire to those we wish to be deeply comfortable with.
Now, if they say ‘no’ – and certainly over many things one desires, it is time to ask the key questions of ‘happiness, comfort or compromise?’
If your comfort is another’s discomfort or vice versa then it is high time to get pragmatic. The essence of you is what you like. Half the time we don’t even know what that is because we are SUPPOSED to like certain things.
If someone says ‘please shave your balls first’ or ‘make sure you wash your anus’ then that is fair enough, where if someone says ‘dirty bastard’ it is surely time to go!
No??
The term “get laid” deserves a critique, and to be retired from language. It mixes an active verb with a passive one — go out and GET something that HAPPENS TO YOU. It’s the classical blend of desire and luck that throws the entire realm of sexuality into either a casino or a marketplace. You can GET it under a number of circumstances that involve transactions; but then you’re ultimately passive; you are laid, as in laid back, or an egg that got laid. The egg didn’t lay itself. And in this marketplace there is all demand and no supply. That’s not going to work so well.
While many are out GETting laid (or striving to), few are out consciously GIVING (for various reasons turned to slurs, regardless of gender/orientation). This way we can (as we often do) arrive in circumstances where two people are trying to GET something from one another without any reference to who is willing to give, or what they are giving. Can you really give some lay?
The phrase “get laid” seems to be laced with the approach-avoid conduct that is so indicative of a pleasure anxiety based guilt trip, madonna/whore, and so on.
Thank you for the revolutionary idea “that there is no judgement in fantasy”. Thank you for a sound but daring take on Venus in Capricorn, recognizing the important difference this time around.
“So — what’s stopping you? Actual lack of opportunity…”
Well, yes, precisely that. And so I turn to my trusty little self to keep things fun and interesting 😉 Why waste such a powerful (and empowering) moment in time, especially when I feel the planets working their magic so?
To quote a great and influential song of my youth – “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with!”
The title could read, “My libido went to the sexual revolution and all I got was this see-through tee shirt that says DON’T TOUCH ME.”
or
“I went to the purity ball and all I got was horny and this lousy ring.”
“take it in small steps as things present themselves. Keep your eyes, ears, heart and imagination open to spot clues.” – that is really the best and core thing to do. One must truly seize these opportunities for insight as steps toward healing, not as a slap in the face as to further shun one back into the cave of indecision. I’ve been feeling this percolating this weekend and am interested in this process, but in steps, so I can move consciously with open arms, and love myself for doing it.
HS
Great topic!
I’ve got a convoy of 18 wheelers looking to deliver all this interesting baggage to where it came from!
It has been grueling process as I have personally overseen every hideous bag loaded! Mortified that I actually wore some of these motifs….never matched my shoes anyway. I have one whole truck of hats that I had to triple lock…kept jumping out…the frickin nerve of them…never cease to amaze me….anyway, quite liberating having nothing to wear but my rainbow flag! You should have heard the engines roar as they were leaving my driveway!
Love you PW…thanks for the rainbow flag
Patricia
Friday now changed to Monday 🙂 (Strangely, it feels like a Tuesday to me.)
This is a great Daily Astrology – very pertinent. Thank you!
Wonderful read…. It’s friday already ? 😉
Friday the 28th well down here in Australia I make it Monday the 28th !!!!!!
Maybe you have not caught up with us very with it Australians.