Mars – one of the planets in the grand earth trine happening now – has been backing into a triple conjunction with asteroids Eros and Psyche in Virgo. Eros and Psyche happen to be two characters linked in myth. Taken together with Mars, this trio deepens the theme of ‘the psychology of desire’ already associated with this Mars retrograde.
Is it hard for you to trust that another loves and desires you without demanding ‘proof’? It can be a fine line between trusting love will come your way if you are open to receiving it, versus grasping for it and instead turning it into something else (like obligation or validation), thereby ‘losing’ it. How often have you let the fear of losing love get in the way of enjoying the love being offered to you? Too many people in this world don’t actually believe they are worthy of what they desire, or that they are okay for desiring it.
Mars retrograde conjunct Eros and Psyche seems to be asking us to sort out insecurities along these lines. It’s about healing those seemingly un-healable hurts we carry that tell us we’re not really loved, or that we will lose what we love, or that we can’t trust love to be the continuum it is. There’s also something here about how the socially-insisted upon model of relationships simply doesn’t work for everybody. And that can leave people feeling very wrong in who they are, for no good reason. If you’re struggling with some variation of one of these issues – and they might manifest as jealousy or self-sabotage or passive-aggression in an intimate relationship – there’s an opportunity here for some perspective and self-understanding.
The larger context is the grand trine saying, ‘trust yourself to step forward, and when you take the step, allow the universe to meet you halfway — and then be open to receiving what is offered’. But forward toward what? Well, forward into a way of relating that may be very new to you. It may feel like being unmoored at first, if you’ve been using your insecurities as a source of false power. Forward toward an understanding of yourself that allows you to offer yourself some compassion and forgiveness; forward into a space that lets you see the love offered to you; forward into your own center, so that you can feel just how much love you can give.
Remember that the grand earth trine described by Len Wallick yesterday is the overarching safety net. Since its planets are all in earth signs, the key to using its energy is to take some small, tangible external action. Don’t get too caught up in any inner conflict and old hurts — focus outward. It’s not about ignoring the inner, but rather, once you see what’s going on in there, integrating it without staying attached to it as your sole ‘identity’.
We’re getting a good show of what it looks like when desires are not integrated; just watch the anti-women, anti-sex antics of the Republicans. It’s an illustration of another major planet-minor planet conjunction in this grand trine: Jupiter conjunct Black Moon Lilith in Taurus. Jupiter is providing a safe magnifying glass for the properties of BML: we’re getting a glimpse into the shadow feminine within men. In fact, Jupiter’s presence in a conjunction may actually make this all ‘beneficial’ (it is often called a ‘benefic’ planet). It’s getting all of this – the shadow feminine, the sense of ‘un-healable’ wounds to our love and desire (or lovability and desirability) – out there where everyone can see it.
And once we can see it all, we can form a strategy and take steps to heal it and live differently. With this, we have the help of Chiron and Pallas Athene making angles to these earth planets from Pisces. If at any time in the next day or two it starts to feel like you’re just swirling in circles, grab a hold of these two. Document what you’re feeling, make a plan and take a step. It could be as simple as speaking your new perspective out loud, even if you’re not so sure you believe it, just to see how it feels.
Mars, Eros, and Psyche are conjunct my natal Pluto and sextile my natal Neptune-ASC-Venus which in turn conjunct my natal Mercury (main dispositor) and oppose my natal Taurus Moon. “Surely some revelation is at hand…” -Joni Mitchell
(re identify). And imprinting (think baby ducks) and naming and all the subtleties around and between all these possibilities.
aword,
thanks! and yes, i love trying out absurd scenarios.
women masturbating together in a circle! celebrate good times!
let’s make this idea go viral!
And Amanda, the word identify goes all the way from ‘losing your identity’ through defining, through putting in your lot with and standing shoulder to shoulder.
It is quite possible to have crossed wires over these sorts of things.
a_priori,
are you kidding?! 😀 (re bridal shower) I couldn’t get my relatively-sexually-free friends to masterbate in front of each other at a sex-toy party! All kinds of other play, but not “that”! (I have other friends who are less inhibited, but their numbers are few).
I enjoyed your thoughts on the subject at hand, thank you.
(amd love the Debbie Harry shot at the end of your page)
Ah, my personal daily astrology augmented by PW!
Transiting Psyche, Eros, Mars oppose my natal Ophelia – oh pity poor Ophelia! Obviously then, transiting Pallas is exact on natal Ophelia. Perhaps the poor O will gain some strength of heart – if not character – from this visit.
Transiting Jupiter, Venus, DML exactly conjunct natal Pallas and square Natal Uranus (8 Leo, not quite exact).
Natal Mars is hedging its bet as part of the Grand Earth Trine as transiting Pluto is now only 3 degrees away and closing in.
Outside of the trine but also mentioned by Len recently, is transiting Pandora who opposes natal Eris/Moon (as well as transiting Vesta/Merc). Transiting Uranus is closing in on that whole group but still closer by two degrees to natal DML who holds court exact on the Aries Aries point.
Transiting Chiron is exactly between natal Sun and natal Ophelia.
I have to say – there is just too darn much going on to NOT be able to heal all these powerful women in some way, wouldn’t you think?
Well then.
“And once we can see it all, we can form a strategy and take steps to heal it and live differently.”
–from your blog to God’s ears, PW!!
If you’re going to talk about engendered homophobia, you have to start first with engendered homoeroticism. Male homoeroticism supports the patriarchy, literally, metaphorically, overtly sexual or not. This discussion could go on for weeks, and does. Pick a male domain, any all-male domain. Urinal culture? Sports? Government? Privilege protects its own.
One also has to acknowledge that by and large gay men are of a very different, much higher socio-economic class than lesbian women. Often the proposed conversation/ comparison falls flat on the basis of this disparity alone. Gay men have a Lot more money and a lot more privilege. If they’re not mainstream, then the issue is class, and fay.
Homoeroticism amongst straight males is off the charts.! You will rarely find a group of women, or even two women who aren’t lovers who have masturbated together (see also: circle jerk). Can you imagine? (ok, maybe at a bridal shower). With men it appears to be some kind of birthright.
And that’s the point. It’s evolutionary. The male entitlement to his orgasm, and to the orgasm of his fellow – hm – fellows – is rooted in survival of the species. Everything supports it.
You can twitter about female homoeroticism if you want. What do you see? Something with clothes shopping probably, sharing makeup, doing each other’s hair, assessing each other’s bodies; an envy/lust sort of competition continuum. Still survival of the species. With nothing at all to do with actual sex, actual orgasm or entitlement to anything execept scoring the best male.
Which is why there’s this shadow material around lesbian women being man-haters. Puh-lease. But the mindset is: they’re castrating the future.. It’s a message of what’s (supposedly) missing (desire for men) instead the affirmation of attraction to their own hot sex.
(continuing my last comment…) But I live in Europe. In the Mediterranean. That sounds like a joke. But attitudes are different here. I see plenty of ambiguity here and generally a much more relaxed attitude about same sex experiences without hangups than I ever did in the US. (I wrote a performance piece about this about 20 years ago. It’s funny).
Eric – In my experience, a lot of “straight” men are fairly open to erotic encouners with a best male friend. I think that’s interesting, and rather nice.
Again – what an excellent, helpful and utterly on the mark post.
In the last 24 hours I’ve been grappling with these exact issues, but surprising myself at the very mild reaction I had over something that in the past would have sent me around the bend feeling quite the victim. Instead, I spent a good part of today wondering why I wasn’t more upset than I “should be.”
It wasn’t for lack of caring, it was for realizing that I’ve fully integrated into a different kind of relationship. The knee-jerk reaction I thought I should be summoning – and really couldn’t! – belonged to a model I’ve outgrown. It seemed silly. What is there now is fine as it is. It’s been making me happy; it is very unconventional, but so am I, and it works.
How nice to grow up now and then.
Just a reminder — the blog is a team effort; sometimes a small team, sometimes a larger one — and lately we’re getting a lot of ideas from our readers.
I can echo marymack’s comment that this essay speaks to me of where I’m at right now. Before I read the article, I was feeling exactly what it describes – a shift from “grasping for it and instead turning it into something else (like obligation or validation), thereby ‘losing’ it” to “trusting love will come your way if you are open to receiving it.” It’s great to have the planets for support 🙂 Thanks Eric as always for your insightful writing.
CaraSusanetta: I completely agree with you, that Alice Miller rocked. She changed my life when I read most of her books but the one you just finished is a mistresspiece. A must read for anyone reclaiming their childhood, recognizing that the giftedness touted is not so much gifted in the modern usage but gifted in that children learn to survive the most atrocious trauma in the most ingenious ways imaginable. Addressing the legacy of the impact of those traumatic experiences was her gift to me and all survivors. The timing of your reading and comment here is especially fantastic because just last night I danced in my kitchen and Alice Miller popped into my thoughts and I thanked her profusely for the work she did. She is one of my personal heroes.
Yes Len, this post today is stunning and this grand earth trine, with lovely Venus as part of the dance has made for a fabulous day for me thus far, after a very challenging and weird evening last night. My moon and Chiron were working on me to the core (along with a nessus that has been parked on my Chiron for too long, but clearing out abusive patterns that had to go) but today, this Virgo girl is loving every minute of the celestial dance!
What a *fab* online community we have hanging out at PW. Blessings on all who drop in here. 😉
“This is the oppressor’s language, yet I need it to talk to you.”
— Adrienne Rich, The Burning of Paper Instead of Children
Eric,
Yes, I know many “straight” women who interact with other women but do not consider themselves “bi” and definitely not lesbian.
I know of few men who would do the same (openly at least). – and yes, personal experience also says that men tend to fear even “touching” another man, or appearing to be “gay” in any way — even “open liberal artist” types. This includes men who have threesomes with one other man and a woman.
Great Astrology right now. Really open for some (more) (positive) life change, I must say.
Thanks, PW.
For my part, I wonder if the Lilith conjunction had a lot to do with all the shootings of the past several months, particularly in Afghanistan. There seems to be a deep seated anger against women that we can’t understand – karmic and past life. If you run the tertiary charts, and see where lilith and a few asteroids line up between the perpetrators and the victims it might be quite revealing.
The Rush rant against women has to be part of that as well; in fact, i wondered if he had a break-down of some kind. A lot of Catholic women are bitterly angry about being considered to be living in sin because they use birth control pills. Sure, free pills are available through a lot of other avenues, and even within 2 blocks of Georgetown U at the planned parenthood. It was hardly the point at all. Speaking through a public hearing was a perfect avenue for public discourse, because who ISN’T still talking about it? Revolution comes in mighty but small steps. Just think, in the early 60s the Pope gave us the freedom to stop wearing head coverings to church, incredible as it seems. I’m only surprised that the Vatican hasn’t withdrawn the edict, to keep us in line the way Islam controls its women. The women’s movement needs to finish its work and represent all women, not just lesbian women and women who want promotions and abortions. Not everyone believes the same, but until individual beliefs are respected nothing will change – we will continue to have anger and violence and hatred. If your discourse is only about yourself, you are in danger of contributing to anger, violence and hatred through self-centeredness. When someone comes to your house and stays late, do you invite them to dinner (love) or do you try to wait them out hoping they will leave (hate)? No-one wants to feel rejection, and everyone wants to be included.
funny, that’s the second time you’ve typed “Adrieene” instead of “Adrienne” Rich in this thread.
stop oppressing her feminine identity with your typos!
;P teasing…
on a more serious note, i guess i find one thing that makes the locus of identity harder to unravel is that it doesn’t *feel* so much like social conditioning as much as this inherent thing that’s indigenous to me apart from that — like, as in, it can be seen in my chart, etc. but then, given how much my mother seems to be present in my chart, in ways that make it hard to see that it’s an influence and not “just me,” i guess that’s where the “social conditioning” sneaks in, eh?
it’s then less about a wider message “out there,” and more about a message that kind of had a line-in before i knew there was any separation between “me” and “other”…
or something like that, perhaps…
Last night I finished “The Drama of the Gifted Child” by Alice Miller (also http://www.alice-miller.com).
Mind.Blown.
I don’t know if I read about it here or someplace else, and honestly didn’t even know what it was really about, but now I am really convinced she’s on to something real. We touch on it here all the time, but perhaps not as nakedly as she does…the origins of our low self-esteem, and the path “home”…
Thanks to PW staff and community for the hard-core honesty we find here
Thanks PW for a timely piece. It’s helped to clarify my ongoing process of psycho spring cleaning. So much to digest though! In fact all the astrology of the moment is a bit overwhelming. I think I have astro-indigestion – or is that just me being an over-sensitive girlie!? And thanks Amanda for the HuffPo link – also great.
Amanda – I think we can bring things to the light by starting to find out what annoys, angers, enrages us about men’s reactions to women, and find out where we carry that idea within ourselves.
For example, where do we fear our own craziness? Where do we buy into that myth because a part of us fears that we are, indeed, crazy? We can’t hook into it if we don’t have the hook in the first place. If I am enraged about a man’s right to decide my contraceptive decisions, where is it that I give my power away over exercising my own rights? More generally, where do I hand over any decision-making power, or where do I feel an inner conflict about control?
I’m not saying that I am fully responsible for someone else’s actions or opinions – that it’s ‘all my fault’ what they do or say. Rather, when I am squared away with myself, what someone blusters on about becomes just that: hot air. It is from that position of being squared away that I can then choose to act, and psychic energy isn’t wasted in the process. Action is then decisive, directed and effective.
Eric – I’m going to buy and read that. Long overdue.
Thank you so much for one of the best Daily Astrology installments in recent memory. What a wonderful lesson in how to integrate the asteroids and lesser known objects into the major planet configurations. Chills of delight as you touch upon some really substantial issues that express for each and connect all. Awe as long-term melds with the now. Oh wow, this is one dynamite piece. Thank you, finally, for the closing caution that a grand trine carries the inherent possibility of spinning out of control, and for directing us toward safe anchor with Chiron and Pallas in Pisces. Oh so good.
Eric: In answer to you “related experiences?” question, your concise and cogent perception, eloquently expressed, not only illuminates my experience and perspective but flows seamlessly from what seems to be the first principles set out in today’s Daily Astrology blog. Wow, on a rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, roll. Thank you. What a great day for Planet Waves.
Amanda — this is covered magnificently in The Second Sex. It’s essential reading for unraveling this issue. De Beauvoir explains the different ways that men and women are conditioned to think of relationship: men as people and women as, well, the second sex. From her perspective this is conditioned by women, that is, by mothers more than it is by men. She gives the details on this, but throughout the book it is her observation that women teach girls “how to be women.”
She gives as an illustration how women — many, to this day — are conditioned to believe and ultimately do believe that the thing they want the most is a husband and a family. Men, certainly in greater numbers than women, are trained to set out…to investigate…to see what their fortunes really are. Men want partners, but not as the definition of their life but rather as an aspect of their life.
As a result women are trained to actually feel that they have no identity outside a relationship, and what they did have before all this conditioning set in feels awkward and undeveloped. In the words of Adrieene Rich, you basically have to dive back into the wreck, to see what is left…to find the treasures that prevail. What she finds is that when she gets there she is free of the trappings of gender and is simply herself…
As men have gradually been conditioned to make contact with their feminine side, that is often expressing itself as men wanting a woman above ALL else…and that can create a man who has little to no sense of identity outside of a relationship. I see this more and more.
Powerless in front of the authority figure. i think part of it is finding it hard to believe that someone in a postion of trust isn’t all knowing, or automatically with your best interests at heart. That is already hard to believe. Abandonment, identification, yes.
And. I have found that if what I have to say is really ‘true’ at some existential level (true for you, true in the situation etc etc), and especially when intent is fused and oriented to the best good in the situation (however that may manifest), then it isn’t a question of can or can’t right or wrong or consequences, the words come. Or something comes to you
Having children helps enormously (because it is 24/7). Some of it is instinctive – reacting on behalf of the child – or having to think for two or three or four etc when they are tiny. you immediately have at least two different view points and the purchase that gives.
Some of it is ‘human’ at source, too – even before gender. Sometimes necessary to touch the source to go forward again
And even the most stuck things can change on a dime. Can.
Lovely piece Amanda.
For example, Sarah —
i can see how easy it is to project a feeling that a man who has a strong role in my life has “all the power” or “all the say.” it’s not that the man has actual power over me, but that in my conception of my role in the relationship, exerting that voice and power carries the threat that “he’ll get mad” — and that brings up the child-parent dynamic, wherein one’s very existence seems to hang in the balance. of course, it doesn’t, really. but if i’ve placed my sense of identity in a partner or relationship (which i tend to do), the dissolution of that or separation from him can feel like it will be a death of sorts.
this general topic also kind of makes me think of this article i read yesterday. it’s a bit generalized, but has some interesting points, namely about the cultural tendency to classify women as “crazy” when we express our emotions — thereby invalidating them, and part of our experience. so instead, often women can become passive-aggressive, since the open expression of anger, etc, may be dismissed:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/yashar-hedayat/a-message-to-women-from-a_1_b_958859.html?ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false
when the open expression of the feminine is suppressed/repressed, it comes out “sideways” — and then seems to loom all the larger, at least, in our imagining of “what women are” — this shadow version.
the author, who is male, makes this statement near the end of the article:
“While I take total responsibility for my actions, I do believe that I, along with many men, am a byproduct of our conditioning. It’s about the general insight our conditioning gives us into admitting fault and exposing any emotion.
“When we are discouraged in our youth and early adulthood from expressing emotion, it causes many of us to remain steadfast in our refusal to express regret when we see someone in pain from our actions.”
so, it seems that perhaps this is cyclical — this manifestation of, suppression of, villification of and separation from aspects of the feminine that become “shadow”.
so… how do we bring her into the light and integrate?
I hardly know what to say, where to start, but as you write: “speaking your new perspective out loud even if you’re not so sure you believe it, just to see how it feels” … your piece so beautifully describes a challenging emotional place inside that calls to me and I thank you for helping me sort out the threads of this dynamic. I will move forward with a new tenderness and trust.
mary
ps: Pluto is now atop my own Venus in Cap and the world opens up for me. Again, I hardly know what to say … desire that’s been buried underneath all that hurt and shame sees the light of day and … well, to be continued.
Amanda et al
I would say that the unfinished work of the women’s movement has left women in a pretty serious double bind.
An ideal of “independence from men” was set in that era, which as influenced everything that’s come after it — but it was a false ideal, since people need one another and most women both want and need men in their lives. For the most part, the Philosopher Kings of the movement were lesbian separatists, and married women. So there was next to no discussion of healthy interdependence (and, having lived through the era, I can sort of see why).
Now we’re ready for that discussion, I believe.
ef
sarah — yes, absolutely. no intention to omit the shadow feminine in women! that was a casualty of working too late at night and forgetting to expand on my and eric’s notes. thank you for bringing in such a crucial piece — i think it describes much of what i’m working through myself, actually.
Hey. On the topic of male expression of femme shadow, I have a log to add to the fire — male homophobia, and a phobia of male homosexuality projected onto men by women. I would point out that male homophobia and female homophobia. These are presumably equivalents, but they’re very different.
I think there is a frantic reaction against the concept of male homosexuality, and that’s much of what we’re seeing used as a religious and political cudgel.
With female homosexuality the culture has drifted in more accepting if not enlightened directions. There may be a few core reasons for this, including what Adrieene Rich described as all women existing on a lesbian continuum (in her amazing essay Compulsory Heterosexuality, which can be found in the book Blood, Bread and Poetry), as well as a fair number of both men and women finding lesbianism (at least in theory) erotically interesting.
Most men do not find male homosexuality interesting, in my experience, or at least that’s not spoken outwardly. It’s suppressed in fact, to the point where even the mainstream and hardcore porn industry has an unspoken ban on male/male penetrative sex (this may be related to obscenity convictions).
I attribute this to an eruption of female shadow material in men: the fear of submission, the fear of being penetrated, anxiety around the loss of control, and the related emotions that might come up. I believe this is energized by a deeper, unspoken curiosity that many men have about male-male sex, but which is for the most part quickly stamped down, unless the company is strictly gay.
When you include all the external pressures, such as abstinence indoctrination, peer pressure, political pressure and others, the result is a real mess.
Speaking personally, I know many more “straight” women who are willing to experiment with female-female sex than I know “straight” men who are willing to experiment. In almost all cases I know of where a couple is going to experiment with a threesome, it’s presumed to be a woman.
Has anyone had related experiences?
Thank you so, so much for this-have been thinking along these lines, and this morning felt the first stirrings of hope and balance, but doing that for myself in a key relationship. Reading your article has reinforced all this, and feel at peace in allowing love to flow, giving and receiving, appreciating what is there, and expressing a wish for more in a clear, explicit and loving manner.Letting go of expectations and trusting that whatever comes to pass will be the best for myself and all concerned. This I feel is the way to work with the Mercury retrograde-stay focussed on your hopes and dreams, whilst paying attention to the realities and details, planning and contemplating, so that you can take the right action when the time is right. I also would like to know who wrote this one 🙂
“If you’re struggling with some variation of one of these issues – and they might manifest as jealousy or self-sabotage or passive-aggression in an intimate relationship – there’s an opportunity here for some perspective and self-understanding.”
Self-sabotage; yes. I realised that I have been lying sometimes when I say I have no regrets. The sabotage that I conducted in a relationship — where there was, admittedly, sabotage on both sides — leaves me with huge regret. But I move forward. The paradox.
Also, as another thing to point out:
Black Moon Lilith may be the shadow feminine in men. But taking it a step further, which I think is crucial in this healing process, is women’s projection of their own shadow content into men. It is sometimes so much easier to deal with when it feels like it is coming from outside, and what better vehicle than an entire gender? Woman also need to own their shadow content in terms of the masculine/feminine paradigm inside them. If we don’t, then it can become a game whereby, at its most extreme, men are exclusively vilified for something that all genders can start to take responsibility for. The right-wing Republican man is a great target for this vilification. But where does it start in all of us?
When I first saw the chart, I noticed the kite pattern, prompting me to do some additional reading on aspect patterns. Chiron and Pallas Athene at the top of a kite pattern as central planets (as described by one astrologer) acting like a “dynamic pendulum” with the opposition to Mars (and Eros and Psyche), bring stability and a capacity for action. The same source also describes those central planets as increasing the communication between the planets that are sextiled, in this case Venus-Jupiter and Pluto, forming a “small grand trine of their own.” The kite pattern appears (to my limited knowledge) to neatly connect Len’s posting of yesterday and today Daily. Now, to sit down and recall the energies of all these astrological objects and discern what can be learned as that pendulum swings and the communication ramps up: strategy, healing, awakening, transforming, imagining… And stay grounded in the earth energy without succumbing to paralyzing inertia.
Grabbing hold of the pendulum…is it a clock pendulum, evenly balanced going to and fro (left/right/left/right) or a divining pendulum going clockwise/counter-clockwise/back/forth/side to side?
Thanks for the images that make me think and not just react to the ugly, ugly start to this Mercury Rx.
JannKinz
Who do I have to thank for such a wonderful piece ? <3
Thank you so much for today’s wonderful blog. Have been battling a lot lately with old issues of self-worth and insecurity, but have sensed they’ve been coming up to be ‘seen’, these false gods. And this piece makes it all so clear – and how to deal with it all. Many many thanks.