Tomorrow the Moon in Libra opposes the Aries Sun to create the Libra Full Moon just before 3:19 pm EDT. You’ve probably been feeling the build of this polarizing energy all week: an undercurrent of push/pull or the sense that tension is building between you and someone else (or everyone else). But given yesterday’s Mercury station and a mutable-sign cross triggering all kinds of baggage for people, it may feel like all one thing for you. And it is. In fact, with the Sun conjunct Vesta and Eris for this Full Moon, the themes we’ve been exploring this week – giving oneself and one’s relationships space and listening for the secrets we’ve been keeping from ourselves – get another reiteration.
It’s kind of like the Sun opens the door of the Full Moon, slips through, and finds itself in this room with Vesta and Eris. Vesta stands at the threshold, holding space for all those fragmented and cast-aside parts of us.
On the other side of that wheel is the Moon in Libra. We’re being pulled on one side by the emotions we have tied up in our relationships. On the other side, we want creative and psychological space. This Full Moon may be instigating questions. Do you sacrifice yourself for relationships? How does stoking your own creative and sexual flame play out when you relate to others? Is it possible for all to benefit, as that energy ripples out, and can it be used to dissolve a deadlock in a particular situation? What secrets are you not only keeping from others, but from yourself?
That last question in particular is being reiterated elsewhere in the sky, by a square between Venus in Taurus and Neptune in Pisces. That aspect looks a lot like self-deception – a theme very much related to the ideas in yesterday’s Daily Astrology with regard to the mutable-sign grand gross still in effect. But today and tomorrow, the Full Moon adds momentum to the whole aspect structure. In fact, the axis for the Libra Full Moon is on a 45-degree angle to Neptune and the mutable cross, so the energy is feeding into it. It’s all part of the same picture, the same message.
People struggle in being ‘real’; often we’re afraid of it even when we think we’re not. And that vulnerability created by not being authentic makes us susceptible to being lied to in the public sphere, where it gets taken advantage of to great profit on one side – and tremendous deficit on the other; that is, ours.
Or consider the realm of Facebook, where everyone carefully crafts their image even as they are seduced by the detachment of the Internet to type without thinking. And now employers are doing things like demanding the Facebook passwords of new hires, to see who they ‘really are’. The pressure to hide the truth of ourselves increases in direct proportion to how uncomfortable we are with admitting that truth – and with taking responsibility for it. And the longer we’ve been ignoring these little hidden truths about ourselves, the more impossible it can seem to own up to them.
So here is Vesta conjunct the Sun, holding space for and standing guard over all these things we don’t talk about – but really want to. Things like our perviest fantasies or how we really feel about our best friend’s looks/habits/abilities – not to mention what those judgments say about how we feel about ourselves. This is where we hide the real roots of our guilt; our truest desires; the anger we stuffed down as children; our fear that we’ll never ‘get it right’; or our knowledge that we actually can ‘get it right’.
Full Moons are famous for their squirrely-feeling tension. Yet that tension can also be used to dissolve deadlocks if you can negotiate between the two opposing sides, one at a time. Whether negotiations take place between your cache of inner secrets and your consciousness, or between you another, continue to take your time as you communicate and listen carefully. Mercury is direct, but moving slowly – and has some rich ground to cover before it’s out of this echo phase.
did you see her?
http://spaceweather.com/submissions/large_image_popup.php?image_name=Anthony-Ayiomamitis-lunar-scenic-oropos-04_1333741090.jpg
Thank you Carrie, It’ reassuring to read your words. I look forward to her showing up. 🙂
Amanda,
Oh sorry, I just realized it was Sarah who exchanged the terms; you only commented after that. I typed your name in instead of hers because yours was the most recent reference to it so though my mind was thinking “Sarah,” my hand was typing “Amanda.” :::sheepish grin:::
I knew she wasn’t addressing me but I wanted to clarify my own comment in addition to hers so as to be clear to everyone what I meant. In other words, it was meant as a clarification of my meaning and intent, not as an admonishment. This medium (commenting on the internet) lacks the emotional cues that would have made my comment seem less like an admonishment. :::smile:::
HS,
I know this will sound cliche but it was when I realized that I was worth the best, that I deserved the relationship I really wanted, and that I wasn’t ever going to take second best even if that meant being alone; that’s when I found the relationship I now have.
It was in giving up the notion of having to have someone, no matter what, in order to be a whole person, that I gained myself and the ability to remain myself in the relationship. When I met Dave, I had decided no more pretense so as his friend, I told him EVERYTHING about myself; shadow side, socially unacceptable side and all. He didn’t leave, didn’t run away, didn’t freak out. Instead, both of us shared those deepest shadow sides and found we felt connected anyway. Both of us still felt a solid, caring and deep love for one another based on trust and honesty. We have been working to keep it that way ever since.
You’re very welcome dear Getcalm. Let us know how it all goes, and remember that you’re not alone.
Much love xxx
Thank you for the gentle holding witnessing that makes me grateful to be a part of this community.
“Do you sacrifice yourself for relationships?”
oy, this one applies, been a constant work over the last few years actually (virgoan self-sacrifice I’m told). The latest is about several close friends having an music/poetry event, kind of a big deal – some of which are traveling overseas for, and I’ve been having issues with them wanting to use my space to celebrate, yet not feeling as connected as I thought we were. Part of it gets to the whole book of facades thing (I deleted mine same way last year HugS), since they graduated and moved back home, seems as if because I’m not on fb, then they don’t stay in contact. Part of the reason I opted out, made me feel more disconnected than ever. I’ve reached out with calls on birthdays and special days and in general, but it’s not reciprocated. These are people that were like family to me so it’s been a bit heartbreaking to realize the connections aren’t quite what I thought they were. Maybe it’s about that “being real” piece, I’ve scared a lot of people off with how real I am because I’m not willing to settle for superficiality within myself or anyone else I connect with. I will call you on your shit just like I expect you to do for me, and have been willing to give everything up in honor of the same. It’s a lonely, harsh path most of the time, but I can get enough of the artificial everywhere else. Exploring within is truly the last frontier.
I sent a very polite email to my division, asking them, after six consecutive drop-in visits in the hour and a half I started work, not to make so free to waltz right into my office and ask me their burning contract question of the minute. I reminded them that I myself have my own work to do, and that if I am continually bombarded with their questions — questions better left asked and answered by an email or a phone message, their entire capital improvement program will get bulldozed into the ground because they have driven their contract manager insane because she didn’t have enough time to actually get out the contracts to start their projects.
I did it nicely, and politely, ending with the sentence: “By following this, it will help keep my stress level down and I can be more of a (kinder) help to you.”
It was 11:30 since I sent that out. I have had nothing but peace and quiet the whole day. Ahhhhh.
Carrie, your last comment is so true. Thank you for that. I couldn’t agree more. I’m also not cynical, thinking good relationships can’t happen (not to suggest you are). My experiment right now seems to be weeding out people who pop up in my life with weird games or some kind of subtle dishonesty. I know one has to roll with some stuff at the beginning as both people allow barriers to fall. But there is also a distinction one can feel between the two. My experiment also is in directly having faith that I have the ability to attract the very wholesomeness and honesty that I try my best to emulate.
carrie, i was not replying to your comment, but to a different one — and only to indicate the distinction being made, not to discount anything said by anyone.
“I can understand the devastation that a discovery like this can and does wreak, a part of me feels that it happens so often, surely there must be a better way than this?
I have no solutions, no answers, but only a knowing that something feels overdue for a change — whether it is how we ‘do’ relationships, or how we choose to see them — and how we see ourselves in them. All I know for sure is that even with the best of intentions and perhaps a deep love, something still continues not to work for one or more of the parties concerned.”
I would posit that a huge part of the reason for these things happening is not because monogamy doesn’t work but rather because people go into such complex things unaware of themselves and their baggage and motivations and needs. Most people are walking asleep; they are unaware, full of psychological issues and baggage, and have no tools with which to deal with their own issues much less another complex human being’s.
If everyone were educated about these things and facilitated to deal with them before relating, (and that includes the social expectations foisted upon all of us which are not real but constructed) then many more would not go into relationships so burdened and would be able to approach relating more honestly.
It isn’t really about monogamy vs polyamory…it is about people needing to see (and embrace) their shadow sides, needing to face reality and see through (and beyond) superficial social constructs, needing to see their own programming and make corrections for it, and finding their real selves BEFORE going into relationships. You have to be whole before relating.
Amanda,
I didn’t exchange the word “sacrifice” for “devotion.” I said sacrifice as service. That is very different. Sometimes we sacrifice parts of ourselves in the service of greater things. Sometimes those things are greater than the parts and therefore the sacrifice is not a burden or holding myself back or losing part of myself. Instead it is (using a metaphor here) like giving up rich food (which I love) for a healthier, better functioning body (which I also love). The former is nice but the latter has greater significance for my survival. The former brings pleasure but at the price of a possibly shortened life; the latter brings some suffering but at the price of a longer life. I make the choice which I want, the former or the latter.
I have found that some people see such sacrifice of parts of themselves as anathema (and they fear it) whereas others see it as part of the give and take of creation. I don’t think either view is wrong; just different and based on the soul-needs of the person doing the viewing.
I’m part of an online community of parents, mainly mothers. Many posts are about finding out that a partner/husband/wife has been having an emotional and/or sexual affair, and while I can understand the devastation that a discovery like this can and does wreak, a part of me feels that it happens so often, surely there must be a better way than this?
I have no solutions, no answers, but only a knowing that something feels overdue for a change — whether it is how we ‘do’ relationships, or how we choose to see them — and how we see ourselves in them. All I know for sure is that even with the best of intentions and perhaps a deep love, something still continues not to work for one or more of the parties concerned.
I also have in the back of my mind the story of A Course In Miracles, and how something life-changing for many (not for everyone, I know) came about because two people decided to do something differently.
Getcalm, thank you for sharing your pain and your plan for healing here. You have inspired me to address issues of my own in this realm. Blessing and light to you.
Huffy, weird dreams here too, but your orgasmic soup takes the cake 🙂
HS, Carrie, ya. I barely use FB. Just “not into” it but do use it to maintain certain contacts – as many ppl now seem to use only it for communicating.
Thanks PW – good stuff.
definitely a difference between devotion and sacrifice — hence the use of “sacrifice” in the article. it is fully intended to denote something that “devotion” does not.
Everyone, I of course acknowledge many many other factors of illness, so I don’t want to seem insensitive or ignorant.
thanks Carrie!
It’s no wonder so many kids and adults have ADHD, nervous system disorders, brain tumors, and mental illness. We’ve become so disconnected with Nature and our natural rhythms. We’ve disassociated ourselves from our unconscious archetypes and the raw wisdom they connect us to. I am sure Eric would criticize me, but I don’t have any cable nor watch TV (except good movies!). Even independent internet sites can be toxic and misleading. As agent smith so nicely put, “I’ve changed. I’m unplugged. A new man, so to speak.”
…okay, I’ll shut up now.
🙂
HS
Carrie – Yes, point taken about the idea of sacrifice in relationships. I agree: sacrifice can be a wonderful thing. Though perhaps the word ‘devotion’ works better for me — that implies giving without something being taken away.
Hugging,
You have written something I have been noticing as well. I used Facebook at first to keep in touch but now it drags at me so much. I am limiting my time on it from this week on because it sucks up too much of my time. This happened because I have no local aware, intelligent people to talk to. This is not for lack of trying; it is because everyone is too busy (me included) with just living that getting people together is like pulling teeth. So I crave intelligent, compassionate, aware conversation and relating. My husband and I both feel this lack; it is even harder for him because men are even more reticent about forming relationships like that.
I get some here at PW but real face time is still missing. There seems to be a real lack of community; the hyper-competitive society we live in has polarized everyone into specialized internet-interactive groups. Getting people to change from that is really hard because the internet has become the latest drug.
“Do you sacrifice yourself for relationships?”
Sometimes. Not all sacrifice is bad; some is actually service instead of sacrifice.
“What secrets are you not only keeping from others, but from yourself?”
Ah, there’s the thing. I know my secrets but I fear letting them out. Not from my husband because he knows them but people I value; that’s another story. I have lost so many people I value (for their insight, their intelligence, their emotional support) when they figure out the things I hide.
The funny thing is, what I hide is not evil stuff or bad stuff; it is just socially different stuff.
That fear is what I must overcome.
Getcalm,
Thank you for opening up and sharing your secret. I know most folks will focus on the love and light of moving on but I also know that rage and anger are part of the journy; a part it is unwise to ignore. So in the spirit of supporting you in this journey, I offer this small, often used and cliche saying which is so apropos: Living well is the best revenge.
I know, revenge is a taboo subject and one most people treat as unhealthy but the rage wants it and the shame wants it and the pain wants it. Problem is, revenge just ties us to the perp…forever. That’s why living well is the best revenge because it puts the focus on YOU instead of on the perp. It focuses on your happiness, not on getting even. It cuts the ties and you walk free. So when the rage and anger is done and the healing is in full progress, your living well, living healed, living free of the shame and blame is the best revenge because it means you are no longer tied to the perp.
Your words tell me that you are well on that path of living for YOU. Go for it and know we have your back.
“Do you sacrifice yourself for relationships? How does stoking your own creative and sexual flame play out when you relate to others? Is it possible for all to benefit, as that energy ripples out, and can it be used to dissolve a deadlock in a particular situation? What secrets are you not only keeping from others, but from yourself?”
I have felt breakthrough after breakthrough in striving to find answers to these questions, and I sense change coming to meet me.
Getcalm: my heart, and support go out to you.
GetCalm, thank you for trusting the PW Clan in sharing your journey. May the healing continue. The Mercury echo phase ends on April 23, 2012 at 6:38 EDT. Using a minimum movement of 40 arc minutes per day as a baseline, the storm phase ends on April 14 (if I did the math correctly in my haste). As an aside, the question I have is whether storm phases apply to all retrograde planets or just Merc?
Thank you, GC, for my “take-away” phrases for meditation for the day: “I am no longer willing to carry what conceals my light and crushes my spirit” and “the healing release of a secret that serves no one but a predator” as I am listening for the secrets I am keeping from myself and from others.
I am reminded of a phrase from a friend, possibly sourced in AA: “You are only as sick as your secrets.” Together, all serves to bring a lase-like focus to the current astrological message, especially the Sun and Vesta, door flung open to the light.
JannKinz
Getcalm, wow, that is some heroic stuff you are dealing with. Lots of love with that!
This article reminded me of last Sept. I came back from an amazing canoe trip, 8 days in the amazing wild, only to feel so disjointed in my relations to others. I was so disgusted at Facebook and the whole “Tweet, Twitch, and Text” mentality out there. I would be sitting in room or on the subway and everyone was plugged into some kind of gizmo. They were like robots, and worse, completely hyped up and strung out, eager to get that email sent or upload some nano second sound byte that would fire off an endorphin just one more time, just one more time, just one more time, just….
So, I promptly deleted my FB account. I mean everything! It took me 3 hours but I wiped it clean, and have been off ever since without ever looking back. It’s a drug. I’ve been looking around more, interacting more in physical and meaningful ways, and in experiences borne out of reality – not marketing or delusion.
It’s funny though, I signed up on it to become more connected to people and events, to kick me out of a rut where I forgot what it was to have a life. Seeing others apparently having a life and fun, etc, shone a light on how I was the robot and completely isolated from others and myself. But there’s a mind-suck to it that is really f**ked up. Maybe I was the suck, who knows. I feel amazing though, like I’ve been through rehab or something!
Okay, I’m not judging anyone who loves FB! Don’t hate me! 🙂
Love and Hugs!
HugS
Sounds like a great weekend for the retreat I have planned – to get to know, and listen to “the girl in the Black Tunnel”, a part of myself ferreted away that just came into my consciousness monday via a chiropractor/healer. With Vesta standing at the opening to the tunnel, I plan on having some deep conversation with her, and some deep listening.
GetCalm keep going! it’s the start of a long journey, with some rough days ahead, but it is so worth it. As Madonna says, we can no longer carry their sins on our backs. It is time to hand it all back over to the rightful source, and allow them to process it, so we can fully live our own lives.
Umm. Taking a quick break from work to write about a dream I had cos there was such a weird image in it. I was back home with my folks, sitting in the kitchen. At a certain point my mother went out of the room, and I sat at the large dining table with my father, chatting amicably. Then he produced a large bowl of salad (he’s never made salad in his life before – doesn’t cook). But here’s the weird part – there was a large bowl of a sort of bean soup on one of the kitchen surfaces at the side. It was cooking away, though it wasn’t on the stove – and in some strange way it represented my mother. Well this ‘soup’ had a kind of orgasm! I’ve never had anything inanimate have an orgasm in a dream before. And I wondered if anyone had ever had such a kind of image in a dream. My title of the dream is ‘It’s been soup’.Better get back to work..
We are all here for you, Getcalm.
GetCalm~
I second these emotions. You are exactly right in all you’ve said. When you’ve processed the whole experience, I do hope you’ll let us know how you’re doing. Hugs.
(((((((Getcalm)))))))
And I send you a huge virtual hug too, Getcalm. Give you and your body lots of treats if you can – gentle massages, walks in the countryside, to help with grounding and release.xxx
Fabulous PW! Thank you so much. I send you lots of love and light dear Getcalm. I’m glad you’ve been able to release your secret and that your healing journey is underway.
how long is Mercury in the echo phase? What is up w Nessus now and over the next two mos?
Been breaking the silence around the 32 year secret I have held surrounding an 8 month long serial raping by a police officer/ high school advisor who threatened to kill me if I told. So, until earlier this year I hadn’t told a soul, but all that is changing as I have embraced this healing energy spiral on the 2012 rocket.
Talk about getting real and living the vulnerability! I have made tremendous use of this Merc/Mars retro w Chiron to ferret out the help I have needed to bring this out into the open. And to hand back the shame that has shackled me as I did everything to keep anyone from knowing b/c he brainwashed me into thinking a) I was ruined and b) that it was my fault. The reality is that when the rapist is the police, there is no where to turn for help. But I am no longer willing to carry what conceals my light and crushes my spirit. I have committed this year to healing a too old wound and releasing the ancestral glop that is mixed into shame messaging that set the stage for this horror. Am planning a trip 6/4/12 to the scenes of the crimes and to an ancestral homestead to further detox these body memories and wonder where Nessus will be then given the other auspicious planets in play that week.
Thanks for being witnesses to the healing release of a secret that serves no one but a predator. Keep on bringing out the guidance in these posts to help me navigate the cosmic waters.