Yesterday’s Daily Astrology post noted the idea of organizing our thoughts about healing, as suggested by Mercury’s trine to Chiron (Scorpio to Pisces, exact Wednesday at 5:16 am EST). You could also think of that trine as being about healing communication, or communication as healing — and a minor planet entering another major aspect is giving us something to talk about.
That “something” is any erotic or sexual idea that keeps pressing at your psyche, but which you can never quite bring yourself to say out loud.
Maybe it’s something that seems weird or dangerous or shameful, or maybe it’s just not ‘the kind of thing that gets said’ by people ‘like you’, or in your part of the country, or in your family.
The astrology behind this is minor planet Eros (god of erotic love) in Libra, opposite Uranus and square Pluto. Uranus brings the ‘surprise’ factor — whatever it is that you ‘want to say but can’t’ will probably come out spontaneously. This astrology isn’t so much about thinking your way to the point where you can speak, but rather letting something out and then seeing how the space within you opens up to someplace new. Everyone has something (or whole diaries full of ‘somethings’) like this, and Uranus-Pluto is bringing that ‘everyone, all at once’ feeling to a very personal place.
The asteroid Achilles, conjunct Eros in Libra, contributes its sense of ‘false lack of confidence’ to the situation. That is, the overbearing, oppressive feeling that you just can’t speak your desires isn’t real. You have more chutzpah than you think, though it might take the right audience and moment — even if that moment catches you off guard.
Chances are, no matter how taboo the thing you want to say, scores of other people have already said it (or even done it). Even if it is truly ‘out there’ — what then? Are the thought police going to come get you?
No, but the Uranian point Kronos (a hypothetical planet) is in Cancer, exactly square Eros and Achilles, contributing a sense of ‘looming authority’. Will anyone actually punish you or shame you for whatever you get off your chest? Not likely. This sense of authority is internalized, like a disembodied spirit; it’s the paralyzing thought-loop of ‘what would my mother think if she heard me say this or saw me doing this?’
Does it really matter? Does your happiness, your sexual satisfaction or your full embodiment of your soul’s purpose actually depend on what your internalized mother (or father, or whomever) thinks of your deepest sexual fantasies?
Whatever you happen to blurt out to whomever this week (or write in an email or post to a online sexuality forum), it has the potential to open some inner doors if you let it. Chiron stations direct at 8:06 am EST today in the midst of its trine with Mercury — making it powerful and shifting its orientation forward again.
Between Chiron and the Uranus-Pluto square, whatever develops could have real legs. Document any feelings of liberation (Chiron rewards documentation) in case you ever doubt your ability to speak freely again.
With Eric Francis
And thank you, Amanda!
Ps and thinking about it some more, the way you describe your desiring women helps me to understand my father’s behaviour. He used to be a rampant womaniser, without any self-control. Your words made me see it all so clearly. Thank you.
Yeti the Wanderer – How wonderful! I feel gratitude for your insight/s!
As for me, nothing “weird or dangerous or shameful”. I’ve had plenty of “fun” and intend to have plenty more. Unlike the past, this little fish anticipates creating more/better healthy happy relationships going forward – across the board.
Thanks for a good one, Amanda.
Yes – your sharing of this insight is a gift, dear wandering_yeti. It touches such a deep chord in me, even though I’m a woman, I think because I too have a been a ‘victim’ of the wounded male which has coloured my outlook on life and relationships but is shifting deeply. Not by chance this has come through for you as Chiron stations direct. It is also very healing and helpful for women to know just how men feel about their sexuality and women, and I’m grateful to you and Daniel for sharing yourselves so openly and courageously here (and Eric, of course!).
This realization has been developing for many years now…yesterday was a breakthrough to the cognitive level like a wave that’s been traveling up my spine since I first started to stand…anyway, thanks Lizzy. I offer my insights as a gift cause I think this kind of thing might me more common than just me. i.e. trying to fulfill inner desires by manipulating other sentient beings.
Wow, wandering_yeti, that is one huge realization! I’m so happy for you.
‘…could have real legs.’ Yesterday as I stood in Bear Stance- balancing on the balls of my feet with my hands facing out at eye level- with a Doug Fir my legs began to move in waves as my channels opened to allow qi to flow. I suddenly flashed on the realization that the impossible ravenous desire I used to have toward women was essentially the desire to feel my own animal body all the way down. I’m not saying that sexual attraction per se is a hungry ghost dilemma, but that I was trying to fulfill an inner desire by projecting what I couldn’t feel onto women.
The visual stimulation is part of it, as well as the beating I received from my dad when I was 6, right on my Ming Men point, between L2 and L3 just above the sacrum, the back door of the lower Dan Tian. Yep, in our culture women’s legs are usually on display, decorated with patterned leggings, cool boots, flowing skirts. Man legs are hidden inside pants. The blockage in my lower spine combined with all the visual stimulation via MTV in the mid 80’s to create a monster, a hungry ghost who led me to believe I could find what I wanted in the right girl.
Sorry. No matter what relationship style, sex toys, techniques or whatever trying to feel my way into my own body won’t work by projecting outlandish desires onto women. Maybe now I can learn to have human relationships. That was such a fucking drag.