What’s Your (Pluto) Sign? Wait — Let Me Guess!

Dear Friend and Reader:

Twenty-twelve is going to be a big year for Pluto. You could say it’s always a big year for Pluto, but this is the year of the Uranus-Pluto square you may have heard about. It’s the aspect that’s the “sign of our times” and which is going to make the next few years feel more like the Sixties than the Sixties. What we experience won’t just be the result of Pluto alone; it will be the rare combination of Uranus and Pluto; one will activate the other and you’ll be able to hear it from outside and see it on TV and watch it go by on Twitter. Heck, you might even want to get involved.

Pluto the Dog has Pluto in Cancer.

In our era of history, Pluto moves through a sign in about 14 years. At other points in its orbit, further from the Sun, it can take 22 years. Pluto signs approximate generations. They’re a little quicker than a generation, but then what’s not a little quick right now. In recent years, in part thanks to the proliferation of astrology on the Internet, celebrating one’s “Pluto tribe” has become a thing, and I’m not sure it’s a good thing but it exists and there’s nothing we can really do about it except disseminate enlightening information.

This article is an analysis of what the different Pluto signs are about. Pluto grants intensity and it has a way of focusing a phase of history. Other outer planets do that as well, but Pluto (for all of its supposed subconscious action and invisibility) has a way of standing out and dropping a lens in front of the culture, which develops over a long time.

We recently lived through Pluto in Sagittarius and man did we get it. Think: Globalism, Fundamentalism, Millennialism, Terrorism, Neoconservatism and every other ism you can name, all seizing consciousness at once. The American Taliban was born and wants direct access to your uterus or that of someone you care about. Soon, they will be including sperm cells in the census. Notably, it was during Pluto in Sagittarius that Pluto was declared ‘not a planet’, and this was purely a matter of belief rather than based on scientific fact. We’ve never even seen clear photos of the thing so how could we possibly know?

Every generation has its Pluto drama, which often shows up in the form of a vast identity crisis. Some astrologers also say that Pluto is about evolution; that is another way of saying growth. Others say that Pluto comes along and shreds the old reality and revitalizes something on a deep level. Some blame Pluto for everything that goes wrong and others for everything that goes right. This article is a survey of all of the above.

Many writers helped contribute to this piece and I am grateful for the observations that they provided. However, I take responsibility for my perceptions. I do recognize that there are some limits on what I’m proposing here in terms of being applicable across race, class and country ‘divisions’; these interpretations would probably not work well for people living in rural Sweden or South Africa, but then you never know. That said, let’s consider the basic properties of Pluto through the signs, starting with Pluto in Cancer. Anyone offended by anything I’m saying can take it up with Pluto. I am merely reporting the facts.

Pluto in Cancer (1912-1937) was the greatest generation; there will never be a greater generation and anyone who comes after them who thinks there might be is sadly mistaken. This generation was so great that Pluto did them the honor of being discovered in the sign Cancer. The Star Spangled Banner was written just for them; Francis Scott Key knew they were coming. The family is everything, except for the church, God and country. Ultimate goal was to become an Eagle Scout and work for General Motors or IBM. Still saving for their child’s Ph.D., even though their child has retired. They are ‘still there’ for them. Proud of their children even though so many refused to join the Army, and the ones that did lost the Vietnam War. It wasn’t really their fault. Eventually we’ll win another war. Still get nervous when making a long-distance telephone call. Unconsciously flip through the channels at 7 pm looking for Walter Cronkite, but after an hour, keep finding Bill O’Reilly. Patiently waiting for the next Moon landing. Still astonished that appliances no longer come with a protective dust cover, and disappointed that you cannot order one even if you’re willing to pay for it.

Pluto in Leo (1937-1956) holds both copyright and patent to the term ‘baby’ including use in Baby BoomerTM and ‘Hey, baby’. Seventy is the new 40. This generation is so liberal they’re conservative or so conservative they are complete freaks. Home of the pot-smoking, guitar-playing Republican and the vegan, puritanical Democrat who has not had a drink since 1977. Vitamin C is still the cure for everything. In their day, they didn’t change the world; they were so cool, the world changed for them. Cool is what counts. What they say is cool is what is cool until they say it isn’t cool anymore. Any music recorded after 1970 is terrible unless they say otherwise. Tea Party conservatism is the new peace and love. There are a few who I call The Redeemers who want to dust off their activist Girl Scout merit badge sash and join the Occupy movement, or get involved because they missed their chance the first time around. Once tried an open marriage, but went back to getting divorced because it was simpler. Ultimate possession is an SUV with a Greenpeace sticker on it (or a Harley). Still has original AOL address from 1998. Starts a blog just to see how many hits it’s possible to get. Ruined astrology by asking, ‘What’s your sign?’ several thousand times too many. Many now live on a steady diet of Prozac, Viagra and porno.

Pluto in Virgo (1956-1971) is between the Baby BoomersTM and Gen X, not as idealistic as the Boomers and not as cynical as Gen X. This generation seems immune from OCD. Nobody would even notice if they had a bad case; obsessive hyperfocus is what you do until ADD sets in. Balance means integrating the two in a perfect mix of 12-hour-a-day productivity. Materialism is cool, as long as it’s for a practical purpose. They remain trapped in extremely well-organized cubicles, spending years developing branding and marketing campaigns. Among the first programmers of the commercial Internet, they still say the word ‘computer’ and mean it. Activists among them send around email petitions, or even start an online petition service. They’re too busy to come to the protest, but they support it in principle and watch from the 30th floor window. They will change the system from within. They’re terrified to let their kids do any of the things that they did. They had sex, drugs and rock and roll (which their children are not allowed to know about). Their kids are growing up on supervised play dates and are not allowed to go to the mall alone. Obsessed with health, these people have more vitamins in their closet than the GNC warehouse, but their daughters will get six rounds of Gardasil. Have not had sex without a condom since 1989 and take an AIDS test every year even if they haven’t done the nasty. You never know; transmission through toilet seats has not been disproved.

Pluto in Libra (1971-1982), sometimes called Gen X, is deeply concerned with fairness, equality and justice, which usually means getting married and going to enough weddings to open a secondhand dress shop with their diversity of unusually colored wedding party outfits. The men finally broke down and bought a tux, or considered it seriously. Men and women are equal. Gays and straights are equal. Humans and animals are equal. Willing to take a backseat in the relationship because “I will make this relationship work!” Everyone has the right and responsibility to get married. This is the new civil rights movement. Meanwhile, Roe v. Wade is being washed out from under their feet, birth control is about to become illegal, feminism exists only in certain classes on college campuses and Guantanamo Bay is still in business, but that’s all okay as long as everyone has the right to get married — unless that means getting married to more than one person. Obsessed with perfect looks, they have never been seen with a zit, and will spend hours getting ready to go out; but it’s not for anyone else — it’s ‘just for me’. Females have never left the house without a bra plus three extra layers on. The men make excellent single dads but their daughters will all be hell on wheels.

Pluto in Scorpio (1982-1995), sometimes called the Millennials, does not believe in privacy. There’s no such thing. Nothing is taboo. Lady Gaga is their hero, and they’re the only ones who understand her. They cannot be more than five minutes away from social networking, and cannot do anything without their parents knowing about it. They are comforted that mom follows their every Tweet. Will take a lower-paying job with a longer commute that allows them to check Facebook, which for them is a verb. Everything must be interactive. Not afraid of ghosts. Older members of this generation used to practice telepathy in school, till texting came along. They used to have sex, till sexting came along. Aware of the deeper, darker side of human nature, they are convinced that the world is evil, so there’s no point doing anything about it. Everything is fucked. The government is fucked. The corporations are fucked. The environment is fucked. Everyone is going to get cancer, so who cares what we do or what we eat. Sex has three settings — the purity ring, hooking up and total commitment, which they think is stupid because sex is natural and everyone is really bisexual. But sex can also kill you, so it’s better to talk about it than to actually do it (or stick to oral, which for some reason is perfectly safe). Did not go to prom; went to purity ball instead, escorted by their Pluto in Virgo father, which they knew was creepy, but whatever.

Pluto in Sagittarius (1995-2008) cannot spend more than 90 seconds away from social media. These kids are okay with everything, because that’s how the world is — there’s a lot of everything so you may as well be okay with it. There’s always a reason to be optimistic and that alone can get things done. We all live in one world so we should all be able to get along, and we can change the world if we want to. They know that if you believe something, that makes it true. Everything is already spiritual so who needs religion? Expect these children to want to do middle school in Santiago or Fiji. They are the ones being trained for jobs that don’t exist yet, which may involve working alongside extraterrestrials, for which they are perfectly suited.

Toddlers with Pluto in Capricorn (2008-2023) are already planning how to undermine the structure of your household, the neighborhood association and the local municipal government, so keep all your bank records, checkbooks, etc., under lock and key, and carry the key with you at all times. For your own safety, don’t keep your money in a TARP bailout bank. Block them from reading news websites; they won’t care about porno. Don’t reveal any sensitive information. Expect a call from the daycare that they started a campaign to get the director fired. Forget about toy trucks; start saving up for a real bulldozer, excavator or maybe a wrecking ball. They will be old enough to drive and operate heavy equipment by the time they’re seven. Maybe lease them something hefty and dangerous (a front-end loader perhaps) for a few weeks for that big birthday. If they have a business plan, go with it. They will make their fortunes mining abandoned 20th century garbage dumps.

Future children with Pluto in Aquarius (2023-2043) will be the first generation of humans who are fully network compatible. Genetically modified to have nanotechnology in their blood from birth, none of these children will be conceived sexually; they will be generated in fetus farms to custom specifications. Born with an IP address rather than a Social Security number, they will give new meaning to the phrase, “I’m a Mac.” It will be deeply disappointing when they are finally ‘born’ only to discover that they no longer have any rights — except to marry a cyborg, which was generously guaranteed for them decades earlier by the Pluto in Libra generation. Ultimately however, they will be against computers and revolt against their origins, and their motto will be “Opt out, log off, shut down.” This is going to piss off their parents to no end, who by that point will be waging a pointless cyber-war against some developing country that has banned Facebook and refuses to join the global effort to stop climate change.

Jean-Luc Bozzoli

Future children with Pluto in Pisces (2043-2066) will be the first generation indistinguishable from God. Kids are already pretty close to their divine source, but this generation will surpass all limits, walking on water before they walk on land. This will be easy because they’ll spend their entire gestation dreaming of dolphins and be born with dolphin souls. They are the children of God, one with God, part of God and God is part of them. God is sex and sex is God and we’re all one, and even Republicans will learn from them. They will recite nursery rhymes about quantum field theory and take field trips in black holes. These children will exist simultaneously on several dimensions, and won’t need babysitters because they’re one with God. Whereas children of previous generations had lemonade stands, some of these children will form successful cults by the time they’re 11 years old. War will be banned in their lifetimes.

Future children with Pluto in Aries (2066-2095) will give new meaning to the term Me Generation, winning the legal right to marry themselves. They will be the second most narcissistic generation in the history of humanity. Old books by Wayne Dyer and Werner Erhard will sell for $5,000 (not inflation adjusted). They will wage a civil rights movement for the right to fight in wars, repealing the ban passed by their Pluto in Pisces predecessors. This will be the time of the Second Coming of Heracles and the reincarnation of Patton. They will become despondent and require years of therapy when they discover that the Pluto in Leo generation they admire so greatly was against war, and even managed to stop one.

Future children with Pluto in Taurus (2095-2127) will be the ones who stubbornly survive and repopulate the Earth after Pluto in Aries has come through. Sex ban will be repealed. Silent movies will come back into style. In fact, language will all but disappear, with exceptions made for semi-verbal grunting and extremely vigorous arguments, which will become an official sport. Courtship traditions will be adhered to; calling cards (the old kind, left in a basket on a table by the door) will return; Emily Post will have a revival and become a bestselling author. For 22 years nobody will dare to wear white slacks after Labor Day.

Future children with Pluto in Gemini (2127-2157) will lift ban on non-sport use of words and entirely reinvent language based on words originally known only to one pair of twins. They will go on to reinvent psychotherapy, following in the footsteps of their Pluto in Gemini forebears.

Lovingly,
Eric Francis

Friday, Feb. 17, 2012. Weekly Horoscope #891. | Eric’s Zodiac Sign Descriptions

Aries (March 20-April 19) — You seem to be in a reflective mood, looking back for a change rather than looking ahead. I think this is a good idea. You’re embarking on an important review of your recent relationships, and for that matter, all of your tendencies in relationships. That calls for some ongoing awareness and introspection. One thing on your agenda is making peace with your inherently rebellious nature. While the world needs people who are capable of shaking up the status quo (and you’re certainly one of them), this won’t work so well as a policy in your personal relationships. One key to happiness in this aspect of your life is choosing people against whom you don’t have to rebel. It’s true that it can be challenging to find a balance between too much structure and not enough; you do need grounding and commitment, but lately your tendency has been to get into situations that crowd your space and your freedom. As the next few years go on, this is going to become more of an issue, so I strongly suggest you identify people who authentically honor freedom and creativity. For you, that means choosing substance over form.

Taurus (April 19-May 20) — Venus is now in Aries, and this may be taking you on a quest for your lost self. Your whole life may feel like a recovery mission that has you venturing into strange or unfamiliar territory. I suggest you stay in these regions of yourself until you gain some familiarity with the environment you’re uncovering. You might have a tendency to want to move on and have things get back to normal, but normal is not what you really want, as far as I can see, or what will really serve you. In fact becoming friendly with what you might otherwise decide is downright strange would be more the way to go. It’s time to throw away all of your prior notions of ‘normal’ and ‘proper’ and habitual in place of a recognition of what is so. Be mindful of your rituals and do things differently every chance you get. Experiment with your methods of working, relating and most of all the way you take risks (or struggle to do so). You’re going to learn a lot if you do, and the information will help you make some crucial decisions shortly after your birthday.

Gemini (May 20-June 21) — Your current focus on your professional life is about to intensify — and you’re about to see whether your hard work has finally yielded any actual results. I have two suggestions. One is that you not only act and dress the part of success, but stand fully in the character of success. This is not merely about changing your affect; it’s about an internal shift where you orient on your goals. That said, there is a certain element of stagecraft that will come into play over the next week or so, where appearances will count for more than they usually do. You will be in a spotlight of some kind, and it’s essential that you work with this factor. It will count in both your visual appearance, the way you present yourself in spoken words and in writing, and most significantly the vibe that you put forward. Certain aspects indicate that you might be inclined to bend the truth or present two sides of a story; this is not the time to play any games at all with your integrity. Be clear and make sure there are at least two people close to you with whom you can reality check.

Cancer (June 21-July 22) — With the Sun about to enter your sympathetic water sign Pisces on Sunday, there is some relief on the way, though till then I suggest you keep your focus on partnership issues, particularly where a group or organization is concerned. You may have figured out that there are too many people in your life for your comfort, and too many of them have access to you and your resources. You cannot just walk away but you can get clear in every situation where there is a need to be clear. Once the Sun changes signs, that’s your clue to spend some time away from the reservation and see what’s going on somewhere else. This will provide a change of scenery and put you into contact with people more in harmony with your nature. One advantage I’ve discovered about getting near the ocean is that it’s possible to see out to the horizon. You can look at the water and in a glance, know the conditions of the atmosphere. Whether you do this metaphorically or physically amounts to the same basic thing.

Leo (July 22-Aug. 23) — Over the next few days, the Sun is going to work its way out of Aquarius and into Pisces. Before it does that, it will make a trine (flowing 120-degree aspect) to Saturn. This is the story of working out a relationship issue, though you’re the likely partner to come up with the idea, and it may be the solution to a problem that nobody has noticed yet. Even if it seems to arrive at one ‘last minute’ or another, it’s not too late, as long as you notice what there is to notice and put the information to work as soon as you know about it. There is a risk that you’ll tell yourself this will be worth something tomorrow, and you’ll take care of it then. But what you’re about to get is specific information for a precise purpose and time. From there you can move onto subtler matters of emotions and what it means to connect with others. Once the Sun changes signs on Sunday, the premium on clarity and honesty with yourself goes up. The Sun conjunct Neptune suggests you may be trying to deny or idealize something. Balance that out with some realism.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sep. 22) — There’s quite a bit of activity in your opposite sign Pisces, and with the Sun on the way that means there will be even more energy (and people) in your environment. I am sure that plenty of the opportunities seem appealing and some seem really intriguing. There’s just one little problem: if you’re in one of those moods where you don’t know what you want, then all the options and opportunities can seem meaningless — and heck you might not even notice that they exist. Thing is, most of what you have open to you now is open to you now, not another day. So I suggest you have a talk with yourself and either decide what you want, or what you’re willing to experiment with. Part of how you can find out what you want is trying something, or someone, new. Despite whatever you may be feeling, or whatever frustrations you may be feeling associated with resolving a past issue, there are people around you who have some of what you want — and if they’re not there yet they are very likely to show up soon.

Libra (Sep. 22-Oct. 23) — You’ve been through a tense few weeks, and you may not be feeling any more confident or like things are heading in any better of a direction. I promise you, however, that you will be able to pull back from the edge and that you’re not being pushed into anything you cannot handle. And events over the next few days will do a lot to reassure you that you’re not as close to the edge as you thought. You’ll feel more assured once you know that, and you’ll also feel less alone. There have been several moments the past week where you felt like you didn’t quite belong on the planet, but now even in the midst of similar circumstances, you seem to be aligning more closely with a source of nourishment. Also I would remind you — and you soon may discover — that you’re not alone in any way. But this will be more obvious over the next few days, as the Sun finishes its run through Aquarius and opens a few doors for you. One thing to keep in mind is that not only is there no rush; you’re in an important time of completions. Take those one at a time.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 22) — Your life has presented you with many ideas and possibilities lately, though often falling short of the best possibilities actually materializing. That said, your imagination has been venturing into some daring territory and you seem to allow yourself to consider some of the saucier possibilities, at least in theory. As the Sun enters your fellow water sign Pisces over the weekend, you’ll either have opportunities to go beyond merely thinking or imagining, or you’ll feel more compelled to actually experiment. You’ve yet to discover whether what you feel in potential and what you can actually manifest will have much in common. There’s always a difference — we’re talking about two different realms, one of which is a lot more dense than the other, and where there are actual consequences of action. Just as with your imagination, it’s a good idea to open up to what you’re not expecting. That’s the one significant contact point between ‘fantasy’ and reality.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 22) — You don’t need anyone else’s approval to make a decision. You may not recognize that you’re even seeking that approval. It may come in the form of ‘thinking like someone else’ or imagining what they would do. I suggest that you think like yourself, align with your own desires and needs, and make the decision that’s right for you. There’s a good chance that someone you know won’t agree with you, but what difference does that make? That person doesn’t have to live your life. As soon as you focus on your own intentions, and get centered about what is right for you, you’ll see how little the feelings of others matter. That said, if you can discern emotions from facts (both yours and anyone else’s), you might gain some clarity based on the actual data you become aware of. It will be an excellent exercise for you to stick strictly to the observable, verifiable facts. This won’t interfere with your intuition — it will only strengthen it.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 20) — The job of any leader is to get people working together. Humans are motivated by making money and going to war, so you might say that the job of any humane leader is to find motivations that are neither destructive nor based on greed. That’s another way of saying honoring life and what we do with it for its inherent value, which you have a gift for noticing and expressing at the moment. State the obvious both when writing and speaking. Get feedback and make sure people are onto what you’re talking about. It seems inevitable that you’ll be involved in some unusual depth or amount of written communication, and I suggest you begin any project by defining a clear strategy. The kind of writing you’re doing now is not about being inspired, though that would help. This is writing that has to work, like a sheepdog or plumber has to work. I’m not suggesting that you not use elegance or beauty, but rather that you set goals for your projects, so that you give yourself guidance and you have a way to measure whether your efforts are getting results.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Yours is the sign of groups, but you’re equally invested in one-to-one relationships. Recent developments in an intimate situation are suggesting that it’s time to get out and be among people. You may have a tendency in the opposite direction: to withdraw, close up and avoid groups. However, I think you’ll find that once you get into a wider space and meet some new people you will feel like your old self or perhaps some new self you’ve never quite met before. Meanwhile, self-esteem questions persist. I suggest that you not view this as a crisis, but rather as an opportunity for growth. If you’re experiencing doubt in any form, one logical answer to that is to seek some information that might confirm or deny whatever issue you feel up against. However, the planets strongly suggest you look for the source of the doubt itself, remembering that it may have no basis in reality. The truth is, you’re a more sensitive person than you let on, and your sensitivity is running at an all-time high. So, proceed gently and the truth will come to you.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) — Many factors have contributed to your having an unusually confident grip on your life, one of which has been a measure of self-reliance. Another has been an intuitive sense of belonging and purpose. Both of these point to the kind of autonomy that will be the thing to focus on as the next four weeks progress. The Sun enters your sign over the weekend, beginning with a conjunction to Neptune, also newly arrived in Pisces. Your charts indicate a powerful empathy with people around you, and you have their attention in more ways than you recognize. But attention is not what you want — focus, collaboration and a state of harmony are. Remember that your mission comes first and what others need comes second. I suggest you favor those who make themselves available and are willing to contribute positive energy and let everyone else do their thing. You are beginning what could be one of the most confident and creative years of your life, but the condition is living from the center of yourself and at the center of your world.

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