Virgo Birthdays: Reaching the Root of Self-Doubt

Dear Friend and Virgo:

An intricate planetary dance in your neighboring sign Libra during the next two months develops the story of the next phase of your life, which as you are likely to be noticing, focuses on the value you set on yourself and your existence. In the Western world, we make the mistake of measuring human value — our own value — in dollars. We are said to be more successful if we make more money, and if you make a lot of money and do nothing particularly helpful at all, you garner tremendous respect in our civilization.

Naomi from the Book of Blue, by Eric Francis.

By this estimation, money has either replaced the spiritual value we would hold for ourselves, or (as nearly anyone can tell you) it’s taken on a mystical value of its own, beyond what it might purchase at Wal Mart.

The developing scenario in Libra subtracts the mental abstractions and makes your sense of self appropriately personal. The personal planets are involved: Mercury, Venus and Mars, and in true Libra style, you seem to be intent on weighing and balancing yourself carefully before making any important decisions.

For reference, astrological activity in one’s neighboring signs shapes life and consciousness nearly as much as activity directly in one’s own sign. By now you are getting accustomed to Saturn in your own corner of the cosmos, Virgo, is making a conjunction to your natal Sun. Saturn conjunct the Sun is one of those key life transits that is the equivalent to the Saturn return, compelling a serious self-evaluation and coming to terms with what you discover. (I’ll get to Saturn returns for those born with Saturn in Virgo at the end of this message).

As Saturn transits go, this one is friendly. Jupiter is in your fellow Earth sign Capricorn, providing some sense of buoyancy or loft. You are at least feeling the inclination that life has value in part depending on how much you enjoy yourself, an issue which it’s fair to say is your Achilles heel. For you, pleasure is usually associated with some form of responsibility, which works well enough in an imperfect world; a world where there is always something that needs fixing.

Jupiter has, at least, taken some of the pressure off and added a touch of luck to any obligation you take on; though one of your mottoes is “it can always be worse,” I would hazard a guess that you’re doing a lot better than this. Yet real questions remain. The current setup of transiting Sun conjunct Saturn, trine Jupiter, is asking as many questions as it is providing reassurance. For example, what do you do with the opportunities you have? What do you do with the ones in the past that you’ve squandered? You may be surprised to find that the doors to past connections are still open no matter what may have happened, or what delays or pitfalls beset certain projects. Though it won’t be true in every case, what you’re likely to find is that the most meaningful ones were protected in a kind of enclosure even as you feared they were drying out, left in the four elements.

The thing to focus on now is your self-assessment project, but from the meta-level. In other words, what criteria do you use to decide who you are and what value you have? You are likely to set your standards too high, and make them too arbitrary, for an accurate evaluation. With three personal planets currently tenanting your 2nd solar house, the first thing to focus on is what you feel you have to offer. You could say that if you can’t give it, you don’t have it. If you don’t give what you have and by extension who you are, you will be so much the less likely to even be aware of what that is.

Sheena from the Book of Blue. Photo by Eric Francis.

So I propose you start with what you know you give, rather than the abstract idea of what you have to offer. This will make a map of who you are more accurate than an intellectual assessment. Over the next few months you may notice that what you have to offer changes on a fairly regular basis, and you may find yourself being more ambitious than usual. In other words, you have very strong aspects for both attracting resources (including people) and for directly acquiring them. I suggest that you think of no acquisition simply as such, but rather focus on the factor of an exchange. You have something to offer, and you do so freely; the world needs something and you have something to offer. So the next item to consider — closely related — is what is the point of exchange you have with the world?

Saturn in your sign may be giving you the feeling that you have less to offer than you think. The difficult thing about Saturn in your sign is that it compels a reassessment. The most positive thing is that you have something to account for; that is, when you take notice, you will see what you have.

Saturn transiting your sign represents a maturing process. You might be inclined to say that you go through those on a nearly nonstop basis, but this one is different. On the most basic level it represents releasing many of the judgments you have of yourself, in particular the ones you feel are the most intractable.

Second is that it represents a level of self-mastery. I know this is an elusive concept in the early 21st century, when we seem to lack a cohesive notion of self, much less mastery over it. You can think of this in a simple enough form — mastery over your self-doubt. Now, it may be that you have to go deeper into that doubt in order to really gain an understanding of its source.

Genevieve from the Book of Blue. Photo by Eric Francis.

Here is what I see. It would appear that to the extent you doubt yourself, the reason is likely to be anger you are harboring against yourself. This connection may not be obvious, but psychology is not always simple and its manifestations are not always clear. I suggest you give this idea a few weeks and see if there is any validity to it. If you decide there is, you have another question on your hands, which is determining how to process those feelings.

Let’s say that they have their roots in the past, if nothing else, and that the remedy for the past is the present and to some extent, the future. And the future is upon you. Yet there would seem to be a process involved first. Let that process play itself out. Try to be as detached an observer as possible. Understand something about the past you are leaving behind, or loosening your direct association with. The present will find you, if you allow it to; if are open to it.

I suggest that the most effective way to really feel your way to the present right now is to make contact with your inner rage and see how it leads you to undermine yourself — and then with the issue so clearly available to see, you will surely see it, and you will see an actual option, and you will, I think, be surprised that you are so open to it.

Happy birthday, Virgo.

Yours & truly,
Eric Francis

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