Dear Friend and Reader:
In late 2010, one of the Planet Waves editors posted to our blog an article she found about the odd relationship options offered by Facebook (for example, the category ‘it’s complicated’ being a stand-in for everything other than something supposedly normal, without saying what). Following that article back to its source, a blog called Onely.org, I discovered the existence of a singles movement.
A singles movement? This is about people for whom conventional relationship models do not work, or more simply put, a movement of people who want to go solo. Methods of doing this vary, but I can generalize a little. They don’t want to date in any conventional way, they don’t live with the expectation of marriage, they don’t cohabitate, and they don’t do the boyfriend-girlfriend thing. They don’t want to be half of a couple, in the immortal words of Erica Jong; they want to be a whole person, and the easiest way for them to facilitate that is to be single, our society’s ultimate form of queer.
There are a lot of possibilities here, but the main idea overall is stepping outside the box of relationship expectations in which we so often get caught, like it or not. Those who are living a solo way of life might count their friends and erotic partners as being on an equal par, on the basis that all relationships have value. One is not on a higher rung than another. From what I have read, there’s substantial questioning of how society compels many people to embrace relationship options that might not (or absolutely do not) work for them.
There is as much questioning of heteronormative conditioning as there is in any queer community. In case you haven’t heard that word, it’s a keeper: heteronormative — a concept to contain all the rules and regulations you’re supposed to follow in a world oriented primarily on heterosexual relationships, which are considered the norm — indeed, there’s still a compulsory quality. I am always intrigued every time I see a wedding band flashed in a TV commercial, particularly on a man’s hand, which is often. No matter what product they’re selling, the other product is marriage.
The idea of a singles movement immediately sounded revolutionary because much of the relationship discussion is about what form of long-term committed relationship one chooses (mono or poly, married or living together, gay or straight), rather than questioning the orthodoxy of relationship. Many people have the feeling that if they’re not ‘in a relationship’ they’re not normal. Many places having a partner or spouse is the equivalent of fully-vested citizenship. Once you have someone on your arm, you’re allowed into society. Meanwhile, if you’re not ‘in a relationship’, what about all your other relationships. Why don’t they count? Well, as for what counts, we’re almost always talking Relationship with a big R.
Over the years I’ve been an astrologer, I’ve worked with, and heard from, many people for whom the relationship game as it’s currently set up simply does not work. Who they are does not fit any known model of relationship, and they cannot seem to find partners who match their values. Many of these people are the aware and questioning types, who strive to live consciously. Many of them even want to be in a relationship that suits them, but don’t seem to find suitable situations.
So I was happy to find some information and validation that seemed to be skewed in their direction. Exploring other websites in this genre, the discussion I read was often politically astute and a bit indignant. There was a lot of discussion of why married people get such significant tax breaks. And why should the dentist be asking about your marital status? Is that vaguely relevant to getting your teeth cleaned? If they need to notify your next of kin that you have a cavity, they can call your sister.
Out of curiosity, I started typing the word ‘masturbation’ into search engines on various singles movement sites and getting nothing back (with the exception of one derogatory reference to ‘mental masturbation’). I thought this lack of discussion was interesting and more than a bit strange. Here was a movement advocating living freely and being detached from relationship expectations as a vocal choice.
We all know that many people stay in relationships to assure a supply of sex, even if those relationships don’t always serve their other growth needs. To be free of these dysfunctional relationships, it would help (in my fantasy world) to have an idea of sexual independence we could aspire to. And one logical starting point for that would be really, truly understanding one’s inner sexuality, and doing well with being one’s own lover. But the movement advocating how you can be free of these relationships, at least that I could find that evening, had nothing to say about sex with oneself.
The movement advocating being single was the very last place I would have guessed there was a taboo on discussing solo sex. Clearly, if you’re single and want to be, that implies that sex with oneself is not a substitute for anything, and also that (assuming you have a sex drive) it’s an entirely necessary state of affairs. If being single implied having a low sex drive, Thomas Edison would have never invented the singles bar.
I wrote to the editor of one of these websites, and after a round of emails that went on for a few weeks, she basically told me that they just didn’t feel comfortable talking about self-sex. I admit to being a bit naïve, but truly, I was stunned. Okay, just a little stunned. The lack of authentic sexual conversation is normal fare in our culture. In exploring the many reasons why masturbation is still taboo, we must include that as one of them. But I think it goes deeper. It’s fair to say that considerable embarrassment surrounds the topic of masturbation. It’s private, and most people would rather keep it that way (unless you count their fantasies of getting caught).
It’s about to be May, which was officially designated Masturbation Month back in 1995 by the Good Vibrations toy stores in Berkeley and San Francisco. We now have 31 days of cultural sanction for the conversation. Speaking as an astrologer, I’ve always thought it was appropriate that the time of year when the Sun is in Taurus (the sign of self-value, associated with physical sensuality) was a great time to start the festivities. And by the end of May we have Gemini lighting up the sky, a delightfully kinky sign associated with the ‘dual self’ phenomenon — a kind of inner mirror where you can see yourself as any gender you like.
What exactly is Masturbation Month? It’s a little like Chrysanthemum Appreciation Week, only it involves masturbation and it lasts a month — and it’s a lot more radical. I don’t think Obama signed a proclamation, but we can pretend.
What would the conversation be about? I would propose that masturbation is about a lot more than masturbation — and that’s the reason it’s still considered so taboo by many people, and in many places. First, I would say that masturbation holds the key to all sexuality. It’s a kind of proto-sexuality, the core of the matter of what it means to be sexual. I mean this in an existential sense. Masturbation is the most elemental form of sexuality, requiring only awareness and a body. Whatever we experience when we go there is what we bring into our sexual encounters with others — whether we recognize it or not. Many factors (such as projection and denial) contribute to obscuring this simple fact.
However, people who are comfortable with their sexuality in general are likely to be comfortable with masturbation. It also works the other way. If you want to know how someone feels about sex, ask them how they feel about masturbation and you’ll get your real answer. Self-sex is a path to self-knowledge, which is essential to mature, healthy relationships. The less mature relationships can be mazes of ignorance and codependency, and often, sexual dependency is a major ingredient in the glue that bonds these encounters together.
This, in my opinion, is why masturbation, and by that I mean conscious self-sex, is so revolutionary. It’s a bold way to be who you are, as you are, regardless of any expectations of relationship.
In contemplating the masturbation taboo, I figured out something that turns out to be a factor in the oldest literature that insists masturbation must be forbidden: it has a tendency to open up one’s fantasy life. And we all know this knows no bounds. That, in turn, can point to desire for sexual and relational options other than what one has at the moment, outside the rules. Far from being a mechanical experience of sexual maintenance that it’s often portrayed as being, self-sex helps us open up an inner world of possibilities.
Within that world are two basic elements: what we want, and what we keep in the shadows. Where pair-bonded relationships are the norm, desire for anything other than what we have in the current relationship is often regarded as forbidden territory. If you have sex with yourself, who are you thinking about? That can grant a tremendous sense of inner freedom, something we dearly need. If revealed to anyone else, it can also open up a can of worms. If you have a partner or spouse, I ask you — can you reveal the contents of your fantasy life to him or her? Some brave couples may be able to do this with powerful results. As one of my favorite authors once wrote, only the truth is erotic. Pretend for a moment that the contents of your imagination are not private.
Consider the possibility that the people closest to you, or even those who pick up on your energy, might catch on to what’s going on in your inner world of desire. The more perceptive people in your world can see through you, and those with whom you’re sexually intimate, or attracted to, might be able to tap right in. Yet what we call the ego puts up all kinds of blocks to this awareness, and by that I mean fear expressed as shame or embarrassment.
For many people, knowing that their partner is thinking about a past or potential lover (or a current secret lover) would lead to some deep insecurities coming to the surface. So when we stash away masturbation, we’re stashing away all the secret desires held in our erotic and amorous fantasies, as well as papering over those insecurities. They will then tend to surface in our relationships in other ways, primarily as jealousy.
The term shadow material from Jungian psychoanalysis fits well here. Shadow is all this stuff we contain within ourselves, including guilt, shame, the fear of abandonment, rage, hatred and all their cousins. These are emotions we tend to project into relationships. For example, we might see them as qualities in others but not ourselves. They might become ‘issues’ in the relationship. It’s easy to understand how this works. An insecure person is much likelier to be jealous of a partner than someone who is confident in themselves and in the relationship (usually in that order). In that case, jealousy would be a projection of insecurity (and/or envy and/or the fear of abandonment).
Conscious masturbation, and by that I mean your inner erotic reality experienced as part of your ongoing relationship with yourself, is one way to access and process these dark feelings rather than project them outward. If you experience any embarrassment, shame or misgiving around masturbation (and most people do, at least occasionally), consider the possibility that these things obscure something deeper, that being your point of contact with yourself. You can call that self-love or self-esteem; you can call it being centered in your reality. I am talking about an authentic inner journey, the kind that usually gets categorized in the bin with the label ‘spiritual’, but which has a distinctly sexual sensation.
Given that religion as we know it (particularly as Christians, Jews or Muslims) has not only made sexuality allegedly bad, but has also built its fortune on doing so, it can take quite a bit of determination to go here. We are all influenced by religion’s misgivings and control dramas around sex. The fact that so many people experience forms of false modesty, embarrassment, shame and guilt, in many facets of life, and also where masturbation is a factor, suggests that there is a connection. And I would add that because the control games of religion are most often aimed at women, self-eroticism in any form is particularly revolutionary for them. For many women it is the first place they can step out of their chains and confront the shame of existence that is so often projected onto female sexuality. Let’s remember that there are many, many women for whom masturbation provides their only orgasms.
I’m also speaking to anyone who feels like they depend on others for their sexual pleasure and sense of self-contact a bit more than they want to, and who may live with the secret knowledge that they want to be more independent.
I will leave you with an idea that I’m developing in other venues this month, which is self-centered sexuality. I know, this is the thing we’re supposed to avoid in that we’re ‘not supposed to be selfish’. I’m not talking about selfish, I’m talking about self. Self-centered sexuality means being centered within yourself. This is different from narcissism, which translates loosely to, ‘nobody besides me exists, or matters’.
Taking this to a fully conscious level, say, as conscious as yoga practice, is something that would benefit everyone, and is a space for unpartnered people to explore their authentic sexuality. I would also propose as part of this that couples explore getting closer to one another by masturbating in one another’s presence. This is perfectly intuitive for some people and just as counter-intuitive for others. In the experience, I suggest including the full content of your mind and not just your body. In case you experience embarrassment, I would offer you the idea that the very hottest sexual experiences are just on the other side of that veil.
For those who consider themselves ‘not in a relationship’, this opens up many possibilities, including a great option for ‘friends with benefits’. That would be sharing masturbation, something that can be surprisingly natural and fulfilling, but absent most of the usual worries about sex (pregnancy, STIs, over-attachment). It’s a way to share sex without the baggage of thinking you have to get married or even send flowers.
You’ll also have an opportunity to encounter material that has come up in your past relationships, and (for example) explore healing your self-esteem, body issues or sexual shadow material. Imagine if you could enter your encounters with others from a confident and self-aware place, understanding who you are and what you want. That would give you a new basis for choosing a partner, or allow you to consider the idea that you might not want to be in a conventional relationship. Imagine if you could fully embrace the sexuality of everyone you meet, with open-minded curiosity rather than a sense of threat. This is what I mean by self-centered sexuality.
So, the sex toy stores may be calling this Masturbation Month. I would revise that to Self-Awareness Month.
Was Royal Wedding Chart Planned by Astrologers?
Yesterday, I asked what royal astrologers — assuming they exist — were thinking when they planned the chart for today’s wedding of William and Kate (which began at 11 am London time, 6 am EDT). The chart has one unusual property — the Pisces Moon is void of course, meaning that it’s not making any aspects to other planets prior to entering the next sign. That’s not the kind of thing that you would expect a professional astrologer to include in a chart this important — the marriage of the future king and queen consort. To me this suggests the chart was not planned by astrologers but rather was based on a guess that worked out pretty well. One thing that seems to have been intentional enough was putting the wedding on the day of Catherine of Siena. Catherine, of course, is the long form of Kate, who is now Princess Catherine.
Let’s look at the very basic elements of traditional astrology first. The whole endeavor looks royal enough; the ascendant grants the appearance of things, and the chart has Leo rising — a sign of royalty. So there is something kingly about it; it is the marriage of the future king.
At the top of the chart (skewed a little to the right), the Aries cluster is in the 10th house — the house of the king or the president, so that is royal enough. There is a lot going on in this house; the affairs of state are definitely a key part of the subject matter of this chart. With Aries on the 10th, it’s not too cynical to say that the business of state is war. But with Venus as the most elevated planet, we see at least a pretty face being put on that agenda, and at best, the possibility for something else. On the personal level, Venus in Aries as the most elevated planet suggests that this is the chart for the coronation of not merely a princess but rather of a queen.
Yet the narrative of a chart is usually told most articulately by the Moon. And the Moon is the odd thing about this chart — it’s void of course. That is to say, the Moon is late in a sign (in this case Pisces, late in the zodiac), and it’s not going to make aspects to any other planet before it enters the new sign. It’s a little like saying there is no story. The Moon is in Pisces, but it’s void in that sign, which can subtract the energy in question rather than add it. Pisces is about empathy, going through struggles together, service and public contact (the latter point emphasized by the Moon as well).
Looked at one way, we have a story that is ‘no story’. Or at least it is not directly indicated by the chart what transpires. Yet there is a partial exception to the Moon being void, suggested by William Lilly, one of the great astrologers in English history. That exception says that if the Moon is in one of the signs that it rules (Cancer or Taurus, where it is exalted), or one of the signs ruled by Jupiter (Sagittarius or Pisces), it will do some of its work carrying the story forward, because nothing is in the way that might stop it. And yes, there are many charts where you could get the Moon out of the way.
The Moon is first associated with the sign Cancer, so to see where the Moon is ‘coming from’, we can look at this sign. In the marriage chart, Cancer is in the 12th house — and the whole sign is intercepted there. Cancer does not touch the cusp of the 1st or the 12th. It’s like Cancer is swallowed by, or locked into, a house that’s usually associated with secrets, prisons and things too weird to comprehend. This can include dead people. And from this house, the Moon emerges and shows up void in Pisces. That’s the next best thing to it not being there at all.
So this leads one to wonder — what is this really about? William is designated to be the guy who leads the kingdom and moreover protects the fortunes of the Windsors (the royal house) well into the 21st century. Few of us who are adults today will live long into that reign. Elizabeth seems to have figured out the secret to eternal life, and we may even get to endure Charles being king for a while. So William is being groomed for a phase of history that is unforeseeable now.
Part of the goal of a royal marriage is to produce an heir. For information about that, we look to the 5th house — and there, we find Scorpio. Note that there are no planets in Scorpio (which I’ll come back to in a moment). What we do in any event is follow Scorpio to wherever we find Mars, and that is in Aries, in the 10th house, conjunct Jupiter. That tells us that the child produced by this marriage will very likely be king. Aries, the 10th and Jupiter are all regal enough. But Scorpio lacking any planets reminds us that we have no description of who this person will be.
The fact that Mars-Jupiter is also conjunct Eris does give some reason for concern. So, all in all, we have a pretty mysterious chart, one that suggests what we’re seeing is more like a movie than a real event.
Let’s check in with the minor planets. Using the set selected over the years by Tracy and me at Serennu.com [see minor planet ephemeris here], the asteroid closest to the ascendant is Requiem, which is associated more with songs about death than about love. This may be a reminder of Diana, Princess of Wales, whose presence still looms large in the royal house and modern history of England.
Let’s take a look at what the minor planets say about that void of course Moon. In the rules of traditional astrology, aspects to astroids or newly discovered bodies would not change that Moon from being void, but astrology is in a transitional phase, so let’s take a look and see, at least, what is described. The Moon’s closest aspect is an exact opposition to Makemake. This is a dwarf planet (like Pluto or Eris) and it’s considered an important discovery. It was named for the creator god of the indigenous folks of Easter Island; it’s also a fertility god. So we have, at least, a clue that the purpose of the marriage — creating an heir to the throne — will be fulfilled.
The Moon is also square the Galactic Core. That brings in the large, sweeping themes associated with the core, and the ‘great presence lurking behind the scenes’ effect for which the Galactic Core is famous. The Moon is summoning the energy of the core, trying to bring that quality into the more conventional ‘spirituality’ of the Earthly realm.
Looking at the little table that lists the minor planets, notice that there’s a sequence of planets in Pisces to which the Moon will indeed make conjunctions. Actually, there are four of them clustered in the last degree of Pisces (all with the number 29 next to them) — Circe, Urania, the Osculating Apogee (Black Moon Lilith) and (last but surely not least) Karma.
This Moon seems to be describing something specific, or rather, someone. That someone emerges from the spirit world of the 12th house and manifests high in the sky in the spirit world of Pisces. She has no assigned role; she is ‘out of the way’, but she’s very much a presence. Her name is being evoked every few minutes — that would be Diana, named for the goddess of the Moon.
— By Eric with additional research by Tracy Delaney
Weekly Horoscope for Friday, April 29, 2011, #857 – BY ERIC FRANCIS
Aries (March 20-April 19) — The thing that you feel is in the way is actually your balancing point. It may be annoying for being in the way, though it’s vital as a counter-balance to the energy pouring through your life. For the moment, you have to live with this situation and, I trust, learn to turn it into an opportunity. While you may not think you have any real freedom, you have many viable options available, though they aren’t opportunities in the sense of five job offers. It’s more like you have five talents that you know it’s time to get working in harmony with one another rather than competing with one another. If you seem to be facing a limit, think of it as a container. For example, let’s say we’re talking about a job situation that you want to change. How much can you bring your talents into your current situation, despite its drawbacks? The more you can, the more you will open the way to a future where all of you is welcome.
Taurus (April 19-May 20) — Remember that meaning is only meaningful in context, and currently most of that involves your experience of your own mind and emotions. Typically we cannot see this because we see everything through the filter of our own mind. Yet for the moment, you have a window into a kind of blind spot in your psyche. That’s the place where so much is influencing you, but which is so difficult for you to get a grasp on. It’s the source of the pressure you’re feeling, and the volatility. You may not be able to resolve those feelings now, but you can ground yourself in productive or creative activity that will at least give you the opportunity to put your energy to use. What you’re doing may not live up to your imagination, but actually it looks like a great opportunity to bring your creativity into a project or task that will benefit from some love — and which will benefit you as well.
Gemini (May 20-June 21) — Mercury is still shell-shocked after its retrograde phase in Aries. The feeling reminds me a little of the Earth vibrating after a quake. Aries is a bold sign, though what it represents — our sense of identity — is a fragile thing. For you, Aries represents how you are perceived, where you fit into your social scene, and how you define yourself as a ‘public’ individual. Yet there is a deeper theme to this house, which is what you want out of life. This, you seem to be grappling with. There are days when everything seems like a fantastic possibility. Other days it seems like you have no options at all. Yet in both of those scenarios you are watching life like a movie. At this stage of your growth it’s essential that you take up the charge of visioning your own way in life. You will know the difference because a movie screen reflects some other light, and a vision gives off a light of its own.
Cancer (June 21-July 22) — You’ve been spun around recently, and may be struggling for some direction in your professional life. There are many things you want to do, while you’re confronted continually by one thing that you have to do. Looked at one way, this is a crisis; looked at another way, it’s a sign that your creativity exceeds your current structure or framework, particularly your mental structure. In order to work this out, I suggest you take a long-range view; think in terms of two to five years. Yes, this seems like a long time, but the years go by quickly, and most of why we seem to fall short of the progress we want involves the lack of long-term self-guidance. If I am not mistaken, there is one thing you’ve wanted to do, or accomplish, for a very, very long time. Somehow you keep missing that goal, or forgetting it. I suggest you make a series of decisions, starting now, to guide your life in that direction. Keep your focus, and don’t worry about the results.
Leo (July 22-Aug. 23) — You’ve been running an obstacle course lately. Many plans, revised plans and possibilities are flying around your head like so many airplanes at O’Hare. I trust that over the past week some of them, at least, have come in for a landing and others have flown off to different horizons. You’re now free to take some tangible action and accomplish something you’ve put off for a while. I would point out that amidst all of these different concepts for what is possible, there is something that is particularly alluring; it has a mix of daunting and inevitable. It may be the least predictable among your many objectives — or the one that causes the most disruption when you try to get it going. That is a sign that your idea contains energy, which is, in turn, a sign of its actual potential. As for the lack of predictability — you might call that the ‘god factor’ — the unknown element that leads to a truly creative outcome.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sep. 22) — Remember that you’re still in the early phase of a long process of establishing your relationships, and your relationship to existence, on new ground. At times it may not feel like ground, any more than the floor of a canoe does as you’re coasting down a river. Yet this floating, moving surface area is providing you with a stable enough platform to stand on. At the same time, you seem to be surrounded by a diversity of people who are making various offers and demands. I strongly suggest you look for the one or two that are in close harmony with your values. By close, I mean truly, authentically connected to who you are and what is important to you. Learn to identify this point of contact when you encounter someone, and moreover, to identify when it’s not present. The key is to not be guided by prejudice; you might find this bond with those significantly different than yourself, and be absent in those you consider more similar to you.
Libra (Sep. 22-Oct. 23) — You may be under more stress than you think. The fact that you’re able to handle a lot of push, pull and delicate balancing doesn’t change the fact that it affects you. You may not be able to tell how you actually feel until you get away from people and tune into your inner being. I suggest you do this as much as possible. At the moment you live between two worlds; one is more obvious, louder and full of commitments; the other is subtle, it’s quiet and it’s easy to distract yourself from. But both are real and vital parts of your life. It is the inner calling that is drawing your attention now; it is the source of your energy and the way to orient on your wellbeing. If you’re looking for a way in, start with silence and solitude. From there, any meditative act will take you deeper, such as drawing or music. Deep within the many swirling activities of your world is a deeper place that you are craving.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 22) — You seem to be in the place of renewing a relationship, or are feeling a new experience on the horizon. This could be truly beneficial, as you may be feeling. I suggest, however, that you make peace with two possibilities: one is how you might feel if you’re actually desired. Usually, you’re the one who does the desiring. Often, being wanted can stir up a lot of controversy, among other things, because one has the feeling of being seen and noticed. When someone, indeed, anyone wants you, you cannot feel invisible, no matter how much you want to. Second, there is the possibility that you will have to engage with a kind of conflict that you have often vowed to leave behind. You can leave it behind, if you remember (ongoing) that the shadow material that comes up in relationships relates directly to the shadow material you are carrying. Address it within yourself first, and the relationship is more likely to follow your example.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 22) — You should now be able to get a little more traction on your creative plans. Even if you’ve been beset by various delays and mix-ups, and even if this has hurt your confidence, I suggest you take a few solid steps and see where you end up. You’re not lacking for bold ideas, that’s for sure. As for confidence, you seem to live in two realities — one in which you’ve got what it takes, and another in which that can evaporate in doubt. The only way to resolve this is through action, which is to say, by daring and seeing what you’re capable of. Once you get the hang of that, and see how much you’re capable of, you may still experience doubt — but at that point it’s merely a thought that doesn’t have to take over your life in any way. In my opinion, the one and only key to freedom is experience.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 20) — This must be an emotionally complex time for you. If so, I suggest it’s time to apply what you learned recently about your attachment to the past, and to who you thought you were in the past. I would also suggest that you ask yourself whether you’re becoming more like your parents, or less like them. This is the question. You have the power to take that process in any direction you like. You can integrate their positive attributes, and outgrow their anxieties; you can take on the worst of who they are (or were). In our time, in your generation, the choice is yours. Yet this is a bigger choice than you may imagine. Collectively, we are at a moment when we need to make a break with the past. That is not about flying cars or solar panels. It’s about how we experience fear, and what it means. It’s about how we think of ourselves; it’s about who we think we are, and what choices we make as a result.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — You may get a clear idea where you want to put down some new roots, be they emotional, physical or both. You may not be able to act on it right away, but you can create a strategy based on a calling or devotion that you feel. These three concepts are grouped as one idea: roots, calling and strategy. The feeling, when you tune into it, is one that comes with an unusual sense of depth. It’s something you know and feel in your body. In a sense, you’re not making a decision, it is making you. Meanwhile, your mind may have a diversity of opinions, doubts and thoughts of its own, and you can watch those go by like a movie; you don’t have to react or even respond to them. Yet the thing you’re most likely to get is confirmation of some kind that what you’re feeling is authentic and solid. What to do next will follow logically.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) — I’m always impressed how messed up so many people are when it comes to money — how mystified, closed-minded and afraid. Money is tied for first place with sex on the list of things people get weird about. The weirdness seems to run in the same basic direction — a crisis over sharing, by which I mean giving and receiving, which can then culminate in withholding and being taken from. It’s as if when we shut down the voluntary process of exchange, and refuse to do what we actually want, some other system takes over. This is the time to own your money, to own your desire, and in fact to own any other resources that you consider your own. The reason to do this consciously is so that you can give and receive as you choose, with what is rightfully yours, undaunted by anyone who refuses to actively, consciously possess what is their own. Your power is your power. You can go anywhere from there.