BY ERIC FRANCIS
Do you know those situations where someone holds in all their passion and energy for months on end, wanting to be well-behaved and spiritually pure and in control, and then one moment, under the influence of perhaps a little alcohol, decides to let it go all at once and do all kinds of crazy things and then wakes up and regrets it? I thought you might have heard of this. Whether you are the party type or not, this metaphor applies to your life. Mars retrograde is creating enormous tension for you, and the desire to cut loose. I suggest that as the next few weeks go on, you unfold yourself gradually, gently and intentionally releasing your energy in degrees rather than exploding with all your plans at once. In other words, for maximum fun and creativity, easy does it — for now.
Are these big fears you are confronting, or small ones? Is there really a difference? I would say not. Fear, insecurity, uncertainty, jealousy — it’s all the same thing, as far as your current situation is concerned. Dance with that for a moment; notice the specific elements that they all have in common, which elements may involve one of your parents. That is where we get most of our fears. You could say that it’s where we get most of our talents, except for one thing: talents are usually more difficult to acquire because they require the development of potential. Fears are generally easier to acquire because they have effects whether ‘true’ or not. I suggest you decide which you really want, and which you really don’t.
Be grateful that you’re having an issue seeing both sides of the story. I think one side of whatever it is you’re experiencing is enough to reveal the many facets of what you’re confronting in your life, mostly the truth that the world as you know it is the product of your ideas about yourself and about life. It’s really true that you seek completion and the full expression of your being through your ideas, whether you do this professionally or not. I suggest you keep your current search on the deeper level of a search for yourself rather than a search for ‘what is true about life’. See if you can eliminate any abstractions; go directly to your inner source; be yourself and describe your inner reality directly, persistently and most of all gently.
These have been weeks of contrast, and if my reading of your charts is vaguely accurate, you’ve made a good few choices about what you want and what you don’t want. You’re not done making these decisions — not only do I suggest you get used to the process, I suggest you embrace the necessity and beauty of a total reevaluation of your life. Everything you discover that you don’t like is coming up specifically so you can move on from that very thing and create room for what you desire. Further, you can subject to a conscious decision everything you discover that you don’t want to be true about yourself. Don’t just trust my word: try it and see.
Draw your energy close to your center, physically and spiritually. Be cautious what you reveal about yourself and your beliefs. Keep your body warm, including your extremities, but particularly your core temperature. Watch where your money goes, your effort, your energy, your thoughts. Be careful when others try to define you, and know this when you see it: specifically, beware of when others try to dictate what you want. By conserving your energy, you will be able to focus enough strength to tune into your long-term vision, and to shift your sense of identity in that direction. Over the next 10 days or so, you can tune in and feel the person you are becoming, and identify with that fully.
Who exactly is keeping secrets from you? Accuse who you will, but it would seem like you’re hiding hostility from yourself. Perhaps it’s about whether you feel fairly treated in a close relationship, which you are blaming yourself for. Alternately, it could be your deepening desire, indeed, your need, to transform yourself creatively or sexually, yet at the same time feeling like you’re obstructed from doing so. In either event, the main part of the blockage is your struggle to tell the truth to yourself. This truth may involve something you have long denied: a desire, a fact, an understanding with yourself that you came to previously, perhaps more than once. Be real with you, and grant yourself some relief.
Finally, you’re seeing that it’s healthy to invest some of your self-esteem in the service you offer to others; and that far from taking anything away from you, your ability to offer yourself is a gift you give to yourself. If you’re not quite seeing that, I would offer this as a proposal. The more you offer to the people you care about, and by more, I mean in terms of quality and innovation as much as in labor and effort, the more you will discover that you have, and that indeed, you are. We see the opposite equation play out too often, reinforcing a belief that to give is to lose. Yes, it’s important to give consciously and carefully, following an ethos of love.
Make your moves one at a time. Yes, work with a vision; work with a clear idea of what you want; but make one move at a time. Live one day at a time. Respond to something present in your environment that is actually present, rather than what you think might happen or are afraid will happen. Mars coming to a halt and changing directions on such a sensitive, personal angle of your chart (as Leo is for you) is going to have some strange effects, and one way to handle any potential distortion is to make deliberate moves close to where you are now. You will very likely feel the need to be impetuous; I strongly suggest you let your mind rule over your emotions.
While the ‘home’ angle of your chart — Pisces — is getting the really hot transits (Mercury, Jupiter, the Sun, Venus and Uranus, all at once) I would say that you feel the world is your home and your oyster and you are raring to go. I suggest you make contact with why: it’s the feeling of resonance with your environment, and of comfort with yourself, that’s drawing you into new experiences. This is a rare-enough experience for a human on the planet, particularly in a time when we are taught to perceive everything as a threat. Those who preach the doctrine of threat and danger are the ones who would do better to stay home. You are not playing this game, and if you’re sitting on the fence, I am here to tell you that a many-layered adventure is calling you.
Your friends love you, and they want to help make your life not just easier, but a celebration. Some of them have precisely the qualities you lack, or that you struggle with expressing, and that your current transits are doing their best to cultivate: unfettered passion, spontaneity and the ability to express yourself from the depth of your soul. You will benefit from the examples of those who have set aside or gone beyond their own struggle with freedom, recognizing it’s as much of a necessity as structures and boundaries. You have gone far enough in the direction of integrity, safety and purity. Naughtier times are calling your name.
If you are thinking about how to make money, take a day or two or better yet, three, and do what you want to do the most. Try this as an experiment. See how you feel. By ‘want to do the most’ I mean what gives you the most pleasure for the doing; what you yearn for; what you care about, regardless of its monetary value. I say this knowing that money is on your mind. I say this knowing, as well, that far more important things are on your mind — such as fulfilling your life purpose. I know that many who reach for their purpose seem to sacrifice financial wealth, but I am not here to speak for them, or to them. I am here to speak to you.
Drop your resistance and stay open to all the possibilities. Get used to this — a process of opening and allowing rather than trying to be pure or even positive. It is easy to allow the energy to flow through you and around you, and you may find it easier yet if I remind you that you are protected, that your life is in motion despite any appearances to the contrary, and that your deepest desires are resonating with the world around you. All you need to do is get out of your own way. Is this easier said than done? In theory, no; in reality, words and actions are closely related. Make a commitment to yourself. Recognize the incredible good that is around you; embrace the people who love you, and observe your life with the trust of a child.