Dear Friend and Reader:
After yesterday’s very strange day in Egypt — beginning with early reports by numerous supposedly reliable sources that Mubarak would resign and ending with him transferring power to Vice President Omar Suleiman, but keeping the title of president — nobody can say for sure what is happening in Egypt. Today is expected to be the biggest day of protest since the demonstrations began 18 days ago.
Outrage at Mubarak’s refusal to actually quit has pushed the country to the point of explosion.
As we go to press Friday morning, it seems like everything rests in the hands of the military, which is holding space between the Egyptian people and Mubarak, whose ouster they are demanding. His refusal to step down seems calculated to push a showdown between the people and the army. Though the military is in a sense neutral, “That neutrality helps the crowds and hurts Mr. Mubarak,” historian Juan Cole said on Thursday night’s Rachel Maddow Show.
This morning there were news reports that ‘Al Arabiya television reported that Mubarak and his family had left Cairo to an unknown destination from a military airbase in the suburbs’.
A heavily armed contingent of Marines has moved into the American embassy in Cairo and has been maintaining a perimeter from the inside for several days. Egyptian security forces are guarding the embassy from outside. After considerable research last night we could not confirm reports that American warships from the 5th fleet had moved into the Suez Canal, which connects the Red Sea and the Mediterranean Sea.
Most sources on-scene are saying that the Egyptian military — while divided in its support for Mubarak, who has ruled under a state of emergency for 30 years — is not going to open fire on the people. Thursday, the Supreme Council of the Armed Forces issued what it called Communique #1, at 5 pm Cairo time, confirming this. The Supreme Council has convened only twice before: during the wars against Israel in 1967 and 1973.
“In affirmation and support for the legitimate demands of the people, the Supreme Council of the Armed Forces convened today, 10 February 2011, to consider developments to date,” an army spokesman declared on state television, in what was described as communiqué No. 1 of the army command, “and decided to remain in continuous session to consider what procedures and measures that may be taken to protect the nation, and the achievements and aspirations of the great people of Egypt,” The New York Times reported.
The chart for communique #1 seems like a decisive moment, or at least a turning point, at the end of a really weird day. It’s an interesting chart, which illustrates the stance of the military as stated in its letter. Here is what I see.
The Moon is the highest planet. It’s in the 10th house of government, extremely strong in Taurus (its sign of exaltation). The Moon represents the people, who are solid in their values — the generals, as they have said, perceive that the people are in charge and that they have legitimate issues. Cancer (which the Moon rules) is on the 12th house, so the Moon comes out of the vast and overwhelming 12th — the Egyptian public, the most populous in the Middle East. The 12th is an intangible; the Moon’s presence in Taurus gives it a more solid form.
Notably, Mubarak, born in early May, has become the brunt of a good few Taurus jokes, based mostly on his tenacity in the face of extreme resistance. But he does actually appear to be going through a transformation. The ruling planet of that midheaven, Venus, is currently conjunct Pluto and Vesta. He has given up something, namely the powers of the presidency.
There is a massive crowd showing up in the 7th house, shown by all those planets on the right side of the chart. That would be the opposition movement. Leo is rising, which tells us about the matter in question — the military’s statement. And the military (the Sun, ruler of Leo) is aligned with the people in Aquarius, opposite the sign rising. So far, so good. [A second indicator of the army, the ruler of the 6th house (which is Saturn) lands in Libra, retrograde — another sign of restraint.]
There is, however, something that indicates how fragile the situation really is. Though you cannot see it clearly in the chart, when you look at the numbers, Mars is exactly (to within one degree) halfway between the Sun and Mercury. Mars, always a co-ruler of the military in a public chart, is also conjunct Nessus, a centaur planet of karma coming back through a cycle of events. Nessus also indicates an injury based on psychic abuse of some kind; it would seem the armed forces have also struggled under the dictatorship.
That midpoint is tricky and a little unstable, and if there is peace it’s a delicate state of affairs. In addition, the Sun — the military and its ideas — are headed toward Neptune. There may be a loss of the apparent solidity of the Sun: a message gets lost, its power gets lost in a fog, or there is a deception going on. And there is stuff they don’t understand and that they don’t know. Obviously Mubarak is concerned that there could be a military coup — that is more likely than the army firing on the people.
My sense is that the military is not entirely trustworthy. While they are not opening fire on the public, there have been reports of disappearances and torture. We also see this untrustworthy quality in the natal chart for the Republic of Egypt, which we covered last week. There is something two-faced about the beloved Egyptian army, in which people have so much faith.
The real tension point in this chart is that the Taurus Moon is about to make a series of square aspects to all those Aquarius planets in the 7th, starting with Ceres, Mars, Nessus, the Sun and last, Neptune, ending this chapter of the story. As the Moon makes these squares, it will push the situation closer to the edge, and it may seem like it’s bent well past the breaking point. If the sides or the meaning of events are unclear or uncertain today, they only seem headed for greater uncertainty as the Moon waxes toward full phase and popular momentum gathers.
There is plenty we don’t know about that is not being reported by the U.S. media. For example, the Global Intelligence blog reported last week that, “US intelligence sources disclosed that exactly a week ago, on Jan. 29, an attempt was made on the life of Egyptian Vice President Omar Suleiman in central Cairo as his convoy left the presidential palace. He had just been sworn in by President Hosni Mubarak as Vice President. Suleiman escaped unharmed but two of his bodyguards were killed. The sources said the attack bore the marks of professional, well-trained hitmen. The attack was denied in Cairo but US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton confirmed it in Munich when she said the assassination attempt was a sign of instability in Egypt.”
We will update the Planet Waves blog with details as we learn them.
Yours & truly,
Be My Valentine
Dear Friend and Reader:
When I first started writing for Chronogram, an arts and culture magazine where I live in the Hudson Valley, I once succeeded in causing a controversy.
Oh really? you say. And how was that?
Well, I wrote a three-part series on polyamory — that is, on what some call ‘responsible nonmonogamy’ and others call ‘open relationships’. I guess this was around 1997. It seems like so long ago. I started the first of the three articles by coming out to my readers as polyamorous; I thought it was a good idea to get that fact out of the way. I love relationships and the art of relating, and I like to connect with whomever feels right to relate with, in whatever way is mutually agreeable.
(Trust me, those terms and conditions don’t leave a lot of room for the anarchy you may think is brewing.)
I described my motivations and a bit about my experiences, and mentioned that there exist a significant number of people who either are polyamorous or want to be, but who don’t quite feel comfortable speaking up. Sometimes, though, just learning the word has a way of setting someone free — I’ve heard that a lot. Other people, though, can get defensive, as if the one and only legitimate form of relationship is being compromised. Jason Stern, one of the founders of Chronogram who was then its editor, said that he was hearing from readers and advertisers about the series from people even five years later. Five years! You know, the usual complaints about how his writer was going to bring down Western civilization and so forth.
As of today, the topic has been covered by everyone from Newsweek to Huffington Post and appears as a regular feature on the website of Psychology Today.
Polyamory has been discussed on the pages of The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Boston Globe and The Independent (UK). There exists a very nice blog with archives going back to 2005 that is devoted to keeping up with all the news coverage and analysis polyamory gets. It’s called Polyamory in the News and it will come up with Google’s ‘I’m Feeling Lucky’ option. There are so many published news and website references to polyamory that it’s both impressive and funny. The archives are brimming with this open secret, this thing that’s so taboo nobody can bring themselves to talk about it anywhere but at a polyamory conference. I’ve found that most of the news stories are fairly balanced, describing well-adapted adults making choices about the structure of their families.
I have my reasons for suspecting why the issue is so touchy-hushy, which I won’t get into in this article (I covered them in an earlier article called The One and The Many.)
But before I go on, let me say this.
You read it here first.
If you were reading Chronogram or Planet Waves at the time, you read it before it was a thing in the mainstream press, and long before the LGBTQ movement had its wings or its many letters. You read it before many documentaries were made. You read it here before it was cool to come out (as anything). You read it nine whole years before the word polyamorywas added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2006.
Here is how those erudite scholars define the word: “The fact of having simultaneous close emotional relationships with two or more other individuals, viewed as an alternative to monogamy, esp. in regard to matters of sexual fidelity; the custom or practice of engaging in multiple sexual relationships with the knowledge and consent of all partners concerned.” In other words, not Tiger Woods. And not King Henry VIII, about whom the term polyamorist was used in 1953 to describe him, in the Illustrated History of English Literature, Volume 1 by A. C. Ward. This may have actually been the first iteration, and in a sense Henry was polyamorous in the eyes of the church. Today, he would be called a ‘serial monogamist’, which I think is an oxymoron; I prefer ‘serial polyamorist’ for those who have their relationships in a long sequence.
I would add a couple of things missing from the OED’s definition. One is that it’s a sexual and emotional orientation. It is not for everyone, and there is a good chance one is either born polyamorous, or that the capacity or need exists on a deep level in the psyche. Many people who are in monogamous relationships are closeted polys. They can be filled with the same guilt and shame and self-questioning as a gay kid whose friends are predominantly straight.
And while relatively few people openly identify as polyamorous, there are many who are so in practice. They just don’t want to be labeled. I can see the point, though I’m not a big fan of denial. There comes a time in life when you have to say who you are, to the people who really matter.
Many others are curious and restless, knowing that for them monogamy has run its course. The one certified form of relationship is not giving them space to get their needs met. Many couples are eager to open up their relationships, and not just because they want some sexual variety; they also crave the bonding, growth opportunities, and expanded community that come with doing so. And yes, some grounded sexual freedom feels really good. If you’re one of these people, go on Amazon and start ordering books.
In many of my other writings about sexuality and about polyamory I emphasize the idea that the actual thing we need to be doing is exploring our individuation. I believe that our obsession with relationships, finding our soul mate, hooking the right guy to marry and so forth, are a big distraction from learning to be who we are. I believe that exploring polyamory can — no guarantee here, but a possibility — help facilitate that quest for individuation because it requires us to take a conscious step into who we are.
Then the practice of being yourself, which means being fully honest, with several different people, and explaining this to your friends and family, is the perfect kind of confrontation that provides us with the space to individuate. People provide different kinds of mirrors, and the more mirrors you explore yourself in, the more points of view you will get.
As part of this process, you will get a rare and beautiful opportunity to face your insecurities, do something about your jealousy and unpack lots of the baggage you’re carrying from childhood. And you get the chance to hold space for your brothers and sisters to do the same. There is a lot of processing inherent in being polyamorous, especially at first.
Granted, this is merely a step on the way to the deepest level of self-exploration, which involves stepping as far out of emotional co-dependency as possible. Any form of relationship can become a spiral. But being fully authentic in your relationships (as opposed to hiding, lying, denying, etc.), is a great step in the right direction.
Mixers, Potlucks and Jealousy
The word polyamory is an umbrella term. It refers to no one particular relationship style, and the concept goes well beyond sex. At its essence it’s about love and relating, but the sexual aspect of relationships, including sexual feelings, is considered normal and is treated in a more open way. Sex is not ‘mandatory’ but it’s absolutely included.
There exist many methods and styles of polyamory; I will describe a few of them to the degree necessary to help you check whether you identify with one or more. My initial intent of this article (when I wrote it to be published locally) was to get some poly action going in the Hudson Valley. There are no groups here that I know of; nobody holding events. If you like the idea, I suggest you circulate it among your friends and get something going in your neighborhood as well. At least, you can get a conversation going.
For those who identify with these ideas but might hesitate, I can assure you that once a concept has made Newsweek, the Oxford English Dictionary and a dedicated blog on Psychology Today, it is sufficiently mainstream that you don’t have to mutter ‘I’m not so weird, I’m not so weird’ under your breath on the way to your first potluck dinner. This, by the way, I will host in my photo studio Valentine’s Day (contact instructions are at the end of this article). I’m also open to doing evening or day workshops (I have presented dozens of them — everywhere but locally.)
Name That Celebrity
Here is something you may not have thought of, vis-à-vis poly. We can all name gay and lesbian celebrities. Can you name one openly polyamorous celebrity?
Obviously they exist. But who are they?
Poly folk have a few odd things in common. We tend to be a bit bookish. We love a good theory; we tend to read and write about our way of life. A lot of talking is involved. There’s a fantasy among many that being poly is like one endless night in the old Penthouse mansion at the peak of the 1970s. Every now and then it might be, though usually it’s pretty different from that. Some of us consider ourselves social engineers, helping design and build better structures and concepts of human interaction. Most of us just want to love the way it’s natural for us to love.
The poly movement got its start in science fiction novels, particularly Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein. The upshot of that story is that a human born and raised on Mars by Martians (named Valentine Michael Smith), was returned to Earth by his foster parents. Being raised off-world, he lacked the typical human hang-ups (guilt, body shame, mendacity, limits imposed on his capacity to love) and, as a result, he manifested a very friendly scene around him. He was also a good kisser. A very interesting adventure ensued. It’s one of the books I’ll never forget and one of my inspirations for being a sci-fi and fantasy writer.
That was a book. It turns out that nonfiction humans are less monogamous than they claim to be, and that many of the ‘standard narratives’ are simply not supported by observation or genetic research. But the thing that makes a person polyamorous is being up front about that fact.
Jealousy, the Kids and Compersion
Then two questions always arise: What about jealousy? and, What about the kids?
Jealousy is a factor in most relationships, particularly monogamous ones. As we all know, presumed exclusivity does not address the issue itself. Usually it’s swept under the rug by the presumption of monogamy or by not telling one’s partner about an affair because ‘that would hurt them’. Polyamory takes jealousy as either therapeutic subject matter, or as a teacher (same basic idea). The issue is put right out onto the table. When you can look at it, it’s no longer the daunting monster that it seems to be when left in the closet. It becomes the basis of a growth and healing process designed to unearth and address the insecurity, envy and lack of self-esteem beneath the surface.
One of the first concepts that anyone stepping into polyamory finds out about is compersion. That is the experience of being turned on by the love and pleasure of the people you care about. Some say it’s the opposite of jealousy; I say it’s an alternate universe of a world where jealousy is a ubiquitous toxin. Compersion is like taking a Buddhist approach to relationships. It is an emotion, but it’s also an approach to existence. It is the equivalent in polyamorous relationships to oxygen in the biological world.
As for the kids, I don’t think that any conventional form of relationship can, in practice, claim to be inherently good for kids. Many of our parents who preached or attempted to follow the doctrine of monogamy had many extremely messy relationships, right in our faces. Rather, it’s how we conduct our relationships that matters: the content rather than the form. There are some truly functional marriages — but not all of them are, and it’s not marriage that makes the relationship functional. Not so long ago, sexual monogamy used to be set in the context of an extended family. There was always a sister, aunt, or uncle around to watch the kids. There was always company around. In many contemporary marriage-based households where two parents work, the kids are severely neglected. And if the parents don’t get along, the kids will suffer no matter how monogamous the parents are. If the parents are deceptive, the kids will know.
Most people practice what they call serial monogamy, which typically means instability and lack of real support that a more stable form of relationship would provide. That is not a good environment for kids. Many of us raised since the ’70s and ’80s are the products of this relationship style. Serial monogamy is a way of treating people like they’re disposable. Polyamory is a mode of relationship that, for many people, involves putting friendship first.
It provides a context in which to explore creative experiments. It’s designed to create a stable environment, which, if it does not automatically work, is at least workable. If polyamory can’t make a claim on sustainability, at least it is practical. The idea is to embrace conscious family and household design.
I admit this requires honesty and maturity, which can seem to be scarce commodities. In an old book called Bringers of the Dawn, the Pleiadian entities who are the purported source of the material make a good point. They say that humans are inherently polyamorous, but we have an integrity problem. Therefore, the most efficient form of relating is monogamy.
Thanks, guys. It’s nice to have a non-human perspective on this. Speaking as a person, I would say that we need to be who we are and along the way, open up and address the integrity issue. I’m not suggesting that anyone who is not polyamorous pretend to be so, and I’m not saying that it’s some kind of mandatory thing. What I am suggesting is that whoever feels the calling take the opportunity to get real. If you would like a guide to doing that, check out the book Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton. Not the later ones in the series — the first one, with a two-word title.
Triads, Panfidelity and Intimate Networks
In the space remaining, let me introduce you to three kinds of polyamorous relationships, to give a sense of the diversity of possibilities. I’m going to explain them in the first person, using I-statements for consistency. These are just three basic examples out of many possibilities, all of which are in truth unique to the people involved. They are all interesting, when you listen to the people who are involved.
The Triad. I’m in a pair-bonded couple. We’ve been together for a few years and have good clear communication. My partner meets a man she likes and begins seeing him socially. I encourage her to explore if she wants to; I’ve met him and I get along with him. She’s open about their experiences with me. They are both respectful of our primary partnership. They get closer and want to explore sexually. I’m open to this. Jealousy is not an issue because I think her sexuality is beautiful no matter how she expresses it. There are many other possibilities for triads, including situations where all three partners are sexually and emotionally involved, or live together (the real definition of ménage a trois).
Panfidelity. I am in a long-term relationship with my lover on the East Coast, where I live. I have a friend and sometimes lover on the West Coast who predates this relationship by years. We are close friends and have a deep understanding; what feels in truth like a lifelong bond. A few times a year, we meet up somewhere and spend time together. Our other relationships accommodate this because we’ve been open about it with new partners from the outset. There are other forms of panfidelity, which all involve long-term, committed polyamorous situations.
Intimate Network. I prefer to live independently. I have a number of friends, locally and around the country, with whom I am emotionally close and can be sexually open. I also have one or two ‘friends with benefits’. I enjoy closeness and sexual variety but I don’t want to be in a traditional pair-bonded situation or household-based relationship. I prefer my social freedom and I want to keep my options open.
What all the forms of relationship under the umbrella of polyamory have in common is an ethos of honesty and authenticity. Love is offered in a spirit of freedom, and when challenges arise, which they almost always do, the people involved are prepared to work them out. There are tools and resources that we can avail ourselves of, including a growing community of poly-friendly counselors. I’ve been tapped as a poly-friendly (and bi-friendly) astrologer for many years. If you’re poly and your therapist says you need to grow up or you’re acting out, I suggest you talk to someone who has a clue what your life is about.
As for That Valentine’s Day Potluck
Now for the local action piece. If you live in the Hudson Valley of New York, or somewhere close by and you feel like taking a ride, you’re invited to inquire about coming to my Valentine’s Day Poly Potluck. This will be Monday evening, Feb. 14. You may write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Tell me a little about yourself and your interest in polyamory, and please include contact information. The curious are welcome.
By the way, I have a friend who is a well-studied astrologer and who is poly. She did a study reading the charts of poly people, to see what the successful ones had in common. Can you guess what it was?
The answer is a strong Saturn. That is astrological language for healthy boundaries.
Yours & truly,
Weekly Horoscope for Friday, February 11, 2011, #849 – BY ERIC FRANCIS
Aries (March 20-April 19) — Are you at the end or the beginning? They’re closely connected. I suggest you take care of endings first. In particular, focus on any growth projects you’ve initiated the past seven years. There have been a few. Seven years is a while; dredge up the whole agenda, remembering the things you’ve forgotten. Take a look on your bookshelf for some ideas; take anything from the ‘self-help’ genre and remember your intention behind acquiring or reading that particular book. How many of the ideas did you put to work? If you take a subtle approach, you may discover that you applied more of them than you think. What you may not have done is assemble the various pieces into a cohesive notion of what you think growth or spiritual development is about. Pause and reflect — it will be obvious.
Taurus (April 19-May 20) — The time has arrived to notice that you actually have dreams — specific dreams, not vague ones. While it’s true that manifesting the visions for what you want your life to be takes some action, mostly it takes focus. And all the action in the world will get you nowhere without a concept, an idea or an objective of some kind. You may need to go against your practical and/or humanitarian nature and choose something like ballet dancer, filmmaker, novelist or erotic party hostess. What you may encounter as you remember what you want is how much you wanted to do in the past that you didn’t get around to doing. Let go of your regrets quickly, so you can move on. Some of those dreams still have plenty of life in them — much more than you think.
Gemini (May 20-June 21) — Having tangible professional goals may not be one of your strengths. Having a healthy imagination about what you can potentially do, however, definitely is. Your planets this week offer two bold suggestions. One is to set a career goal based on a longstanding plan. The second is notice what happens when you focus and invoke your desire. Try it as a mental exercise. Concentrate on something you want, and sense how you feel. Do you feel clear, or do you feel guilty? Do you feel that the actual possibility is available, or do you hear any voices telling you that it’s not the right thing to do? You have an opportunity to claim back something that was taken from you. It seems like you’re taking it back from a collective of some kind, such as a church, your family or your circle of friends. Once you see the group psychology involved, you can claim what’s rightly yours.
Cancer (June 21-July 22) — I suggest you hold off on making contractual arrangements or initiating new collaborations for a few days, till the Sun is in Pisces. Stick to doing what you want to do, going where you want to go, and developing the abundant ideas that are running through your mind. Though you may not have noticed yet, your horizons just got a whole lot wider, and in truth those of the people around you are apt to be somewhat narrower. So keep your ideas to yourself; let them cook in your notebook or a document stashed off to the side of your screen. There are moments where something potent germinates, and you’re in one of them now. Honor that, and soak in the feeling of true creativity. Feel the movement and the shifting sense of perspective. Remember, you’ll feel more like you’re dancing than like you’re in church.
Leo (July 22-Aug. 23) — It’s amazing how many people are hurt. It just seems to go on and on, and most people you meet limp around on their injuries without paying attention to what’s going on. You have insight into their situations, but what’s more interesting is the insight they can give you into yours. Nearly all illness is caused by, or comes with, a delusion of some kind. It’s difficult to see one’s own delusions, but others around you are providing a kind of mirror. It’s not that you have their problems; it’s that you can apply to yourself the logic you use when you figure out what they have going on. Look at what the people around you believe that makes no sense, and look at what they think is funny. Everyone will become mysteriously transparent, and the issues (along with how to handle them) plainly obvious.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sep. 22) — Chiron has made its way into your opposite sign Pisces, where it will be every day from now until April 17, 2018. This represents an extended phase of your growth and exploration in relationships. It’s nearly coincidental with a seven-year phase that is ending, wherein you may have decided that relationships are either not dependable or too much trouble to bother with. It’s true, there is something well deserving of deep questioning. Yet you can be sure that your relationships from this point on will be taking on a new purpose. For a while there will be a phase where the themes of the old and new cycles overlap, and you’ll need to consciously choose who represents your past and who represents your future. That is a great skill to have. Practice while the contrasts are particularly bold.
Libra (Sep. 22-Oct. 23) — Your charts are telling me how close to the hot core of your reality you’re reaching these days. Whatever you may be experiencing, you’re very close to doing this thing called ‘finding yourself’. Yet at the same time you may have the sensation that you’re being forced to give something up. What exactly would that be? A combination of factors point to some deep emotional evolution. The theme involves a nexus of where commitment meets guilt meets the emotional dimension of your erotic nature. Whatever it may seem based on your circumstances, the thing you’re giving up is guilt. Straight away you can dismiss that this is a useful emotion. It is merely toxic and oppressive. It is not evidence of being wrong; it’s evidence that you were made to feel wrong. Encountering guilt in any form means you’re moving in the direction of your freedom. Keep going.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 22) — Your sign is most famous for its sexual prowess. Whether you feel you deserve this distinction is another question, but sex is quickly becoming the theme of your charts. I see this coming from two angles. One is that Chiron has ingressed Pisces, your 5th house of creative love and passion. The 5th is sexuality without any trace of power trip. Its purpose is pleasure and exploration. The other angle involves the viewpoint that a close partner (or potential partner) may be adopting, which is that sex has an important role to play in emotional healing. Most of that healing involves learning to feel deeply and to let go of guilt. The two positions are perfectly compatible. As you begin to see the ways in which your sexuality is changing, I suggest you assess carefully whether you’re with the right lover. You have a specific mission in these years, and your whole life must support that.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 22) — Don’t worry, you’re not crazy. Your mind is not broken beyond repair, or broken at all, for that matter. And in case you don’t get reminders of this regularly, you’re more intelligent than you think, not less. What you would benefit from is learning the art of drawing light from dark; of letting uncertainty be a kind of foundation on which you build your sense of who you are. I know this sounds like a contradiction here on Planet Cocky. Insecurity is a reminder that life is transient; uncertainty is a reminder to pay attention, to take care of yourself and to reach for your goals from a deeper place. True confidence must always contain a bit of its opposite. This is precisely the opposite of stoking your fears. Rather, it’s giving them a productive use, tapping into energy that would otherwise be wasted.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 20) — I suggest you be aware of a quality of polarization that may be developing in your life. There are a few possibilities for how this might feel. One is that you are struggling to reconcile your professional life and your home life. Both want attention but you feel like you have to give more attention to one. Here’s a thought about that particular polarity. You’ve made some tremendous strides professionally the past two years. I say this knowing you may have faced some significant crises and growing pains. But the main lesson you’ve learned is that you’re a lot more than a survivor. So I suggest you honor the calling in the direction of home, and in the direction of your interior life. You will refresh who you are, and one side benefit will be a wealth of ideas that help you build your fortunes.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — You may be feeling like you’ve got some serious self-improvement to do. I suggest you not fall for this trap. The notion of ‘making yourself a better person’ is not like going to the gym. When people grow, the main thing that changes is their perspective. Often that perspective involves taking a more compassionate view of what’s happened to you in the past. There’s also the step of not inflicting what has happened to you onto others. What you may be experiencing are the remnants of psychological abuse, as well as some form of betrayal. If you have the feeling that ‘something is going to come back to you’, you know you’ve got the thing right in your hand. The part about expecting karma to bite you on the ass is a direct outgrowth of the abuse. It is not the truth. It is, however, a thought form, and with a little awareness, you can unravel it. Writing to someone is likely to help.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) — Chiron arrived in your sign earlier in the week, and Neptune (the modern ruler of your sign) is on its way. You may have the sensation of standing out; you may not appreciate the attention you’re getting. While you’ve often lamented feeling invisible, there’s a kind of psychological — or maybe it’s emotional — sensation of safety in not being seen. There is more going on than you think. What you’re actually doing is negotiating a new position in the world. Your ego structure is taking a new shape. The inner light that can shine through a healthy ego is coming in stronger. And this is going to alter your relationship to the people around you. For a while their responses may be more intense than usual, or seem a little weird. Take it in stride and keep remembering who you are.