Eriscope from Planet Waves

Aries (March 20-April 19)
Your mother seems to be hanging around your bedroom. I don’t mean literally, I mean in spirit, in emotional presence, in effigy. Have you started collecting pictures of her lately? She seems to be competing for your lover’s or love interest’s attention; or you and she are competing for that attention. Why compete when you can cooperate? The most run-of-the-mill erotic play has many metaphors for a mother’s love, for example, how much attention is given to breasts (at least on a good day). I suggest you go for kinkier than that.

Photo from Mountain Jam 2008 by Eric Francis.

Taurus (April 19-May 20)
You may fear that you’ve entered a sexless phase of your life. In the normal sense of office hanky panky this may be true, but something much more interesting is developing. I would propose that offering yourself in sexual service is the way to make the best use of this astrology. Nearly everyone wants to get sex; very few people want to give the stuff away. Even fewer would recognize this on the level of a spiritual gift. And yes, if you want, you do have the option of voluntarily doing no sex at all. At least for a while it will be easy.

Gemini (May 20-June 21)
Be direct in your communication. Don’t leave people guessing, whether by silence or by your subtle reminders that something else is always just as true. Nobody could ever accuse you of being a religious fanatic, but you have been just as influenced by the ravages of the cross as anyone around you. You happen to have one particular gift, which is the ability to say what you think despite what you are supposed to think. If you wait a few more days, you’re likely to burst.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)
You seem to be hatching an idea for a scene, that is, a way to make a particular fantasy come true. This has been going on for weeks, if the astrology I’m looking at means anything at all. You’ve played it out in your mind again and again. Make it happen. Figure out who you need, what you need, prepare your space and then invite some people you trust to help your project. Setting up any erotic scene, you need yourself and at least one other person fully dedicated to making it happen. It really is as simple as that.

Leo (July 22-Aug. 23)
What is the sex of your dreams? Does it involve a trapeze act, or is it friendly, homey and nourishing? It’s probably a little of both, but these days leaning toward the cozy side of the spectrum. But I sense that a bit of the spirit of adventure that characterized an earlier time in your life has recently returned, and you may be feeling that deep itch for something besides milk and cookies. Stretch your imagination and yes, get out the trapeze. I don’t think you’ll have any problem finding company.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sep. 22)
Mars and Saturn in Virgo suggest that you are craving some extreme form of erotic expression; something that pushes you to stretch, bend, flex, or be tied to the wall. You finally seem ready to throw your “innocence” into the fire and watch it burn. You even seem ready to endure a little pain, which is usually not your style. Make sure the person on the other side of that equation knows what they’re doing. Start with something simple, like using clothespins as sex toys. Then work your way up from there.

Libra (Sep. 22-Oct. 23)
Everyone has fantasies of being a prostitute. Okay, I should just speak for myself. Anyway, there is something distinctly professional about your erotic life at the moment. Perhaps a bisexual encounter with the vice president of your division? A fling with Barack Obama? Producing your own series of high-quality pornos? Actually I like that option the best. Keith Olbermann once said you should never, ever, ever videotape yourself having sex. I say always, always, always videotape yourself having sex.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 22)
Yours is the sign of sex. Even someone who has never heard of astrology hears the word “Scorpio” and thinks of someone’s pelvis wiggling. However, Mars is now in Virgo, and it’s conjunct Saturn. Among other things, that makes you a kind of sex symbol among your friends. You may be saying, what else is new? But at the moment, you seem determined to inflict damage on the prevailing social norm of everyone trying to act like a priest or a nun. Call them out on that one.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 22)
Take charge and go for who and what you want. I recognize that you’re usually too spiritual for this kind of thing; too feminine; too nice of a person. Forget it. The planets are saying that you want what you want and you need what you need and you know exactly who has what you want. So don’t be shy, but definitely put your most confident side first. And remember, use charm rather than force. Save the truly aggressive side of yourself for after they say yes, or at least after they undress.

 (Dec. 22-Jan. 20)
If you ask me, there is nobody — not even a Capricorn — who is immune from the impact of religion on their sexuality. I suggest you follow in a very old tradition of European art and eroticize religious scenes. For example, priest and nun outfits would go a long way. Write your own version of the 10 Commandments, which begin with, “Thou shalt do and think what you want, and bear the results or consequences.” Now that is a religion I can get with.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19)
There are two main factors driving your sexuality right now: fantasy, and the profound need for erotic healing. Where the two intersect is in that elusive place known as awareness. Fantasies can put you to sleep, or they can wake you up to what is going on in the recesses of your mind. Pay attention to them. Notice anything that surfaces when you’re in an expanded or altered state. Notice the sexual injuries that surface over and over again. You will notice a relationship between all of these things, if you pay attention.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
You seem to be going through one of your conservative sexual phases. There would seem to be no shortage of opportunities, but you want the right opportunities, and not only that, you need them. The Sun and Venus in Cancer suggest you look for long-term solutions rather than quick fixes. Consider people at a distance, and watch the direction of their movement. Be a visionary and apply your full creativity to your erotic life. Make sure you focus on the sex you want, not just the sex you need. And for that matter — the love you want.

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