Negativity
July 28, 2006 (with chart)
http://cainer.com/ericfrancis/july28.html
Hello, Mr Francis
My name is Michelle Jones. I love reading your writings. My
question is: What is in my astrological chart that keeps me confused, unsure of
my choices, prone to failure, and a magnet for attracting deceptive people into
my life experiences? With so much negativity that goes on in my life, I feel
like I am not supposed to be here. Is that possible?
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to your
feedback.
Michelle
Dear Michelle
Truth be told, you have a challenging chart, and you've not
been going through an easy stretch the past few years, either. The overall life
situation you're describing is not based on any one astrological (or
biographical) factor, but rather a combination of factors, several of which I
will go over, with some basic interpretations.
But I want to start off by suggesting you get yourself a
copy of A General Theory of Love. This will explain the way that family
patterns create lasting emotional and mental chaos in our adult lives and
relationships, and why working with a therapist for a few years is one of the
best investments you will ever make in yourself.
Here's why I'm saying this up front and not as an
afterthought. As effective as any astrological information may be (and
astrology CAN help you, particularly practiced in the long run), it helps
immensely to be in a process of highly focused self-discovery, with someone who
has been down many roads before you. Ideally, a relationship with a therapist
is somewhere you can BE YOURSELF without ANY fuss, fear or interference, and
then, in the course of the work, practice doing just that.
We all have a lot to sort out. You're fortunate that being
American, you're likely to be a lot more open to help than people in many other
countries. Astrology can give you the starting point; but you need to take the
ball and run with it. Imagine, though, that it's not a ball, but rather you as
a little child, who you have to pick up and carry for a few years, until that
child is strong enough to walk on her own.
The first thing I see is an image of yourself as a child, in
the form of the 7th house Pisces Moon. The Moon in Pisces is the great sponge
of the zodiac. Its personality traits are a high level of emotionality,
absorbing the emotions and psychic projections of others, and somewhat unsteady
moods. The Moon helps us clarify and define our needs, and with the Pisces Moon
it can be very difficult for you to do so -- therefore, you can always be
trying to adapt yourself to the needs of others, or depending on them for a
clear image of yourself. This is a fine way to get lost. There are plenty who
would take advantage of someone doing that.
The Pisces Moon is placed in your 7th house -- your
relationship house. So, you take that whole paragraph above and put it in one
of the most directly, personally relevant houses in the chart. This placement
tells me a few things that confirm exactly what you report in your letter. One
is that it's very easy for people to take advantage of you. Two is that it's
difficult for you to have clear boundaries with people. Three (an example of
point two) is that it's difficult for you to sort out your needs from those
close to you. Four, you tend to see what you want to see in people, rather than
what is actually there.
Why does this happen? Well, if you wrote an essay called,
"My Mother's Relationships With Men," you would learn a lot.
When I first read your question a few weeks ago, I said,
hmmm, sounds like
This aspect speaks of a not so easy environment to grow up
in, and it tends (as does the Pisces Moon) to blur the lines between truth and
lies, healthy or toxic, creative or destructive. The patterns are always set
early and then we have to do all the sorting out when we're older and realize
that things are not going so well. But it takes a lot of clarity; devotion;
awareness; and dedication to your own cause, which for you is not easy.
You CAN do this. But you have to be very stringent when it
comes to matters of truth. If you catch anyone lying to you once, that needs to
be the last time. I would also banish anyone from your life whose relationship
with intoxicating substances is anything less than healthy. But the same is
true for people who overdo any aspect of
But here's the real catch: owning your self-deception and
not projecting this onto others. You must always acknowledge when you're
telling yourself the truth, and when you're telling yourself little lies. I am
sure you know -- the goal is to be fully conscious of the knowing, and then
change your tune.
The past few years you've been going through a series of
transits that have been shaking you up. These include transits from Uranus and
Pluto which have been enforcing and imposing all kinds of changes on your life.
To say chaos would be an understatement. In particular, Uranus crossing your
7th house cusp in 2003 and making a series of conjunctions to your Moon has
probably brought one of the most unstable times in your life. Yet you may have
also met some inspiring, exciting characters -- though I don't doubt you're
wondering whether they're really good for you.
But they seem to have taught you to hold your own and to
define your own reality with others. This is, in essence, the theme of your
life: defining your identity, and finding yourself in your relationships. I
have seen enough astrology like this, and talked to enough people, and have
read your letter carefully enough, to know -- this is likely to be VERY
difficult for you.
You need the needs of others to define yourself, it would
appear. Too much of this can be self-destructive, and to the extent that you do
need the needs of others, you must contain that energy within a structure, such
as volunteer work with animals (people are too darned complex, really). The
path of a chart like yours is often service; strong Virgo and Pisces as you
have will always benefit from serving. But this must be conscious, healthy
service.
But more important is true introspection; inner vision.
There are spiritual paths that can help, but I must tell you that I'm not the
biggest believer. I feel that the strongest, most durable path of introspection
when we really need help is working with a solid therapist, someone older than
ourselves, who is of the gender that you have the least difficulty trusting. If
you have more difficulty trusting women, get a male therapist, and vice versa.
You still have some very helpful and life changing midlife
transits ahead of you. And as you get clear and make decisions, and most of
all, as you define your own existence and set the terms of your relationships,
you will only benefit. The fact that you have written to this column is telling
me you're ready to clear your mind and accept the help you need. Let this be a
beginning.
Please stay in touch, Michelle.
Yours truly,
Eric Francis
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