Twins

 

July 9, 2004

 

http://cainer.com/ericfrancis/july9.html

 

Hello Eric:

 

I have adult twins, fraternal, boy and girl, born on March 28, 1975, in Phoenix, Arizona. They were five minutes apart, 6:19 p.m. (boy) and 6:23 p.m. (girl). I am wondering how in the world they can be so different. She is responsible, hardworking, successful and level headed; he, on the other hand, is charming, irresponsible, temperamental and, it appears, to be going absolutely nowhere in life. Don't get me wrong, they are both wonderful people. They are both extremely intelligent, personable, honorable and attractive. I know what you're thinking... it isn't their "sign," but, rather their upbringing but I tried to be as fair and equal to both children, as possible. It seems that the very core of their personalities are so extremely opposite. How in the world can five minutes make such a drastic different and... for my son... is there any kind of rainbow ahead?

 

Thank you

 

Jo

 

 

Dear Jo,

 

The charts of twins exist (in part) to teach astrologers not to be so cocky. They teach us (once again) that people are individuals and remind us how many ways there are to live out one's astrology, even when the people have exceedingly similar charts, similar backgrounds, the exact same parents and similar genetics. They remind us that every chart and every client is an individual case.

 

To me the experiences of twins serve as a reminder to astrologers to honor life experience before the chart, and to use the chart carefully in this process -- more as a basis of inquiry than as a basis for making statements. "Does life imitate the chart, or does the chart imitate life?" Both happen, but astrology is a humanitarian profession, not a science, and in humane astrology we need to start with people.

 

I also suggest your question reminds the world that we should never underestimate the differences between the experiences of men and the experiences of women in the world; while these two individuals have similar charts in just about every respect, they belong to different halves of humanity.

 

How I can address your question in a short letter and how I would work with them as individuals are two very different things. In this context here, I have no details about their lives, how they responded to the same transits (planetary experiences that happened to them at about the same time) or family experiences, and many other factors; I merely have the charts and your descriptions, and some common sense to apply. Obviously any two people on the planet will have many different experiences and entirely different perceptions.

 

Charts don't dictate life; they give us a set of tools with which to work. Different people use the same tools different ways.

 

So, here are my suggestions:

 

First, I suggest you trust the process of their lives. They are independent people, independent of one another and independent of you. You've done your best as a parent and you got them to adulthood well cared for and alive. That's a very significant accomplishment on this planet. That alone bodes well for the future.

 

Second, people mature at different paces and in different ways and it's not always for us to judge what is appropriate for any particular stage of development.

 

Having said that, here is a little advice from astrology. Both your son and daughter are before their Saturn return at age 29/30. This means they have yet to fully settle into adulthood; far from it. I view the years between 21 and 28 or so as a time to experiment wildly, because there are few other such opportunities in life. Then the Saturn return comes along and we have to make some choices and, in a true sense, make a real start of things.

 

It may well be that your daughter is ahead of herself and your son is a little behind -- or right on time. Have a little mercy; this world is not a particularly friendly place to young people and they are pushed and pulled in countless directions.

 

As regards their personal charts, there are always subtle but important differences between the charts of twins, even those born five minutes apart. One must study those distinctions to apply astrology to the question. I can at first glance see that they are both very dynamic people who possess a special sense of their destiny. They are individuals to an extreme. They are, therefore, likely to go off in entirely different directions (their own!) as their lives progress.

 

The best thing you can do for them is to monitor their progress and be there when they call -- but let them live their lives without the burden of too much anxiety. Who is your son, really? Who is he besides who you want him to be? Perhaps you can get to know him, and love him for the man he is.  

 

I can offer you one clue that might satisfy your curiosity as to WHY this all is. I would propose that your daughter feels she has to try a little harder to make things work, and that bit of extra effort (which may be a lot of effort) helps her ground and keep her focus. She is also more the "look before you cross" type who has an unusual degree of respect for where her life intersects with the larger society.

 

I would say your son is someone who feels like things are coming his way and can be a bit more of carefree about life, and this will always be with him. And certain factors in both charts are feel a bit more comfortable for a woman's experience than a man's -- but that doesn't mean they cannot be overcome or embraced. I would be very surprised if by 30 he is not doing exceptionally well; either that, or at 30, he will very likely learn to take life much more seriously.