Continuing with Robin

 

February 24, 2006

 

http://cainer.com/ericfrancis/feb24.html

 

(Please see last week's edition for part one.)

Hi again Eric:

 

I have now read your response several times and I have to say it is all very fascinating and very accurate. (It's sort of creepy it's so accurate). And yes, I see a connection with it all when you mention looking at those different time periods. I never would have thought to look back that far, but there is for sure a link.

 

Eric, something did happen to one of my children: my newborn son died. He died because of human error; he died because I trusted other people more than I trusted myself and my own instincts.

 

A serious error in judgment was made by a medical professional, and I did not question it, even when I had doubts. When we went to the hospital he was born by c-section and immediately put on a ventilator and taken to the NICU [Neonatal Intensive Care Unit]. Within 36 hours, he was flown to a better hospital in Los Angeles. It was there that we were told it was best to take him off the ventilator and let him go as he had severe brain damage due to lack of oxygen (this happened on the inside). He had no chance of any sort of a good life. I would never even be able to make him smile along with a host of other medical issues that the brain damage would cause. So my son Freddie was born on May 11th and died on the 16th.

 

I understand your point about choices that we make, having something/someplace on the map and knowing we can go there, but not being told we must. I am being reminded of the movie, What the Bleep Do We Know? right now, and how that specifically deals with the science in it all, and how we are ultimately in control of our own destiny. I believe this fully, but in the same breath, I still ask myself: if I did make different choices regarding my pregnancy and birth would my baby have died anyway? I guess this is and always will be a mystery for me.

 

I do know that my son has taught me so many lessons in life. He has made me a better person, and for that I am grateful.

 

There is so much I could say to you regarding all of this, but I will spare you, as I don't want to turn you into my therapist. ;) So I will leave it at that for now. You are awesome Eric, really.

 

Kindest regards,

 

Robin

 

P.S. So how do you answer the question that C posed when you see bereavement in a chart or some other ill fate? Do you just tell it like it is? Or do you soften it a little or just flat out lie, to prevent someone from checking out in fear of the future?  

 

 

Dear Robin,

 

I am truly sorry to hear of this. In my experience as an astrologer, loss of a child is one of the deepest losses possible in the world, if not the worst. Clients that I served on Vashon Island in Washington State have created a resource specifically to address those in your situation, called Kota Press. Please feel free to contact them -- they are friendly and helpful.

 

The question you ask is nearly impossible to answer; that is; had you done things differently, would things have gone differently. And, the more complicated question, was this 'fated'? Even in attempting to respond, we are getting into "having the answers" territory -- which is somewhat dangerous.

 

And given the possibilities that we are now aware of, such as what you reference in the Ramtha film What the Bleep do We Know?, there seem to be many roads we can take. I think to say we are "in control" of our destiny may be overstating the case. But we do have a relationship to it.

 

Here is how I handle the question you are describing. In hindsight, there seem to be many ways to put together the pieces of a complex situation. That is, the past is subject to interpretation. It is possible to look at a set of facts and circumstances and see them point clearly to one thing. Then, that one thing can change; certain memories that we forget can come to the surface; we can put together two things that never seemed related before.

 

As for the future, in making my own choices, I try to be as aware of the many levels of a situation as I can. As an astrologer, I am often in the midst of the decision making process with my clients, and in the time I have with them, I work for context and awareness. I see nothing in the chart as an inevitability. This is because everything is open to choice on some level, particularly if you know you are making the choices.

 

I also know that the meeting of an astrologer and a client is a creative situation; that is, we have a LOT of power to create life, using the map and energy tool of astrology. Therefore, I see nothing -- nothing -- as an inevitability.

 

When I see a transit coming, such as in your situation, a highly sensitive Chiron transit, I will take the client through the process I outlined with you, as far as checking dates going back in the past. In doing this I am attempting to get a feel for how they respond when their chart is under that form of energy.

 

I am looking for a key in this process; I am listening for the message they are giving themselves, so they don't need to hear it again in a more difficult way. I don't know in what percentage of instances this succeeds in mitigating difficult transits, but I am inclined to think that it has some real effect, by initiating the processes of awareness, conscious choice, and whatever may intervene.

 

It is my belief -- and this is a religious belief, not an astrological one -- that karma may be mitigated; that it is subject to grace; that if we are conscious, we may choose another way. I am also aware that we make mistakes, and that these mistakes have effects. You are not the first person who has said, "I wish I had listened to my intuition."

 

Whatever decisions you may have made in the past, you still have the power of decision today. This being said, it is possible and often very helpful to look at the situation and see the ways in which it somehow makes sense. Yet this does not really mitigate your loss. You have gone through, and are going through, one of the most difficult crises of grief that a person may face in this world. Healing will take time, and it will take support. Reaching out to this column shows that you are willing to seek the support you need. Please keep it up -- and please keep listening to yourself.