Impending Single Motherhood

 

May 20, 2005 (with chart)

 

http://cainer.com/ericfrancis/may20.html

 

Dear Eric:

 

I really need your help. I recently split from a Taurus guy I had been dating for three months. I have however just found out I am six weeks pregnant with his child. I am happy to be expecting, however, I am scared that the father won't want to know. What I would like to know is: Is there anything in my forecast that indicates whether I will have to raise this baby on my own, or whether a reconciliation with the father is possible?

 

I would really appreciate any input at all, thank you.

 

Kerry

 

 

Dear Impending Mom:

 

First, congratulations; you sound like you're taking this as a blessing and as a positive life development. But let me sort this out for a moment, before I dive into the charts. You seem to say four things in your question:

 

1. You're scared the father won't want to know about the baby.

2. You feel that you may need to raise the baby on your own.

3. You want to know whether reconciliation is possible.

4. You feel that astrology can help you shed light on these questions.

 

My interpretation, based on my values:

1. You must discuss this with him immediately. It does not matter what he thinks, how he reacts, or what he wants in the end. This is true whether he is involved with the child, whether you reconcile with him as a life partner, or whether some other option occurs. The first step is getting over your fear and putting the cards on the table. However, I think step two comes first.

 

2. You need to decide in advance whether you are prepared to raise the child on your own. And you need to know whether you love this person enough, or in the right way, to raise a child together. This is basic. You need to know what commitment you are prepared to make, and bring that to the discussion. Unless that discussion is an instant, passionate reconciliation, there is going to be some negotiating (or at least discussion) that happens.

 

3. Whatever the astrology says, or whatever I say it says, these are your decisions. I'm not going to use the charts to make a prediction: in fact, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with them, as I have not looked. I just didn't want to miss my chance to communicate with you as a person first and astrologer second.

 

Last, I have a question: what was your agreement about what to do in the event of pregnancy before having sex?

 

Now as for your chart. Welcome to your Saturn return. You have Saturn in Leo, that great moment of growing up. Saturn comes back to Leo for the first time since the era of your birth in July, beginning the two to three year process of this rather famous transit. There is always some big thing -- some great world event, in your private world -- that marks this; often there are more than one. Whatever happens; however you choose to handle this; whatever choices you make; these are the maturing processes that comes with the return of Saturn.

 

What makes this discussion interesting, astrologically, is that you have Saturn in the 5th house -- the house usually associated with making babies. And that is the house to which Saturn is returning. So there is an appropriateness to the theme.

 

With Saturn in the 5th, you want to make sure you are not taking on too big of a burden, if you choose to have this child alone. Saturn will view most anything as a burden; but there are easier ways and more difficult ways to raise a child. So for example, if you are prepared emotionally to be a single mom, what is your backup plan for creating the necessary community support, financial support and so on, to be able to raise your child?

 

As well, because you have Leo on the 5th house, the Sun rules this theme in your chart -- and Uranus (planet of surprises) has been all over your Pisces Sun. So in a way, this surprise was definitely in the stars. Though Pisces is rather dreamy and idealistic, with Leo and Saturn involved, you will work this out; you will have the strength and maturity to handle it.

 

I don't suggest that you use the child as a means of recreating the relationship with the father, if in your heart of hearts you feel it's not the right thing. If you love one another or think you might, then give the relationship a try. But if not, consider some other arrangement; some way of sharing the responsibility that does not involve primary partnership. You do have some time to explore the possibilities, given that you are only six weeks pregnant.

 

A child is not enough to hold a relationship together, and if it is, that's just too much weight to put on a little kid. And you would deserve better -- and you know you are prepared for better. You are, for sure, oriented on what I would call 'serious' partnership and you need someone else who is as well. I can see this because you have Juno (asteroid dealing with relationship and family) on your 7th house cusp. I know that it may be difficult to find a partner who brings the dedication and consciousness to a relationship that you will (Juno placed so late in its sign, in the last degree); but I don't suggest you settle for anything less.