Career Difficulties
November 19, 2004 (with chart)
http://cainer.com/ericfrancis/nov19.html
Dear Eric:
My question is about my career. I'm having difficulty finding anything that I
take interest in. In March 2003, I switched from kennel manager (family run) to
receptionist when the family business sold, and since then I haven't been able
to settle into any one office. I feel like I'm in the wrong career but don't
know which way to go. I also don't know where I want to live, which doesn't
help either. I have studied astrology, not religiously, but for many years and
can recognize cycles but I can't see where my career direction should go. If
you could give me any suggestions, that would be excellent. My birth data is:
Aug. 11, 1977, 3:53 a.m.,
Icunha
Dear Icunha,
I truly wonder what it takes for anyone to be content in this world after all
the forces of socialization, including religion, education, commonly accepted
parenting practices, boring jobs, demented guidance counselors, overexposure to
the media, neighborhood bullies and too much sugar have all had their effects.
I believe that happiness is possible in the world, but I
think that except for the rare few who seem content no matter what, happiness
requires some devotion. And a big part of that happiness is the work that we
do.
Before I dare to look at your chart and throw a big filter
between me and you, I must ask you this. Where is your passion? Are there any
challenges you want to meet or take on? Is there anything in life that gets you
revved up, laughing, or -- most important -- curious? If you want to do
fulfilling work, you will need to engage in one or more of these distinctly
human qualities. You will need to be driven by curiosity or passion or a quest
of some kind.
When these qualities get unplugged by the long, mean process
of socialization, we can find ourselves without the necessary tools to navigate
life, to know what we want, and to act on what we believe.
Your question seems to be about your career. But I would
propose that 'career' is really a substitute word for your life. By your life,
I mean your sense of yourself; your relationship to existence; the way you make
decisions; what you see as the possibilities and limits that you must live
with. I think we're talking about your relationship to your potential, and your
relationship to existence.
So I would like to talk a little bit about that, in terms of
your chart, which I'm publishing here:
Now remember, per my personal 10 Commandments of Astrology,
you are not your chart; your chart is a figurative representation of you, not
the real thing. If there are statements I make that don't resonate, definitely
let them go, or mark them up for further consideration. The beauty of looking
at a chart is that it gives us a chance to consider ourselves from a new
perspective, and if not objectively, then with a bit of abstraction and
detachment.
So -- looking at the horoscope above -- I would guess you
have a sense of your rather enormous potential. If you don't have a sense, tune
in. You have a lot going for you.
I can see this in your 2nd house. We begin counting houses
from the horizontal left hand line, and counting down the little wedges counter
clockwise. The 2nd house is where you have your Sun placed (based on being born
very early in the morning -- before sunrise). The Sun is that orange circle
with a dot. The second house is your spiritual bank account. It's also your
well of resources. You are unusually resourceful. With your Sun in Leo and Leo
on the cusp of the house, you really have quite a lot to draw on.
But -- you also have Saturn there. Saturn is the oddest
planet of the lot. This planet can represent the sense of limitation we have in
life and then, once we get it going, an absolutely unlimited well of resources,
energy and wisdom. So you have an apparent contradiction here, but it can work
very much in your favor, if you have a little faith in yourself. Where you feel
the most limited, you are actually very the most unlimited.
Straight away, there may be a seeming issue of vitality:
Saturn conjunct the Sun and Saturn in Leo can both place the vital force, the
inner core of energy, under some stress. What is the source of stress? I am
going to guess it's psychological.
I'm taking this cue from the square from Mercury to Mars.
Mars (red planet, like the sign on a Men's Room door, upper left) and Mercury
(little blue guy with horns in the house next to the one the Sun is in) are in
a tense aspect. This is one of the most telling placements in your chart, and
because the inner planets so powerfully color our personality, they can create
a sense of reality that is overwhelming and that dominates awareness other
resources in the chart.
Mercury square Mars, particularly involving Virgo (where
Mercury is) and Gemini (where Mars is), and the 3rd house, basically occupy
most of the mental functions in the chart. This is, quite potentially, the sign
of a frustrated mind. I would say that if you want to take the clue from your
chart and begin working on yourself, this is an excellent place to start. I can
think of a few suggestions that would be helpful in working with this energy,
and using it as a resource for building integrity:
1. Study a martial art. Keep going till you advance to a
fairly competent level, and beyond. This is for mental discipline and
integrating your mind.
2. Master an intellectual discipline of some kind;
mathematics or science, or some aspect of history. Go with your strongest
interest (perhaps a difficult choice) but get to the point where your mind does
what you want it to do, rather than telling you what to do. The mind makes a
great slave and a terrible master.
3. Meditate. Yoga counts.
4. Learn to write. Write until you succeed at expressing
your ideas well. Write as exercise, write for sanity, write to clarify your
thoughts, or write to make the world a better place. Just write. Every day.
"The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron is a good start. Yes, your
Mercury is [astrologically speaking] stressed out and -- yes -- this condition
makes some excellent writers, who put the tension to work and who forge a whole
new way of looking at life.
5. Learn how to express anger. From a purely therapeutic
standpoint, a Mars-Mercury square in the mutable signs is a lot about
expressing anger -- or, in some cases, anger management. There can be
resentment, frustration and blame involved in this aspect; if you are like most
people in our society, you blame yourself, which leads to guilt, and then wishing
you had somebody to pin the blame on (that's a good definition of resentment).
This CAN be worked out, but it takes time and devotion. It takes wanting to
feel good and be productive.
6. I think you have mental blocks to desire; anything square
Mars can do that, particularly deeply sensitive Mercury. Learn how to say
"I want."
Let's switch gears. I think it's likely that the above
material is what you're aware of on some fairly obvious level; the chart has a
lot to say about what you're NOT aware of, and that something is contained in
the 12th house (as usual).
The 12th house is the one that's right above the horizon, on
the left side of the chart, above the horizontal line. The 12th is an extremely
interesting paradox. It is the "house of the rising Sun." Literally,
when you look at sunrise, you are seeing the Sun enter the 12th house. You can
SEE the Sun in this house and it's hard to miss; it's the first and often the
most beautiful place you can see it. But it seems that for most people, the 12th
house is full of clouds on the horizon, and we cannot see the sky or the
planets beyond those clouds.
You have three major planets in this house: Jupiter, the
Moon and Venus. I could say a lot about all of these, but let me sum it up. The
presence of the Moon and Venus (the most emotional planets, particularly for a
woman) in the 12th house, in Cancer (the sign of emotions) suggests strongly
that your own feelings are not easily accessible to you. But it is not easy to
know about what you cannot feel! So you don't necessarily know what is missing!
They are there, but they are lost in the clouds of the 12th
house. This does not happen for "no reason." There is something here
very important about your mother. Our parents teach us how to think of
ourselves, mostly by example; they teach us how to relate to others. It is
really impossible to underestimate their influence in our lives.
I must speculate here, but I'm going to make an
interpretation for you to consider: your mother was either missing, emotionally
missing, or somehow unable to fully acknowledge your needs. It seems to go
beyond this, with her not being able to acknowledge your existence, and
particularly your existence as a woman. To learn more about this, study her
experiences and personal history closely. This missing something becomes what
you must discover within yourself, through living, through intentional inner
work and therapy, through mentors and role models and with the awareness that
you're looking for something you cannot really describe; feeling for something
that you cannot sense.
Patience, my dear.
Just know, it is not a good job you seek: it is yourself.
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