Guilt -- Virgo Moon and Venus
August 13, 2004
http://cainer.com/ericfrancis/aug13.html
Dear Eric:
I'm full up of whipping myself for this failure and the accompanying guilt. How
do you suggest we "must heal humanity" zealots get out of the loop if
we just freakin' want peace with what we ARE able to manifest here? I know my
self-flagellation / condemnation is hallmark of my Virgo Moon and Venus . . .
so maybe I'm a little harder on myself than others in this regard.
Dorotha
Dear Dorotha,
You could say that spiritual growth is for many people learning to give up this
kind of guilt. And for others, it is acquiring some. We should really start a
guilt bank where those who have enough of the stuff can donate some to those
who have a complete lack.
Guilt has never solved anything. If it has kept certain
people good, it's been very expensive for them otherwise, speaking in terms of
limits placed on their emotions, on receiving love, and on accepting the
abundance that comes to them in life.
Guilt is generally the remnant of an abuse legacy. If you
feel guilt as an adult, it is very likely because somebody trained you to feel
that way when you were a child. There is a connection here between the impulse
toward saving the world as adults and trying to save the family as children.
These are often situations where people "take on" the burdens of
others and carry them as guilt. If we are really going to save the world, which
just means save our communities, we need to do it some way besides guilt.
It takes a lot of practice to get past this, but it can be
done. Ultimately one just decides to love oneself and do one's best and call
that good. And if you're ambitious, hopefully you can learn to be motivated by
creativity rather than fear. These are not big changes; rather they are
extremely small ones. They happen thousands of times a day as we accept who we
are, slowly change our thinking, learn to feel different emotions (such as
contentment) and slowly learn to let the people who love us, love us. They do,
you know.
If you are searching your chart for clues, here is what I
suggest. First look at what is going on in your 4th house, and with the ruler
of your 4th house. Let's say you have Capricorn on the 4th house cusp; I
suggest you study the condition of every planet in that sign and house, as well
as the condition of Saturn, wherever it appears in the chart. No matter what
sign you have on the 4th, Saturn is going to tell you a lot about your sense of
responsibility, how you respond to authority, and what you fear.
Next, check
Next, check Chiron. Chiron will address matters such as the
'sense of injury', as well as hypersensitivities we have, and places we have
struggled to grow more than any other place in the chart. Don't worry about
whether you can interpret the planet's placement; begin by a process of
deduction, making notes on where it is and what it is doing.
Last, check a few additional minor planets, which you can
get online free thanks to Astrodienst at the web page: http://ephemeral.info/eph/
Set up your birthday on the online form, and then type in
Nessus, Pholus and Psyche (you can also check Vesta and Chiron here, and in
fact anything you can name). Nessus, a centaur planet, can spill the beans on
the abuse legacy we carry, both psychological and physical. It reveal the
psychological dynamics of that abuse process, as well as telling us something
about where it entered our reality (conjunct Mars, in the desire nature, for
example; conjunct Saturn, as parental authority, and so on). Don't worry that
you can't necessarily look up or interpret the meaning of the placement right
away; just note its location and what it is doing (and welcome to the world of
research astrology).
Pholus, also a centaur, points to multigenerational issues.
It tells us what we have taken on from our grandparents and great grandparents,
including matters involving addiction and, once again, sacrifice. Important
keywords for Pholus are "three generations." Read that into your
aspects where Pholus makes contact with any planet. Pholus has a way of making
fast or even instantaneous transitions and healing processes whereas Chiron
makes slow ones. It's as if Pholus says: three generations? That's enough! You
figured it out! Now you're free!
Last, Psyche. Psyche is the sense of the psychic wound that
never heals. Often it is a wound to faith. It is where we think we are
permanently damaged. WE ARE NOT! But that is the sense of where and how. Psyche
works a lot like Chiron in that because we think we are damaged some specific
way, and often are, we do a lot of healing work and create a sense of power and
special strength; the injury becomes its opposite. But there is often some kind
of psychological legacy involved, and it can -- among other things -- involve
guilt. The house and sign placement should tell you something about how to go
about healing that guilt, and maybe the several minor planets I mention can
give you a more detailed picture of what is going on for you emotionally or
psychologically that will offer a healing process.
Setting aside astrology, I will leave you with a quote about
guilt from an article I wrote in 2000, called "How To Be Your Own
Lover." This passage was co-written with my former (and awesome) Gestalt
therapist, Joe Trusso:
"Fritz and Laura Perls, early pioneers of Gestalt
Therapy, taught that guilt is resentment turned against itself. Generally
speaking, children, being the powerful yet powerless little critters they are,
take upon themselves the notion of 'fault and blame'. They cannot imagine
adults (who are personifications of the gods and goddesses) making an error. If
they do, it's still the 'fault' of the child. 'If only I would've done this or
that, daddy wouldn't hit me'. 'If I was more quiet, mommy wouldn't drink'. And
so on. Since they are at 'fault', they are 'guilty', and since they cannot rage
against the adults very successfully or have a real impact on the direction of
events, they turn the resentment at being pruned, modified, corrected,
disciplined, strongly directed, or dictated to, back at themselves.
"That is guilt. It's fair to say that our lives, so
often filled with the idea that we cannot influence the direction of events, so
often caught in the web of control, of bosses, of taxes, of children, and yes,
of our sexual relationships, are often holographic copies of these original
crushing relationships with parents and teachers. Yet as adults, the
programming, the patterns, are contained within us. They are internalized.
Check it out: do we have especially creative jobs? Dare we say what we feel, go
where we want, be who we are, or have sex with who we desire? Or are we pruned,
modified, dictated to, and denied out of existence by our own
self-control?"
I ask you.
See you next week.
Love from
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