Pisces

August 20, 2004

 

http://cainer.com/ericfrancis/aug20.html

 

Dear Eric:

"This is a fantastic year for you!" said the astrologer who did my birth chart for me -- crap. (She betrayed me and did a runner.) I'm a Pisces, Libra rising, Moon in Gemini, Saturn in Leo. (D.O.B. 26.02.77. Local time: 22.20. Place: Queen Charlotte and Chelsea hospital, Shepherds Bush London.) Everything I loved crumbled to dust last September, and I am still fighting to rebuild my life. A lot of Fish I know have been through the wringer, too. My questions: 1. When's my career going to blossom? I work really hard at it, because it's what I love and have wanted to do ever since I was seven years old. 2. When will the fighting stop and positive stability begin? (Having a physical home and emotional calm.) I miss my home and ache for it, sorry I am trying not to cry as I type. Emotionally shaky too. 3. Someone's peripheral in my life, there's a magnetic pull that I can't explain and (I've experienced some very strange stuff in my life.) Is this positive/negative for me fleeting or bond? (Astrologer who did a runner said it was positive and a bond but...your input would be ace.

No Ideas

 

 

Dear No Ideas,

The things you seek -- stability, peace of mind, love, productive work -- are qualities and experiences we cultivate over a lifetime. If nobody has reminded you lately, you are still a young woman. You have time. That may not make your life easier now, but if you remember that time is your ally in the process of living, you will live a lot easier. You will take a lot of pressure off of yourself.

 

If you are looking to astrology as something that's going to tell you when things are going to get better, I suggest you give up, because that's essentially what you've done by asking. To ask "when" is entirely passive. To ask "what can I do, what is my part, what teachings to the stars (or astrologers) have to offer," are other questions entirely. And they are, fortunately, questions you can do something about. But that doing something really means taking responsibility and ownership for your experience on the planet.

 

When you take the word of an astrologer who tells you that you're going to have a fantastic year, at the same time you sign off on your responsibility for creating a fantastic year -- whatever that might be!

 

I am looking at your chart, and could make tons of comments. I mean, it's a very intense setup and I can see how you might live every day feeling like life is a battle, like no two forces in your life ever work together with one another, and yes, I can see how you might feel like there's going to be some huge payoff some day and life is just going go to get better. And maybe it will. Maybe it will. But I don't suggest you sit around waiting for that moment. Because it's not going to wait for you.

 

You have, fortunately, the kind of chart that's going to keep punting you until you figure out how to get hold of your life and live each day with a sense of mission and purpose. I suggest you do this even if you have to make your daily purpose removing from your path every obstacle to happiness -- and there are some things in the way that you might not have thought of. And, truly, I feel a bit frustrated that I can't sit with you for an hour and hear some of the stories that go with this astrology; your life would make a bit more sense if we could match up what has actually happened to you with some of the symbolism in your chart.

 

But if I had to offer two suggestions, this is what they would be, and I'm going to leave out my astrological justifications for saying these things, but they are plain to see.

 

The first is it's likely that the people around you growing up had no idea how to act in loving or even civilized ways. They related by contention and by conflict. You were a child, and you absorbed this chaos and pain. So for the third time (and it's now officially a tradition for this column) I'm going to recommend that you read, and read carefully, the book A General Theory of Love. I feel fairly safe saying that the people around whom you grew up were not happy, painfully so. And they did not give you happy ideas about yourself. And worse yet, they had some toxic ways of handling their own misery, which you need to make sure you grow out of, if you want to have a solid, content life.

 

The second suggestion is that you become an expert in the lies that you were told growing up, and the lies that people told one another. These include what are called lies of omission; the things that were left unsaid, or were buried or papered over with addictions. Then dig out the truth. What kind of lies? Well, they could really be about anything, but there is a lot you were told about yourself that was not true, and it didn't stop there. This is not casual business. In fact, it is somewhat dangerous territory because you need to question all the assumptions of your life. That is good, because you don't seem so happy with your life, so you might want to get to work on your foundations.

 

You are an unusually strong and determined person. There is, deep within you, what I will call the Original Woman, the you nobody knows, and she wants to burst out and express herself. You are a talented, creative woman, with a touch of revolutionary to you. Your chart thunders ARTIST but artist is a long and unpaved road, if it is a road at all; really it is a very direct approach to life.

 

What you need to learn how to do, as far as I can tell, is to put your strength to work for you. These days, most of what you fight against is your own power, beauty and passion. Give it up, dear. You have a life to live, and no matter what they told you, you really are free, and that life is really yours.

 

And yes, some very difficult transits have recently ended. Now the dust needs to settle, and you need to keep your faith in yourself and live like it really matters every single day.