Relationship Birthdates

 

September 3, 2004

 

http://cainer.com/ericfrancis/sep3.html

 

Dear Eric:

I remember reading some time back that there is a branch of astrology which works on the premise that friendships or other relationships have a 'birthdate'. I have had a wonderful friendship with a very special person for six years now, though for the past four she has been in a relationship with another man. Over the years I have looked for guidance regarding the future of this friendship from compatibility charts, etc. I was wondering how the astrology of the relationship would differ from those of our respective birthdates or if it could explain events more clearly? I would appreciate it if you could keep personal details private as my friend also reads your column and I would not wish to upset the applecart.

Regards,
(Name Withheld On Request)

 

 

Dear NWOR,

There is a charting method that involves looking at the first meeting, and I've had quite a few successes with it. Successes, as in the first meeting chart, when looked at later, tells something about the conditions of the relationship that should be fairly obvious without the chart, but the chart kind of paints it on your face so you can see it clearly in the mirror. Though you've given me all the natal chart details, I'll be looking only at the first meeting data you provided. I'm going to use the basic rules of horary astrology to investigate your question. So, readers please note: this kind of reading is different than natal astrology.

 

But first I want to respond on the human level as opposed to the stellar. Am I to understand that you've devoted six years of your life to someone in hopes that it will become a deeper relationship, as in a household relationship or sexual partnership? I am inferring this; you say that it's a special friendship and that you've consulted many oracles to see what will develop. At the same time, you're saying she's been with another man for the last four years. This has been going on a long time, given that you're not getting what you want or what you need.

 

It is true that love sometimes takes a while to get going. But not usually. Usually, people meet, they get along, they know they get along, they like some of the same restaurants and things are under way. While I know you have some deep feelings about this woman, six years of not getting what you need is a very long time. This relationship was born in the 20th century. Important planets have changed signs, some of them several times. Two Olympics have come and gone. People have begun law and medical school, graduated and become attorneys and doctors.

 

Relationships happen in the present, not in the future.

 

Hopefully this prejudice does not qualify me from taking fair look at the chart. The first thing I noticed is that you met the day of a Sun-Pluto opposition. That is the closest aspect in the chart. Sun opposite Pluto has a lot of zing to it: deep, penetrating, and obsessive. Pluto is in the first (Sagittarius) and the Sun is in the 7th (Gemini), near the 8th, and that says that the feeling is deep, that the meeting had the impact you describe. Right away I can tell that this chart is what's termed 'radical' or applicable to the situation you describe.

 

The second thing I noticed is that Scorpio is rising; thus is Taurus on the 7th house cusp (descendent). That means you are characterized in the relationship as the ruler of the Ascendant, which would be Mars, and your friend is characterized by the ruler of the 7th, which would be Venus. People may be wondering why I take Mars as the ruler of Scorpio - and the reason is that it IS the original ruler of Scorpio, in the traditional system, which is what I use for these kinds of charts. (You may think this is weird for 'asteroid guy' to be using the ancient rules of astrology, but I like to be true to the old rules and techniques in the first instance, and then true to the new developments next.)

 

Venus and Mars are an appropriate couple of significators for a woman and a man. Next thing we check for is: are they making an aspect? They are not. The simplest way to answer the question is, no aspect, no meeting on the Venus-Mars level, that is, lover energy, if you're wondering about that. There is not even an aspect forming. Venus is late in her sign (Aries), and we lose the thread of story when she changes signs.

 

Just to double check using modern rulers, let's take Pluto as the second ruler of Scorpio and do the chart again. Neither are Pluto and Venus making, or about to make, an aspect.

 

We find you, as Mars in the 7th, as ready for a relationship, in essence, in position for one situated in the house of relationship. But Mars (like the Sun) is opposing Pluto (though not as close, the aspect is still applying, or becoming perfect). That spells obsession. And with the two rulers of the ascendant, Mars and Pluto, facing one another directly, it's as if the obsession has very little to do with her; it is more like being obsessed with an idea, or taking love on the level of religious devotion.

 

When we look at Venus, we get some interesting information. She is in late Aries (a bit self-absorbed, which to some men can be very attractive in a woman), and she is applying in a conjunction to Saturn, just one degree later. I'm going to assume that Saturn is the other guy you mention. Because of the very late degrees of Venus and Saturn, this other relationship appears to have begun right after the two of you met, and it's lasted quite a while. And, her meeting with him appears in the first meeting chart.

 

So what all does this tell you?

 

It takes great maturity to learn that we cannot change people, we have to take them as we are. And at the same time we have to get our own needs met. If you are looking for a love affair, there are a lot of fish in the sea.