Sagittarian and Gemini Split

July 2, 2004

 

http://cainer.com/ericfrancis/july2.html

 

Hi Eric:

I am a Sagittarius and last January the four-year relationship I had with a female Gemini ended. After the "official" split, we continued to frequent each other, on and off, ultimately turning into a vicious cycle of I can't live with or without you. The split was her decision, and every time the cycle terminated (only to begin again) that was her decision also. She has decided that she needs time for herself and is not ready to be in a relationship again. It is evident to me while neither one of us can let the other go, we still deeply love each other. Sometimes it feels as though there is a giant, invisible wall blocking her path to me. I wonder if we will be together again, and if so, when? Deep inside myself, I feel I have a connection with her that is beyond the earthly world. Also, given the Transit of Venus happened in her sign, I wonder if this is any reason to hope for us? Thank you in advance.

Karen

 

 

Dear Karen,

I am sorry to hear you are in such a painful -- if familiar to the world -- situation. Astrology offers some insight here, but I don't want to dwell on it, so let's get it out of the way. Opposing signs (Sun, or where there is a significant opposition between the charts, from other planets) can create situations such as you are describing, if they are lived out unconsciously. The magnetism between opposite signs can be so strong that it works without anyone being able to do anything about it. The thing is that one must do something about it; that is why we have the information astrology offers.

 

These are also big times for both Gemini and Sagittarius, in part owing to the Venus transit (for more information visit: http://planetwaves.net/astrology/venusretrograde.html) and the associated retrograde in Gemini. And because there is so much activity in Sagittarius (for starters, the long transit of Pluto in that sign) everyone and everything Gemini or Sagittarius is on the learning curve to the umpteenth degree. That means both of you. There are obviously big changes unfolding in both of your lives.

 

You wrote your letter before the Venus station on the 29th/30th of June. I am wondering how the situation has developed over the past week or so, now that Venus has stationed to direct motion as of earlier this week.

 

Now, speaking from as an advocate of (and, God willing, participant in) healthy relationships rather than as an astrologer, I suggest you beware of such patterns. What you're describing says to me is that you're both processing much material that has little or nothing to do with the present; you are basically functioning actors in one another's dramas, and those dramas involve an attempt to work out old family material or karma. This does not mean that you don't love one another; but part of that love may be the deeply engrained patterns that were called love in your families of origin. Love is actually a rather peaceful state.

 

There is a book called A General Theory of Love which you can get at Amazon.com (my review is at this link: http://www.ericfrancis.com/planetwaves/love.html ). This very readable, beautifully written book deals with the relationships between family patterns and love affairs. It's a real eye opener, and heart-opener. If you want to share your thoughts about this book in relation to your experience, I'll post some of them here.