Aquarian in love with Scorpio

 

June 17, 2004

 

http://cainer.com/ericfrancis/june17.html

 

Dear Eric:

 

I am an Aquarius in love with a Scorpio that cannot commit to me. I want a full time life partner but I do not think that my Scorpio can ever be that. He is very helpful and kind to me but I need more. Would I be better off finding a person that I can make a life with before I get older and it will be harder for me to find someone? Or should I keep on hoping that things will change with my Scorpio? I am also in financial difficulties at this time and can see no way out.

 

Sena

 

 

Dear Sena,

 

The answer involves whether you want hope, or a relationship. While it is true that people sometimes change, I have always considered it a risky venture to gamble on people changing, and in particular, changing one specific way -- exactly the one you want. I'm not saying it will not happen; it's just that you are the one saying that you don't think your Scorpio will ever be the kind of partner you want. Listen to that!

 

In astrology there is often a link between matters involving money and matters involving commitment in relationship, and I have a hunch that the two matters are connected for you. Here is the common thread. Being involved in a relationship is an investment, debt or involvement with "another person's resources." Being in debt is a similar involvement on a business level, where you owe money to someone and are in a sense hooked into a relationship. So in both cases you have an involvement from which you cannot free yourself. Both involve a struggle over resources.

 

Here's a simple question: What do you feel you owe your partner? Maybe if you can state it, you will figure out a way to settle the debt, or to decide you can never pay it. What do you feel your partner owes you? Same basic idea; if you feel your partner owes you something, you are free to let that go, to forgive the obligation. Think like a banker. Will you get what you feel you are owed? Why do you feel it is owed to you? This is practical business rather than the usual foggy or impassioned affair of the heart.

 

Now, on the positive side of the equation, we could state it this way: the solution set involves claiming your power. All we can really do in this life is make decisions. Usually people suffer not from making bad decisions, but rather from making no decisions at all.