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Weekly Horoscope for Friday, April 9, 2010, #811 - BY ERIC FRANCIS
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The point is not to be different for its own sake, but rather to recognize that you are a distinct entity, and that is the truth of who you are. Acknowledging this can send plenty of people into a tailspin; for you, ignoring the simple fact that you're different, that you have something to say and that you have an agenda for your life, are much likelier to cause you to lose your grip on the road. The confusing part is that you don't necessarily feel like one person all the time; you have so many personas and facets of yourself that you may not be sure which one is true. What is true, initially, is what these facets of self have in common. Beneath the surface level of experience, there is one solid core of existence that you are being invited to tap into right now.
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Aries Birthday Audio by Eric Francis is available. Check this link for more information. |
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You seem to be running to catch up with some part of yourself that you feel is leaving you behind. The image is of a split between an aspect of your mental focus and the movement of 'who you really are'. The split is an illusion; you are experiencing bold contrast between who you were in the past and who you are today. By who you were, I mean your state of mind, your mental outlook on life and your sense of identity in the past. Who did you think you were, and when did you decide you were someone different? If you pay attention over the next few weeks, you will be taken through a kind of museum of past self-concepts. Note that this has little to do with who you are today, except for the fact that each of those in turn led to where you are now.
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Your imagination may be running away from you, which is fine if you're thinking beautiful thoughts or solving problems. It's a little more difficult if you have anxiety irritating your mind, or if you're feeling obsessive in any way. Yet any fear or mental duress you now experience are being offered to you as examples for discovering the nature of those feelings. Here is a synopsis: Gemini has a reputation for being this fleeting, quick-changing kind of archetype. Beneath that layer is a slow-vibrating, high-density layer that can be extremely stubborn. Stubborn can be useful, but it can also translate to stuck. The thing we tend to get stuck on are ideas about how life is supposed to be; you have a few of those that you don't need, and a few old but good ones that you would benefit from remembering.
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Some people are more cooperative than others. Some people you know are more open to the fact that you're a trailblazer than others. Some are uncooperative because you seem to them like the person who is having all the fun, or who has nothing holding you back. None of this matters. What does matter is that there are people around you who indeed support you; who offer their friendship in deep and substantial ways; who are looking out for your interests. What matters is that you focus on expressing what is truly individualistic and unique about you, and making sure you never forget what that is. Life is not a popularity contest. If it is any kind of a contest, it's about who can facilitate the most authentic cooperation, which includes supporting authentic cooperation.
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The world has exceedingly few relationship models where both parties profit from a shared arrangement, and many examples of where one party steals from or takes advantage of the other (or a third party, such as kids in the Philippines). For the past few years, you've been getting a complex tour of how relationships work and how they do not work; of what factors constitute fairness; of how to make decisions that benefit more than just one party. You're way ahead of the game here; most people have no idea of what, to you, is a common sense concept. This means you'll be doing some educating of the people around you, particularly new people that you meet. To them it may seem like you're proposing that they can walk on water. Explain that it's more like breathing air -- which for most is enough of a challenge to keep them busy.
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One of the things you wrestle with is having fixed concepts where you need flexible ones. Part of why this is true is because you have extremely flexible concepts where you need some more tangible ones. I cannot tell you what should be what, but I can suggest looking at where you hold firm principles and questioning whether you can use some additional flex, and looking at where you have moving boundaries or work-in-progress theories and asking if you need to get clear with yourself. The potentially confusing bit is that all these concepts fit into the 'who am I really?' line of thought, and you may not have distinguished the different shades of that concept. Your charts suggest at least this much: you are carrying around some outdated beliefs; those beliefs are based on outdated values; and those values actually belong to someone else.
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For the next couple of months, some of the pressure you've been feeling lightens up: pressure to deal with the past; to address the problems given to you by your parents; to live up to your potential. What you've just been through amounts to a practice round of self-actualization. What you experience between now and early June appears to be a reflection process about what you do with impulses to change, no matter what their source. You might start to make distinctions: does change mean grow, or alter your life course, or react, or respond? When is the influence internal, when is it external, and when do the two match up? Pay attention to this last one. You're going to need your own ideas about how and why you want to grow, to match with a lot of information and influence coming from what seem to be external sources.
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You are making progress in a relationship, though you need to give someone close to you several more opportunities to see things from another point of view. Basically, so far as I can tell, they are involved in an elimination process, deciding what is true on the basis of what they determine is not true. This involves trying on some of the possibilities, and that involves being indecisive. However, you may find that they are committed to different possibilities at different times in ways that seem pretty conclusive. I suggest you assess the situation and see what agreements you require in the long run; size up whether you're being confronted with things that prove themselves to be deal-breakers. Also, I suggest you set a limit: for example, if someone hasn't figured their stuff out by the next equinox, that's too long for you. Be specific with yourself.
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Paul Simon said that food is the bottom line for everyone. This appears to be true for you now. If you live in the United States or the UK, you can be sure that you live in a culture with a lot of food issues, such as: is the food actually food? Is it nourishing? Is it contaminated? What's in there and why? I recommend taking a couple of weeks of focusing on noticing your dietary habits; your eating habits; on reading the ingredients on every package; and in closely studying what your mother taught you about food. Take up the issue of 'comfort food' and see if you can discern why you need it, and it's actual effect on your mood. See if you can find food substituting for other things in your life. I know this is a lot to consider, but that alone makes an interesting meditation. Food is indeed the bottom line.
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Is there any way to live in a balanced way in our society? Closer to home, is there any way to live a balanced life when you're under as much pressure to grow as you are now? Here is what I suggest, for the time being: investigate who and what throws you off-balance. Be honest about this. The person may not be present -- it may just be their ideas that skew your reality. Your charts have shifted significantly from where they were even last week, and some new factors have entered the picture. The simplest way to say this is that vital influences that were acting behind the scenes are now much more obvious and accessible. Your 'subconscious' is suddenly available; emotional dimensions that generally lurk out of reach are right where you can notice and do something about them.
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Several influences are summoning you to be more flexible than you're accustomed to. You are accustomed to the kind of flexibility where you can consider any idea, as an abstraction. Think of this as a symbol. What would it mean to make the symbol into an actuality? In other words, what does the symbol stand for, and what do you feel compelled to do as a result of that actuality? Consider that in the process of determining who you are, noticing that you are the thoughts that you think is a vital step along the way to freedom. You need precision here, which is the precision of honesty. Tell yourself the truth about everything you tend to question or consider in an abstract way. I know we live in a time when 'there is no truth' but there is absolutely, certainly your personal truth -- and you need to know it.
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You're about to make some radical decisions about money, which have everything to do with your sense of self-worth. At this particular phase of your life, you have a better sense of who you are than you've ever had before. You've met the preliminary requirement for the next step, which is to focus that knowledge into a value that obviates everything that, by logic, must no longer be true. I suggest you use a scientific method more than a philosophical one. If something is true for you today, then it is so on the basis that it invalidates what was true yesterday. The thought of the hour is that you have no room for conflicting belief systems, and indeed exceedingly little room for belief systems at all. What you need is knowledge, and at the moment, much of that knowledge involves being extremely clear about how much your ideas, your time and your labor are worth. |
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