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Weekly Horoscope for Friday, March 26, 2010, #809 - BY ERIC FRANCIS
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In the film Waking Life, the lead character finds himself in a lucid dream, from which he keeps waking up, into another dream. Each awakening arrives with a transformation, and with a new level of awareness, but he still cannot seem to actually come to full consciousness. Along the way he encounters many interesting people and continuously seeks out new knowledge, but a mystery persists, which is the mystery of what it means to be awake. There are some psychological theories consistent with his experience, defining consciousness itself as a trance. In these days of your life, I would propose that the measure of how awake you are is indicated by what you create. True enough, not everyone is the 'creative type' and we're generally motivated to consume energy rather than to offer ourselves to the world in a sincere and daring way: which underscores my point.
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Aries Birthday Audio by Eric Francis is available. Check this link for more information. |
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Your mission seems to be assembling the scattered parts of yourself. That might look like guiding your life toward one goal, which will help, though that's more of an external way to consider the issue. Viewed from an interior perspective, the question involves fear, in particular, the fear of not knowing who you are. I know this one is going around. I know people are developing strange coping mechanisms to deal with the uncertainty of self, though you might want to be on the lookout for two of the more common ones. The first is over-identifying with what you attach yourself to: that is, clinging. The second is by living in fantasy, or trying to. I suggest moving precisely the opposite direction: less emphasis on who or what you're attached to, and more emphasis on seeing possibilities in yourself and experimenting with them for the sake of gaining actual experience.
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You may be astounded at the lack of compassion that some people display, though I suggest you not reply in kind. It's difficult enough to see and admit the truth of what human nature is capable of, though at the same time you need to figure out how to make your world warmer rather than colder. Warmer may include telling the truth as you perceive it, though be sure you direct your words carefully and don't draw blood if you can avoid it. It will be adequate if you perceive certain individuals for who and what they are; that may even provide some incentive for them to evolve a bit. Remember, that you're on a mission that involves being true to yourself and your own cause rather than correcting the ways of anyone else. Though it may seem to take forever, the best way to teach really is by example.
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You're doing everything you can to let go of past emotional patterns, though some of them seem determined to hold onto you. Or: are you just seeing and experiencing those patterns for what they are? This is a little like doing a cleanse. You start the process and all this stuff comes up on the way out. You get to experience the gunk at full-strength before you let it go. Meanwhile something else is happening, which is that you're discovering how much turns on the thoughts you think, particularly about the goals that you have and that you act on. This level where concepts, ideas and objectives exist is where to focus your awareness during the next few days. You seem to be in the process of making a commitment to yourself about the direction of your life. This is the real thing: be honest with yourself and let the momentum of truth carry you forward.
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Your long-term vision may have nothing to do with what you're doing now; that is one potential. Or it may be a radical evolution of what you're doing now, so totally transformed that you might never have expected that one would have emerged from the other. This is nothing other than how ideas evolve; they are living things, and they go through a series of meta-morphs into each new form. Or is it you who is changing? That is a more accurate description; your ideas, in particular, your ideas about your life, are like an effigy that you model yourself after. I suggest you experiment with some highly specific ideas about what you want to happen -- the kind you think are too specific to apply to a future that has yet to manifest. Create a vision and describe it down to the subtle details, such as the weather and the pictures on the wall.
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Peel back the layers of yourself, and reveal your truth to someone close to you. You seem to be doing this on the emotional level, experimenting with feeling all kinds of unusual or intense things in the presence of others. Now you can move to the mental level and put words to your feelings. At first you may feel extra vulnerable doing this, until you figure out that you can spring off of someone's energy, or use it as a psychic magnet, to draw out parts of yourself that you never imagined existed. This is an actual transformative process, though in the form of play. Your ideal play partner may or may not be your significant other; there may be more than one. I suggest you experiment with someone same sex, and opposite sex. You are exploring both sides of your brain.
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Your relationships have been full of surprises lately, but would you have them any other way? True, you have a stable side that loves when life is steady and predictable. Then there's the rest of your psyche, which thrives on uncertainty. There are some things you're hearing and experiencing which come across as pleasant and daring, and others which seem harsh and strange -- at first. All you need to remember is that another person's perception of you says more about them than it does about you. The interesting part is that you will learn something about your hidden nature. Some event a few days ago tipped you off that there was something to notice, and now the words to describe it are starting to formulate.
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You need to find the one mistake you keep making. It's the same one you forget that you keep making, so it may tend to slip away. When you rediscover what it is, I suggest you write it on the wall. Or better yet, immediately go through all your current plans, appointments, clients, lovers, dates and potential lovers and dates, and look for anyplace you see the least chance you might do it again. If you stop now and conduct a thorough investigation, you'll actually be able to avoid the next iteration of this particular mistake, and potentially break the cycle entirely. The issue is one of awareness, but it's also about making sure you know what your goals are and then making sure that every decision you make is in support of those goals. You've spent months reviewing your highest aspirations and making commitments to yourself; this is about honoring those promises.
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Remember, don't be a rebel for its own sake. Your values are more evolved than this, and you need to be cautious of the element of pride. Rebellion is a tool, and at times a weapon, that I suggest you use judiciously. Pride is dangerous when it's not mixed with a good helping of awareness. If you find yourself getting caught up in the chaos of another person's life, check in and see if you weren't using one of these two factors to excess. It would help if you remember that there are some things about society that make no sense, and that you cannot do anything about, except ignore them and live your life your way. As you may soon discover, doing your thing because it's what you want usually has far more influence on your environment than does trying to change the external world.
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People do things for their own reasons. If you listen to them you may not get the idea that they're good reasons, or that the person is being honest about their motives; but that's a basic part of encountering the thought process of others. I suggest resisting the temptation to see anyone, including yourself, as a victim of circumstance, or a victim of the influences of another person. Nobody is under anyone's thrall; credit yourself and others with the intelligence to make their own decisions. It's true that those around you seem particularly mysterious right now. Hold the space for that mystery and invest your energy dipping into your own inner core; you'll find plenty there to nourish your soul, and remind yourself that you do quite well independent of the desires and motives of others.
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If you're becoming aware of the darker angels in your nature, you don't need to worry that this is who you actually are. Awareness is the key to being free of them, rather than enslaved by them. All darkness operates through luring us into unconsciousness, and light is the light of awareness. One of the seeming paradoxes of becoming aware is acknowledging all this stuff we don't like, or don't want to look at, or don't believe is true. Note that much of it is the result of damage done to us in the past, rather than who we inherently are. Fortunately, patterns created by past events are no match for the underlying strength and truth of your being. If the thing that stands between you and the pain of this material is awareness, it's not awareness of the passive kind, but more accurately a quality of maneuvering your mind with skill and precision, particularly when you find yourself in the dark.
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You've been locked into a particular emotional pattern for a long time, and you're starting to become aware of this fact. You will be even more aware of it when you suddenly discover yourself free of this pattern one day and you wonder how it is that it had such a grip on you. The reason is that you believed in it; or perhaps that you still do. I suggest you invest some energy looking into the power of belief, which is one of the elements that creates the shape and tenor of the reality we see. While it seems difficult to change our beliefs, it's even more difficult for us to have an experience that violates our beliefs; in practice it's easier to change the belief first and have the new experience second. In case you're wondering whether you're capable of this, or whether certain things are possible in the world, I assure you that you have all the evidence you need. |
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