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You may be seeking wider horizons in a relationship, or feeling the approach of spring. A little vibration is good for most partnerships, which tend to get set in their ways. Yet I suggest you note what is really changing: as far as I can tell, it's your perception of yourself as a partner. You can no longer play the 'role' that was for so long, so easy for you. This may involve the discovery that a role ignores the fact that you are a work in progress. You can be a certain way as long as you think you know who you are, but once you admit that you're on a quest, then begins the adventure. I would offer a clue, which is that you're closer in your experience to a close partner than you think -- but you won't know unless you speak up.
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I suggest you consider what factor in your environment is compelling you to adjust. There are several to which you seem to be responding, and notably you're seeing the many ways these changes will benefit you. Yet it would be helpful if you understood your motives. It appears that you're experimenting with the potential that it's easier, more fun and more productive to go with the flow than it is to resist. This is a meaningful step, though something is influencing you to try on this way of life. Certain other possibilities seem to have reached their limits, though when it comes to a professional matter whose time has finally arrived, you will need to make sure you take an extra step to actively envision what you want rather than taking a ride on pre-existing circumstances.
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You seem to be in one of those environments where everything is in harmony -- except for one thing. You have a decision to make, with the primary choices being: decide the factor is the one thing you can't tolerate; or decide that no matter what this one other person or factor may say or do, you're determined to create this situation as you want it to be. Here's a clue I can offer: Whoever or whatever is resisting is probably not directing this personally at you. He or she has other problems, and you're getting some of the overflow. If you assume it's personal, you'll take it personally and handle things one way; if you assume that people have their issues and are entitled to them, you will handle things rather differently. It's up to you.
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While key elements of your life are suddenly coming together, you may think that this is not the time to push your luck or take advantage of the situation. I would say to the contrary: now is the moment to give everything a stretch -- your sense of what is possible, your vision for the future, your commitments, and moreover, your deepest desires. You're still on your way to finding out what those are, and the most significant thing you can do right now is to give yourself permission to have a better life -- no matter what may be happening in the world around you. You may be wondering how or why so much is changing all at once, and if so I would suggest the answer is simple: you are finally starting to pay attention to something that's been trying to get your attention for a long time.
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One of your greatest assets is your independence. You seem to be getting the hang of one of the most valuable tools on Earth: relationships based on "you figure you out, I'll figure me out." Of course, everyone can compare notes at the end of the day, but till then it's easier if everyone stays out of one another's way. Here is the thing: behind the scenes, you're having a far greater effect on the people around you than you imagine. You're the one originating the example for how to live your life your way. I know there is that old joke about herding cats, but you seem to be causing a stampede of independent-thinking and autonomous decisions. The truth is, what's good for everyone is indeed good for everyone, so keep reminding the world of that cosmic miracle.
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For a long time you've been obsessed, though with little clue about what. That must be really annoying. It remains to be seen whether you'll be any happier once you know what mysterious thing has held your attention by the scruff of the neck. You might say that you're finally getting a clear perception of someone or something that's been veiled in a blind spot. The thing about blind spots is that you cannot see into them until your perspective changes. That means noticing that what you've actually been responding to is your own fear. Fear of what? Of being known and visible -- which translates to the fear of existing in a tangible and undeniable way. Don't worry, it's not just you -- this is an epidemic. You happen to be in the fortunate position of resolving the issue constructively.
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Sex can be complicated, but all dogs need jobs. The job I suggest you give sex is the overall improvement of your wellbeing. Truth is, erotic experience can be thought of in many ways as money, food or thought itself. It's 100% open to interpretation and choice. Clearly, you're being driven by your erotic impulses at the moment, and they may seem daunting in several ways: one for being so impersonal. Another for how many people or scenarios they may involve. Yet you are a person, so by definition whatever you feel or need is personal. Ultimately, what you seek is contact, and what you need is contact, and what will improve your life is: connecting in a way that, by your own choice, you focus on emotional grounding and nourishing communication -- as kinky as you want.
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Being misunderstood offers you a form of power: you know the truth, and they don't. Therefore, you maintain control. Yet is this really the way of life that you seek, or want to create? And doesn't it play directly into the perception that you don't do anything without an agenda? Doesn't this validate the perception that causes you so much struggle? Currently, your life is mediated by what you give, not what you need. That is to say: you're being invited to set aside your many intricate and at times insatiable emotional needs and offer some love and comfort to those around you. Once you start doing this, you'll get a look at the extent to which you've done the opposite for a long time. Among the things that actually influence you, awareness of this will become one.
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This is the time to sweep together all the plans, thoughts and ideas you've scattered around, and see what they add up to. In sum, they add up to a new expression of yourself, or rather, the expression of a nascent sense of yourself that is becoming strong enough to take on a life of its own. Or rather, your own. Your life is not separate from you. While you don't cause the world, you do indeed cause your version of the world, and are ready to discover that you keep creating it every time you breathe, speak or take a step. As a child, you had exceedingly little power over your environment. As an adult, you have somewhere between 49% and 99% influence over your environment. How far do you want to go?
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There's no such thing as 'once and for all', but what you learn about money over the next few days will be applicable to every financial situation you face for the rest of your life. The cosmos seems determined to inform you just how resourceful you are. When money became the only medium of exchange, we were ripped off of something inherent about who we are, what we have and the work that we do. The true value of things is hidden by their price, not revealed. By value, I mean the actual worth to you and to the world. One clue to bear in mind is that the value of whatever you do is established only by the extent to which you and others benefit simultaneously. It's not a matter of you versus anyone; your wealth, influence and prosperity are a community venture.
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It would be difficult to overstate what a visionary moment this is for you, but I'm going to understate my interpretation so you're more likely to take it on board. We know how long it takes for a human to awaken to his or her vitality, present consciousness or simple truth. Astrologers, therapists, spiritual teachers and hospice workers see people waking up in late years or last moments of their lives, grateful for having done so. You're getting to wake up long before 'the end', but the shift you're moving through is indeed an ending. I suggest you not be so eager for a new beginning. Nature really does abhor a vacuum, so you don't have to be concerned: for now I suggest you let the past drain out of your system, and focus on holding yourself open in ways you actually believed were impossible.
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You've done such a good job at hiding your dreams from yourself. Yet why would you do that? Perhaps out of the fear of all kinds of vulnerability. If you act on your dreams, you become subject to resistance, resentment, judgment -- and success. This is double edged: first you would have to face the negativity of the undead. Next, you would have to take responsibility for what happens to you. Somehow these supposed threats have lost their influence over you, or they will the moment you reach past them. Notice that the power other people seemed to have was only given to them by you. Yet there is nothing to take back. You have what you need, which is the power to make choices based on what you want: which translates to the power to be who you are. |
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