By Donna Boyle
I’d been following Eric’s horoscopes and Daily Oracle posts on the Planet Waves website for quite some time, and his messages have always had an impact. His yearly astrology readings told me things about myself even before I was experiencing them in my own life. I was thrilled when he posted the Capricorn reading for December of 2014. Not only did he predict that it was going to be a “great month,” but it was also going to be one of the “top ten months” of my life! What actually transpired during that month led me to examine his prediction in an unexpected way.
My December journey started before Thanksgiving when I began noticing symptoms of a urinary tract infection. I had never missed a day of work and I was beginning to recognize fear coming up about disappointing people. Not only would calling in sick feel like I was letting my manager down, I feared having to make the call to her.
Lesson number one: I must face the fear at this point in my journey. This one seemed a simple lesson.
Not being one for traditional doctors, I took my own steps to clear the infection. After the second week I was better, but not completely healed, so I began to contemplate going to the local urgent care center. I noticed more fear about a having to visit a doctor, based on an earlier encounter I had. That was many years ago and not only did that previous doctor blame me for my illness, but I left the office internalizing her judgment.
Lesson number two: There were obstacles in my path from past experiences that made a simple visit to the doctor seem difficult. I was happy they were coming up so I could move through them.
At this juncture of my life, I only needed to recognize all of these as fears. What was changing was my perception of this fear. Being sick enough to go to the doctor was the only way I could process all the emotions that came up around it. The doctor this time was wonderful. She respected my healthy lifestyle and assured me I had done nothing wrong. My boss was great too, and I didn’t have to call in sick after all. My fears weren’t silly; they were real, but they were no longer obstacles.
December arrived and I was excited about a visit with my daughter in New York City. I still wasn’t completely healed, but it was going to have to do.
Lesson number three: I was able to move through some fear that the minimal physical symptoms could get worse and keep me at home. Off to The Big Apple!
Out for dinner one night, I was sliding out of the bench and I fell. The side of my ribcage scraped the adjacent bench. I thought I’d broken a rib. The amount of physical discomfort at this point was getting humorous. I found myself practicing lesson number three. I recognized the fear immediately and told myself, “Everything’s fine.” I let my daughter and her roommate take care of me and they were compassionate about my limitations. Previously, I had not felt worthy or comfortable asking for help, let alone receiving help.
Lesson number four: it’s okay to speak up for what you need!
December wasn’t shaping up very well physically so far; but emotionally, I was learning a lot. I was learning to love whatever happened and process the emotions around it all in a healthy way. Every fear I acknowledged and walked through brought me to a happier place of non-fear.
Arriving home, my cat Angel ran to meet me at the front door. This time it seemed like he had been anxiously anticipating my homecoming. His energy ‘felt’ different. He spent part of the next day in the family room as usual but then he went to hang out in the basement, which wasn’t like him at all. My intuition was telling me something wasn’t right.
During the night I experienced physical symptoms, but I didn’t feel sick. I wondered if this was connected to how Angel was feeling at that time. My body felt like it was draining and I was unable to move; I was literally stuck to the bed. One of my spirit guides appeared to me and said, “We are going to take him now.” There was nothing more I could do but accept that he could be leaving the physical world. I broke down and cried.
Angel died that night. This message was a little more challenging for me to comprehend. In our 12 years together, Angel was always there when I came home and his actions helped me to feel unconditional love. There were never conditions placed on his affection for me. This was very new to me. Was the reason for him being in my life to learn this lesson, and now it was done?
I could connect to those in the non-physical world in my work as a medium, but I wanted my cat by my side again. I wanted to feel his furry little body again. The more I wanted him to be with me in the physical world, the more I couldn’t see him in non-physical.
This was lesson number five: Loss, grief, and the longing to keep a loved one here with us could alter the ability to see him in the world of spirit.
Angel’s death seemed greater than any other loss I’d experienced…so far. I was beginning to understand and feel more about grief as I moved through the days after his death. From then on, I enjoyed his presence in my life just as if he were physically here beside me. And my ‘seeing’? Well, let’s just say Angel and my spirit guide are keeping each other company.
The day after he passed, I came down with the flu. It hit hard. For that first week I didn’t think about anything; I couldn’t. My plans to go with my family to Ohio for Christmas were ditched. I substituted daily Skype sessions with my very good friend, Diane. The two of us could really be blunt with each other about what we weren’t seeing in ourselves. Each conversation started with the sarcastic statement, “What are you loving today?”
Halfway into this month and already there were so many physical and emotional challenges. It certainly didn’t seem like it was going to be one of the top ten months of my life. Could things get any worse? I was hoping for better! It was only Dec. 12, so either could be possible.
Diane and I weren’t crazy about Christmas and now I was sick in bed AND alone. We made a pact to check in with each other every day through the next couple of weeks. The last time I heard from her was on Christmas Eve. Christmas came and went and she never answered my calls or texts. My birthday is the day after Christmas and she was my nearest loved one. I was beginning to get angry with her.
Lesson number six: I reacted with anger because of my expectations. I didn’t love what was arising in me, but I accepted it and still loved myself.
Two days after Christmas I received a text from a mutual friend: “Diane is in the hospital and they think she isn’t going to make it.”
What? I rushed to the hospital and was able to see her just before she was taken off life support. All I could see was her spirit as it lifted out of the body. She had waited for me, but then she was gone. The grief was tremendous for all of us, but not for me at first. I wanted to be present for the others who grieved that night at the hospital.
Had I gone to Ohio with my family, I never would have been there to see her leave this physical world. Is that why I got sick? I like to think there are reasons for illness and even death; however, the lesson around loss may be about my response to it, not about the loss itself.
It was now the end of December. Wow, what a ride. From what I learned from my experience with Angel, I could now connect the same feeling to my friend Diane. Back to lesson five: If I held onto the grief — the sadness — I could not see her in non-physical form. And she was there all right; she was there and speaking to me. I didn’t expect anything less from her. She was a very insightful and intuitive person. I was able to see that her soul was content and share that with others.
Looking back on December 2014, was it a great month? If you look below the surface at the lessons learned, the connection to spirit, and how I can now teach from these lessons, then it was a big month — possibly one of the top ten months of my life. I never once said, during the month, “This is certainly not one of the top ten months of my life.” It seems Eric was right once again.
In the past, I’ve reacted to circumstances that were out of my control. During December 2014 I caught myself reacting, chose to respond, and then I went deeper into the feelings that were arising. That month also taught me that when anger or fear colors my response, those emotions are blocking my development. My goal was to allow my own evolution to continue and not hold it back.
I’ve told my story in many classes, during many readings, and to many people. My teaching is that it’s all about perspective. All of what happens to you, or any feeling that you have, whether you perceive it as good or bad, right or wrong, is a lesson. The question I have for you is, “Are you open to receiving the message? Or are you stuck in guilt, shame, grief, anger or sadness.” (Insert any emotion here).
Love was in every message for me that month, but I had to go inside myself to find it. I learned to love the illness, love the grief, and most importantly, love the end result, no matter what it looked like. Loving the easy parts of life is, well…easy! Loving all that arises in every situation is definitely more complicated. However, love is always there. Love is the message, always.
Donna is a medium, channel, author and teacher who helps others align with their true Self on Skype, in person, and at the Vibrant Health Institute in Michigan. Her passion is to support the current shift of soul consciousness. You can call her a cobbler; she mends souls. Donna can be reached through her website and by emailing DBoyleMedium@gmail.com.