{"id":77704,"date":"2014-07-01T13:49:36","date_gmt":"2014-07-01T17:49:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/?p=77704"},"modified":"2014-07-01T13:56:58","modified_gmt":"2014-07-01T17:56:58","slug":"under-new-management","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/fe-911-2\/under-new-management\/","title":{"rendered":"Under New Management"},"content":{"rendered":"

In response to yesterday’s Supreme Court ruling, Burwell v. Hobby Lobby<\/a> I thought it might be fitting to publish this piece. Written 2012, “Under New Management” was inspired by Virginia’s transvaginal probe laws and Citizens United. It’s part of a larger work-in-progress called “Birthright” by our company The Medea Project — Theater for Incarcerated Women<\/a> in collaboration with Planned Parenthood-Shasta Pacific. As times change, the writing on the wall gets clearer. — fb<\/em><\/p>\n

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Good afternoon, and welcome to the eighth annual shareholders meeting of the IUC, an entirely women-owned global corporation based solely on the needs and interests of Vagina-Americans everywhere. So much has happened since our decision to incorporate eight years ago. We decided then that no one but ourselves would determine the destiny of our wombs. No congressmen, no Catholic bishops, and now look at what we’ve accomplished.<\/p>\n

With windfalls from our corporate tax breaks, we have cornered the market on feminine hygiene from womb to tomb. From Tidy Wipes to tampons, diapers to douches and Depends. And, all our products are sustainably produced, chemical-free and environmentally sound.<\/p>\n

We have controlling interests over all contraceptive drugs and devices, ensuring that they are affordable for all women, have no harmful side effects and are not tested on unsuspecting international markets or on poor women here in America.<\/p>\n

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Finally, our highly successful partnership with the Hopi and Navajo nations — providing free health care respecting native traditions, K-12 education and job training — has yielded these nations such astounding prosperity that now the Hopi and Navajo have graciously opened up a portion of tribal lands to act as temporary sanctuary for the hundreds of thousands of liberals seeking political asylum from the Arizona Republic’s oppressive regime, now that Arizona has seceded from the union.<\/p>\n

All of this could not have happened without you, our shareholders, and of course our magnificent partner Planned Parenthood. Like our colleagues Monsanto, General Electric and BP, by becoming a hundred-billion-dollar corporation, the IUC, also known as “In Your Coochie,” has finally become an entity Washington DC fears, and respects.<\/p>\n

Our CFO, Geneva May Towers<\/a> once said, “I marvel at what we do during times of transition. How we resist and how we surrender. How we stay stuck. And how we grow.” Well, the IUC has grown. Yet the War on Women does not stop. And neither will we. <\/p>\n

We will NEVER surrender. It’s on.<\/p>\n

(c) 2012 Published by permission of the author and The Medea Project — Theater for Incarcerated Women.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In response to yesterday’s Supreme Court ruling, Burwell v. Hobby Lobby I thought it might be fitting to publish this piece. Written 2012, “Under New Management” was inspired by Virginia’s transvaginal probe laws and Citizens United. It’s part of a larger work-in-progress called “Birthright” by our company The Medea Project — Theater for Incarcerated Women … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"generate_page_header":""},"categories":[1740],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77704"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=77704"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77704\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=77704"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=77704"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=77704"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}