{"id":74244,"date":"2014-02-15T14:00:06","date_gmt":"2014-02-15T19:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/?p=74244"},"modified":"2014-02-21T11:09:31","modified_gmt":"2014-02-21T16:09:31","slug":"overkill-in-the-battle-of-love-and-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/polyamory\/overkill-in-the-battle-of-love-and-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"Overkill In the Battle of Love and Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Maria Padhila<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

You know that point when you\u2019re arguing with someone and it starts escalating? And both sides start digging in their heels and pulling in more and more supporting examples, and expanding the argument, and making more points and counterpoints until you\u2019re shouting \u201cThis all goes back to your being a carbon-based life form!\u201d and your partner is shouting \u201cWe\u2019re not going to settle this unless we blow up the universe and start over!\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Poly Paradise at Burning Man. Photo by Eric.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Typical. Some people think you can solve anything with another big bang.<\/p>\n

I think this is the point we\u2019re reaching with the sex and relationship wars. We\u2019ve escalated into overkill. At the same time as we\u2019re seeing increased civil rights and changes in policy and legislature, and increased acceptance everywhere around us, welcoming different identities and relationship forms, we\u2019re seeing an opposite reaction that\u2019s so over-the-top it verges on parody.<\/p>\n

Check out this case in point. But don\u2019t be sipping your tea while you watch it. It\u2019s a spit-take waiting to happen. Brigham Young University in Idaho released a helpful video<\/a> cautioning against porn and masturbation that uses images and language comparing touching your dick to being shot at in the trenches on the front line. Or, as one commenter put it, to being in \u201cthe Battle of the Bulge.\u201d<\/p>\n

The jokes have abounded about this one. Even Jay Leno talked about it on The Tonight Show, re-titling the video \u201cSaving Ryan\u2019s Privates.\u201d But The Daily Beast<\/a> won the headline award. Here\u2019s their take:<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Self-Love is a Battlefield<\/strong><\/p>\n

The temptations of the Great War are many. The battles are real, and the strategies are clever. The enemy is cruel, ruthless, and relentless. We must not underestimate the danger. We must be vigilant\u2026 and valiant.\u201d<\/p>\n

Confused? So are undergraduates at Brigham Young University\u2019s satellite campus in Idaho. A motivational video released by the school\u2019s Housing and Student Living office urges students to report friends, roommates, or themselves if they suspect that they are masturbating too much. Hoping to combat the \u201csocial stigma against those who speak up in the face of evil,\u201d the video urges BYU students to not leave the wounded on the masturbatory battlefield.<\/p>\n

The video\u2019s protagonist, a \u201clonely, confused young man\u201d whose roommates ignore his onanistic impulses until he becomes addicted to pornography and quits attending church, is shown injured on a World War I-style battlefield. His friends, after hesitating for fear of being a \u201ctattle-tale,\u201d rescue him in the midst of heavy crossfire and celebrate his return with a round of (non-pocket) pool. The reformed porn addict shares a knowing look with his roommate, who is always there to lend a helping hand.<\/p>\n

We need a tissue.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Others have said they find the video a trifle homoerotic, and as someone who prefers gay porn for its generally great-looking guys, I have to say I agree a little bit, and give a big thumbs up! <\/p>\n

Most reactions centered on the disbelief that people can still \u201cthink this way\u201d in our enlightened times. After all, didn\u2019t we see, just in the past few weeks, all kinds of advances in LGBT civil rights, including a mass marriage on prime time television? An NFL draftee who came out as gay? Facebook changing to allow gender identity variations? LGBT leaders, entertainers and bestselling authors giving speeches in the nation\u2019s capital? And a lot of people are pretty much yawning at it all, or saying sure, or applauding. <\/p>\n

Just the other day on a poly forum, people were discussing whether being poly could affect your security clearance (an everyday deal in the Delaware-Maryland-Virginia area), and the answers were that no, it had never been an issue, as long as you were out, because the sticking point has always been whether you can be blackmailed, and others said being poly hadn\u2019t had career repercussions. How\u2019s that for a big \u201cyou\u2019re poly, so what.\u201d I love it.<\/p>\n

But we\u2019ve also seen attempts to limit not just abortion rights, but birth control rights, and such attempts are serious and ongoing. We\u2019re watching a televised sports spectacle occurring in a country where it\u2019s illegal to be gay. We\u2019ve seen reports of gay people imprisoned, starved and whipped in countries under religious law<\/a>. The thought of those men sneaking into the Nigeria prisons to bring food and news makes me want to weep. <\/p>\n

It\u2019s on, all right. And it\u2019s deadly serious. But one way you can tell that this one is winnable — even in those places under disgusting and horrifying religious law — is that those who are oppressive are so over-the-top. You don\u2019t get that heated and crazy unless you know you\u2019re losing. And if they use that kind of energy in the skirmish, the opponent just has to stay cool and let them burn themselves out. Just keep making the points and hold the line in the human rights laws, just keep jabbing at the lies and pretensions, just stay strong and honest. Just keep laughing. <\/p>\n

That\u2019s not going to turn the situation in Nigeria around. But the saner we are, the crazier they look, and the harder it gets for them to justify their position. The wing nuttiness is getting intensively crazier and more destructive as it burns out, but it\u2019s dominating a smaller and smaller space. What did they say against marriage equality? That it would mean \u201cthe death of the family.\u201d Overkill again. Who says things like that? Who imagines that that\u2019s rational or effective as an argument? Eventually, it\u2019s being proven wrong and absurd.<\/p>\n

The Mormon video is a lighter example, and really, in some ways, I\u2019m inclined to say let everyone have their propaganda. Because progressives will always make better movies, ones that will make everyone change their minds all over again. We\u2019ll always be better artists. We\u2019ve won that battle right out of the gate. <\/p>\n

Have you tried the Planet Waves premium membership? Sign up for a six-month membership<\/a> and receive weekly and monthly horoscopes by Eric Francis, plus more. Eric’s horoscopes offer perspectives on your relationships, family dynamics, career and creativity like no other horoscopes online.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Maria Padhila You know that point when you\u2019re arguing with someone and it starts escalating? And both sides start digging in their heels and pulling in more and more supporting examples, and expanding the argument, and making more points and counterpoints until you\u2019re shouting \u201cThis all goes back to your being a carbon-based life … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7221,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"generate_page_header":""},"categories":[207],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/74244"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7221"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=74244"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/74244\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=74244"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=74244"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=74244"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}