{"id":60520,"date":"2012-08-18T15:00:39","date_gmt":"2012-08-18T19:00:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/?p=60520"},"modified":"2012-08-17T14:58:14","modified_gmt":"2012-08-17T18:58:14","slug":"when-is-a-feminist-not-a-feminist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/polyamory\/when-is-a-feminist-not-a-feminist\/","title":{"rendered":"When Is a Feminist Not a Feminist?"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Maria Padhila<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

This past week marked the death, at age 90, of an icon that points out so many of the contradictions in women\u2019s sexual expression. I\u2019ve been calling Helen Gurley Brown, editor and founder of the modern version of Cosmopolitan<\/em> magazine and author of Sex and the Single Girl<\/em> and several other books, a feminist for about 30 years now, and that never fails to get at least a raised eyebrow. <\/p>\n

\"Poly
Poly Paradise at Burning Man. Photo by Eric.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

What is it that people don\u2019t like about what Brown did, said and advocated? Her detractors have some legitimate points. Many look at her accomplishments and wonder: This is progress? Really? <\/p>\n

\u2022\tShe objectified males by using them as centerfolds and by making sometimes bizarre assumptions about what ‘men’ want.<\/p>\n

\u2022\tShe and her magazine issued inane and repetitive ‘advice’ about sex, much of which centers on pleasing men.<\/p>\n

\u2022\tShe and her magazine gave career advice that was more focused on looking the part than negotiating for real power. Real power doesn\u2019t mean showing cleavage, right?<\/p>\n

\u2022\tThe whole philosophy of her books, career and magazine (whose images were about as closely held as the Mars candy company) were bent on gaming the system through feminine wiles, not changing the system.<\/p>\n

\u2022\tHer products presented an image of only one kind of female beauty — made up, cat-eyed, big-busted, slender everywhere else. It\u2019s the kind of beauty only your small disposable income can buy.<\/p>\n

Why do I call her a feminist? Here are a few reasons:<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u2022\tHer products taught hundreds of thousands of women in hundreds of countries (including Saudi Arabia) about at least some basics of their reproductive and sexual health. She has regularly pointed out and gotten behind, so to speak, masturbation, oral sex (on both sides) and anal sex, and even vanilla BDSM. And this was speaking to a mainstream audience as early as the 1970s.<\/p>\n

\u2022\tShe advocated that good, pleasurable sex was for every woman who wanted it — she herself didn\u2019t exclude on the basis of age, appearance or body issues. When she started out her solo career, she pointed out that she herself was over 40, flat-chested, and still had acne. She advocated that you should be healthy and clean and enjoy what you\u2019ve got.<\/p>\n

\u2022\tShe said what was sexy was confidence, ease and making your own way in the world. <\/p>\n

\u2022\tShe advocated making your own money, paying your own way and working. Hard. She was pretty much a puritan when it came to hard work.<\/p>\n

\u2022\tShe did not push marriage or monogamy as the be-all for women. While not an advocate of honesty or polyamory, her magazines pretty much said you don\u2019t have to ‘settle down’ to have a fine life.<\/p>\n

\u2022\tHer books had some recipes for cocktails and snacks that still rock the house.<\/p>\n

\u2022\tAs one commentator I can\u2019t track down today put it, she \u201cpopularized the clitoris.\u201d <\/p>\n

I mean, I don\u2019t know if it was lacking in popularity, exactly. Maybe it was just a matter of not knowing what to call it, or how to use it. In any case, she was as much a part of that revolution as anyone at Ms.<\/em> magazine or Off Our Backs<\/em> — whether or not she wore pantyhose and high heels and hair spray. <\/p>\n

And another thing! Because she was much more public and well-known than her more radical sisters, she took a lot more heat. She was reviled by many in the popular culture and made a joke by many others. Women in publishing — even in women\u2019s magazine publishing, for heaven\u2019s sake — are a rare breed, and she was an original. If you\u2019re going to see a magazine cover proclaiming the latest news about women\u2019s orgasms while you wait in line to buy your cantaloupe, wouldn\u2019t you at least rather have a women\u2019s name at the top of the masthead?<\/p>\n

What I liked most about her was how she exemplified the contradictions and the just plain damned fact that there is more than one way to be a women\u2019s advocate and feminist in America. <\/p>\n

Today, I\u2019m puzzled equally by women who declare that no one who is a sex worker can be other than a poor exploited being or a fellow exploiter, and women who say \u201coh, I\u2019m not a feminist because I\u2019m not like that\u201d (\u201clike that\u201d referring to anything from shaving legs to running for office). <\/p>\n

I think there\u2019s room for a Helen Gurley Brown or a Sarah Jessica Parker, whether she\u2019s serving as just a ‘gateway drug’ to full change and self-discovery, or whether she\u2019s ‘just’ entertaining. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Maria Padhila This past week marked the death, at age 90, of an icon that points out so many of the contradictions in women\u2019s sexual expression. I\u2019ve been calling Helen Gurley Brown, editor and founder of the modern version of Cosmopolitan magazine and author of Sex and the Single Girl and several other books, … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7221,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"generate_page_header":""},"categories":[207],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60520"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7221"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=60520"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60520\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=60520"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=60520"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=60520"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}