{"id":51750,"date":"2012-01-11T13:21:23","date_gmt":"2012-01-11T18:21:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/?p=51750"},"modified":"2012-01-11T13:21:23","modified_gmt":"2012-01-11T18:21:23","slug":"one-of-those-fucking-people-wins-new-hampshire-primary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/the-onion\/one-of-those-fucking-people-wins-new-hampshire-primary\/","title":{"rendered":"One Of Those Fucking People Wins New Hampshire Primary"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_51761\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-51761\" style=\"width: 590px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/NIB-One_of-R_jpg_635x345_crop-smart_upscale_q85.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/NIB-One_of-R_jpg_635x345_crop-smart_upscale_q85.jpg?resize=600%2C326&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" title=\"NIB-One_of-R_jpg_635x345_crop-smart_upscale_q85\" width=\"600\" height=\"326\" class=\"size-full wp-image-51761\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/NIB-One_of-R_jpg_635x345_crop-smart_upscale_q85.jpg?w=600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/NIB-One_of-R_jpg_635x345_crop-smart_upscale_q85.jpg?resize=300%2C163&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-51761\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">                                                                                                                                        <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.theonion.com\/articles\/one-of-those-fucking-people-wins-new-hampshire-pri,27012\/\"><strong>From The Onion<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<p>CONCORD, NH\u2014With the majority of precincts reporting, sources are now confirming that one of those fucking guys\u2014one of the ones who wore a suit on television and talked a lot\u2014has won the New Hampshire primary, beating five or six of the fuckers he was up against. &#8220;To be honest, I don&#8217;t really know which one of those cocksuckers I voted for, but I think it was the asshole with the hair,&#8221; New Hampshire resident Pete Harris told reporters. &#8220;I can\u2019t remember his name, but he was the only one who looked me in the eye and didn&#8217;t immediately make me want to throw up.&#8221; Following announcement of the results, sources said one of the assholes is probably considering dropping out, another one is probably continuing on, and who really gives a flying fuck?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>From The Onion CONCORD, NH\u2014With the majority of precincts reporting, sources are now confirming that one of those fucking guys\u2014one of the ones who wore a suit on television and talked a lot\u2014has won the New Hampshire primary, beating five or six of the fuckers he was up against. &#8220;To be honest, I don&#8217;t really &#8230; <a title=\"One Of Those Fucking People Wins New Hampshire Primary\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/the-onion\/one-of-those-fucking-people-wins-new-hampshire-primary\/\" aria-label=\"More on One Of Those Fucking People Wins New Hampshire Primary\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":191,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"generate_page_header":""},"categories":[377],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51750"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/191"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=51750"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51750\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=51750"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=51750"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=51750"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}