{"id":4714,"date":"2008-10-27T12:00:23","date_gmt":"2008-10-27T17:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/?p=4714"},"modified":"2008-10-27T12:28:44","modified_gmt":"2008-10-27T17:28:44","slug":"yer-anus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/daily-astrology\/yer-anus\/","title":{"rendered":"Yer-Anus: Astrology Comes Out of the Closet"},"content":{"rendered":"

Editor’s Note: Today we are introducing a new contributor to Daily Astrology & Adventure, named Shanna Philipson. I won’t try to describe her writing; but she is doing something with astrology, casting it in her own unique light. Welcome Shanna. — Eric Francis<\/strong> <\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Friend and Reader,<\/p>\n

There\u0432\u0402\u2122s a problem with yer-anus!<\/p>\n

Sorry to pull out my third grade humor on you, but around here that\u0432\u0402\u2122s how they say it.<\/p>\n

Yer-ayyyyy-nus! None of that dignified Ivy League tea and crumpets ur-ah-nus <\/em>for us. No, I live in the South and we\u0432\u0402\u2122re pretty much the anus type in these parts.<\/p>\n

\"Actress<\/a>
Actress Joanna Belloni during the filming of Louis & Anne, a film by Austin Alward. Photo by Danielle Voirin.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

We also like our astrology neatly buried in the back of the local indie paper where it\u0432\u0402\u2122s read in private, in the john, even at the funky independent local coffee house. I know this because, while I never see anyone openly reading the weekly horoscopes, they do keep showing up in the bathroom of my coffee house–always on the little table next to the spare toilet paper rolls.<\/p>\n

I don\u0432\u0402\u2122t know who does this, but I imagine a church-going, middle-aged mother of three who, ashamed of her addiction to Rob Brezney, must satisfy her curiosity about her weekly destiny in the quiet confines of the women\u0432\u0402\u2122s room. All this sneaking around shouldn\u0432\u0402\u2122t surprise me. The South, sadly, lives up to its reputation for repressive conservatism: we do a lot of things in bathrooms we would never admit to our coffee buddies. But I got a strong suspicion we\u0432\u0402\u2122re not much different than most of America.<\/p>\n

Which is why there\u0432\u0402\u2122s still a problem with Ur, uhm…anus. And no one wants to know about it. Or rather, if they did know about it I\u0432\u0402\u2122m pretty sure they\u0432\u0402\u2122d get up a petition and campaign to demote Uranus from planet status like poor ol\u0432\u0402\u2122 Pluto. Why? Because yer-ayyyy-nus is about to start a revolution.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Or rather, a reformation. On the eve of the Saturn-Uranus opposition, it\u0432\u0402\u2122s important, I think, that we not forget Reformation Day. If you haven\u0432\u0402\u2122t been to church in a while, or if you come from a non-Protestant background, you may not be familiar with Reformation Day. It comes each Oct. 31st and it marks the day Martin Luther nailed his 99 Theses to the door of Wittenberg Church.<\/p>\n

Yes, Oct. 31, 1517 all hell (or heaven, depending on your position) broke loose on the Official Church. And Luther precipitated a true Scorpionic transformation that hinged on death — what later became the 30 Years War and the death of many, but was initially built upon the objection that the Church could buy and sell indulgences like lottery tickets or Get-Out-of-Hell-At-A-Price cards.<\/p>\n

All Saints\u0432\u0402\u2122 Day, as the Roman Catholic Church calls it, was back then a true 8th house head-trip. All Saint\u0432\u0402\u2122s Day was the one day of the year where, if you could get to a church and press your way past the sea of smelly peasants and then merely glimpse the bones of a dead saint, you could negotiate the terms of your time in purgatory — for free.<\/p>\n

Doing business with Death with the relics of death — how much more Scorpionic is that? It was on this day that Luther used this official chaos to declare his objections on the public bulletin boards that were the church doors. Anyone with an basic education in Latin would be free to read his declaration. Turns out, lots of folks had basic Latin.<\/p>\n

With a psychologically compelling mess of an election ahead of us (politics is getting out of hell for a price), the unusual Saturn-Uranus opposition beginning, and the once in a lifetime advent of Pluto into Capricorn, I think this Scorpionic Reformation Day is particularly auspicious. So I\u0432\u0402\u2122m going to propose my own thesis. I don\u0432\u0402\u2122t have time (and you wouldn\u0432\u0402\u2122t have the patience) for 95, so I\u0432\u0402\u2122ll satisfy myself with just one.<\/p>\n

So here\u0432\u0402\u2122s my declaration:<\/p>\n

Astrology isn\u0432\u0402\u2122t sinful — or weird. So stop reading it in the john. Stop reading it on your laptop when you think no one is looking. Stop blushing when you try to share something you read at Planet Waves. Come out, I say! Declare yourself.<\/p>\n

It\u0432\u0402\u2122s just a language, folks. Okay, it may be a lot of other things to other people, but at heart, it\u0432\u0402\u2122s just a different language we need to express the human experience. Yes, we need it. Just as we need trees, and flowers, and streams and purple mountains\u0432\u0402\u2122 majesty, we need the planets and the stars and nebulas and a Galactic Center to describe and enjoy our life here on earth.<\/p>\n

An old songwriter once said it this way:<\/p>\n

The heavens declare the glory of G-d,
\nThe skies proclaim the works of his hands.
\nDay after day they pour forth speech;
\nNight after night they display their knowledge.
\nThere is no speech or language where their voice is not heard.
\nTheir voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the end of the world.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The skies speak to everyone — everywhere. But for too long you and I have looked away and buried our noses in the alternate proof-texts of our lives — the statistical data, the spreadsheets, the social-networking pages, the TV docu-dramas, the mail-order catalogues that consume our ideas of what \u0432\u0402\u045areal.\u0432\u0402\u045c<\/p>\n

It\u0432\u0402\u2122s time we looked up and out. The heavens declare the glory of God, man. Whatever you call God, or Goddess or the spirit of Humanity.<\/p>\n

Happy Reformation Day.<\/p>\n

Yours & truly,
\nShana Philipson<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Editor’s Note: Today we are introducing a new contributor to Daily Astrology & Adventure, named Shanna Philipson. I won’t try to describe her writing; but she is doing something with astrology, casting it in her own unique light. Welcome Shanna. — Eric Francis Dear Friend and Reader, There\u0432\u0402\u2122s a problem with yer-anus! Sorry to pull … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"generate_page_header":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[36,52,117,84,452],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4714"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/17"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4714"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4714\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4714"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4714"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4714"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}