{"id":38046,"date":"2011-05-07T12:36:08","date_gmt":"2011-05-07T17:36:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/?p=38046"},"modified":"2011-05-07T12:43:21","modified_gmt":"2011-05-07T17:43:21","slug":"being-responsible-for-my-own-pleasure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/daily-astrology\/being-responsible-for-my-own-pleasure\/","title":{"rendered":"Being Responsible for My Own Pleasure"},"content":{"rendered":"

Editor’s Note: May is Masturbation Month, which I covered in a Planet Waves article recently<\/a>. My friend Dee Greene has a cool sex blog<\/a>, and she posted this today. I am republishing it here. She will be able to read and respond to your comments. –efc
\n<\/em>
\nBy Dee Greene<\/strong><\/p>\n

Self-pleasure is sacred to me. Despite early messages<\/a> that what I was doing was wrong, or later experiences<\/a> that taught me to keep it a closely-held secret, I have cherished masturbation for as long as I can remember.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
image via mezone<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Over many years devoted to the pressure+tension orgasm, I learned how to come while sitting up at a desk with my legs crossed. This method was handy when I was in law school. Sitting at my study carrel in the library, in broad view right next to the glass balcony, I would cross my legs and press, release, press, release, press, release, until the throbbing made my face red and splotchy, my breathing heavy, and beads of sweat graced my neckline.<\/p>\n

When I felt frustrated or tired, the desk orgasm was a great pick-me-up. I was subtle about it; exhibitionism wasn\u2019t my aim. But once a fellow student was in the stacks nearby. I didn\u2019t realize this until afterward. He watched as my head involuntarily fell back, jaw slack, my sighs audible. When I opened my eyes and saw him watching me, he blushed and scuttled down the aisle. He never said a word to me about what he witnessed.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

At home, I prefer my tension or pressure orgasms lying on my left side, thighs pressed together. I may use a dildo, or I may place my left middle finger in my vagina, the heel of my hand pressing against my clit through my vulva. But lying on my left side, knees clamped together, has long been the go-to position.<\/p>\n

When Taryn and I started sexing together, I learned that her default self-pleasure position was to lie on her right side, legs clamped together. We thought this incredibly serendipitous. We like to masturbate together, and this way we could face each other, me on my left side and she on her right, breathing the other\u2019s breath. Very sexy.<\/p>\n

Masturbating together has become a deeply satisfying aspect of our shared sexlife. When people treat masturbation like a pathetic second-best option, I feel sorry for them. Self-pleasure is glorious, in my world. Sharing self-pleasure with a lover has helped me not only explore my own sexuality with more confidence, but has provided empathy and insight to others\u2019 sexual responses and self-pleasure. Gone are the days when I quietly get off by myself after the \u201creal sex\u201d is over, hoping that my partner won\u2019t hear me and be offended or hurt.<\/p>\n

Taryn and I often like to end our partnersex with masturbation. For me, it reinforces that I am responsible for my own pleasure.\u00a0 We aren\u2019t focused on \u201cgiving\u201d each other orgasms. Stimulation \u2013 whether mental, audible, tactile \u2013 is fodder for pleasure, but the pleasure itself comes from within. It is mine. It is hers. Yes, it is ours, but ultimately, we give to ourselves.<\/em><\/p>\n

I was perfectly happy with my pressure\/tension masturbation method and saw no need to vary what worked. But after my adventures exploring direct clitoral stimulation<\/a>, I realized that I had been depriving myself the potential smorgasbord of possibility.<\/p>\n

In my next post, I\u2019ll tell you how I learned to orgasm with my legs open.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Editor’s Note: May is Masturbation Month, which I covered in a Planet Waves article recently. My friend Dee Greene has a cool sex blog, and she posted this today. I am republishing it here. She will be able to read and respond to your comments. –efc By Dee Greene Self-pleasure is sacred to me. Despite … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"generate_page_header":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38046"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38046"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38046\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38046"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38046"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38046"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}