{"id":22262,"date":"2010-02-07T08:19:29","date_gmt":"2010-02-07T13:19:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/?p=22262"},"modified":"2010-02-07T10:21:14","modified_gmt":"2010-02-07T15:21:14","slug":"oldies-series-three-way-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/sex-oldies-series\/oldies-series-three-way-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"Oldies Series: Three-Way Sex"},"content":{"rendered":"

This post continues the sex oldies series, begun about two posts down. This is another one of my favorites. It speaks to one of peoples’ hottest and most persistent fantasies: three-way sex. It’s from a series I did for the Seattle-based website Sexuality.org<\/a>, which is connected with something called the Sex Positive Community Center or SPCC, also called The Wet Spot. This is sort of the local YMCA of sex, in downtown Seattle; there are some cool things in that somewhat odd city: another tale.<\/p>\n

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Altar with Iris, Blue Studio. Picture (not really visible) on top left is Pamela Coleman Smith. Photo by Eric Francis.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Looking to today’s astrology, we see a picture of this theme in a triple grouping of planets, Venus, Chiron and Neptune, in Aquarius. Venus brings the desire\/beauty element, Chiron brings the healing\/awareness element, Neptune brings the fantasy element and Aquarius brings the group element.<\/p>\n

The conjunction we’ve lived through the past three days is over — Sun conjunct Nessus. That was the big question mark hanging over so much. Venus-Chiron-Neptune is more of a big yes, including yes to the places our desire has been hurt and where we seek to heal and be real. When we talk about this concept of ‘sexual healing’, the notion is ambiguous to many; and it has a different meaning to everyone. Yet we all share a common thread of light, which is seeking the freedom to desire what we want, free of guilt. This is an attribute of self-acceptance, since desire is a core attribute of self.<\/p>\n

As for three-way sex. Most of us want it at some time. Mixed Emotions talks about the transition from the fantasy to the reality. The context in this article is male-female sex, with the introduction of a third element. For lesbian, gay and\/or trans couples, it will not be that different than what I am describing below; perhaps simpler, in some ways, since the element of homophobia has been addressed — but there is always heterophobia to experiment with!<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The thing to remember is that there is a difference between what you imagine and what will happen: and you need to mind the gap, and give the experience a few chances before you decide it is or is not for you. In fantasy one has total control. In reality, you have the vibrations of three different people influencing one another, including desires various shades of desire and fear. The other thing to remember is that people getting together and exploring sex in some form of group is as natural as the squirrels running around my backyard. It’s lodged deep in human nature.<\/p>\n

I am sure I would say some things differently were I to rewrite this article; I have more experience and learning than I did 10 years ago. But I will sum it up this way. If you are an individual and you want this experience, harmonize with couples and look\/feel around for ones that are open to the idea — and who seem driven by their curiosity and mutual desire to give one another this gift.<\/p>\n

If you’re a couple and you want to have this experience, decide whether you’re more interested in a male or female participant and look\/feel around for someone.<\/p>\n

If you are a participant in a couple and want to try this with your partner, express the desire and play with the fantasy when you’re exploring sex together. Some of your partners will be open to it; some will not, some will grow into it if you have an open mind and it really turns you on.<\/p>\n

I could say more about the bisexual polarities involved, but the thing to beware of, and work with, is the element of homophobia. If you’re a guy, note that your female partner may prefer either a second man or a woman to join you; most men involved with women want a second woman, but a second guy is one of the friendliest ways to experiment with male bisexuality.<\/p>\n

There are a lot of possibilities. For example, you don’t need to actually have penetrative sex. For the first couple of experiences you can hang out and masturbate together, and test the waters and see how you feel. There is just one common element: open hearts all the way around. Basically, you need everyone to be honest on every level; and then it usually works. That’s from the ancient Tantric teachings, passed along by my mentor Joe.<\/p>\n

Anyway, here is my missive on three-way sex, called Mixed Emotions<\/a><\/strong>, from the Organic Love series at Sexuality.org.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This post continues the sex oldies series, begun about two posts down. This is another one of my favorites. It speaks to one of peoples’ hottest and most persistent fantasies: three-way sex. It’s from a series I did for the Seattle-based website Sexuality.org, which is connected with something called the Sex Positive Community Center or … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"generate_page_header":""},"categories":[1648],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22262"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22262"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22262\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22262"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22262"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22262"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}