{"id":22166,"date":"2010-02-04T21:59:21","date_gmt":"2010-02-05T02:59:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/?p=22166"},"modified":"2010-02-05T06:19:12","modified_gmt":"2010-02-05T11:19:12","slug":"apropos-of-mars-retgorade","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/daily-astrology\/apropos-of-mars-retgorade\/","title":{"rendered":"Apropos of Mars retrograde"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mars is the planet of desire; Leo is one of the most poignant signs of passion. Mars is retrograde. I’m curious how you’re experiencing this within your desire nature.<\/p>\n

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The model Velocity in a photo session for Book of Blue.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I’ve been giving myself permission to want who and what I want, and to be open with them about it. I am practicing this as a fully conscious yoga.<\/p>\n

This may seem like nothing new, but most of what you’ve read that I’ve written about my sexuality or sexual ideas are describing a work in progress; a growing toward. All of it — to the last word — is either an adaptation to my environment, or the envisioning of a new environment and sexual ethos where I can be free and can invite others to be free.<\/p>\n

I’ve never accepted that someone else could dictate for me what was right or wrong, appropriate or not; though I haven’t always felt good about holding my space, and this is my goal, or one of them. I’m learning that I have good judgment which includes knowing that if I don’t take some risks, nothing will happen: and by risks I mean reaching out. I’m still working out the part about standing on both feet in my heart center; sometimes I still feel shaky on my pins — there are so many reasons and occasions to doubt. I do keep noticing an inner backlash and sometimes an outer backlash each time I take step toward being real(er), and then I work through the energy and enjoy the landscape when I can; and see who is there to keep company with and tune into what they want and see if there’s a place we can meet.<\/p>\n

Mars retrograde feels like clear encouragement to be real, and to find the blocks that I’m holding back against being real. Sometimes I feel met; other times I feel isolated; sometimes I notice the rank hypocrisy of the world, and sometimes I am determined to not be its next victim. I know that I am reaching for a dimension of authenticity, contact and passion that I haven’t yet encountered with another person. I’ve had the sexual aspects at times, and the relational aspects at times, though it’s rare that the two meet in the same person, place or time. I do my best to keep them aligned within myself.<\/p>\n

This retrograde is taking place in my 2nd house, and for me that is about going deep into embracing my self-esteem; which sounds like a weird word, esteem for myself — it’s not about that, it’s about granting myself permission to exist, as I am, whether I am accepted by others or not; whether they have the courage to reach out to me or not.<\/p>\n

Yet mingled with that permission to exist is a long shadow, which encompasses all the ways I’ve been taught and conditioned and conditioned myself to not accept myself, and as that comes up, and I keep looking at whatever surfaces and letting it go, one idea, feeling or shadow at a time. I feel this transit not so much as ‘desire for myself’ but rather desire for complete self acceptance: of who I am and what is important to me. Sometimes I verge on celebration, sometimes I verge on feeling free, sometimes I come close to that seemingly dangerous edge where I recognize that compassion for myself is inevitable, so I would save lots of energy if I go there and stay there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mars is the planet of desire; Leo is one of the most poignant signs of passion. Mars is retrograde. I’m curious how you’re experiencing this within your desire nature. I’ve been giving myself permission to want who and what I want, and to be open with them about it. I am practicing this as a … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"generate_page_header":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22166"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22166"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22166\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22166"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22166"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22166"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}