How long must it take to succeed at something, and why?<\/p>\n
I just got back from dinner with Christine Farber, who sponsored my presentation here yesterday; who decided that a process involving art would be a good thing to expose professional psychologists to. Actually she was keeping me company at dinner, and it was the first hour I had her alone since getting here. The conversation meandered through success, happiness, achievement and seeking depth of human contact. I mentioned that the subject had arisen here that it could take between five and eight more years for me to get anywhere as a photographer.<\/p>\n
The question she asked was: and why would that be?<\/p>\n
There is actually no reason. All it takes is one point of human contact; the illumination of one synapse in the collective soul. I suggest we stop telling one another how hard it’s gonna be and start making it easier for one another. (To do that we would only need to ditch those inner authoritarian voices of parents and teachers who told us the same thing, and be ourselves.)<\/p>\n
I am certain we don’t admit how much we can do for one another, and if we do, we spent a lot of time and energy not doing it. We don’t usually recognize how much we can do for ourselves, either, but let’s talk about helping one another from the point of advantage we have. I recognize I live in a world where I will take the first opportunity to do what I can, for anyone I can. I recognize that most of what I have accomplished has come from a combination of preparing and practicing and developing — and then there is a point of collaboration. Someone helps me. Sometimes I reach for the person; sometimes they just see an opening and are helpful. Sometimes someone just gives you a chance.<\/p>\n
People often ask me how I do so much. I apply myself; and I have help. I mean, I really have help, which thrives in a environment of compassion and appreciation. Because I have that help, I can be here for you and offer myself fully to you.<\/p>\n
Jonathan Cainer is an example of someone in my life who recognized my talent and created an opportunity for it to work for both of us, or rather, for all of us. Many times my clients have found me horoscope gigs; in fact it seems like any time I get hired to write the horoscope for a magazine, or any time there is a real conversation about a book project, it comes through a subscriber. Then as a result, the magazine benefits, and thousands more people find out about my work.<\/p>\n
My best gig at the moment came from a reader who purchased a subscription for someone who was the chief sub-editor of a national magazine; who then hired me as the horoscope writer. Did she personally benefit? I don’t think she’s getting any checks, but she’s benefiting from the knowledge that she actually accomplished something; which is an essential part of life that we need to sensitive ourselves to the beauty of.<\/p>\n
We live in a world where we make these things the exception and not the rule. What if we turned that around? I’m not talking about sacrificing ourselves for one another but rather precisely the opposite: doing what we can, because we can. I know the mantra of most people on the planet is scarcity – withhold – scarcity – withhold<\/em>. If that’s your mantra, that’s what you make. You make it for you, and you make it for the people around you. You could just as easily chant about having plenty and offering plenty. It’s hard to do that — often because there is so much withholding going on!<\/p>\n To support one another we would have to give up our petty jealousy first, and our fear that nothing good can happen to us; the people who do creative and positive things for one another are what I would describe as people of faith. They simply have faith and live by that faith; it lights the way and makes plenty more seem possible. Indeed, it is faith and faith alone that makes the impossible seem practical. The reason I’m here at this conference is because someone recognized my work, perceived its value and asked me if I was willing to present here. I said yes and we created it.<\/p>\n So why exactly should it take five or eight years for my photography to be recognized and rewarded for its value? There is no reason at all, unless the people who have the power to contribute choose not to, or I choose not to receive what is offered. Why should Planet Waves not quite break even when it can thrive wildly? No reason at all — unless people decide for themselves that ‘free’ is better than participating, or if I decide to be unreliable and unethical. Everything, and I do mean everything, happens or does not happen in the context of a relationship; because of what two or more entities offer one another in relationship.<\/p>\n Personally, I make it a yoga to be as supportive as I can be of everyone in my life. It was helpful when my friend JJH taught me the word dharma: to act as if to hold the world together. I mean supportive in conscience and I mean writing checks or giving someone a camera or a chance for their work to be seen. I mean supportive as in making sure that every word that I write is designed to create clarity and understanding and remind you that you can do what you want or need to do, if you choose to. I take this approach because it’s more fun, it’s logical and it makes my world a more pleasant place to be. I thrive on the people around me being happy, or for those who don’t seek happiness, at least constructively engaged with their lives.<\/p>\n I think we might all want to ask ourselves whether this is true for us. I say this as a person who has dragged around plenty of resentment, guilt and anger. I’ve made it my business to work through and rise above these things to the extent that I can and leave the unfinished work on the agenda.<\/p>\n We don’t need to wait for ‘the world’ to catch up with anything. One by one, we need to start doing what we can for one another and asking for the help that we need. There is guilt associated with both sides of that equation and we need, for our own health and sanity and for a chance to enjoy our lives, to give that up for something better. Something, by the way, that we already have, but which we are blinded to by our own refusal to love. We just miss this basic point, which is that the more love you give the more love you have. And if you think you’re giving love and you don’t have any — it might not be love that you’re giving.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" How long must it take to succeed at something, and why? I just got back from dinner with Christine Farber, who sponsored my presentation here yesterday; who decided that a process involving art would be a good thing to expose professional psychologists to. 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