![\"Piyush](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/bobby_jindal.jpg?resize=260%2C325&ssl=1\" "\\"bobby_jindal\\"")
Republicans got the memo that this country is ready for something new, and they contacted Mattel immediately. After much brainstorming, Mattelican Corp. programmed a first-generation American with Punjabi parents. McCain is currently being instructed how to use the joystick. Last night, he was given control over Jindal’s hands<\/a>.<\/p>\n Bobby Jindal, the Mattelican Corp product, made his national debut last night when he presented\u0412\u00a0the GOP’s response<\/a> to President Obama’s address to the nation.<\/p>\n The Hindu-born, fresh face on the scene has completed the preliminary tests, particularly with the language programming feature. He can now say over 100 phrases, including: “it’s time for change: let’s ban abortion,” “that’s cool, man,” “I have gay friends but I don’t believe in same-sex marriage,” “don’t be scared, I converted to Catholicism,” “I’m just not down with stem cell research,” “I am not a terrorist” and “My name’s Piyush but you can call me Bobby.”<\/p>\n An avid woodsman, he personally chopped down a redwood tree in 2006, at the invocation of “Save a Kid: Chop Down a Tree.” Save a Kid is a youth program sponsored by People for Families Not Like Yours. Part of the program involves lobbying Congress to switch to redwood-based paper, in the hopes that “America will be Tree Free by 2014.” Jindal’s biographers believe this passion for a treeless world has something to do with his past: he had a horrible addiction to clean air as a teenager, but claims to be off the stuff for years.<\/p>\n The RNC has plans to issue Gov. Jindal with some accessories, including a Blackberry, shipped in special from China. He’s also rumored to come with PhotoShop, which he will use to design his own campaign logo. Cosmetic surgeons have been commissioned to see if they can unpin his ears.\u0412\u00a0His two novels, The Audacity of the Pope<\/em> and Gleams from my Mother: The Sanctity of Sperm<\/em>, will be published at the end of 2009.<\/p>\n –Eric Francis & Rachel Asher<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Dear Friend and Reader: He’s dark skinned, he was born a heathen and he’s younger than your kid sister – it’s the imitation Barack Obama. Republicans got the memo that this country is ready for something new, and they contacted Mattel immediately. After much brainstorming, Mattelican Corp. programmed a first-generation American with Punjabi parents. McCain … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"generate_page_header":""},"categories":[762],"tags":[36,1143,1146,1144,1142,52,1140,1141,117],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11834"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/17"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11834"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11834\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11834"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11834"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11834"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}