Dear Eric,<\/p>\n
I’ve enjoyed your blogs and horoscopes for some time now but have never thought to write.\u0412\u00a0 I am hoping, though, that you might be able to give me some insight.<\/p>\n
I am a Scorpio, and I’m in a relationship with an Aquarian. He is from Armenia but lives in Brussels. I am from the West Coast but live in Wales. You can probably imagine the distance is a struggle.\u0412\u00a0 Anyway, we’ve been together since October 2005 but since April 2007 things have been more ‘life’s a bitch’ than ‘life’s a beach’.\u0412\u00a0 He has had immigration problems and political and family problems back home. He works and goes to classes 12 hours a day and our communication has really disintegrated, meaning it feels like we are loving and trusting each other less.\u0412\u00a0 The easy answer is to finish and let each other go in peace. The problem is that I love him and deep down feel that things will eventually smooth out and come right. I don’t know. There is the added problem that neither of us is totally straightforward, having both experienced broken hearts in the past, so that also makes communication difficult.<\/p>\n
If you aren’t totally swamped, would you be able to give me some advice?<\/p>\n
Thanks
\nT<\/p>\n
Hey T<\/p>\n
I can elaborate this in a longer answer, but think of it this way. Were you not coming from monogamous paradigm, this question would not matter so much: there would be no question that you could ride the relationship out to better times; and not sacrifice your own needs. Unless you are sure that being with another man would absolutely alienate him, which might be a reason not to. But the toggle switch is one issue as I see it. Also, distance relationships are inherently difficult because it’s not possible to share\u0412\u00a0 many things up close that are the basic stock of being in one another’s lives (such as food); but the world has opened up to these vast networks of communication. So it’s natural that we would use them, and I think we need to devote a whole topic of life to the theme.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Still I suggest that we proceed with adjusted expectations and demands on relationship structure. The structure of a long distance relationship over electronic media does not need to be the same as a 18th century marriage in a small village. Is there anyway it really could be? And why are we resistant to experiment with new forms, and different guidelines? Are we all clinging to an idea from the past? Or just with our need for security? Possible that they are the same.<\/p>\n
This man is your friend and you love him; why should that change? Unless the relationship in this form has run its course; and we don’t need to be trapped in linear time either. He could well resurface as more present in another season.<\/p>\n
e<\/p>\n
Thanks so much for getting back to me, Eric.\u0412\u00a0 I appreciate it.\u0412\u00a0 I think what you’ve said is probably what I’ve come to understand myself.\u0412\u00a0 As to the monogamy paradigm, I think I am more concerned about monogamy than he is.\u0412\u00a0 He seems to recognise that should I want or need to, I can see other people.\u0412\u00a0 At this point, I prefer not to.\u0412\u00a0 Though adjusting my expectations has been hard, the feeling I have to explain or rationalise the unconventional nature of our relationship to others, especially my family, has been harder.<\/p>\n
Thanks again for getting back to me in person.\u0412\u00a0 I feel honoured.<\/p>\n
T<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear Eric, I’ve enjoyed your blogs and horoscopes for some time now but have never thought to write.\u0412\u00a0 I am hoping, though, that you might be able to give me some insight. I am a Scorpio, and I’m in a relationship with an Aquarian. He is from Armenia but lives in Brussels. I am from … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"generate_page_header":""},"categories":[456,1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10477"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10477"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10477\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10477"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10477"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/planetwaves.net\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10477"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}