You are a deep and thoughtful person, but it's rather incredible the extent to which your entire reasoning process is based on doubt. You usually arrive at the truth by reduction; by determining, through a long process, what is not true; and then what is left must therefore be true. It is now time to reverse that process: to seek the core of the matter as a conscious act. You may feel like you're going on a hunt for a unicorn. That is, you may doubt, at the outset, whether what you are seeking really exists. This is one place where your doubt is not going to serve you; now you either need faith or determination. As has so often been said, the truth you are seeking is within yourself. You have spent much of your existence, and I mean from early childhood on, encountering very old ideas, and you still love tradition. Yet any tradition that is alive, changes. That is the whole point: it is an evolutionary process. This works for you on several levels, one or more of which may apply. The first is your sense of community. The second is your sense of family. The last is your talent for some form of expression of an idea. Think of it this way. You go to the library basement, where everything is kept that nobody has bothered with since AOL was invented. You find there is another basement. You go down there, and you start writing, and you come up with something actually original -- and you never stop.