Mar 08 2009
Utah Residents Are A Bunch Of Wankers: But Not On Sundays
What do you get when you mix Mormons, a virgin porn czar and a high-speed internet connection? The most voracious consumers of subscription porn in the country.
Result number two when one Googles "naughty." Utah's citizens, according to Google Trends, is first in the nation in searches for "naughty," "pornography," "naked girls," "striptease," "topless," "nude" and "strip poker."
The Winter 2009 edition of the Journal of Economic Perspectives published some intriguing research from Benjamin Edelmen of Harvard’s School of Business [click here for the pdf]: In four different measurements analyzing broadband Internet connections and subscriptions Internet porn, Utah’s residents are the number one purchasers of online subscriptions.
High consumption of internet porn seems to be directly related to the level of social restrictions: states that ban gay marriage and are more conservative are more likely to watch heaps of porn. The Beehive state in particular (named for bees, not the hairdo) has duplicity down to a science.
Utah’s vocal about its opposition to pornography, and from 2001-2003 hired Paula Houston, a 41-year old virgin, as Obscenity and Pornography Complaints Ombudsman, aka Porn Czar. While the formal reason for ending the program was lack of funding, I’d venture a guess that the real reason was lack of chafing and increased use of two-handed typing.
Ms. Houston was a firm follower of the Church of Latter Day Saints (LDS), whose headquarters are in Salt Lake City. The LDS’ stance on pornography is unequivocal: “Using pornographic material in any way is a violation of a commandment of God: вЂ?Thou shalt not…commit adultery…nor do anything like unto it’ (D&C 59:6). It can lead to other serious sins. Members of the Church should avoid pornography in any form and should oppose its production, distribution, and use.”
While neither the Church nor the Porn Czar were able to stop Utah’s incessant watching and wanking, they did manage to slow it on Sundays. Mr. Edelman, author of the internet porn study, explains: “on the whole, those who attend religious services shift their consumption of adult entertainment to other days of the week, despite on average consuming the same amount of adult entertainment as others.”
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One Response to “Utah Residents Are A Bunch Of Wankers: But Not On Sundays”
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Not surprisingly, antidepressants are prescribed in Utah at an astonishing rate.
I read a study a few years ago that showed Utah leading the states with the most prescriptions for antidepressants, at a rate that was almost twice as high as the US average.
Come out, come out, wherever you are…